by Maya Banks
His gaze dropped to the now discernible bulge at her waist and he felt the betraying sting of tears. God, he couldn’t lose it. Not now. Not on the most important day of his life. He couldn’t lose it in front of his team and the others. But she undid him. The knowledge of their daughter resting in her womb overwhelmed him.
Their daughter. Their child. His family.
Maren squeezed his arm, her eyes softening, almost as if she knew exactly what he was feeling. Then she nodded toward the waiting minister, indicating they were all waiting for him to proceed.
It was then that he defied convention. He knew there were set rules about ceremonies. Hell, they’d even had a rehearsal—as if he needed to be coached on how to marry a woman that meant the world to him.
But none of that mattered. He couldn’t go another moment without holding her. Without kissing her and telling her he loved her. Now. Right now. Even before their vows.
He pulled her into his arms so that their child was solidly between them. His throat closed in when he felt the faint patter of a kick, almost as if their daughter understood what was happening. He lowered his mouth to Maren’s, kissing her softly at first and then more deeply, allowing every emotion to bleed into that kiss.
She sighed into his mouth. He heard light chuckles from the pews, but he ignored everything but the gorgeous woman in his arms. Shining brighter than the sun. Her love for him. There was nothing that compared.
The only thing lacking from this day was his own family. His parents and his brother, Griffin. But somehow he knew they were up there, smiling down on him and Maren and their daughter. He knew his father would be proud of him. He knew his mother would have loved Maren as much as he did.
When he finally pulled away, there must have been something in his eyes that told Maren what he was thinking. She reached up, ignoring protocol every bit as much as he was, and stroked her hand over his cheek and then down to his jaw.
“They’re here,” she whispered. “They’ve always been with you. And though I know you love and miss them, you do have family. Everyone here.”
She turned, gesturing to the assembled congregation, her smile warm and soft and so filled with love.
“They’re all your family. Mine too. We’re lucky, Steele. So very lucky. And now you have me and our daughter. You’ll always have us.”
The minister cleared his throat and there were smiles from his team and the Kelly wives who stood on either side of Maren and Steele, but he ignored them again as he pulled Maren to him one last time. The last time he’d hold her before they were officially pronounced man and wife.
“I love you,” he said fiercely. “Of anything I ever give you, know this above all else: You will always have my love.”
She smiled back, uncaring as he was that they were holding up the ceremony. “And you’ll always have mine, Jackson Steele. Now, what do you say we get married?”
TWO MONTHS LATER
Steele stood anxiously by Maren’s bedside, her fingers firmly entwined with his as she breathed through another contraction. God, how much longer would this go on? He’d been there when Rachel Kelly had delivered the twins, but it hadn’t taken this long, had it?
No, she’d had a C-section. It hadn’t taken but a few hours. Maren had been in labor for eighteen hours. Eighteen of the longest hours of his goddamn life. She had to be suffering. Her face was pale and sweaty, and yet she looked utterly serene, her eyes warm and full of love, even as she breathed through her contractions. She was taking this a hell of a lot better than he was, because he was about to lose his mind.
“How much longer?” he demanded, turning to the nurse.
The nurse smiled indulgently as if she were well used to harried husbands in the delivery room.
“Not long. She’s fully dilated. The doctor is on his way now.”
“He needs to hurry the hell up,” Steele muttered. “What if he doesn’t make it in time?”
Maren laughed and he marveled that she could possibly find amusement when her body was wracked with pain and she was exhausted from the long labor.
“If the doctor doesn’t make it on time, then I’ll still have the baby, Steele. Women do it all the time. I’m sure the nurse has plenty of experience in delivering babies.”
Steele scowled. “No way in hell I want our daughter delivered except by a qualified professional.”
The nurse sent him a look and snorted. “I’ll pretend I didn’t just hear that.”
Maren’s hand squeezed lightly over his. “It’ll be fine, Steele.”
Damn but he was a miserable failure at this. It should be him offering her comfort and reassurance. She’d been at this for so long and yet she was the one calming him. He crowded in closer to her, already recognizing the signs of another contraction. Maren went silent, her face pinched as she bore down. She closed her eyes and inhaled short breaths and then puffed them out again.
Her hand tightened around his, squeezing until he knew he’d bear marks from her fingernails. But he didn’t care. Hell, she could do whatever she needed. Any discomfort he felt was minimal compared to what she was going through.
He looked desperately at the nurse. “Isn’t there anything you can do? She’s hurting, damn it.”
The nurse’s gaze softened. “Childbirth isn’t painless, Mr. Steele. But Mrs. Steele is handling it very well. And as I said, it won’t be long now. I paged the doctor already and he’ll be here shortly. We’re preparing her for the pushing stage.”
He felt himself go pale. “Pushing stage? That sounds . . . bad.”
Maren laughed again. “If I don’t push, this baby will never be born, honey. It has to come out some way.”
