Then I let her go and watch her walk away with some other guy and now I know what she’s talking about when she says what we have is too painful, because everything in me hurts.
Please let her decide to come to me!
Alexis
Bright lights skip over the car windows as Logan drives us home. He hasn’t said a word and I know why. He’s going to pretend nothing happened so we can continue to stay together, but this life is a lie and I can’t let either of us live a lie.
“Logan, I have to confess….”
He interrupts, “Please don’t tell me, Alex.”
With his eyes looking straight ahead I can see unshed tears. “Logan, this thing we have isn’t fair to you.”
“I know you love him, but you said it yourself, you’re dangerous for each other.” He turns and looks at me. “I saw it, the raw passion, the all-consuming emotions you both had. It’s intense and I think you’re right not to want that in your life.”
“I’m not a hundred percent sure I don’t want it in my life anymore,” I say and watch as the first tear breaks free and rolls down his cheek. I reach out and wipe it away.
“Not sure anymore, huh?” he asks. “Where does that leave me, Alex?”
I look out the window, “I’m not real sure, Logan.”
I never meant to hurt him. I may not go back to Max, but I know I can’t continue to let Logan think we have a future. Lightning crackles through the sky and rain begins to fall as we go home, and I cry as I feel shame for my actions.
Why does life have to be so hard?
Part 5 Secrets of Temptation
Alexis
It’s been a month since I moved out of Logan’s nice house and into a crummy apartment in Dallas, but things are looking up and I’m moving in with a guy I work with a lot.
Just as roommates!
Marcos is so metrosexual. I think he may be homosexual and is just too wrapped up in himself to realize it. The guy spends more time on his appearance than any female I’ve ever known. We met at a modeling gig.
Oh yeah, I’m a model now!
When I was looking for a job, so I could move out of Logan’s house, I saw an ad for a modeling job at the mall and joked about checking that one out. Logan said I should and took me so I couldn’t back out of it. They hired me on the spot and have kept me busy this whole last month.
Logan was upset that I broke it off with him, but he lucked out at the modeling interview as he started talking to one of the women there and they hooked up. The worst part is that I felt no jealousy, I mean what’s wrong with me?
Logan is the nicest guy ever and I just didn’t feel anything deep for him. Friendship is about all I felt. I’m an idiot, that’s for sure.
So I’m in my van and driving back to Houston. That’s where Marcos has what he calls a to-die-for apartment. There are plenty of modeling jobs the company I work for has in Houston too. I love the town, but I do fear running into Max.
He’s been nice about giving me time and space, but I know he wants me with him and I’m just too afraid of that soul-shattering effect he has on me. I take his calls, because I promised him I would always do that. He’s down to one or two a week now. I think he’s trying to come to terms with the fact we’re dangerous for each other.
No one should have that ding dang much power over your happiness. No one should be able to make your whole day with just the touch of their hand or ruin your day by getting themselves sick or hurt. If he and I were to really be together I would always be worried about him. I’d try my best to wrap him up in bubble wrap and make sure nothing happened to him, because it would devastate me if it did.
Our last conversation he told me the young, French girl, Kate, who found him floundering in the ocean wants him to visit her in France. He said she asked if he would bring me along. She wants what’s best for him and she thinks it’s me.
Silly girl!
How can I be what’s best for Mr. Billionaire?
I’m pulling up to the gates of one very nice place which doesn’t even begin to resemble apartments. I push in the code Marcos gave me and the gates open, so I am definitely in the right place. Oh, man, this place is nice and my van looks like I’m here to clean someone’s home, not live here.
I really should get a nicer car!
Max
Pink and orange hues fill the sky as I sit by the pool and semi-patiently wait for Lexi to call me and tell me she made it safely to her new apartment. She’s moving in with a man she tells me is probably gay, and he’s completely gorgeous. She’s so naïve. I don’t trust her judgement and she won’t let me meet him or come see her. Our last encounter has her afraid of what we have.
I tried to push her hard at first, but she told me she’d stop talking to me all together if I didn’t, and these are her words, not mine, ‘put my panties in the icebox so I could chill out already.’
That girl always has me laughing. I wish she’d let me talk to her every day, but she won’t. There are times she’ll answer the phone, ask if I’m okay and when I say yes, she tells me that she is too and hangs up. She’s crazy and I’m crazy about her.
Kate has asked me to come to visit her and her family in France and asked me to bring Lexi. When I told her she refuses to go with me she tut tuts in her tiny voice with a French accent and tells me to try much harder. My little angel thinks Lexi and I are meant to be together and we must make sure we are, or our lives here are in vain.
Yeah, she’s over the top!
The French and their idea of all-encompassing love, it’s sweet, but when your soulmate is afraid of her own shadow it may be impossible to ever have what we’re apparently meant to have.
My phone rings and I see it’s my love. “Hello, love.”
“What did I tell you about that, Max?” Lexi asks.
“Not to say it, but I was worried with you on the road and I do love you. Every so often I want you to remember that, Lexi.”
