by Jim Johnson
I processed that. Clearly Bonita had more interests than she had ever let on to me. I looked at her with shy eyes, nervous about what I had to ask her next. “So, Bonita...can...can you help me?”
She leaned back on her stool, getting some distance between us, and twisted one of her rings around and around on her finger. She did that when she was hesitant to deliver bad news, like when she had told me she couldn’t really hire me as a part-time employee.
She took a breath, then said, “I can help you with some of it. You’re starting to dabble in a much larger world, Rachel; I need to emphasize that.” She gestured toward the store, but I suspected the gesture was meant to represent something bigger.
“Let’s be honest. Most of the people out there in the world, they’re sheep, right? Blind sheep happy to see what’s in front of their eyes and not willing to look into the shadows, into the darker recesses of the world where things aren’t quite...well, not quite normal.”
I settled into the discussion. “Ghosts and electric tubes appearing in midair, for example.”
“And powerful forces of energy physically lifting people and throwing them into walls.” She shook her head. “That’s movie special effects and stunts to most people. Make-believe. Fake.”
She sighed and touched her breastbone with the index and middle finger of her right hand, almost a weird sort of salute. “But there are some, people like me and people way more powerful, who know better. The world is full of strange and wondrous things, if a person is only willing to be brave enough to open their stupid eyes and look around.”
I raised an eyebrow at the passion in her voice. I’d had no idea.
She continued. “Ghosts, spirits, poltergeists, the crystals, tarot, witches...it’s all power of one form or another, and it’s all real, Rachel. As long as you believe and are willing to face some really strange and powerful things.”
I stared at her and nodded, slowly. “I’m beginning to believe that, Bonita, I really am.”
She gestured at the random bits and bobs in the store room, the esoteric materials she sold in addition to the baby clothes and nursing supplies. “I don’t practice as much as I used to, but I have friends who do. Some of them are full-blown witches and warlocks.”
I frowned. Again, I had no clue that Bonita had friends in a coven. “So...does that mean I’m a witch too?”
She emphatically shook her head. “Not in the slightest. Nothing you’re describing is anything like witchcraft.” She gave me a frank, apprising eye, sizing me up. I had no idea what she was expecting.
Finally, she shrugged. “I have no idea what you are, other than an Awakened soul.”
I sighed. “What does that mean, anyway, Awakened? I don’t get enough sleep as it is.”
She snorted. “Not that kind of awake. Basically it means you’ve had the blinders pulled from your eyes and you’ve been pushed into a much larger world.”
I frowned at that. “Pushed against my will, you mean. I didn’t ask for any of this.”
She patted me on the knee. “None of us ask for it, chica. It just happens. It’s part of the Awakening process. Sometimes it’s a gentle entry. Other times...it’s a little bumpy.”
“Great. Just my luck to get the ride with bonus turbulence.”
She chuckled and then stood up and lifted a hand. “Hang on here a second.” She left the storeroom and entered the main part of the store, and then soon returned with the bundle of black velvet she kept behind her counter.
She sat across the desk from me and opened up the bundle and spread out the velvet to cover about a third of the desk. The bundle contained a couple of white candles that looked like they saw regular use, with blackened wicks and thin runnels of dried wax on them. There were also two plain pewter candle stands in the bundle.
She glanced at me as she stood the two candles up, placing one in front of her and the other in front of me, at about the same distance and in line. She rested her hands to either side of her candle and then glanced at me with a twinkle in her eye and a slight uplift in her lips.
“Want to try something cool?”
Chapter 23
I GLANCED AT THE CANDLES AND then smiled. Her enthusiasm was infectious. “Okay, what do I do?”
She nodded. “Get comfortable sitting across from me and then take my hands, being sure to keep your hands to either side of your candle, like this.” She demonstrated with her arms and hands and I adjusted my chair so that I could do likewise.
