Winter

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Winter Page 120

by Michelle Love


  “No. They’re just not all thrilled for me,” I admitted, as he gave me a dark look. “I’m sure it’s normal, and I just have a few days left, right?” I wouldn’t see Damon daily, then, and would have so much more to wonder about.

  “Sure. You’ll settle in before you know it and be telling me all kinds of stories.” Damon teased, his eyes warm on me as my heart jumped into my throat. “We’ll be rivals.”

  “Hardly,” I choked, as I dropped onto the pillow and took a deep breath. “I have years to go for that.”

  “You doubt yourself too much,” Damon reminded me, as he moved beside me and traced my stomach with his finger. “You’ll get this job, and we’ll only get better and better.”

  “I hope so.” I closed my eyes and let my body relax as sleep took me over. As uncertain as I might be about Damon at times, my body craved him, and I knew that I’d never get enough. This made me tired. “We’re exclusive, right?” The idea that we were having unprotected sex a lot lingered in my mind every time we were finished. Not that I had any worry about pregnancy, because the shot was virtually a sure thing, but I worried that he was sleeping with other women.

  “Did you ever think that we weren’t?” He asked, as I felt him kiss my hair.

  “Just curious.” He turned the light off and pulled me against him as he kissed my cheek.

  “You know you’re it for me.”

  The holidays were coming, and my new office was decorated in style as I walked through the doors to meet with Burt and fill out paperwork. The staff had thrown me a party on Friday, and I had lingered with the friends I’d made, while Damon stood on the other side of the room with his managers. We shared a few glances, but kept it to a minimum with so many people around. The food was excellent and the cake beautiful, with a champagne toast in my honor. A few of the people were going to a bar afterward, and they invited me. I glanced over at Damon. “Come on. There’s cause to celebrate.”

  “Okay. Sounds great,” I agreed as she smiled and pulled out her phone to send a text. Within an hour, things were wrapping up, and I thanked everyone for making it great there as I held my glass up high again. I left with my former team and a few others, walking to a group of bars on the corner. They were getting busy with the after-work crowd, and we blended into the crowd at the bar at the first one.

  I had a feeling to look at the door, and I saw Damon walking in with the other guys. I frowned for a moment as I turned back and accepted the round of drinks that Vince bought everybody and thanked him as we clinked our glasses together. I knew that I would keep in touch with Vince and Autumn, and I stood closest to them as she waved across the bar.

  “This is Tim, my fiancé!” I looked at the tall, dark-haired man and shook his hand as she introduced all of us. They looked good together, matching one another’s style, and he introduced a couple of friends who had come along with him.

  Dave was one and Glen the other, and they had the same alternative look that Tim did. Glen congratulated me on the promotion once he heard about it, and drew me aside to start talking about my new job. I felt eyes on me and glanced over to see Damon staring at me angrily before someone walked up to him. Brooke again. Ploy, my ass. I smiled at Glen and focused on his words, pretending that I wasn’t crazy about the man across the bar with another woman.

  The drinks were flowing, and I kept downing them as they were offered, laughing a little too hard at Glenn’s jokes. I even danced with him, crazy and free as reality left my mind, and I lived in a different world. It wasn’t until I had to pee that it hit me like a sound punch in the stomach. I did my business and walked out to feel someone grab my arm and pull me down to the end of the dark hallway.

  “What the hell?” I asked, as I looked up to see Damon dragging me. “What are you doing? Isn’t your date missing you?”

  “Date?” He asked, as he reached the end and stared down at me.

  “Brooke. I’ve seen you with her a few times, and I give up,” I yelled, as he grasped my shoulders to stop me from flailing my arms.

  “A few times?” He asked, and I nodded as I took a deep breath.

  “At work, here…and there’s all those pictures of you with her. I know that you hooked up in the past, too.” His face fell as he stared at me, and all my happy buzz turned into hard, painful emotions. “I’ve been with you all this time, wondering who else you’re with, as I’m taking chance after chance. I must be stupid.”

  “Who the fuck told you that?” Damon asked, as I stared sadly at him.