“Anyway, Prince Charming, I made it. I’m safe and Marcos is making us celebratory Caipirinhas. He says they’re the latest cocktail and to-die-for. He uses that phrase a lot, so many things are so great you would actually give your life up for them.”
I laugh. “You are to-die-for, Lexi. You should let me come see you.”
“Should I?” she asks coyly.
My heart skips a beat. “Yes, I’ll bring you Chinese food.” I wait and cross my fingers.
“Marcos, you want Chinese food?” she shouts right into the phone.
Please, please, please want some, Marcos!!!
“Carbs, baby, no way!” I hear his very effeminate voice say.
“Steaks,” I blurt out. “I’ll bring steaks and salad!”
“How about steaks and salad?” she asks.
“Now we’re talking,” I hear him say. “Tell, Mr. Too Handsome, to bring some of the low carb beer we like so much and he can visit.”
I think I love this man already!
“Give me the address and I’ll be there,” I say and find myself jumping up and down with excitement.
“You sure?” she asks. “It’s like clear across town. I’d hate for you to go out of your way.”
“Lexi, you damn well know I’d go across the world for you,” I say and silence is all I hear.
I brought up the dreaded fact I’d do anything for her and stirred the fear pot she always has boiling inside her.
“Max, just so you know, I will not be having any type of sex with you and your visit will not be an overnight one. You can come and don’t forget the ice cream. I’ll text you the address. See you soon, bye,” she says and hangs up.
Dancing all the way into the house I see Hilda and grab her up in a big hug. “Mijo, what is this about?” she asks.
“Lexi is back in town and has asked me to come see her,” I say and twirl Hilda around.
She laughs. “Oh, how fantastic! Do you think she’s finally coming around and letting her crazy fears go?”
I let her go and walk towards the front door.
I look over my shoulder and say, “I hope so.”
“Me too, Mijo, me too,” Hilda says. “Have fun.”
After a month, I’m finally going to see Lexi again!
Alexis
My freakin’ stomach is already swarming with butterflies.
I should’ve never said Max could come over!
I showed Marcos a picture of Max and he took my phone and sent the picture to our boss. Immediately she called me and asked who the gorgeous creature was and can I get him to work for her. When I told her I doubted it because he’s already quite wealthy, she said there would be a fat raise for me if I could. Then Marcos grabbed my phone and told her that he was the one who sent the picture so he should get the raise. She said if we could pull it off, we’d both get one.
So here I wait and try my best to stay calm as the man who makes my heart beat out of my chest comes to see me. It’s been a month and I’m about to burst as it is. With him around I might give in to him and I managed to escape getting pregnant from our crazy store room encounter and don’t wish to tempt fate anymore.
Marcos comes and sits next to me on the sofa. The man is immaculate with a black suit some insanely expensive designer gave him. These designers just give us clothes and asks us to wear them around. It’s crazy!
I had on shorts and a T-shirt when I got here this afternoon, but he made me change into clothes that he picked out. I have on a tight red dress and some heels to match, he says they cost a lot of money and I should take very good care of them. Then the man did my hair and make-up; he even spritzed me with some fantastic smelling perfume. I told him Max was going to come unglued and he said that’s just what we need him to do.
I feel a little bad for doing this to Max, but Marcos is demanding it.
What Marcos demands, Marcos gets!
The doorbell rings and my heart goes into overdrive. I find I’m sweating and start to drag my hand across my forehead. Marcos grabs my wrist. “No, mam!” He hands me a tissue then changes his mind and takes it from me, dabbing at my forehead himself. “Why are you such a mess, woman?”
“Max makes me so, uh, what’s the word, umm…” I say and Marcos nods.
“I see, he makes you stupid,” he says with a laugh. I roll my eyes. “Don’t do that anymore, you look like you’re crazy. Wait, you are!”
I move away from him and make my way to the door as I fan myself with my hand.
Be cool! Be calm! Don’t be taken to where you went before!
After a deep breath I open the door and find the most handsome man on the planet standing there with an arm full of bags and a twelve pack of Marcos’s and my favorite beer.
Max opens his mouth, but nothing comes out. His eyes roam over me and I blush. “I know it’s too much, Marcos fixed me up.”
“No, it’s not too much,” he manages to say. “Lexi, you’re beyond gorgeous.”
I take the beer from his hand and turn away. My heart is pounding and my knees are weak. I look over my shoulder and say, “Follow me, lover boy.”
Marcos looks at me and smiles. “So this is the Max Lane.”
Max sets the bags on the table and turns to Marcos. “And this is the Marcos.” Max extends his hand.
Marcos takes it and gives it a shake. “You are so much better looking than the picture.” His eyes move up and down as he takes in the gorgeous specimen of a man.
Max looks at me and laughs. “Okay, I believe you know.”
I nod. “I told you, completely metrosexual.”
Marcos laughs his silly laugh and slaps his leg. “You thought I was after your girl?”
