by Janie Marie
There wasn’t even a reaction to fit how angry and sad his words made her. All she could do was stare at him, every ounce of love she ever thought she felt from him, gone.
Not a bit of warmth in his tone as he said, “If I catch you so much as saying hi to any of them, you’re going to be restricted to your room—or worse. Do you understand?”
“I understand,” she said through gritted teeth. There was no point talking to him—no point letting him know he was an asshole, that she’d lost all love for him—no point telling him he was too late because she was going to do everything she could to see Ryder again, to spend more time getting to know Luc, definitely Tercero, and David—she was going to find out what him owning her ass meant.
The privacy curtain was suddenly yanked aside, and her mother stood there, her watery eyes shimmering as she stared at Kingston. “I’m going to take Jane home. I need to get a few hours of sleep, and I’ll come back with a bag.”
“Where’s David?” Kingston asked, motioning for her mother to come closer to him.
“He’s getting his prescription filled. Lance showed up, and he asked if he could spend the night with him—I said yes.”
Jane dropped her gaze to the floor, but she stood, walking past her mother and out into the hall. How could David leave her? Where the hell was he going with Lance? Well, she knew—a party. There were usually parties at the Godson house, but with Ryder locked up, maybe not tonight. She couldn’t believe him.
The door shut behind her, and her mother brushed past. “Let’s go.”
Sometimes she missed her mother and wished they were closer. Her mom had been in nursing school when she was younger, so it was her dad who spent time with her, and instead of growing closer after her dad’s death, her mother faded, devoting herself to supporting them rather than mourning with Jane.
“I’m not the mother of the year, Jane,” her mom said as they neared the exit. “But I do love you.”
It didn’t feel like it for Jane. If she loved her, she wouldn’t let Kingston treat her like this. She would’ve at least asked her about remarrying, especially to David’s father.
The ride home was silent. There was nothing to say to her mother that would make either of them feel better. The last thing she wanted was to make someone feel the same pain she did, so she closed her eyes, praying all the way home that Ryder was okay.
“I called the chief,” her mom said as they came to a stop.
Jane opened her eyes; they’d made it home already. She glanced next door, her heart’s sadness blooming at the sight of many cars, including Luc’s Lexus. The music was blaring, and lights from the backyard lit up the sky.
“I won’t stop Kingston from enforcing his rules.” Her mom put a hand over Jane’s. “And I won’t pretend I don’t know about those four boys.”
Her breath hitched, and she sat perfectly still as her mother smiled sadly.
“They’ve watched you for years, just waiting for you to look away from David.” A tear slid down her mother’s cheek. “Ryder, especially. He’s the one your father and I thought would be your pick, but you had your little heart set on David. Eric thought you two were so cute together, but he was so sure Ryder was the one—that in time, you’d see he was perfect for you. I suppose that’s why I ignored the voice inside me, telling me it was wrong to remove your chances with David when I fell in love with Kingston.”
Tears blurred Jane’s vision. Her nose burned, and her chest ached. Her dad had picked Ryder, so her mom had stolen her chances with David.
“I wronged you, and I’m sorry because I know you love David very much.” Her mom sighed, flicking her gaze toward the Godson house. “I know David is in love with you as well.”
Jane sniffed, turning her head so she wouldn’t cry in front of her mom. Her mom was basically saying their love didn’t matter.
“He’s your stepbrother, Jane.”
“Yeah, thanks to you!” Jane’s body shook as she cried silently.
“I thought you’d choose Ryder,” her mom said tiredly. “I know Kingston dislikes him, but I know he’s a good boy underneath the asshole he is to everyone else, and it’s why I told the chief we wouldn’t be pressing charges.”
Jane gasped, sitting forward as her gaze shot toward Ryder’s house.
Her mom started talking again. “I told David to stay away from home tonight, and this is the one time I will go against my husband and tell you I think you should check on Ryder. I’m sure he’s worried about you.”