He winced. “It still sounds painful as hell. What can I do, Maren? Tell me and I’ll do it, I swear. Tell me how I can make it better for you.”
Her eyes went soft with love. “You’re already doing it, Steele. You’re here. You love me. You’re holding my hand and offering me your support. That’s all you can do. The rest is up to nature. Try to relax. It won’t be long now, and you’ll be holding our daughter.”
He went still, dazed by the image of a tiny newborn infant, a miniature replica of Maren. He glanced down at his hands. Hands that could so easily hurt a fragile baby. What if he hurt her? What if he held her wrong? He’d only held one baby and that was for less than a minute when one of Rachel’s babies had been thrust into his arms.
“You’re thinking way too much,” Maren said, amusement thick in her voice. “Relax, Steele.”
Then she went silent again as another contraction gripped her. This one was stronger this time and it took longer. She was tense, her face a mask of pain and concentration. A small groan escaped, the first sound of distress that she’d made since her labor began.
He tamped down his panic. She didn’t need him to lose his shit now of all times. He was supposed to be the rock. The strong one. She was supposed to be leaning on him, not the other way around.
He bent and slipped his arm underneath her shoulders, lifting slightly and tightening his hold as he gripped her palm with his free hand.
“We’re almost there, honey. Just a little while longer. You can do this, Maren. You’re so damn strong. God, I’m so proud of you. Just think. In a short while we’ll meet our daughter.”
She sent him a grateful look and he mentally kicked himself in the ass for being such a pansy up to now. This was what she needed from him. Unwavering support. And she was damn well going to get it.
“Hold me like that,” she panted. “It’s more comfortable if I can lean up.” She glanced up at the nurse. “I need to push. Is the doctor coming? It’s time. I can’t stop it. I have to push.”
Okay, that didn’t help his panic, but he called upon the stoicism he was legendary for and didn’t let any of his fear show. He schooled his features and focused on Maren. He kissed her forehead and then wiped the hair from her sweaty brow.
The nurse stepped between her legs and then her eyes widened. “Yep, it�
�s definitely time. You’re crowning.”
Then, as if she hadn’t just dropped such a bomb—at least it was a panic-inducing bomb to Steele—she briskly lifted one of Maren’s legs into one of the stirrups. She gestured toward Steele, her intention clear that she wanted Steele to place her other leg in the stirrup. But that would require Steele letting go of Maren, and that wasn’t going to happen. He scowled and shook his head. The nurse rolled her eyes and then went to Maren’s other side and promptly positioned her leg accordingly.
Just then Doc Campbell strolled in, looking unhurried. He glanced at the nurse and then at Maren.
“I’d say it’s time, young lady. How about we get to the business of birthing this baby?”
Steele sighed in relief. He had to admit, he hadn’t been thrilled when Maren had insisted that Doc Campbell be the one to deliver their child. He wasn’t an obstetrician and he was older than dirt. But Maren had started working with him, slowly taking over his practice and Doc Campbell had scaled back on his hours, giving Maren more of the workload as she gained her bearings and got to know the community he served. As a result, she’d wanted him to deliver their baby. She trusted him, and the old man loved her instantly. As long as he safely delivered their child, Steele could deal. But at the first sign of problems, he was going to demand an obstetrician take over.
Maren squeezed Steele’s hand and struggled to sit up more. He didn’t know how in the hell it could possibly be comfortable to put her chin so far toward her chest with her legs in those damn contraptions, but she seemed to want it that way so he gently helped her, supporting her back and pushing in closer so she was nestled against him.
“When the next contraction begins, I want you to take a deep breath and hold it and push,” Doc Campbell said as he pulled on gloves.
Maren nodded and then tensed. Steele immediately went on alert. This was it. Holy shit, but this was it. Soon he’d be holding his daughter. It boggled his mind and damn near knocked him to his knees.
Maren let out a grunt and then bore down, intense concentration showing on her face, the strain evident as her face reddened with exertion. The nurse counted to ten and then told Maren to breathe out and wait for the next.
There was a next? Shouldn’t that be it? He looked around in bewilderment. Doc Campbell looked nonplussed.
“These things take time, son. Although it looks like this little lady will be here quicker than most.”
“Quicker?” Steele said hoarsely. “How the hell is eighteen hours ‘quick’?”
“He means the pushing stage,” Maren said breathlessly. “Sometimes it takes a lot of pushing before the baby comes. What he means is that I’m not going to have to push through many more contractions before she’s here.”
None of it made a damn bit of sense, but he clamped his lips shut and focused on the only thing he could do. Supporting Maren. Making her as comfortable as he could.
Three more contractions, Maren pushed, the nurse counting. At one point, Maren sagged backward, her strength seemingly sapped. The panic button went off again and Steele gathered her near, his face close to hers, his eyes staring into hers.