She took my hands in hers and squeezed gently. “Now, close your eyes, and clear your mind. We’re going to try a simple meditation technique and then we’re going to light the candles.”
I frowned. “I didn’t see any matches in your bundle.”
Her grin widened. “We don’t need matches, chica. We’re Awakened.”
I tried to match her grin, but faltered. “Uh…okay?”
She squeezed my hands again and smiled. “Trust me.”
If nothing else, I knew I did already. I nodded and then closed my eyes, and tried hard to push everything that had been happening lately into some quiet corner of my mind. It was much harder than I thought.
Bonita squeezed my hands again. “Easy, Rachel. Don’t try so hard. Breathe. Slow, steady, calm. Follow me if you need to.” I heard her starting to breathe louder but slower, and I suspected she was over-vocalizing her breaths so that I could key into them.
Which I did. I got my breathing synched up with hers and we sat there quietly breathing together, until I could feel myself settling down into a calm state.
“How do you feel?”
I kept my eyes shut but nodded, then said, “Good. I haven’t been this relaxed in a long time. I need to remember this.”
“Calm is good, but relaxed—not so much. We’re about to do a little working, but it’s nothing terribly strenuous. This is a simple technique but don’t feel bad if you don’t get it right the first time around. Practice is what you’ll need, and a lot of it. I can’t imagine what kind of abilities you might have, but it sounds like Miss Chin has an idea. I’d encourage you to work with her if she’s offering to help.”
“She’s hinted at something like that. I’ll have to talk to her again soon.”
“But, for now, focus on keeping your mind clear, and listen to the sound of my voice. I’ll be guiding you into a deeper meditative state—one you’ll be able to enter any time you want once you’ve had a little practice.”
I nodded again, nervous about what might happen, but excited too. “Okay. What do I need to do?”
“Imagine you are floating in the air, and then visualize yourself diving deep into the earth, far, far below.”
I tried to do so, the calmness in my mind and the warmth of her hands in mind encouraging me onward.
“As you delve into the earth, an endless, limitless pool of energy lies before you, stretching out for as far as you can see. Tiny threads of blue etheric power, connected to all living things, flow into and out of this pool. Can you see this?”
Weirdly, I could. “I see it. It reminds me of the tunnel I saw in the stairway, and the little spark I pushed into Robert’s watch.”
“Good. What you are using is what we refer to as your inner sight, your third Eye. Now, visualize the candle in your third Eye, sitting before you on the table. It’s not alive, but you can see the candle’s structure if you focus just so.”
I furrowed my brow and tried to bring the candle into focus using my newly-discovered third Eye. I didn’t see anything, and sighed in frustration.
“Easy, Rachel. Let it flow, let it happen. Rushing and forcing things to happen will just wear you out faster. Slow and steady wins the race.”
“Slow and steady; got it.” I took a deep breath, and then tried again. After a few moments of calm, focused effort, a blurred version of the candle appeared in my mind’s Eye, along with a shadowy outline of the black velvet underneath it.
“I think I’ve got it now.”
“Good. Now,
keeping the image of the candle’s wick firm in your mind, imagine you have a little tentacle in your brain that you can guide into the pool of energy.”
“Tentacles? Is this some sort of gross hentai thing?”
“Uh, no. Focus, my dear.” I could hear the mirth in her voice.
“Sorry.” I focused as she instructed. “Okay, I think I have a little tentacle thing. Now what?”
“Now move toward the pool of energy and pull one of the tiny threads out of it, and feel the power contained within it. It should feel like a full water hose, or maybe a wire that you know has a live current.”
“I don’t spend much time touching live wires, but I get what you’re saying.” And I did, I understood, and when I reached out my little tentacle of thought, I dipped it into the pool of energy and fished out a thin tendril of blue energy, very similar to ones I’d seen earlier in the energy tunnel at Branchwood.
“Got it.”
“Now, focus your breathing, stay calm, and pull that thread up and touch it to the candle wick. You’re looking to make a connection to light the candle.”