It should’ve sounded wonderful; her mom was going to let her see Ryder, but what it really was . . . “You want me to pick Ryder so there’s no more David.” She felt numb. “You know we love each other, and you want me to let him go.”
“It’s not possible for you to be together.” Her mom sniffed too. “I can’t tell you not to love him, but I hope you will be rational. In time, you’ll see reason. Plus, I know once you give Ryder a chance, you’ll realize he can make you happy—he can take care of you. I promise Kingston will accept him. How can he not after Ryder saved you tonight?”
Jane jerked away, shaking her head. Her mom couldn't even say it—she'd nearly been kidnapped and likely raped, and she hadn't even asked her if she was okay. Strangely, it didn’t even matter as much as what her mom was saying now. “You knew I loved David—Daddy knew—and you both decided for me which boy I would be with? You’re telling me I get no choice because you’re selfish?”
“Your father wanted you to have everything your little heart desired. The last thing he said was they were all perfect, and he was going to have to let you choose all of them,” she said with a shake of her head. “I’m sorry, Jane, but that’s absurd. I think your father simply meant you would have time to make up your mind after dating them. Now, I’ll talk to Kingston about letting you see Luc and Ryder, but I won’t back you up about David. He’s your stepbrother, and nothing will change that. You simply have to move on, and we will never tell Kingston about it.”
Jane pressed her lips together and reached for the door handle. Her hand was shaking so badly, she almost didn’t know if she’d be able to walk, let alone open the door so she could leave. “May I go now?”
“I’ll leave your key in the rock. I expect you to come home at a decent time.” With that, her mother got out, slamming the door shut like she was the teenager who was just being told she couldn’t be with the boy she loved.
Well, Jane wasn’t going to let anyone tell her who she could love or be with. If she had to sneak around behind her mother’s back—well, she’d just be learning from her. After all, things might’ve been more understandable for her if her mother and Kingston had been open about their relationship. They’d hidden things first.
Yes, she wasn’t going to continue letting everyone decide how her life goes or who her heart should beat for. She’d start by telling the Godsons they no longer made decisions for her.
Marching across their lawn, she roughly wiped the tears from under her eyes. She knew she was a crybaby, but dammit, she couldn't help it. What she could help was still embracing herself with tears in her eyes. Her family—her boys—none of them were going to push her around. She didn’t care if David was her stepbrother, and she didn’t care her parents actually had picked well by choosing Ryder for her; she was confused about who she wanted, but she was going to make sure she didn’t regret who she ended up with.
“Damn, girl.” Archer emerged from the shadows, his white hair glowing under the moonlight as he smirked down at her. “Are you coming to start a fight? Because I’ll back you up. Just say the word, and I’m yours to bring.”
Her rage fizzled, and she felt utterly ridiculous because she had felt like she was about to go into battle. And to what? Yell at Ryder, Tercero, and Luc to stop babying her and throw her to the nearest bed so she could start making up her mind?
“Ah, there’s a smile.” He jumped off the porch, striding toward her with predator-like grace. “So, who are you here to see? I’ll smu
ggle you in unnoticed. You just have to do one thing for me.”
“I don’t need you to smuggle me in.” She stayed still as he circled her.
“Well, considering my brothers are not talking to each other, and we had to break them up from fighting after Ryder got home, I think you need help getting to the one you’re looking for. And the three of them together is not recommended.” He then laughed, a boyish smile on his attractive face. “It seems Ryder and David’s alliance is bothersome to Luc, and Tercero prefers courting you alone—his words, not mine.”
“He said courting?” She felt her cheeks flush as she wondered if oral sex was normal courting.
“He’s weird like that.” Archer came to a stop right behind her. “You have a really nice ass.”
Jane should’ve been appalled, but she could feel his amusement in the air, like a tickle across her skin. He was just enjoying messing with her. “Thanks.”
“Wow.” He chuckled, taking a step closer. “Can I touch it?”
She giggled, shaking her head. “You know someone is going to arrest you for sexual harassment one day.”
“You think?” He grinned down at her. “Ryder . . . You want to see Ryder this time.”
