I shook my head and swallowed hard, tears now rolling down my face, surprising me again. “I don’t want to live life as a bitter woman, Father. And so I choose to forgive you and move on.” I nodded. “That’s it,” I added, shrugging and feeling like a little girl who had gone on and on, now embarrassed. It awakened other memories, and I shifted my weight to the other foot, frowning. “I also didn’t like that treated me like a little girl at first. That you didn’t respect me or my mother when you came to the farm. You simply took over. That was not right. You took advantage of us at a weak moment, to get your own way.”
I leaned back, rocked by my own anger. “And yet you gave me so much,” I whispered, shaking my head. It boggled my mind, thinking of what he’d left me. What he’d brought me into. “Mostly, I’m grateful,” I said. “In spite of the trouble between us. Mostly I’m grateful.” I repeated the words, nodding, the feeling clarifying inside me. “Thank you. Thank you, Father.” And as I said those words, I could hear an echoing prayer in my heart, for my heavenly Father, who had seen it all, led us all, whether we recognized Him in it or not.
With that, I dropped my hand from the casket and turned toward the door
The door cracked open, and I could see Will peeking in. “You all right?”
“Yes,” I said, my chest feeling light and free as I took my first deep breath in what seemed ages. “Better than all right.”
He opened the door wider, and Mr. Morgan’s eyes met mine, gently curious.
“Turns out I had more to say than I thought,” I told him, taking Will’s arm.
“That’s the way of it, most times,” he said. “And that Wallace…” He cocked his head, then shook it. “He cut a wide swath. Which was sometimes good and sometimes bad. But mostly good.”
“Mostly good,” I repeated, smiling at him. “That’s how I’d summarize it too.”
CHAPTER 41
Cora
It was a lovely day to be aboard the Olympic. The seas were calm and the air brisk but warm as we steamed toward the eastern coast of America. I was getting excited to be home, on US soil tomorrow, and soon to be reunited with my parents in Minnesota. How good it would be to see them again, to hug my papa and feel strength in his embrace again. To hold my mother’s hand and tell her I understood, at long last, about mistakes and making the best of past decisions. I wanted to take them shopping and see them purchase at least one item simply because they wanted it—something I’d never ever seen them do. I wanted to make sure they were in a soundly built, comfortable home.
All this I was telling Will as we took a midmorning stroll about the decks, and gradually, I noticed that he had become grim in countenance.
“Will? Is everything all right?” I wondered if he was worried, if things were changing between us, now that the reality of reaching home was upon us.
He turned to me, a very serious expression on his face. “Cora, I fear I’ve done something terrible.”
My heart sank. “What is it?”
He hesitated, and I wanted to shake him for making me wait.
“I think I’ve made a terrible mistake.”
“What? What happened?”
He took my good hand in his and looked down at me, his brows knit in concern. “I thought it would be romantic… You see, I was walking along past the shops downstairs and…”
“Will. What is it?”
He seemed to gather himself and took a deep breath. “Listen to me. We can call the whole thing off. Do this whenever and however you wish. But I took the liberty of…Cora, I planned a surprise wedding for us today.”
I stared at him. “You did what?”
“We bought you a gown. And veil. And slippers! Your sisters and I organized the ceremony and a small reception. Scheduled the captain to come and do the honors.” He bit his lip, studying my face. “But listening to you talk about how excited you are to see your folks…” He shook his head and ran a hand through his hair. “I was an idiot. All I could think about was marrying you, Cora. Of spending the last night on the Olympic together as man and wife. Of how romantic it would be…I wanted to leave this ship, step on American soil, together, united forever. But I was a fool.”
I smiled up at him and shook my head. “Why’d you think yourself a fool?”
He hesitated, and in that moment, I’d never thought him more adorable. “Well, now I’m thinking you’d rather have the wedding in Minnesota,” he said. “Or Dunnigan. That every girl likes to plan her own wedding. And after all you’ve been through this summer, you’d probably really like to plan something yourself, rather than be thrust into another’s plan.”
