* * *
Patrick did just that and then did it again every day for the next four days. Just after breakfast and before his day began, he travelled to the Mercy Hospital to sit with the boys and with Claudia. He still knew little about her past but whatever had happened had made her the woman she was and that was all he needed to know. Just being around her made him feel alive.
Could he possibly feel more? Could he take a chance of being a part of their little family? He wasn’t convinced he would ever be ready but Claudia had made him want to believe it was possible. He tried to ignore the simple truth that his happiness would be short-lived, with her imminent return passage to London. Instead he enjoyed every moment he spent with her and refused to question the reality of what they shared and for how long it might last.
Claudia needed to stay until Thomas and Luca were discharged and that would give them even more time to get to know each other better. Perhaps if things went well she might extend her stay. He knew he was being hopeful but nothing about their meeting in the first place had been straightforward. Perhaps fate would intervene again.
Patrick smiled as he scrubbed and entered the nursery. Claudia was already with the boys and he couldn’t help but let a grin spread wide across his face as he approached the three of them.
‘How’s my two favourite little men and their mother this morning?’
Claudia looked up at him from where she sat holding Thomas. ‘We are all very well, thank you. In fact the doctor said the boys could be released before their due date. They might be ready to go home in four weeks.’
‘That’s great news,’ Patrick said, feeling a little deflated that the three of them would potentially be leaving his life. Although he was thrilled to hear that Thomas and Luca were progressing so well, it also dashed his hopes that something might develop between Claudia and himself. All they had now were the next four weeks. He just had to make the most of every minute.
* * *
‘I have a small confession,’ he said one morning as they took a walk around the hospital gardens for fresh air after visiting Thomas and Luca in the nursery. Claudia was to be released the next day and he doubted they would see much of each other after that.
‘What?’ she asked, feeling very relaxed in his company and equally not wanting their time together to end.
‘I’m very sorry that you gave birth in the lift and all that you and the boys have been through, but I’m not sorry that you shared my lift that day.’
Claudia felt her heart flutter but she knew she should fight her desire to make more of it than it was. Patrick lived in LA and she was heading back to London. She had to put their relationship in context. This feeling would not lead to more. No matter what her heart was trying to tell her head.
‘I’m exceptionally glad I shared your lift,’ she said lightly, patting his arm. ‘If I’d shared a lift with a pizza delivery boy none of us might have survived...or at the very least the pizza boy would have been scarred for life.’
‘Pizza boys do have to deliver under pressure, so that the pizza’s still hot. He might have coped.’
‘Now you’re being silly,’ she said.
Claudia turned to see the look in his eyes. His expression was serious. Almost a little brooding.
He took her hand to draw her in. ‘I mean it, Claudia. I’m glad I was there. But not just because I could help deliver your sons. I’m very glad I met you.’
Claudia couldn’t agree more but she couldn’t tell him that. She felt her stomach fill with butterflies at the tone in his voice, the intensity in his eyes and the feeling of his hand against her skin. It was soft and warm and it pierced through all of her defences but she didn’t want to give in to how she was feeling. She didn’t want to get hurt again. She had to make him believe that she saw nothing between them when in fact she thought she was close to falling hopelessly in love with him.
They arrived back at the entry door to the nursery. They both stepped back as a nurse entered and collided softly with each other. Claudia felt the warmth of Patrick’s firm body against hers. A tingling sensation overtook her entire body and it took a few seconds to calm herself. She closed her eyes for a moment, not trusting herself to turn and look up into his eyes so close. As she turned tentatively to face him, his lips hovered only inches from hers and she wanted nothing more than to lean in to him a little longer.
But she couldn’t. She had to put a stop to any hint of her feelings. She was leaving the hospital. She had leased an apartment the other side of town and, while it had been wonderful with Patrick visiting every day and demystifying everything medical that was happening with the boys and being there when they’d both been transferred to the nursery on day six, she had to face the rest on her own.
She would be happy if Patrick continued visiting her sons but she needed to stop fantasising about what might be between them. Nothing could become of them because she couldn’t stay and explore that possibility. She belonged back in London with her only other family—her sister. She didn’t want to be on the other side of the world in this city where—apart from with Patrick—she’d experienced little kindness. Her boys deserved a clean start in life and so did she. While Patrick seemed so very perfect, he was also perfectly settled in LA.
She couldn’t tell all of that to Patrick. She would rather he didn’t know the sordid story about Stone and hoped he would think of her fondly after she left. She had reminded herself of that every night as she lay alone in her hospital bed, wondering how it would feel with his strong arm around her. Or imagining the softness of his lips against hers when she woke in the middle of the night and all she could think of was him.
She waited until they were alone and Patrick had taken a seat beside the bed. ‘There’s something I need to say.’
‘I’m all ears,’ he told her as he stretched out his long legs and leant back in the chair.
‘It’s just that I’m leaving the hospital tomorrow so I guess this is the last morning we’ll be spending together.’