“You can do this, Maren. It won’t be long. You said it yourself. Stay with me, baby. Be strong. This is almost over with.”
She smiled faintly and then a sound of pain that damn near gutted him slipped past her lips and she bore down again, her face reddening, her entire body tensing.
It went longer this time, and Maren let out a sound that sent a chill down Steele’s spine.
“What’s wrong?” he demanded. “What the hell is happening ?”
“Head’s out,” Doc Campbell said with a huge smile.
There was a suction sound and both the doctor and nurse were focused between Maren’s legs.
“You can go see,” Maren whispered. “I’m fine, Steele. The worst is over. One more push and she’ll be here. Go watch our daughter being born.”
He was torn between his desire to remain right where he was and the overwhelming urge to watch his daughter enter the world. Maren nudged him, making the decision for him. He moved toward the end of the bed, his eyes widening as he saw the baby’s head cradled in the doctor’s palm.
Suddenly she slid fully out in a rush of fluid, blood and God only knew what else. Safely into Doc Campbell’s waiting hands. The nurse immediately began to wipe her down, stimulating her and then the sound of a baby’s cry went up.
It was the most beautiful sound Steele had ever heard in his life.
“Want to cut the cord, son?” Doc Campbell said, extending an instrument toward Steele.
Steele froze. “What?”
“Cut the cord,” Doc Campbell said impatiently. “Right here. Just snip.”
With shaking hands, Steele did as he was directed and then the nurse took over, clamping the umbilical cord and taking the baby to wrap her in a blanket. The next moment, the nurse handed the baby over to Steele and he was holding his daughter.
His daughter.
His perfect, beautiful, red faced, gorgeous, squirming little girl.
“Thought you might want to hand her to her mama,” the nurse said quietly.
Oh yeah, he did. No one else. He wanted to be the one to place their daughter in Maren’s arms for the first time.
Reverently, he stepped toward the head of the bed where Maren lay against her pillow, looking tired but elated. He leaned down, gently placing their daughter into her arms.
Maren’s entire face lit up, so brilliant, so much joy that it almost hurt to look. He leaned down with her so they could both hold her and then Maren slipped her gown down, guiding the baby to her breast.
Steele watched in fascination as instinct took over and their daughter rooted and finally latched on, taking her first sips of her mother’s milk. Oh, he knew it wasn’t milk. Yet. Maren had explained all the intricacies of labor and delivery, throwing around terms like colostrum and a whole host of other things that didn’t make any damn sense to him. He left all the medical terms to her. He was only interested in the end result.
Maren and their daughter in his arms, his family.
“She’s beautiful,” Steele said huskily.
“Yeah, she is,” Maren whispered. “We did it, Steele.”
“No, you did it,” he corrected her. “You must be exhausted.”
She gave him a tired smile. “I am, but she was so worth it, don’t you think?”
“Yeah. Absolutely.”
As he gazed down at the two most important women in his life, he realized just how quickly someone could fall in love. In two seconds flat, that little girl held his heart right in her tiny hands and she’d never let it go.
“I love you,” he said gruffly, pressing his mouth to her temple. “Love you so damn much, Maren.”
“Love you too,” she said in a voice strained with fatigue but with all the gentleness and love that made her who she was.
God, he loved this woman. He couldn’t remember his life before her. Didn’t want to remember it or go back there. He only wanted to look forward. To a future brighter than the sun. Nothing was better than this. Right here, right now. There was never going to be a day more special than this one.
After the placenta was delivered and Maren was cleaned up, the nurse said they’d be taking the baby to the nursery for all the stuff—whatever that was—they did with newborns. Steele frowned. Oh hell no. Not before he got to show her off.
He glanced down, seeing that his daughter had loosened her hold on Maren’s nipple and had closed her eyes. Maren too had closed her eyes and so he carefully picked up the precious bundle, cradling her against his chest.
Without saying a word—he damn sure wasn’t going to ask permission to take his daughter to see everyone who was anxiously awaiting her arrival—he walked out of the room and down the corridor to the waiting area.
The nurse started to protest, but Doc Campbell held up his hand. “Let him go. Give him a few minutes. The baby will be fine.”
Steele shouldered his way into the waiting room and every eye turned toward him. His team was there. Every single one of them. The Kellys were there. Maren’s parents. All gathered, just as they’d gathered all those months ago when Rachel had delivered the twins. He was a part of this now. It baffled him and humbled him all at the same time.
He stared at them all and smiled. Really smiled. A smile that no one in this room likely ever thought him capable of.
“I want you to meet my daughter,” he said proudly. “The most beautiful baby ever born.”
Laughter went up. Cameras clicked, cell phones were held up to capture the moment where the ice man met the one thing guaranteed to melt him into a puddle on the floor.
A beautiful six-pound, eight-ounce baby girl.
• • •
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• • •
For a complete list of this author’s books click here or visit
www.penguin.com/bankschecklist