I looked out to the sea for a moment, then back to him. “William McCabe, I think that out of all the amazing events of the summer, marrying you will be the height of it all. I want you as my husband. And I think marrying you today and returning to America as your wife would be a marvelous idea.”
His sorrow-filled face turned to such utter joy, it made me grin too. “Are you certain?”
I nodded, and he picked me up by the waist and turned me in a small circle, grinning up at me. I was aware of other strollers pausing, or giving us a wide berth, but I kept my eyes on Will. My fiancé. My husband, as of tonight.
He set me down gently, then leaned in to kiss me, not caring who saw us. Then he offered me his arm and we set off on our stroll, feeling like we were already walking an aisle. “So would you have liked to be surprised in a couple of hours instead? Did I ruin it, confessing?”
“No,” I said with a laugh. “A couple of hours’ preparation for a girl’s wedding is probably a good minimum.”
“We could have another ceremony—or a reception!—with your folks.”
I paused and turned to him. “Oh, Will, my folks will be delighted that we are together. They will love you and celebrate our love, rather than worry about the wedding.”
“You’re certain?”
“I’m certain,” I said, nodding. “Now, you’d best escort me to my room. I apparently have a wedding to dress for. And you’ve already seen the bride on her wedding day. That’s bad luck!”
“No bad luck that God’s blessing can’t cover. And Cora, my darling girl,” he said, stroking my cheek, “all I can feel of late is that blessing, flooding over and around us.”
“I think I know exactly what you mean.”
I felt like I was practically floating down the stairs and down the hall to my room. I fished a key from my purse and realized my hands were trembling. He took it from my hand and slid it into the lock, opening the door for me. “Luncheon will arrive for you at noon. And your sisters will come and collect you at two.” He lifted my hand to his lips. “Think you can get ready by then?”
“I think I can manage that in four hours.” I turned to enter, but he grabbed my hand and turned me back around. He leaned down and kissed my cheek, whispering, “Next time we enter this room, it will be together as man and wife.” Then, with a mischievous smile, he closed the door, and I was alone.
I stared at the door a moment, trying to collect my thoughts. I was getting married. Married. Within hours! Then I slowly turned around and looked at the gown that had been carefully laid out on my bed.
It was beautiful and must’ve cost a fortune. His sweet gesture, and the idea that he had planned all that lay ahead, made me tear up. Thinking about it, I didn’t know if I would’ve had the strength to plan our wedding in the coming months anyway, on top of everything else. I picked up the gown and laid it against me, turning to the mirror. It looked like it would fit perfectly.
I set it down again and moved to the veil, which was attached to a heavily beaded crown, and set it on my head. I’d have to get Anna to work with it, to make my hair more sleek and smooth, with a knot low on my neck, but the veil was beautiful too. Even the slippers were perfect—I doubted Will had known my shoe size. Anna or my sisters must’ve helped him with that. Perhaps with all of it. Whoever had done it, they had done a smashing job, and I couldn’t wait for it
all to begin.
Suddenly, I wished we had married weeks ago. Perhaps it would’ve circumvented all the nastiness with Pierre and Nathan if I had simply said yes in Florence when Will asked. But I hadn’t been ready then.
Now, I felt completely, joyously ready. There wasn’t a shadow of doubt in my head or heart. There were challenges ahead, logistics to negotiate, but nothing we couldn’t do together. Of that I was certain.
Anna came with my luncheon at noon, a light salad and soup with a roll and tea. “I thought you wouldn’t want to eat much,” she said, setting the sterling tray down on my table.
“Heavens, I’m not certain I can eat a thing,” I said, rubbing my belly. I’d managed to get out of my morning ensemble of the skirt and jacket and lace dickey and into my dressing robe.