“How do you know?”
He leaned down, whispering. “Your eyes. They’re more gold than green. Like the gold misses the green.” He snatched her hand in his, pulling her along behind him. “This way, beautiful. I'll give you a raincheck on the favor you'll owe me because he’s in a foul mood, and if Luc or Tercero manage to distract you from seeing him, we will have to clean up bodies.”
“Are you trying to scare me away from Ryder or impress me?” She struggled to keep up with him.
“Ah, he won’t hurt you.” He grinned over his shoulder, his icy-blue eyes twinkling. “Unless you like the rough stuff.”
“Jesus Christ.” She covered her face with one hand.
“Hey, do I need to teach him how to do the rough stuff for you? ‘Cause, you know—he’s only been with you.”
She smiled fondly. “I think he knows how to please me just fine.”
“Damn.” He shook his head. “Asshole is good at everything he does, huh?”
“Yes.” Jane giggled again. She’d never really talked to Archer before, but it was nice to be around a guy who wasn’t tugging at her heart. Even if he was hot, she knew he wasn’t interested, and she wasn’t either.
“I’d say I taught him everything, but he refused my offer to show and tell.” He snickered when she gasped. “What? Savaş and I fuck girls in the same room all the time. We just offered to let Ryder watch when he started getting grumpy about you.”
“I guess that’s sweet,” she muttered as he unlocked the gate that led to their backyard. Music and laughter filled the air, but it was dark, and she wondered how he was sneaking her in this way. “More loving than my mother who knew I was in love with David, but decided her heart was more important than mine.”
“Ouch.” He slowed, pushing her against the wall as he peered around it. “Damn, Tercero is back here. Pervert is watching your window, waiting for you to come home. I bet he was gonna sneak over as soon as he saw your light come on.”
Jane smiled at the image of him waiting in her bedroom. “Well, as fun as that sounds, I want Ryder right now.”
“Need big dick tonight,” he murmured. “I would say I don’t blame you because Ryder has a nice dick, but I’m a pussy man.”
Her jaw hit the floor, yet Archer didn’t seem to think saying his brother’s dick was nice was being weird.
“All right.” He pushed her back a bit before distancing himself. Then he ran toward her but jumped up before he could hit her. His hand gripped the edge of a brick that looked like it had been purposefully damaged, and pulled himself up, using his momentum to go even higher so that he reached an open window. He hauled himself inside, grunting when he fell onto the floor.
“Are you okay?” She had no idea how he expected to get her up there.
His head popped out, and he winked. “Your turn.”
“I’m not that athletic.” She was about to head toward the back door, damn it all if Tercero spotted her.
“No? You’re a dancer, aren’t you?” He tilted his head, his hair falling over his eyes. “Yes, I’ve peeked in on you when you’re outside at night. Don't panic—Ryder hasn't seen you. You’re good, though. You should dance for him.”
She was speechless. No one knew she danced; that’s why she snuck out at night whenever there was a half-moon out. It was the moon she saw the night her dad had died, and she felt like he was watching her.
“Need a lift, Tex?”
Jane yelped as a large hand came down on her shoulder. “Savaş?”
The big guy grinned, running his hand through his fiery red mohawk. “Of course. How many sexy redheads do you know?”
“Just one, it seems.”
He winked, his amber eyes glowing as he looked up at Archer. “You’re not going to do something perverted with her, are you?”
Archer put a hand over his heart. “I don’t know what you’re talking about—I’m an angel.”
Savaş snorted as he glanced down at her. “If he tries anything, yell. Ryder is across the hall, and he’ll kill him.”
“Damn, bro.” Archer leaned down, holding out his hand for her. “I thought I was your favorite brother.”
Savaş grabbed her by the waist and lifted her without warning. “There are no favorites; we’re brothers. Grab his hand, Jane.”
She’d forgotten how damn tall Savaş was, and she panicked when he lifted her high without any real effort.
“Gotcha.” Archer grasped her wrist, pulling her up as Savaş managed to grab her feet and push her up.