  “Is it true?” His silence told me everything. “I wish it was you. Now it looks like you were hiding something from me, and I keep seeing her. I don’t even know what I want anymore.”

  “I was a mess that day. Everything happened with the pictures from the weekend, and I knew I had to hide who you were. She was the first thought, and I didn’t want you to be worried about things, because nothing has happened between Brooke and I for years.” Damon insisted. “She is here by chance tonight, and she wanted to tell me something about my parents in the building that day. That’s it, Elisa.” His eyes darkened. “How do you explain the new guy? You look like you’re having a great time with him. Who is he?”

  “I don’t know!” I told him, as I tugged my arm away from him. I hurried through the bar and out into the streets, crying as I searched my purse for my phone to get a ride home. I had the job that I always dreamed of, but at a cost I never expected. I was in love with Damon, but too insecure and jealous to trust in him. I saw a cab and held my hand up as I ran towards it. The last thing I saw before we drove away was Damon staring at me, and I turned forward and told the driver where I lived.

  I was alone that night, and I huddled under my covers, crying. I had given him back all the devices, and my phone was shut off. I wouldn’t be hearing from him, and I hoped that he didn’t come over. I needed some space.

  Damon

  I watched Elisa drive away in the cab in shock. She was drunk, but hadn’t made any sense in there. I took a breath of the fresh, cold air before I turned and walked back into the bar. Brooke had been here by chance, and she was with her friends now. For that matter, she was dating a new guy, and didn’t even seem concerned with what I was doing. The other time had been a business call, though I’d had no idea that Elisa saw us. I wish that she would’ve brought it up, so we could talk about it before it blew up like this.

  I cast a dark look at the man that she had been dancing with, before I sat down at the table with my friends, sipping my fresh beer. He seemed to be looking around for her, and I couldn’t blame him.

  I knew that she was gone if she didn’t try to reach out to me. I knew where her apartment was, but I was going to try to resist being a caveman and dragging her out of it and back to my place where she belonged. Fuck, I wanted to ask her to move in with me, and we’d set her mom up somewhere close by, tonight of all times. I didn’t see any reason to hide our relationship, now that she had her new job.

  I drank myself into oblivion before calling Mark for a ride home. I called Elisa several times in the car, getting her voice mail every time. “Damn it.”

  “What’s wrong?” Mark asked, as he glanced at me in the mirror.

  “The past is coming back to haunt me, Mark. I didn’t tell her everything that I should have, and it’s the one thing I got in trouble with.”

  “Can you fix it?” Mark asked, as I frowned.

  “Maybe. I can get roses again and have them delivered. I could try to get her to talk to me.” I wasn’t sure what to do. This was all new to me. I was supposed to be going home with her after the celebration over her promotion. It was nice to see her smiling and so happy about the catered work party, looking beautiful in a paisley wrap dress and black heels. I was going to ask her to move in in front of the fire in my room, when I told her how much I loved her.

  Now, that was gone.

  “I tried to save my marriage before things went south. I took her to the coast, got a great hotel, and took her to dinne
r. It worked for a while, but we were too far gone. Arrange a weekend away.”

  That reminded me of our trip before, and I considered the idea. We could stay a couple of nights and make a longer trip of it.

  “I don’t think you’re that bad off, since you’ve been seeing so much of her. I just think you fucked up a bit. I learned that communication was everything when I got divorced, and I’d advise you to learn from it.”

  “Yeah. I see your point,” I told him, as he pulled up to the curb. I got out and went upstairs, feeling drunk and empty as I took off my clothes and fell into bed.

  I called Mom and Kenneth the following morning, arranging to meet them for dinner that night since they were home. We met at a steakhouse and I sat across from them as Kenneth watched Mom get her jacket off with a warm gaze. “How are things at the office?” Kenneth asked, once we had our drinks in front of us and orders were placed.

  “Going well. There are a few new clients, and the earnings are coming in.” Kenneth still got a good chunk of that, and he nodded with a pleased expression.

  “Did you get any good interns this round?” Mom asked, as my face fell. “Damon?”

