My hurt and anguish spin in an instant as I realize I am furious at Ryker. I head back out of the bathroom and grab my cell out of my purse and call him.
It rings four times before he answers it, “Gia.”
“Ryker, why did you go and find another woman?”
“I’m a free man, Gia. Is that all you wanted to know?”
“How can you judge me? You’re a whore, yourself!”
“I’m not taking anyone’s money in exchange for anything of a sexual nature. If you don’t like being called that, simply stop being one, Gia. Shit!”
“Did you fuck her?” I ask and can’t breathe while I wait for his answer.
“That’s none of your business. I have a lunch meeting with your man. I need to get where I’m going. And just a note for future reference, when I have business with Damien, I’d rather not see you.”
“Ryker, you have no right to be like this! I’m nothing to you. You can’t treat me this way!” I scream at him.
“You know something, Gia,” he says, “You can manage to bring up an anger in you where I’m concerned but not where Damien is concerned. You should really think about that. Why do you suppose that is?”
“Because I love you and I don’t love him, Ryker,” I say and then end the call and throw the phone at the wall, busting it. “I love you! Damn it!”
Running to the bed, I throw myself on it, face first and cry like I’ve never cried before. I’ve never been this messed up over anyone or thing. Not even when I didn’t get asked to my high school prom and that was a real boohoo-fest.
I cry until I can’t anymore then I lie still as I think about what the hell I just did. Stone cold sober, I just made a huge-ass mistake of epic proportions.
I told Ryker that I loved him!
I’ve gone crazy, that’s what’s happened to me. I’m insane. Clearly!
Ryker is going to meet with Damien and I know he’ll tell him what I said. I know he will. He’s that kind of guy who will do that just to split me and Damien up. And he’ll state that he did it for my own good.
I know he will!
I need to tell Damien first. That’s what I need to do. But I broke my damn phone. Looking around the room, I see the hotel land line and pick up the phone. It’s been forever since I used one of these and I have to really think to remember what Damien’s cell number is. I finally remember it and call him.
He answers on the first ring, “Hello?”
“Damien, it’s me, Gia.”
“Why are you calling me from this number? Where is your phone?”
“I broke it. I tripped and it flew out of my hand and hit the…” I stop lying and think about what I’m going to say. “That’s a lie. I threw it at the wall. I’ve done something stupid, Damien.”
I hear a voice in the background say, “Is that Gia?”
“Is that Ryker?” I ask him.
“Yes, he just walked in. Why did you throw your phone at the wall and break it, Gia?”
“I’ll tell you why,” I hear Ryker say and I fall to my knees.
“Gia, why does Ryker know why you would throw your phone?” he asks me with a stern tone.
“I don’t know what to say, Damien. This should be discussed between you and I. Tell him not to talk about it,” I say and hope Ryker will do what Damien asks him to.
“I should let him tell me, Gia. Goodbye.” He ends the call and my hope of telling him before Ryker does.
An odd sensation washes over me, fear mixed with relief. Damien will end this thing we have. I won’t be looked at by my family quite the same way anymore. Their worlds will be turned upside down, as will mine.
Dad will have to scramble to get the farm going again. I have no idea what my sisters’ spoiled husbands will do to make money. I won’t have the option of working for Apollo Engineering any longer.
Getting up, I go and get my purse to look inside of it. I find my wallet and see all I have to my name is two hundred dollars. I’m broke. I have no place to go and no way to get anywhere anyway.
My eyes go to the vodka on the table and I make my way to it. Filling a small, clear, plastic cup, I sit in a chair at the table and try to think about what my next step will be.
I’ve never felt more alone. Abandoned.
It occurs to me that I should just leave before Damien gets back and we have one ugly scene. I need to pack and go. But to where?
My family is in Nebraska. So far away.
Why did I do it? Why did I say those words to him? Why would I sabotage myself this way?
I’ve never made bigger mistakes. I’ve always calculated my plans and actions and this time I went off without thinking and I’ve cost me and my family everything.
The vodka burns as it goes down my throat. Then the pain of it ebbs and I begin to feel a bit numb. I want this feeling. I don’t want to feel a thing anymore.
I don’t want to feel unloved anymore. I don’t want to feel used anymore. I don’t want to feel anything anymore.
How could I have gone and screwed up so badly?
Part 4 - The Concerned
RYKER
My temper flares at Damien, who seems unmoved by what I’ve just told him about Gia. “Did you hear me?” I ask him. “She loves me, Damien. Has she ever told you that?”
“That’s none of your business, Ryker. The fact is, she belongs to me. I have no idea what’s going through her mind right now. I’d imagine you threw yourself at her, flirted with abandonment, and cajoled her into thinking she has feelings for you. Her life, for now anyway, is with me. She knows that,” he tells me then sets his briefcase on the small table in a private section of the restaurant we’re having our meeting at.
His blatant disregard for Gia’s feelings is anything but okay with me. “You speak as if you own her, this is the second time you’ve said something like that. You do realize I can pay her too, don’t you?”
His laugh is making me even angrier at him as he says, “She knows I will provide. Where you are concerned, I doubt she believes in you enough to take that chance.”