“Shit, don’t drop me.” She scrambled up the side of the house, letting Archer pull her in.
“Don’t worry, I got your ass.” Archer totally grabbed her ass, laughing as Savaş cursed him. “Okay, letting her go.” Thankfully, he did, and politely helped her to her feet as he waved his hand around the messy room. There were clothes everywhere. “I couldn’t decide what to wear.”
“Is Ryder this messy?” She scanned the room, noting two bras draped over a lamp.
“Guess you better find out.” He pulled a needle-like thing from his pocket and headed out the door, whispering, “He stormed up here an hour ago. He locks his door to keep everyone away, but I’m cool. I know how to pick locks.”
She followed him, her nerves kicking in now. “Archer, wait. What if he doesn’t want to see me either?”
He stilled his hand as he looked at her. “Impossible.” Then he did a little movement with his hand and the lock clicked.
Ryder’s voice practically shook the air around them. “Archer, you piece of shit, leave me the fuck alone!”
Oh, he was pissed.
Archer chuckled, pushing open the door. “Relax, brother. I merely caught your moon. She was sneaking across the lawn.” He shoved her into the room and shut the door behind her.
It was dark inside, but moonlight poured over the king-sized bed along with the figure sitting on it.
Jane smiled even though her bad boy looked ready to attack. He didn’t move, but with his forearms braced on his knees and his hands clasped, he was an intimidating sight. Still, she shyly whispered, “Hey.”
“Hey.” It was a detached greeting, his voice rougher than usual too.
She took a hesitant step forward. “I told Tercero to let me know if you got out, but neither of you called. Are you mad at me?”
He shifted, shaking out one of his hands in a way that made her think he’d been making too tight a fist. “Never mad at you, babe. Just making sure I don’t fuck up what’s going to make you happy. Knocking your stepdad out isn’t exactly making our situation any easier for you. It was the last thing you needed to happen tonight—I should've kept my cool.”
Gosh, he really had so much of her heart already. “I’m the one making things hard, and you were only defending Luc
. I'm not mad.”
“I kinda expect things to be hard with you.” He breathed out, putting even more weight on his arms. “I’ll take it all, Jane. But I’m not going to force you to be with me.”
“You want me to leave?”
“Baby, I want to keep you always.” He said it so casually, but each word went directly to her soul and made her flicker with beautiful light in the dark. “But if I have my way, I’ll destroy you. And I want you whole, happy . . . glowing. I’m afraid I’ll put your light out if I try to get closer again.”
Jane didn’t know what to do. Being around each of her guys felt right, but Ryder was all she could think about right now. “Are you okay? No one hurt you, right?”
A dark chuckle slipped out of him. “Nah, no one hurt me. The only one who can do that is you.”
That made her frown; was he saying she was going to break his heart?
“Come here.” He didn’t move from his position as she walked over without any hesitation. He tilted his head a bit to look up at her once she stopped in front of him. “I’m saying too much.”
“No. I want to know what you’re thinking and doing.” She was trembling, the hairs on her body rising as if her body knew he was right there.
He stared at her, the same way he always did—like she was everything he needed and wanted to see. “Do you know how I feel about you?”
“I think so,” she whispered, her heart hammering away now. He loved her.
Absolute beauty when he smiled at her and shook his head. “But you don’t want to believe it, do you?”
“It’s just hard. I’m afraid, I think.” Fox Mulder suddenly popped into her head, and she grinned. “I want to believe.”
“You’re such a nerd.” He sighed, taking in her attire. “Well, if you’re not running from me after the shit I pulled—I’m wondering if you’re planning on flaunting your boyfriend and stepbrother in my face all night. Or do I get to have you to myself for a while?”
Jane rolled her shoulders back so Luc’s jacket would fall off. Ryder stayed right where he was, just inches from her as he scanned her still wearing David’s jersey. She didn’t wait for him to say something about it. Instead, she untied the knot on it and pulled it over her head. But no way was she disrespecting David by tossing him aside. So, after folding it, she held it out to Ryder.