He sat up, pulling his legs underneath the chair. ‘You’re leaving the hospital, not the country, Claudia. There’s no need to make it sound so final.’
‘It is final,’ she replied. ‘I’ve leased a place for a month...’
‘You’ve found a place? I could have helped you out,’ he said, cutting in, a little surprised that she had found somewhere to live without mentioning it before then. He’d planned on helping her to secure somewhere or even offering a room in his own home. It was far too big for one person and he would have been happy for her to take the guest room. But it was too late.
‘I think you’ve been too gracious in offering help so I did this alone. I found a realtor and he secured a home for me. It’s a little bit further out of town but it will be fine for the next few weeks.’
Patrick could sense her need for independence so he backed off.
‘I’ll more than likely be visiting the boys during the day and you’ll be at your practice or operating so we might not bump into each other. That’s all. But I’m happy for you to call in and see the boys if you like. They smile whenever you’re around.’
‘I don’t think they recognise me quite yet; I think it’s more likely wind but I’d like to continue to keep an eye on them.’
Claudia laughed. ‘That means so much to me.’
‘And you mean so much to me.’ As soon as he’d said it, he knew it was too soon. But it felt natural and he didn’t regret telling her.
‘Please, don’t. You don’t know me. Not really.’
‘I’d say, after what we shared, we know each other very well. We survived the most stressful situation. Surely we share a special bond.’
Claudia wished her world was different. But it wasn’t.
‘You’re a good man, Patrick, but we can’t be more than friends.’
Patrick reached for her hands and he wasn’t deterred when she pulled away this time. He reached further until he had them firmly inside the warmth and protection of his own. ‘We can be anything you want us to be while you are here.’
That was just it. It would only be while she was in LA. Then what? Claudia felt tears welling in her eyes and she couldn’t blame it on hormones. Her heart was breaking just a little.
‘I enjoy spending time with you,’ he continued. ‘There—I said it. I’m not promising anything, any more than you are. We are two expats on the other side of the world who happen to enjoy each other’s company. Unless you don’t enjoy my company?’
She took a deep breath. ‘Of course I enjoy your company. I enjoy your company very much, but...’
‘There are no buts from where I’m standing.’
‘You’re not making this easy.’
‘No, I’m not. I think you’re amazing and I think that it would be stupid to say goodbye tonight when you will be in the same city as me for the next four weeks, maybe more.’
‘It seems a little pointless...’
‘I disagree.’ He paused over the words. ‘I think we should continue to enjoy each other’s company until you have to leave.’
Patrick knew that their relationship, whatever it might be, would have to end. He would never set foot back in the UK for reasons that he couldn’t bring himself to share. His family were there and he couldn’t see them again. Not after what had happened. In his mind it was better for everyone concerned for him to forget he’d once had a family.
‘How are you getting to your new home tomorrow?’
‘A cab,’ she quickly replied.
‘How about I take you? Absolutely no strings attached to my offer,’ he continued with even greater speed. ‘I’m operating in the afternoon. So I have the morning free to pick you up and settle you in. It’s your choice, a smelly cab or chauffeur driven by me?’
Claudia felt her lips curving to a smile. He wasn’t giving up. ‘Not all LA cabs are smelly.’
‘Not all...but why take the chance?’
She shook her head a little with frustration. Why did he have to be so handsome, so charming and so persistent? ‘Okay...thank you.’ There were a hundred things she could have said and each one would have been closer to how she was feeling but she couldn’t allow herself that luxury.
‘I’ll see you back here in the morning,’ he told her as he walked away.
Claudia offered him a smile as she wondered what she had let herself in for. And that thought played on her mind all through the night.
CHAPTER EIGHT
PATRICK ARRIVED MID-MORNING, just as he had promised. He knocked on her door.
‘Anyone here needing a smelly cab?’
‘Come in,’ she replied, still feeling apprehensive about spending time together away from the hospital. It became a little more frightening to be in the real world with Patrick. ‘I’m nearly ready. I spent a bit more time in the nursery with Thomas and Luca as I wasn’t sure if I would be back again today until late.’
‘No need to rush,’ he told her. ‘The meter’s not running.’
She came out of her tiny bathroom with a few toiletries and, as always, her breath was taken away. He looked gorgeous and she felt sure his smile could melt an iceberg. She dropped the things into her oversized handbag and went back in to brush her hair.
‘The address is on the bed,’ she called out. ‘I wrote it down on a scrap of paper.’
Patrick crossed to the end of the bed and picked up the paper. As soon as he read the address he shook his head. It was not a good part of town. In fact, it was straight out unsafe and, despite his resolve to respect her boundaries, he couldn’t let her unknowingly put herself at risk. He decided not to say anything until she had seen it first-hand. It might not be as bad as he suspected. Her independence was akin to stubbornness, and he hoped once she had seen the location she would change her mind. He typed the address into his telephone so he could get the directions. He knew the general direction but it wasn’t a part of town he frequented so he would need the GPS to find the street. He waited until she emerged in a pretty sky-blue sundress. It skimmed her knees and against her porcelain skin it looked, in his opinion, stunning.