“Stranger things have happened between roommates, Marcos.” Max pulls a beer from the box and hands it to him. “Anyway, I got us some steaks and I’d assume in this place there must be a pit of some kind where I can cook them.”
Marcos rolls his head to look at me. “You are an idiot. He cooks and is easy on the eyes.”
“I know,” I say and grab two beers from the box and place one in Max’s hand. “Follow me out to the patio, there’s a little pit out there I saw, and since it’s something Marcos bought it must be to-die-for and probably has never been used.”
“You just happen to be right, Lexi,” Marcos says and Max turns back.
“Not Alex?” he asks. “You call her Lexi too?”
“Obviously,” he says as his hands go up in the air. “She is no Alex, after all.”
Max looks at me and smiles. “Him, I like, princess.”
I’m trying so diggity dog hard to stay cool with him around, but it’s taking everything in me to keep my hands off him.
How long will I be able to hold out?
Max
I have no idea how long I can keep my hands off this gorgeous woman. I’m trying to play it cool so maybe she can stop thinking we’re way to passionate about each other and that it isn’t healthy. My plan is to keep my hands to myself and hopefully she’ll come to me.
This is by far the hardest thing I’ve ever done!
She looks like a goddess in her tight, red dress. Her hair is curled to perfection and her make-up looks like it was professionally done. So I ask, “Did you learn how to use the curling iron and make-up case?”
“No,” Marcos says. “She’s stubborn and too impatient to take the time to do it right. I fixed her up.”
The thought of him raking his hands through her hair and running them over her face kinda makes me mad, but one look at him and I’m over it. He is very much about himself. A model too; he looks every bit the part. Perfect hair and body, dresses impeccably and holds himself so much better than regular guys.
“You did a great job, but you did have a fantastic canvas to start with.”
“I know, this woman has so much natural beauty, well it’s just not fair,” he says as his hands move about.
Lexi opens the fancy little pit on the patio and says, “Can we talk about something more important than my looks for the love of Pete’s dog?”
We both laugh and I move to stand behind her and nearly put my arms around her small waist, then stop myself and take a step back.
“So, how do you guys like your steaks?” I ask.
“Rare,” they both answer in unison.
“Me too, so this shouldn’t take long at all. Lexi, wanna help me in the kitchen?” I ask.
She nods and leads me to the kitchen. She looks through the cabinets and finds the spices and a bowl for the salad and tosses three potatoes in the microwave. My eyes follow her and I realize I’m doing nothing but gazing at her and if she catches me she’ll be upset. So I set to work on the steaks. “The drive was good, Lex?”
“Yeah, no big deal.” She places some spices down on the counter for me to choose from. Her arm brushes mine as she does and a fire rips right through me.
“Um,” I say as she moves away from me to make the salad. “So, what are your plans, other than work?”
“That’s all the plans I have for now, Max.” Her long, blonde curls bounce around her narrow shoulders as she pushes them back. “This dang hair is so long and always in my way when I don’t have it up.”
“It looks really beautiful like that,” I say and rub some spices into the meat.
“So I’ve been told,” she says and I see out of the corner of her eye she turns to look at me. “Sorry, I should say thank you.”
“That’s okay, Lex,” I say without looking at her. “I guess with this new modeling thing you get told nice things all the time.”
“Yeah, it was hard to get used to, but after my first monster paycheck I threw my distaste for it out the window.” She pauses. “Which reminds me that I need to trade in that ugly van. It looks like poopy parked in this nice place, plus it’s getting embarrassing pulling up to shoots in it. Do you know where I can get the best deal, Max?”
Yeah! I’ll give you a car!
“I know a guy, let me take care of it, Lex.”
“I want to pay for it myself, Max!” she says, sternly.
“Man
, Lexi, you may want to pull your panties off and put them in the freezer so you can chill out,” I say throwing her quirky remark back at her.
“What does that even mean, Max?”
I turn to her and act as if I’m about to grab her, but turn at the last second to wash my hands. “Mind turning the water on for me, babe? I need to wash my hands.”
She has to lean over me to do it. Her perky breasts rub against my chest and send fire through my veins. I hear her take in a sharp breath so I’m pretty sure she felt it too. Quickly she moves back and she grabs a paper towel and dabs at her forehead. “Is it hot in here?” she asks.
I play it cool. “Naw, not to me, princess.”
“Hmm, well, um, anyway,” she says, stumbling over her words. “What were we talking about?”
“Me helping you find a great deal on a car and getting that old van traded in.” The paper towels are behind her and I smile as I reach past her to grab one and her face pales. I pull it off and take a step back as I dry my hands.
“Women get ripped off by car dealers all the time. Let me help you to be sure you don’t, that’s all. Plus I buy so many cars from this guy, he’ll give me a great deal on something nice for you. How much do you have to spend?”
She shakes her head then looks at me with wide eyes. “Um, uh, oh my I guess…”
“There’s that stammering I love so much,” I say and turn away to grab the platter of steaks and walk away from her. Just as I get to the glass patio door I turn around and catch her with her head tilted and her face goes red.
She was checking out my ass!
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