by Janie Marie
“She welcomed him with open arms the minute he showed up. He knew she pushed us away, and he knew we were going to either fight or work together to win her back. He’s smart.” At least Ryder didn’t sound happy. “It might take her a while to make up her mind. I’m just saying, even if I know I’m capable of being amazing for her, I can handle her wanting more than me. I understand her—it’s not that I’m not enough.”
“Then what is it?” David hated this. He thought Jane was perfect for him. She was perfect for him, and he thought he was everything she needed. Then again, he’d changed things for her by trying to protect her, by not talking to her or letting her decide anything. Then he’d broken her with his stupidity.
“I’m sure you’ll figure it out when you’re finally with her. It was a quickie in the car, but it was like seeing God.” Ryder got the same faraway look he had when he first confronted David that morning.
“I get it, she felt like Heaven,” David snapped, hating that Ryder got to have that experience with Jane. “I should’ve been first.” David started tying his pants together, grunting because his fucking hand was hurting.
Ryder laughed hard. “Bitch, you’re asking to get your face broken. You knew you’d hate yourself and not deserve her. Well, you got your wish. I got mine.”
David closed his eyes. Ryder was right. He knew all along there was no moving on from her; she was the one for him. He’d done what he knew would make him unworthy of her so she could be free of him.
“Cheer up, fucker, you got her first kiss. You need to stop acting like we’re five again: ‘I saw her first’.”
Finally, David smiled. Five was really young to feel love for someone besides your family, but when he’d seen Jane for the first time, awareness of there being a girl he wanted to love had been instant for him. For all of them.
They’d been outside playing football when Jane’s family moved into the house between theirs. Ryder insisted he’d seen her first, but David was sure he did because she looked into his eyes before even seeing the others beside him, and her cheeks had flushed before she stuck up her little nose and walked to her dad. Her dad had given them all glares that had them ready to shit themselves, but he’d seen the challenge from David and laughed before carrying Jane up to her new room.
“Mr. Mortaime gave her a view of me,” Ryder said smugly. “He picked me for her. He knew I was her match.”
David threw him a sour look. Her dad had indeed selected Ryder, and Jane had no idea. She didn’t know her dad had sat Ryder, Tercero, Luc, and him down the night before he’d gotten into his accident. It was like he knew he wasn’t going to be there, and he told them, “My little girl likes all of you. I don’t want you fighting over her. I expect each of you to protect her, treat her like treasure.” He’d paused to stare at Tercero for that. “You treat her like a queen, even if she’s a feisty little princess,” with that he’d stared at Luc. Then he’d looked between him and Ryder.
Her dad’s eyes were a lighter hazel than Jane’s. Where hers looked like you were staring at the sun mixing with the earth, his looked like the ocean as it touched a fading sunset.
He’d smiled at both of them, then told David, “You make sure she always knows what she’s meant to be, that she’s right where she belongs. Loved. Warm. Home.”
Then he touched Ryder’s shoulder, staring into his eyes like he was checking for something. Whatever it was, he’d found it because he smiled and said, “You protect her from everything, even herself. You show her when she’s lost that she can find her way home, but you never let her go through it alone. Even if she doesn’t know it, you are with her until the end. You keep her. Understand, boy?”
It was like Ryder knew he could be the strongest. He nodded to Mr. Mortaime, and he had said, “I’ll keep her.”
“How often do you think about that night with her dad?” David asked, wrapping his hand.
“Every night before I peek up at her window. She does little stretches and gives me a nice view of that perfect ass of hers.” Ryder smirked when David turned to him.
“And that’s why I pull her fucking curtains shut every night.” David shook his head. “She probably leaves them open for you.”
“She likes to tease me.” Ryder checked his phone again, sighing. “Don’t be jealous. I’m sure you see plenty I never get to know about. You’re the one who fucked everything up.”
David wasn’t jealous. He was struggling with his possessiveness and acceptance. Jane had been his. She’d chosen to befriend him out of all the others.