“What? We can do that?”
“Go ahead and show me.”
I scrunched up my face in concentration, but then remembered her comment about relaxing, and then took another deep breath or two to center further, and then pulled that thread along, feeling its connection to the larger pool remain intact. I focused on my image of the candle, and then joined the thread to the candle wick.
At first nothing happened, but then I felt a little rush of air, and my third Eye blazed with a bright silver light. It was beautiful.
Bonita squeezed my hands once more. “Open your eyes, Rachel.”
I cracked them open slow, not sure what to expect. Bonita sat across the desk from me, my hands in hers. Between us stood the two white candles, both of which were lit, their little flames guttering slightly from the warm air pushed out of the nearby air vent.
Bonita grinned at me from across the table. “Got it on the first try, Rachel. Nicely done.”
“Holy shit. Did I do that?” I stared at the glittering candle and the fine trickle of white wax trailing down the cylinder.
“You sure did.”
“Even with my eyes open, I can still see the shadow image of the candle, and the thread I used to light it. Is that normal?”
She nodded. “Sort of like double vision? It’s normal. With practice, you’ll be able to suppress what you see with your inner Eye if you want to. It’ll make some things easier.”
I nodded again. After sitting in silence for a few moments, watching the candles and marveling at what I had done, I focused on the light with my inner Eye. “The energy in the pool is bright blue, but I also see a lot of silver in my third Eye thing. Why?”
“It’s awesome that you noticed that. Everyone has an aura of personal energy, and that aura has a particular color—different for each person. Yours happens to be silver. Mine is sort of an aquamarine.”
“Huh, cool.” I glanced at Bonita. “Now what?”
She shrugged. “Now I think you should get on home to rest and to have an evening with your girl.” She grinned. “You might be more tired tonight than you think. Working with the ley grid and threads can be hard work, and if you’re new to it, expect some tired times to come.”
I noted that and then said, “So, we lit the candles. Can we snuff them out too?”
She nodded. “Just reach out and flick the etheric thread away from the candle and will the wick to die out.”
I narrowed my eyes and focused on the candle in my third Eye, and then tried what she suggested.
Without fuss, the candle went out. I raised an eyebrow and then grinned at Bonita. She focused on her candle and snuffed it out as well. “Well done, Rachel.”
I sat back and sighed. I did feel a little more tired than I had before sitting down with her, but that could have just been the adrenaline high easing off. “That’s pretty crazy, Bonita.”
She squeezed my hands once more and then let them go and sat back in her chair as well. “I do have to encourage you to be very careful about practicing. I’m sure you’ll talk to Miss Chin about this and she’ll give you some more pointers, but this is real serious power you’re getting introduced to, Rachel.” She focused on me with a serious look. “Be careful with it.”
I met her eyes and nodded, my mind filled with thoughts and possibilities. “Are you kidding? I’ve torched my brother’s watch and lit a candle with my brain! I don’t want to mess with this stuff without a lot of guidance.”
She nodded and then started to busy herself with cleaning up. I pitched in, avoiding putting voice to that little part of me that wanted to mess around with all this some more, and see what else I could do.
Chapter 24
I WALKED HOME AGAIN, TAKING THE long route this time, which basically meant just taking extra turns on the same blocks. I was excited about what Bonita had shown me and what Miss Chin had told me, even though I was also nervous and still a little wigged out about the whole concept of ghosts and dead souls standing around in alleys being real.
As I wandered and thought through all that had happened, it dawned on me that the sun had gone done, but also that I was stalling. I didn’t actually want to go home—I wanted to find a quiet place where no one could watch me experiment with these new abilities.
I mean, damn. I could light a candle with my mind and send sparks of energy into a wristwatch. And somehow I could see ghosts and floating bits of light, and somehow manipulate energies beyond my understanding to…
I found a bus stop bench to sit on and thought hard. Just what could I do? Why did I have these powers?