“Well, you need to eat something,” she said, straightening and smoothing her jacket. “You may no longer have arsenic in your system, but if you don’t eat anything, your knees might give way beneath you during the ceremony. We can’t have that.”
“No, I suppose not,” I said tiredly, sitting down before the tray. I took off the dome over the soup, and steam rose into the air. Perhaps I could manage a few bites of it, even with my jitters.
Anna moved swiftly into brushing out my hair and smoothing it into exactly the kind of knot I’d envisioned at the base of my neck. I watched her in the mirror, wondering how she’d managed to read my mind. “So, you’re ready to become Mrs. McCabe, are you?” she asked, winking at me.
I sighed. “I think I’ve always been ready to be with Will. It is like we were meant to be.”
“I’ll say,” she said, lifting her brows and beginning to pin. “It was as if everyone could see it but you. When that Pierre came sniffing about, it took everything in me not to scream.”
I was silent a moment. “So you could see him for what he was.”
She frowned and glanced at me from behind my shoulder. “What? No. None of us knew what a ne’er-do-well the man was. I only knew that Will was right for you, Miss Cora. Knew it in my bones.”
I smiled, relieved that I hadn’t been a complete idiot in thinking Pierre was a man to consider, even if he distracted me from Will for a time.
“No, you’ve crossed your bridges, and suffered your share of losses to get to this day,” Anna said. “Even Mr. Kensington would bless your union, child.”
“You think so? If he were here?”
“I know so,” she said, resting her hand on my shoulder a moment.
I did my best with just one arm to fuss with powder, some kohl liner around my eyes, and a pot of rouge, applying just a little color to both my lids and cheeks. Happily, after the days of rest at sea and the distance from the trauma behind, I found that I was looking far more robust than when I’d left Italy. Had Will surprised me with a wedding in Rome, I might’ve needed far more assistance.
In the end, I attempted to screw on the rouge lid, but Anna had finished my hair. “Ach, let me see to that,” she said and took the pot from me. She glanced at my reflection in the mirror. “You’ve done a fine job, Miss.”
“Thank you, Anna.”
“Now let’s get you dressed. The minutes are passing at frightening speed.”
I looked to a wall clock, and my eyes widened in alarm. She was right. It was only a bit of time before my sisters would come and escort me to the chapel…
Anna helped me into my gown and gingerly worked the delicate lace sleeve over the clumsy cast. “My, my, this gown is so lovely, and you so lovely in it, no one will even see that cast,” she said, intuitively relieving my concern. I knew she wasn’t entirely right, but as I turned to the full-length mirror and she buttoned up the back, I knew she wasn’t completely wrong. With a bouquet of flowers…
But I truly didn’t care then. I was marrying William McCabe. He loved me, and he didn’t care a whit if I was broken-winged bird at the moment. He wanted me as his bride. Me.
The glory of it, the honor of it, made me misty-eyed.
Anna finished her buttoning and straightened the shoulders. She came around me and clasped her hands together to her chest. “Oh my, Miss Cora. You are so completely lovely that our dear Will might stumble overboard when he sees you.”
I laughed. “Oh, I hope not!”
But then I turned back to the mirror, to memorize my image, to remember this day always. The beautiful silk draped over my shoulder and ended in lace at my elbows. At my waist was a wide, gathered band of silk and a wide silk rose on my left hip. The skirt was several cascading layers of the silk, cut at a diagonal and edged with six inches of lace. Each progressive layer grew progressively tighter, and yet from the back, an elegant, small train trailed behind me.
“Oh, he did choose well with this gown, didn’t he?” I said, delighted.
“Better the girl inside than the gown upon her,” Anna said, setting the crown and veil atop my head. She lifted a poof of my hair above the pearled crown, leaving the knot low. I sucked in my breath. How had she known how to do that? I looked like the most chic of women in Paris!