No, that was a lie. She’d been loyal to him after Ryder and the others returned from Europe. It had felt like a gift that he’d gotten to have her all to himself, but then the Godsons were back, and Ryder hadn’t forgotten her.
His rival tried to get her attention, and David had seen it—she was still drawn to the fucker, and Ryder was going to show Jane he was good for her, that he was just as strong and able to protect her.
But his baby was loyal. When David got upset, she chose to see Ryder’s attempts as attacks against him, and the rift in their friendship widened, making them enemies. And it all came down to Jane wanting to be loved and not alone. She’d lost her family because even with a mom, she didn’t have her dad, and her dad made them whole. She told David as they watched the Godsons drive away that she wished everyone she cared for could stay with her. He had ignored that she already felt something with Ryder, and she was losing someone again, so she fought to hold onto David, afraid to lose him.
“I’m sorry I kept her to myself,” David told Ryder. “I was jealous when her dad picked you. I loved her already, and I knew I could make her happy. There’s no one else for me, Ryder. She’s it for me, always has been. When my dad and her mom . . . I just didn’t want her to suffer. I didn’t want to rip our family apart. I tried to let her go, but I couldn't. I don’t even think I can pretend with any other girls now that I’ve let it all out. But I want her to be happy.”
Ryder watched him with that unnerving emptiness that scared everyone. “You need to tell her this.”
“I want to.” David breathed out; relieved Ryder wasn’t just making him feel worse. “If you take her away like you can, I-I—”
“Save the ‘I can’t live without her’ speech. The sad puppy dog eyes you make when she looks at me say enough, and I don’t feel like hearing it.” Ryder sighed loudly. “I’m not going to take her away. It’s whatever she wants. No fighting for her, no lies. I’m perfect for her, but I’m not ripping away her choice.”
“Luc is going to steal her.”
“I’ll destroy him if he takes one step away with her.” Ryder grinned confidently. “Don’t worry about him anyway—she can’t live without me. She’s just figuring that out.”
David straightened as fear and anger shot down his spine. “I’ll make everything up to her.”
“Then do it, fucker.” Ryder quieted when noises from the other players and coaches coming filled the locker room.
Before David could switch his focus to the upcoming game, his phone vibrated. His pulse hummed in his ears because it was a text from Tercero, and the way Ryder was staring at his phone, he’d gotten a message as well.
They both looked at each other and then opened the picture.
“Hot damn.” Ryder yanked David’s phone before he could fully take it in. “Just seeing if he sent the same photo.”
David snatched it back, and he smiled. It was like the universe had forgiven him. All his hopes and dreams with her didn’t seem impossible anymore, because his beautiful girl was right there—on his bed, wearing his jersey in just a pair of her favorite knee-high socks and nothing else.
It was the sexiest thing he’d ever seen, but she’d made it tasteful. Or, he guessed Tercero had made sure she wasn’t totally exposed. Her legs were together and tilted to the side, showing off the side of her bare ass.
“I’m actually glad we had him take the photo.” Ryder rearranged himself. “He took a photography class last ye
ar, and he’s all artistic. She listened to him about me—no panties. That means I’m in with you.”
David noticed, and he knew it meant Jane was choosing all of them right now. It hurt, but he hadn’t expected her to drop Ryder.
“Fuck, she’s a goddess,” Ryder whispered.
She really was, and David couldn’t take his eyes off her. Tercero had arranged her hair, spread out in a way that made her look like a fallen angel, and her eyes—she made sure he knew this was for him and Ryder. “He’s standing on my bed. He better be dressed.”
“He wouldn’t do that,” Ryder said, texting something back. “He said they didn’t fuck, but she’s satisfied. Lucky bastard probably ate her out.”