  “Yeah, we did. One of them just got hired full-time by Burt.” Damon sipped his whiskey and nodded. “She’s great.”

  “She’s moving up fast. What is her position there?” Kenneth asked, as mom searched my face with a knowing gaze.

  “His assistant. She was with Brent’s team and helped me a bit here and there as well,” I replied, as I took a long sip of my own whiskey. “She’s graduating from MIT in a year.”

  “I think she sounds like the perfect addition for Burt. You guys always get the cream of the crop with the annual internship program.” We ate as our entrees came, and mom pressed the napkin to her lips as Kenneth excused himself to use the bathroom.

  “When did you realize that you’d fallen for her?” Her eyes sparkled at me, exact copies of mine.

  “Recently, when I messed up. I was trying to fight it, but, Mom, she’s addicting. Compassionate, beautiful, intelligent, and she’s stubborn as a damn mule. She wants the world.” I shrugged and looked at her.

  “Isn’t that better than the empty women who only wanted you for your money?” Mom asked. “Speaking of which, I’d be thrilled if you stopped doing photo ops with Brooke. I adore her parents, but she’s not the woman I want as a daughter-in-law.”

  “Not even close. I was dodging some rumors,” I told her, as she giggled.

  “The woman on the beach? I saw those. That was the intern?”

  “It was.”

  Kenneth returned, and sat down, glancing between us.

  “What’s your mother worried about now?”

  “Damon found a woman,” she said, as I scowled. “He fell for one of the interns.”

  “I dated her while she worked there. I didn’t intend for that to happen, but it did. I thought when she moved across the street, we could start fresh. She just…I think she thinks my past is too much.”

  They both laughed. “It is,” Mom said, as Kenneth kissed her hair. “If I got over all the trouble this man got into, there’s hope for you. Woo her. Show her what a great man you are.”

  I went home that night thinking about what she said. I knew that I was in love with Elisa, and that there was nobody else for me. I needed to tell her that. I asked Mark for some advice as we drove, smiling at his romantic ideas.

  I did some work on my plan over the weekend, setting up reservations for the following weekend at the same place we had stayed in Cape Cod. I asked for the most romantic room they had and a lot of additions to get my plan in motion. I made a couple of reservations at good places, leaving time to do what we wanted on a whim.

  The rest could wait until I was going to surprise Elisa, and I dropped into bed, staring at the ceiling as I hoped that it worked.

  Work wasn’t the same without Elisa there. I missed her being in my office with her beautiful smile and laugh, and I stared at her number on my phone. I wasn’t going to call her yet.

  Elisa

  The new office was merely a smaller version of Elkus Manfredi, but it was still new to me. I reported to duty with Burt, wearing a new black pencil skirt, a white shirt, and the shoes that would always remind me of Damon.

  I missed him more than I wanted to admit, but I was drunk and foolish at the bar that night. I’d made an excuse that I drank too much to Vince and Autumn and left because I felt sick, since only Damon saw me run out and jump into the cab like the chicken that I was.

  Burt was kind and gave me the same devices as Damon, showing me the way he did things with patience and kindness. He remarked at how quickly I picked things up a few times, and I always credited Damon and Brent. Burt was surprised that I’d worked so closely with Damon, since it wasn’t mentioned over the phone. “Really?” I asked, as I looked at him.

  “All Damon did was say that you seemed to be doing well and sent me your resume. It was Brent’s recommendation that got me, and your school record. That’s impressive, with your grades and skills,” Burt assured me.

  I felt a little bad as I left that night, tired and emotionally drained. I went and showered, pulling on my pajamas, and going right to bed. Damon didn’t set me up with my job, like I’d thought. He threw my name out there, but I earned it with my hard work, and I sighed. I picked up my phone, making sure that my alarms were set, and found his number. I considered calling him, but my mind was mush. I needed to figure out what to say.