A knock sounded at the door and when Anna opened it, my sisters and Nell came in, all murmuring their appreciation at how I looked. Vivian wore a deep green with black lace at the bottom edge, a white collar, and a fanciful black hat that reminded me of something an artist might wear. Lil wore a gorgeous butter-yellow gown with black stripes on the edges and a tiny band of black in her hair with a long, black feather. And Nell was in burgundy, with ivory lace and long, lace sleeves. All three wore black arm bands just below their right shoulders.
“Well, don’t you all look glorious too!” I said. “Far better than the mourning crepe.”
“My father,” Nell said proudly, still fingering the lace of my dress as if it was an exotic animal, “said that your father would turn over in his grave if he saw us all in black on such a happy occasion.”
“It’s true,” Viv said, taking my good hand. “He’d want us to be celebrating in every manner. And so we shall,” she said, offering her arm to me as Anna knelt before me, obviously intent on helping me into my shoes. I stepped into the white slippers and marveled that these, too, seemed to be meant for me. I might even dance in them this night and not form blisters! But I felt so reckless that I thought that I might even go barefoot, should I feel the first rub.
Another knock, and Nell pulled open the door. In walked two footmen, each carrying two bouquets of flowers. For the girls were sweet nosegays of ivory roses, and for me, a giant bouquet of ivory and white with delicate, fragrant lilies of the valley interspersed between. I wondered over the amazing resources of this fine ship—every night, we had fresh flowers on our tables in the dining room too.
“Oh, aren’t they lovely?” Nell said, dipping her nose into the nearest. “Utterly delightful.” She turned to me. “A man who could choose so well will certainly be a delightful husband, too.”
“I believe so,” I said.
The footmen left, and we spied Hugh and Felix in black coats and tails outside the open door. “May we escort you lovely women to a wedding?” Hugh asked.
“Oh!” I said, covering my mouth with a hand. “I hadn’t even thought of it,” I murmured, almost to myself, thinking of Papa, so far away.
Hugh raised a brow. “An escort down the aisle?” he said, reading my expression. “I know you’d like to ask me, but I think you really ought to ask your brother.”
I smiled and turned to Felix, but he was already stepping forward. “No need to ask, sweet sister. It would be my honor,” he said, with a smart, short bow.
He straightened, his smile wide, and offered one arm to me and the other to Viv. Hugh escorted Nell and Lillian, and we stepped out of the cabin, Anna right behind us. I made sure of it, and she nodded, looking like a proud mama as she followed. Other passengers stopped to admire and nod at us, parting and standing politely at the side to let us pass by, murmuring their congratulations and good wishes. For some reason, that alone made me want to burst with joy, having
strangers wish nothing but well upon us.
By the time we’d descended a flight of stairs and made it partway down another aisle, I was slightly out of breath. But we could already hear the music—a string quartet—playing inside. Felix turned to me. “Ready?”
“In a moment,” I said, trying to regain my composure. I turned to Viv and Anna, wishing I could touch my hair, make sure it was all right. But as I turned, seeing their smiles, I knew nothing was out of place. All was well. And it was time.
“All right,” I said, taking a deep breath.
“I’ll go in and stand with Father and Will,” Hugh said. “The musicians will know you’re ready then.”
I nodded.
He touched my arm and bent to give me a swift kiss on the cheek. “I’m so glad for you, Cora.”
“Thank you, Hugh,” I said, looking up at him. Then he slipped through the door. The song ended, and another began.
“It’s our cue,” Vivian said. She nodded to Lil and Nell, and the two lined up. A footman opened the wide door and kept it open. To me, it felt like a curtain on a stage. Inside, the small group of guests—people we’d met aboard ship along with the captain—all rose. But my eyes sought out Will, blocked in a frustrating way for a time by my sisters, and then, as the music moved to “The Wedding March,” beautifully visible, staring at me alone.
He was so handsome, looking so smart in his black tails and white bow tie. And the way he looked at me as Felix and I came down the short aisle…well, it was so intense it made me want to laugh and blush all at once. How was it that I was so blessed to be given a man like this as a husband?
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