All sorts of violent thoughts rose, but David tried to control himself. He’d told Tercero to take care of her, and he should be proud, focusing on the fact that she knew he’d been the one to make this happen, to make sure she was satisfied. David wanted to talk to her alone, but he knew he’d have no privacy with players filling in now. “I’m fucking surprised she’d let him do that. I think about that all the time with her, but she’s always so sweet—I can’t—”
“You think she doesn’t have dirty wishes?” Ryder chuckled. “She’s always reading naughty books. She definitely fantasizes about it, and we let her have it.”
David sighed, realizing Ryder was right again. Jane wasn’t a prude, but she’d been something almost sacred to him, and so he’d told himself it was wrong to think about the things he wanted to do to her, that she became even more untouchable and pure. She became something no one should taint, even though he wanted to do everything with her. “What are you telling him?” he asked instead of blurting out more personal stuff.
“Told him to ask her if she’s ready for all of us.” Ryder dodged the punch David threw. “Careful, you’re already hurt. Coach is gonna baby your ass if he sees it.”
David didn’t give a damn about his hand or the coach. He sent Jane a text, well aware Ryder’s focus was now him doing the same. There were so many things he wanted to say, but it didn’t feel right to do it in a text: Beautiful, baby. I promise we’ll talk tonight.
Ryder leaned closer, peeking at his phone. “Say something better than that. She wants dirty talk right now. Show her you’re not a scared bitch, and you want her just like this—all sexy. Or she’s gonna be embarrassed for trying.”
“I want every version of her, but I want to talk to her in person.”
“No, you’re afraid she’s not going to handle the dirty shit you want.” Ryder smirked, and David knew it was because Ryder had had a taste of Jane’s wild side. “Trust me, she wants all of it.”
David was still unsure, but he didn’t have time to discuss it more. He lowered his voice and locked his screen as Lance walked toward him. “Don’t you dare show her to anyone else.”
Instead of joking, Ryder gave him a serious nod. “She’s ours.”
It was strange, but David liked the sound of that.
The coaches started talking about the game, David felt his phone vibrate again.
My Jane: Kickass for me tonight.
His heart was soaring. This was Jane: the loyal, foul-mouthed, sweet girl with the most forgiving heart there ever was. Kinda don’t care about the game now.
My Jane: Is my David having dirty thoughts about me?
Ryder was right—she wanted dirty, and she needed to be reassured she wasn’t making a fool of herself. She was learning everything for the first time, and he was going to make sure she knew he was there for it now. Always, he replied, smiling because he realized she’d called him ‘her David’. Did you read my letters?
My Jane: Yes.
My Jane: You broke my heart
My Jane: But you showed me you’re still my David.
David wanted to wrap his arms around her and beg her to forgive him. I’ll always be your David. I should’ve talked to you. I should’ve made sure you knew that would never change.
My Jane: You can talk to me about it later.
Promise?
My Jane: Promise.
He knew she was probably more in the moment she’d had with Tercero. She wanted to feel sexy, to know it really was her he was thinking about: He leave yet?
My Jane: Yeah. But I’m still in your bed.
My Jane: Kinda wanted to replay what he relayed from you in the closest place I can get to you.
Blood rushed to his dick because she sent him a selfie. She was blowing him a kiss. It was sexy, but he needed to know something: Are you sending this just to me? Or Ryder as well?
My Jane: He’s texting me, but I told him to wait.
My Jane: These photos.
My Jane: What I’m doing and thinking of.
My Jane: It’s all for you.
His male pride roared with her next photo. She was still on his bed, and her hand was between her legs. He darted his gaze to Ryder, seeing his rival glaring at him, and now David smirked.
Ryder’s eyes narrowed as he mouthed, ‘I’ll kill you.’
David flipped him off and replied to Jane: Baby, you’re begging to be thoroughly fucked.
My Jane: I love it when you talk all proper.
He chuckled because she seemed to be forgetting he’d written ‘fucked’. Maybe Jane liked proper and dirty. Did you come?
My Jane: Not yet.
Another picture of her, still touching herself, but she looked close. Damn, she must be using a selfie stick because he had a good view.