“You’ve turned her into nothing more than a prostitute, Damien. How can you justify doing that to a woman of her intelligence?”
His icy eyes narrow at me as he says, “And you have just said you would do the same thing to her. Offer her money to take care of her family. So, tell me again how I’m a terrible person and you’re not.”
“I said I could pay her, I never said I would. For a moment in time, I contemplated it and even offered that to her. But since then I have taken that offer off the table. I wouldn’t hand her one dime. But I would offer her a job. One that pays her what she’s worth and not a penny more. You see, she needs to learn her self-worth. You took that away from her when you pulled her into your life, her and her family. You surrounded her with all you think she and they will ever need and you did it for your own selfish reasons. Love not being one of them.”
He looks at me with a lack-luster expression that tells me he’s not worried one damn bit about me as a rival. “You tell me why she’d leave me for you then. If you don’t plan on giving her all I have, then why would she put her family in that precarious position, Ryker? The answer is, she won’t.”
“You have her bound to you and it’s unhealthy for her.” I take a seat across the table from him where he’s taken one and try to get into his head. He has to have a soul in there somewhere, so I push the parent button, he doesn’t know that I know he has. “If you had a child and someone was crippling them the way you have done to Gia and her family, what would you do?”
“I don’t think of what I’m doing as crippling anyone. I have a vast amount of money that will be left here when I go to Mars. Someone should have it. And she is my companion in the meantime. I offered to marry her, did she tell you that?”
“She did and she told me she wouldn’t be marrying you,” I let him know. “Did she tell you that?”
He looks away for only a moment, letting me know she did not tell him th
at. “She hasn’t told me one way or the other. It matters not. It’s a thing I was doing to make her feel more secure. Did she tell you that I told her I love her?” His eyes cut to mine with a curious expression filling his face.
I nod. “And she told me she did not tell you those words in return. She does not love you, Damien. She is in love with me. Yet, you want to keep her. You want to keep her dependent on you. And you expect me to sit back and accept it all.”
“If she wants to leave me, she can. I won’t stop her. If that’s what you mean. But when she finds you offer her nothing, I don’t see that happening. Do you?” he asks then opens his briefcase and pulls out a ton of papers. “Here is the contract for manufacturing the boosters. This is the real reason for our meeting this afternoon. Gia was never on the agenda.”
Tapping my finger on the table, I pull the contract over and begin to read it. I have to let this thing with Gia go. He’s right, she won’t leave him for me. Not when I will refuse to hand her or her family a damn thing. It’s not that I can’t, it’s that it’s not good for any of them.”
“My lawyer will have to read this first before I sign it. I’ll take it home with me and read over it then get it to him and then back to you. You will be leaving at the end of the week, right?” I ask him.
“Yes, on Sunday. Can you get it back to me by then or will I need to extend my visit?”
“I’ll have it to you. But I want you to know that I’ll be sending Gia a formal letter, asking her to join my team and work for Apollo Engineering as a food engineer. She will have this week to make a decision about taking the job or not. And I will not be talking to her on my own. I want her to know she has other avenues she can choose, without sex being a part of it.”
His eyes close as his face goes red and now it seems I’ve made him angry. My offer must be a thing he’s worried she will accept. When his eyes open, his color has returned to normal and his words come out clean and crisp, “Do what you want.”
With a nod, I open my briefcase and put the vast amount of paperwork the contract consists of into it and close it. “Thank you for allowing me to treat Gia like a fellow human being, Damien.”
“Sarcasm is not a thing you wear well, Ryker. You and I both know she won’t take the job. She has no place to stay. The money my company paid for her invention was spent long ago. Her only money is the small amount of cash I have given her. She has no car, no home, and no way to put a roof over her head to stay here. And if you offer her those things, then it will be you who is taking care of her the way you are accusing me of doing. It will be you who makes her your prostitute. I don’t look at her in that light. Gia means more to me than that. You wouldn’t understand, though.”
“People helping people?” I ask him as I get up to leave, tired of him and this conversation. “I suppose that’s how you think of what you’re doing.”
“It is. We’re here to help one another. I can help her and her whole family. She can help me with mine. It’s a win-win. We enjoy each other’s company and we enjoy having sex with one another. Another win-win. I can see you enjoy digging into her. You enjoy watching her squirm with your flattery and flirting. But you offer nothing deep, the way I do. You offer her no security, the way I do. You only offer her cheap sex and a job. Go ahead, make her your offer, Ryker. I’m sure your heart won’t be broken when she turns the offer down. You do have other women who tend to your needs, after all. Your heart isn’t in Gia’s hands.”
“Your heart isn’t in her hands, either.” I watch him as he blinks a few times as he realizes he doesn’t have anything more than a financial hold on her. “And apparently, I hold her heart in the palm of my hand. What should I do with it, I wonder?”
Leaving the room, before he can say another word, I find him coming up behind me at a fast pace. “Get in touch with me as soon as you have the contract signed.”
I nod and he walks faster to get ahead of me. He seems to be in a hurry to get somewhere. Back to his hotel room, no doubt. Back to work on Gia’s head, so she won’t want my offer.