I shook my head. “Why you have them isn’t really important. Bonita said I had Awakened.” I wasn’t sure what that really meant, but it seemed to suggest that I’d have these powers for as long as I wanted to use them. I wondered if someone could lose their abilities, and what that might be called? Put to sleep? Unawakened? I’d have to ask Miss Chin or Bonita about it.
So many questions. I guessed the more important question was what was I supposed to do with the powers now that I had them? I didn’t have a good answer for that, though given the lightness of my pocket book, I sure thought it’d be nice if I could find a way to make it profitable.
Whatever the case, I was late again for dinner, and Abbie wasn’t going to be any happier about it. I made my way home, dragging my feet the last block or two, and went into the house. The dinner was already in full swing, with a full house except for Tamara. That’s the latest version of the T-girl’s name we had come up with, but even then, I think it was wrong.
Abbie was cool to me all through dinner, and Penny and Cooper and Vinya all picked up on it and did their best to keep the conversation neutral and non-confrontational. Compared to the conversation I’d had with Bonita, this was like being forced to sit at the grown-ups’ table as a kid during the holidays when you really just wanted to be playing with the other kids.
It was Penny and Cooper’s turn to do the dishes, so I excused myself right after dinner and made myself scarce, holing up in Abbie’s bedroom with the computer. I ran searches on every term I could think of in relation to what Miss Chin and Bonita had told me, and soon found myself running down one rabbit hole after another. The websites and blogs I found got progressively weirder and more esoteric the farther I went.
There was a whole world out there that I had no concept of, except peripherally.
At some point in my searching, Abbie joined me in the bedroom and closed the door. She glanced at me sitting at the computer. “Hey, Rachel. I thought you might join us downstairs.”
I pulled myself away from a crazy blog post positing a sensual connection between hot yoga and Stonehenge. “What? Oh, sorry. I got caught up.”
“Working on your resu…oh.” She had glanced over at the computer screen while she undressed. “How will you fit that into your work experience?”
I snorted but then w
as uncertain whether she was kidding or not. I’d found her hard to read recently. “I, uh, was working on my resume and needed a break, you know?”
I cursed myself inwardly, wondering why I felt it necessary to lie to her. That thought was immediately followed by wondering why I found to so easy to lie to her. Not healthy, Rachel. Not healthy at all.
Abbie gave me a look and finished undressing, then pulled on her bathrobe and grabbed her latest romance paperback and her toiletries. She padded over to me and gave me a kiss on the forehead. “I’m sorry you missed out on the house game night. I could have used a partner in killing zombies.” She offered a tired smile. “I’m gonna take a bath and then crawl into bed and get some sleep. I’ll see you in the morning, okay?”
I tried hard not to feel crushed with guilt. I leaned my head up and got a quick kiss for my trouble. More than I deserved, really. I said, “Have a good bath, honey.”
Abbie nodded and then left me to my internet reading. I tried to focus on it, but gave up, the spirit of exploration squashed by guilt. I had totally forgotten about our usual Friday game night with our housemates. I had disappointed Abbie again, for the nth time this week.
I’d have to fix that. I idly reached up and rotated my crystal pendant in my fingers. No good answer presented itself, so I sighed, changed into jammies, and went to bed by myself. I figured Abbie would join me once she was done with her bath or maybe her book.
I decided I’d make it up to her tomorrow, but then remembered that I had promised Malcolm I’d connect with him at ten to talk about whatever was bugging him.
I brought the conversation with him to mind, the one we’d last had just before leaving Branchwood. He’d been distracted by talking to Bello and seeing me wigged out about the stairway again, but there had been…some earnestness to want to talk things through with me.
Given my chats with both Miss Chin and Bonita, I guess I couldn’t blame him for needing to talk to someone. I didn’t know what sort of support structure or friends he had. Maybe it would be helpful to talk with him and get his perspective.