“Then what is it?”
“What the hell do you have? If we don’t know, then we won’t be able to fight it! We won’t be ready! What if I am not there?”
“You cannot protect me forever.”
They hugged.
“I am scared, my little rainbow. I don’t remember being so scared since you were born.”
Mercy was fuming when her father introduced her to the team of a University who wanted to start research on her condition and was looking for subjects. It was uncomfortable enough for her going through that on a daily basis. The different approaches she took acted as palliatives to her condition, including meditation and yoga. However, they were not the strong and effective solution her father was looking for. She tried to explain to him that all the aspects of her life were orientated to deal with her condition. That is why she picked a job behind a computer in order to have as little human contact as possible. There were projects which allowed her to work remotely now that people knew about her skills and talent. Still, the angst in his eyes convinced her to at least see what it was all about. The team was based at a hospital in Wales and they were funded by a private institution located at the outskirts of London. If the study on Mercy was of the interest of the institute, she would be requested to be moved there. She was reluctant to be in a hospital, so the choice of being at an institution with no patients, no ER, no people in pain with chronic illness was much better. She would be able to go back to London, do some networking and perhaps find out what was going on inside her head. Natalia offered help to get an insight on the process if she could tell her unofficially the type of tests she would go through.
Still undecided, her father gave her the last push, and together, they travelled to London and visited the institution. Pleasantly surprised with what they found, they both were on-board. For her, it couldn’t be more different to a hospital as there were no sick people around while her father was impressed by the facilities and it looked more like tech corporation with a big spa and military training areas. They were introduced to Dr Velia Morant and Karen Elliot, the ones leading the research. Instantly, the chemistry between the three of them could be felt in the air. Velia was like the older sister, while the other two behave like a couple of teenage girls. Her father was very pleased with Mercy’s feedback who had decided to stay at the institution for the time being while finding accommodation, but she slowly changed her mind as she got used to the facilities. Rumour had it she was allocated the best room in the place. The tests could be uncomfortable from time to time because they were measuring her capacity to feel levels of pain, so progressively, they tested against all sorts of situations. Mercy was scarily accurate to the point of feeling the agony of moribund patients, chronic pains and even she was able to detect when the pain was fake as they tested her with a guy pinching his feet constantly with no effect on her. It turned out the guy had lost his foot in an accident so he was actually pinching his prosthetic limb. She could detect automatically that his pain was fake but did not know why or how. In those few months of evaluation, she even went out with Karen and Velia a few times and, to her surprise, she started to lose contact with her regular friends. One day, Velia called them both and informed them about the next phase which was the manipulation of her condition. So far, they were studying her capacities, her body, all of her systems and trying to understand what was happening to Mercy, but to truly help people with that condition, they needed to be able to manipulate it. The idea was to find out what elements could diminish it and what elements could increase it, in that way, they would be certain how to block it, if that was what the patient wanted, so they said, and the process started.
This new phase was a full-time endeavour, therefore, Mercy stopped working part-time doing remote jobs and focused entirely on the institution. She started to take pills every week and measured her reactions to the pain of others which sometimes was increasing, staying at the same level and, to her surprise, with other pills it totally went out. She was happy about how things were going but Velia informed her that a regular intake of those pills to block her empathy will have consequences in her body, terrible side effects, including infertility, emotional instability and even cancer. The research should continue, so the months passed. As part of her time in the program, she had therapy sessions where she expressed how happy she was there but also talked about her fears, her social life and background and, of course, what she thought the future was holding for her. However, slowly, the chats were directed towards her condition. Dr Adam Parker was driving the therapy for her to embrace her condition, rather than consider it a burden.
“I don’t know how you cannot see that this is a hindrance for me.”
“Because it is a way to be connected with everyone else, instead of being isolated. The technology nowadays evolves to establish new ways of connection because we are a society that is forgetting human to human interaction on a daily basis.”
“Yes, but my condition is not some sort of app that I can switch on and off.”
“I understand that but your approach could be different.”
“I would love to see you trying to deal with this.”
“Believe me, I would love to as well but, unfortunately for both of us, you are the one in that position.”
“I just don't see the big deal about this.”
“The big deal is that you may have the chance of going beyond pain.”
“Well, that is what is for me: Pain.”
“Because it is the most obvious thing, it is a problem.”
“A big one.”
“Have you tried to go beyond that pain?”
“Pardon me?”
“Imagine that old saying, the one about where the trees don't allow you to see the forest.”
“So, in this case, the trees are…the pain?”
“Exactly! But the forest is way more than trees. There are flowers, bushes, birds, hidden little caves but you just see the trees because they are taller than anything else, because they are really in your face.”
“When you are in my position, all you want to do is cut that link. Stop focusing on anyone else's feelings but your own. Don't you think?”
“Of course, of course. I was just offering you a different alternative to help you cope with your peculiar situation. I think you need all the help you can get.”