  It was suddenly Thursday, and I was ready for the weekend. I sat at my desk at lunch and stared at my phone again, then looked across the street to Damon’s building. The more time that passed, the sillier it seemed to make the call. I put my phone down and tore my sandwich into pieces as I berated myself for getting so drunk that night. I’d had lunch with Vince and Autumn yesterday, and they went on about their new project, making me miss that part of my internship. I knew that I’d be doing it soon, but for now, Burt was training me on assistant duties. I went back to my office with a forced smile and confidence for my future, staring blankly at my phone as I thought about Damon. I didn’t dare ask them about him, because I didn’t want to blow his cover.

  I left the office on Thursday, glum, and looking forward to the weekend. I glanced up as someone handed me a rose, confused. Another person did the same thing, a stranger that I didn’t know. What was going on? I stepped forward, receiving a few more until I saw Damon holding a big bouquet in his arms. “What are you doing?”

  “I am trying to woo you,” he replied, as I smiled. “Is it working?”

  “It’s creative. I liked getting these,” I told him, holding up the loose roses. “I’ve been wanting to call you. I didn’t. I felt like an idiot for that night.”

  “I know what I did wrong. It made sense to hide that at the time, but looking back, I know it was a mistake.” He looked in my face, searching for something. “I missed you. I was hoping that we could have dinner tonight and discuss something.”

  I looked around. It didn’t matter if we were seen, because we didn’t work together. There would be rumors, but they didn’t matter. I just wanted to know Damon and everything that scared me about him. I wanted to make an informed decision about love, now that I was laying the groundwork for the rest of my life. “Yes, I’d like that. Where would you like to go?”

  He took my hand, still holding my flowers in his arm. A few people looked at us with smiles as we walked to an Italian place a few blocks away. Once we were seated, we stared at each other until the waitress brought our wine.

  He held his glass up once it was there. “To us.” I clinked it and smiled as he looked into my eyes.

  “I am sorry that I flew off the handle, Damon. I should have just asked about her, like I should have asked about a lot of things.”

  Over dinner, we talked about the women in his past. He explained that he’d had wild times and made some mistakes, but that was over now. He knew that he wanted to be with me. I told him tha
t I felt the same, and we fell silent for a moment.

  “I want to take you back to the coast tomorrow night. I have a reservation for two nights, and we can really explore the area” He told me when we left the restaurant. “I need to get out of the city.”

  “I think that I do as well.” He asked me to come over and I agreed. We walked together, and he asked me about the job. I told him that it was confusing and that I still felt lost, even though Burt told me that I was doing well. Damon assured me that I was. All new jobs started out that way, but I’d settle in and feel like I was home. That was another reason that he planned the trip for me, and I smiled as he unlocked his door.

  I walked into more roses and gasped as I looked around. “I figured you didn’t have a new place yet, so I thought that we’d keep them here.” Damon looked at me. “How is that going?”

  “I stayed when things fell through. I knew that you would let me have that apartment, but I figured I’d find something of my own after the new year.” I smiled. “My roomie, Melody, might go in on something with me. She hates it there as well.” His face seemed to fall, and I stared at him. “What? She’s nice. I promise.”

  “I just want some alone time with you. That’s all.” He pouted, and I stepped closer to him, taking a deep breath. Words couldn’t describe how much I had missed Damon, but I hoped my eyes did as I gazed into his face. I cupped his face and smiled as I pushed up on my toes.

  “You’ll have a lot, no matter what.” I brushed my lips against his slowly as he inhaled, sliding his hands over my waist. “You consume me.” I kissed him in between sentences. “I can’t stop thinking about you.” Another kiss. “I don’t want to be without you.” I gave him a last gentle kiss. “I don’t want to worry about stupid shit.” The next kiss was hungry, and he pulled me closer as he deepened the kiss eagerly.

  “Is it bad to have sex before we go away?” He asked, as I giggled and wrapped my legs around him.

  “No, it’s perfect. I can’t wait,” I told him, as he carried me up the stairs to his bedroom. I didn’t ask why we weren’t in the other room. He stripped me roughly and kissed me hard. He kissed every inch of my body slowly, edging me closer to a release before he’d pull away. I begged him to take me in a hoarse voice, as frustration filled me, finally weeping when he settled between my legs and sucked on my pussy.

 

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