It wasn’t my plan to make her one. But his actions and words had me thinking she needs to know she has other things she can do. But the problem of not being able to give her a place to live and upfront money is an issue I didn’t foresee. But then again, the woman is smart and I’d assume she’s resourceful when she needs to be.
All I can do is put the ball in her court, I can’t make her hit it!
GIA
My body being shaken, has me waking from my drunken slumber. I have no idea how much vodka I drank but I drank it until I passed out. “Gia! What have you done?” Damien shouts at me as I find it’s him who is shaking me.
“Damien,” I mumble as I’m still drunk. “I’m sorry.” I start crying again.
He wraps me in his strong arms and holds me tight. “I didn’t know you’d take this all so hard. I really didn’t. I had hoped you could cope with it all. I hoped you and I were close enough for you to handle my real life. Was I wrong, Gia? Are not strong enough to handle this?”
“Strong?” I ask then hiccup.
Pulling back, he looks at me and nods. “I know you’re a strong person. That’s what first attracted me to you. I thought you’d understand what it is I have to do to make sure my son has me in his life.”
“You aren’t mad at me?” I ask him as I was sure he’d show up and tell me to get the hell out.
“I’m not happy with you, right now. I mean, you’ve obviously been seeing Ryker behind my back. But you can stop doing that, can’t you? He’s just a playboy. He’s not ever going to be the kind of man you need. The kind of man who offers you a lifetime of security for you and your family.”
“What did he tell you?” I ask as my stomach feels terrible and I hold back a wretch as my tears stop falling.
“He told me that you told him you loved him.” His eyes pierce mine. “Now, I know you don’t really love him. You might like the attention he’s been pouring on you. The flirting, the flattering. I know, you and I, don’t do that. We’re beyond that point in our relationship.”
“A relationship that’s going nowhere,” I say then burp. “I think I need to get up and throw up.”
He helps me off the bed and holds me tight to his side, taking me to the bathroom. Grabbing a rubber band off the vanity counter top, he pulls my hair back into a high ponytail. “Now you won’t get anything in your hair. Should I leave you?”
I nod and he goes out of the bathroom, closing the door behind him. Getting on my knees in front of the toilet, I let it all come up. I don’t know what I was thinking with drowning myself in alcohol. It didn’t solve a thing and now it seems Damien isn’t tossing me away like the rubbish I feel like I am.
When I get it all out, I wash my face, brush my teeth and go back to find him watching television. He smiles as I come out and pats the place on the sofa next to him.
Taking the seat, he’s offered, he puts his arm around my shoulders and pulls me closer, giving my cheek a kiss. “Do you feel any better?”
“Not really. How can you be okay with what I did, Damien?”
“For the same reason, you will become okay with what I did.”
“Do,” I correct him. “You’re still doing it.”
“For my son, Gia. Only for him,” he reminds me of how noble he is.
Leaning my head on his shoulder, I think about what I should do. I was set to run away from them both. Instead, I drank myself into oblivion and stayed right where I’ve been the last three years. Dependent on Damien and still on board with being his companion until he leaves Earth.
Only now, I know he has other obligations he’s been worried about and I also have the knowledge I am not the only woman he’s sharing a bed with. Somehow, I think this should hurt worse than it does.
I’m hurt by it but I don’t feel the stab of jealousy I did when I found out Ryker went out with another woman. I saw red and went out of my mind over that.
“That man knows how to
work women up into a sexual frenzy. He’s a master at it. He did that to you. I don’t blame you. I blame him. But if you continue to allow him to talk to you in such a way then I will blame you,” he tells me as he strokes my arm with his fingertip. “He will never do the things I do for you. He may say he loves you but I show you that I do.”
“And for that, I haven’t even returned those words to you.” I think about that for a moment then pull my head off his shoulder to look at him. “Does it hurt you that I care for you but I don’t love you?”
“It should hurt worse than it does. When Ryker told me that you told him those words, I was a bit taken aback. But then I thought about it and I believe you merely said those words in a fit of retaliation. My news hurt you worse than you want to admit. You haven’t known that man long enough to know if you love him or not. And I can tell you now, he’s shallow and not a person you can count on. He’s all talk and his only actions would be sexual. You’re better than that and smarter.”
“I am, aren’t I?” I ask him as I search his eyes for the truth. “That news did mess me up. And I did a stupid thing and now that I think about it, it was because I wanted to let you feel what it feels like. But I don’t need to do that to myself. I need to make this situation work.”
“Do you trust me to do what I’ve told you I will for you and your family, Gia?” he asks me as he squeezes my shoulders.
“I do.”
“Do you feel like you are selling yourself to me, the way Ryker says he thinks you are?”
“Do you?” I ask as I bite my lip.
He shakes his head. “I do not feel that way.”
“I never did, until he threw that at me. He thinks I’m a whore, a paid whore, Damien. He told me that to my face.”
“He’s wrong. You and I know we are much more to one another than something that simple. And now I think you and I need to make this thing even deeper. I want you to meet Svetlana and Friedrich. I want us to be more like a little family. I would have much more time with my son if we could figure out a way for her to be incorporated into our lives.”
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