Maybe he could be the alpha out of the three of them: Come, Jane. Now.
My Jane: I’m coming, David.
She sent a series of photos that time, her pretty mouth open, her legs definitely trembling, and the final photo of her showing the evidence on her fingers.
He had no idea when she got so confident and brave, but he was the luckiest guy in the world.
David sent her another text: Taste yourself.
There was another photo: her sucking her sex-coated fingers.
That’s my beautiful Jane
My Jane: Next time you taste me yourself.
My Jane: Then I’m tasting you.
He released a harsh breath, earning a questioning look from Lance and a snicker from Ryder, but he ignored them both: Baby, I’m about to get kicked off the team.
She didn’t text back, and he worried he’d said the wrong thing, but he breathed out seeing she’d sent another text.
My Jane: Then you can be on my team.
My Jane: We don’t wear clothes.
Then she sent a picture of herself in front of a full-length mirror in her room, his jersey on the floor by her feet, a hand covering between her legs and his football doing a poor job hiding her breasts.
“Fuck,” he said, aloud.
The head coach raised his voice, “Something more important than your first game as Mike, Leodegrance?”
David knew better than to say, ‘his girl was’, but he lowered his phone and apologized as Ryder nudged him, whispering, “I got her.”
It frustrated him that he had to let Ryder take over, but he reminded himself that Jane had wished him a good game, told him to kick ass for her. So, he breathed out, focusing on the coach and prepared for the game he really didn’t care about, other than looking good for Jane. He had time to apologize, and he had time to come to terms with the fact that Jane had been with Ryder, that she might not be willing to walk away from Ryder.
His heart was still broken about it, but in a way, he was glad Ryder had been the one she’d gone to. She’d gone to a guy who really cared about her. She’d been upfront about her feelings and while a part of her choice was because of her hurt, she’d chosen Ryder because of something special between them. Now, he just had to make her see he could still have something special with her.
It still stung she’d given herself to Ryder, especially her first time, but it was better than the shit he’d done. He’d fucked Diane for his first. Everything he should’ve done with Jane, he’d messed up and waste
d it on random girls and Diane. It was sickening him, infuriating him, at how fucking insane his plan had been. He had lost himself by cutting Jane out of his life. She was his strength and goodness, and he wasn’t himself without her.
All he could do now was be a man, face the consequences of his actions, prove to her and himself that he was her David, and he wasn’t going to fuck up this chance. It was time to show her she could come home to him. No matter what, he’d love her and accept her for who she was. In order to do that, he had to fix more than just his relationship with her; he’d have to fix things with Ryder.
They’d been friends, almost brothers, and he’d screwed his friend over by not stepping aside for him.
A jolt of pain in his hand had him wincing, but it was nothing when he had everything to look forward to after the game. The cherry on top would be winning for her, winning for Ryder and the team.
Ryder leaned closer, and keeping his voice low, told him, “She saw you punch the wall earlier, and she asked about your hand. I told her you probably fractured something. Her pretty head is jumping all over the place. She’s worried about you, but she keeps saying your jersey stinks. Man, you have to make that right.”
“I will.” David kept his eyes forward. He’d fucked up by giving Diane his jersey, and he thanked God he had left it at only that this time. Because now Jane was wearing it, pleasuring herself on his bed. She was holding back on the Diane thing with him, but he was going to really get in trouble about his hand. She worried about him a lot. “Why the fuck did you tell her?”
“I don’t lie to my girl.” Ryder was being cocky now, and David knew he was actually doing it to push him to play harder. “Dammit, her sexy little ass offered to kiss it better before the game. Those are my lips, fucker.”
“Not when they’re on me.” David grinned as Ryder growled and pocketed his phone.
“She’s getting ready for Luc now.”
All of David’s happiness vanished.
“Relax.” Ryder’s calmness helped, but David knew Luc was up to something. He might have Jane thinking he’s a good guy, but they all knew better. He was the most dangerous guy any of them knew, and Jane was clueless about him.