‘You look beautiful, as always.’
‘Thank you,’ she replied with a smile.
‘Shall we go?’ he asked as he picked up her bag and headed for the door.
‘What about the account?’ Claudia asked at Administration.
The young assistant flicked through the paperwork and then checked the computer screen. ‘It’s all been taken care of.’
‘Are you sure?’
‘Yes, your insurance company has covered you. Your sons’ accounts will not be due until they leave the hospital in a few weeks’ time, according to the notes.’
Claudia was relieved to hear that and Patrick was relieved she didn’t ask any more questions about the insurance. His lawyer had contacted the international carrier and worked out an arrangement so that Claudia had no out of pocket expenses. But, with all the uncertainty between them, he didn’t want her knowing he had stepped in to help.
* * *
They drove along with the top down on his sports car. The fresh air felt good after so long in the hospital air-conditioning. They talked about the boys and a little about Patrick’s surgical roster for the afternoon and the time went quickly. As they drew closer to the street, Claudia began nervously chewing the inside of her cheek. The suburb was not what she had expected.
Finally they pulled up outside a run-down semi-detached house. It was worse than Patrick had thought it would be. He suspected a cab driver would have dropped her off without so much as a second thought so he was glad that he had insisted on taking her there. The two foot high wire fence was rusted and missing a gate and the front yard was devoid of any plants or lawn, save for the weeds that had made their way through the broken concrete. He looked over at Claudia and, while he could see her expression had dropped, she said nothing as she released her seat belt.
‘You don’t have to go in, you know that,’ he told her.
‘Don’t be silly. I’ve given the realtor a deposit and I’m moving in today. The shell’s a little worn, but I’m sure it’s probably lovely inside. Besides, I’m not buying the property, I’m only renting it for a month.’
Patrick remained silent but he felt a chill run through him as they walked up the cracked pavement to the faded teal-blue house that looked as if it had not been loved in many years. Perhaps many decades. The wire screen on the security door was torn and would be useless in providing any level of security.
He watched as Claudia took the key she had been given by the realtor and, pulling back the screen door, unlocked the wooden front door and stepped inside. He followed closely, pausing for a moment to look over his shoulder at the neighbouring properties as he did. It was not a good part of town.
The house was quite dark inside for the time of day. Claudia reached for the light switch but nothing happened. They both looked up in the poor light to see the globe was missing from the hallway. An electrical cord was hanging down from the ceiling but there was no light fitting.
‘I can get a new one,’ she said as she made her way down to the brightest room at the end of the short corridor, which turned out to be the kitchen and was equally well worn. The floor was covered in pale green linoleum and it was almost bare, torn in more than a few places and lifting by the back door. There was a small table and two chairs but the wicker weaving was unravelling on one of the chairs, rendering it useless. The refrigerator motor was rattling and the back window looked out onto a car-wreckers’ yard. There were no curtains or blinds and the hotplates on the stove were coated with years of burnt grime.
‘It’s only for a few weeks until the boys are read
y to travel home. It’s not as if I’d be bringing them here. It will just be me.’
Patrick remained silent, but he arched one eyebrow as he followed her into the bathroom. The shower was over a bath stained with rust where the water had been dripping from the tap and running down towards the drain. And the shower curtain was missing. The mirror on the cabinet above the basin was cracked and blackened in places by mildew. There was a small window of smoky glass for privacy but it too was cracked and Patrick suspected that with very little force the window would break completely.
‘Let’s see the bedroom,’ Claudia announced, swallowing hard and trying to sound optimistic as she made her way into the larger of the two bedrooms. There was a double bed but no bedhead and a blue nylon bedspread with a faded floral pattern that couldn’t mask the dip in the mattress. A free-standing oak stained wardrobe that had one door slightly ajar stood by the window. The dirty cream-coloured net curtains covering a stained blind sagged where they were missing hooks. Claudia crossed the dark brown shaggy-carpeted floor to close the wardrobe door and discovered that the handle was broken. ‘I’ll be living out of my suitcase anyway so the door doesn’t matter. I’m not about to be picky,’ she said.
‘Claudia,’ Patrick began in a serious tone, ‘you can’t be considering living here.’
‘Of course I am. I backpacked around Europe in my late teens. It’ll be an adventure just like that,’ she replied as she walked towards the front door, noticing there were holes in the plasterboard that looked as if someone had put their foot through the wall. ‘Shall we get my suitcase so I can settle in and you can get back to the hospital? I know you have surgery this afternoon.’
‘So you’re moving in?’
‘Yes.’
‘Then I’m moving in too; we’ll be house mates. I backpacked around Europe in my late teens too, so I’ll share the adventure with you,’ he announced. ‘Let’s go take a peek at my room. I hope it’s as nice as yours.’
‘You’re not living here; that’s ridiculous.’
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