Mercy knew that the institution had a different agenda when a week after the session, they asked her to interact with subjects who were not in pain. She was supposed to try and feel if there was anything wrong with them or their bodies, which she couldn't or maybe she was just not interested, but she did not say it out loud. At a meeting with Velia and Karen, they informed her that the next phase was about to start. First, it was documenting and understanding her condition, then experimenting with different drugs and the ways her body would react and now she will have to undergo a proper treatment. In a way, she knew they were lying about that new drug because besides being an only injection with no apparent side effects, the main objective was to find a way to dim up and down her empathy at will. Mercy was sceptical regarding the great benefits of that new drug because she knew they were still finding their way into her brain, and also, it was obvious they were not interested in blocking her condition. On the contrary, they were interested in using it perhaps for mind reading or interrogation techniques, she thought. Reluctantly, she accepted with one condition: Her father.
He had been absent for the last few months and his messages were unusually short.
They decided to tell the truth as there was, in fact, something wrong with him. Mr Rogers had contracted an infection at a routine procedure and had been in hospital for the last month. He expressly asked them not to inform Mercy because he was sure he would be able to see her soon and also because her aversion to hospitals was well known. Unfortunately, it had been longer than he thought but his condition, although stable, remained without improvement.
They told Mercy once this phase was finished, s
he would be able to see him either at the hospital or somewhere else. She was angry at them and just wanted the whole thing to be over with. Sadly, everything changed with the new phase. The drug was injected into her but that only increased her empathy to a new level and she could not shut it down. With only seeing people, she could feel everything from period pains, migraines and chronic aches to even depressions and anxieties. She wanted to be taken to the countryside like her dad did after the accident. When her screams started, they decided to empty the highest floor of the building and locate her there. Even so, they kept the two floors below to a minimum of personnel. However, she wanted out because she was feeling they were lying to her. Mercy thought they put drugs in her food because her condition remained intense despite weeks passing by. One day, she demanded to go to the hospital to see her dad until they accepted, but sadly for her, she could not make it to the streets as her perceptions weakened her.
They told her that their new objective was to find a suitable blocker for her unexpected strong reaction to the drug, but instead, she felt they were sedating her so she could not protest.
“This is unbearable.” She said in a session to her therapist.
“Could you elaborate?”
She scoffed at him.
“Elaborate? It is like you haven’t been listening to me all this time.”
“Perhaps it is best that you say it out loud.”
“You know, my condition is getting worse.”
“Feeling the pain of others, I know. So, when you said it’s getting worse, is it because you amplify the pain?”
“No, you don’t get it. It is like you are watching TV all the time, seeing all the channels 24/7 and you can’t turn them off.”
“So, in all those channels, there are always...uncomfortable programs?”
“Not necessarily, no. It is just stuff I don’t want to see.”
“Like?”
“Like right now! I can feel there are three people listening to what we are saying and also, I can feel the fungus in your feet and the way you want to stir the conversation to your side.”
“So, why you let me? Why allow that?”
“Because sometimes I think you are the only one with interesting stuff to say. Even if it is following your agenda. I don’t know, I feel like although I think you lie from time to time, it seems that is for a very good reason.”
He smiled.
“I think you are seeing the forest now and I am not saying that because of my fungus, but still, I don’t need to be an empath to know that you are holding something back.”
“Because all of this is scarier than anyone is thinking! There is no interest in anyone here about slowing things down!”
“What are you so afraid of?”
“You guys only think in one way, one direction. You guys are aiming for me to be some sort of telepath. Well, news flash, it doesn’t work like it does in the movies. I cannot hear words in echo when looking at someone. It is a raw feeling mixed with the one of the next person and the next person and the one after that, but what if it does not go only in one direction?”
“You mean, that they can feel you?”
“Why not? It is perfectly possible and the whole idea scares the hell out of me. It would be like walking naked all the time.”
“Has it actually happened?”
“I don’t think so, no. But I can feel something like that could happen.”
“That is fascinating, but hey, I hear you out and I will recommend stronger blockers in your mix in order to prevent incidents like that.”
“I hope they listen this time.”
Which they did, but not in the way she wanted them to. Mercy knew that something was going on since that therapy session because nothing changed, but she felt more observed and monitored. Another fact that made her suspicious was the absence of Dr Velia. Although she got her messages and saw her signature on documents, she just was not around anymore. Velia’s excuses were ordinary but something about her absence put her off. The staff started to administer blockers with little to no effect and her anger grew. She could not see her father, there was no progress in her trial either and things were getting more and more tedious by the day until, one day, she lost control. Since that day, everything changed like reaching a point of no return which changed her body, her whole life forever. It was an afternoon and the tedious feeling of just having lunch but still facing the rest of the day that seemed longer than the awful morning you just left behind. Mercy was asked to lay down, breathe and count to thirty, then report how she was feeling, any ache or sensation and if it was different to yesterday, which she knew because, behind the wall, there was a different line up of people. Although they kept the staff to a minimum so she was not overwhelmed by a large number of humans surrounding her, they kept changing them in order to confirm the way she was detecting them, how accurately she differentiated between them and how complex her empathy process worked. However, it was all too much for her and she lost her temper. Dr Karen told her to relax and breathe but Mercy, for a moment, instead of complying, told Karen to leave the room and not come back. She looked her directly in her eyes and told her to leave her alone, disappear from her life. Karen left the room and Mercy knew she would never see her again. It was a strange feeling of peace because she had been listened to. A nurse came and told her Karen took the afternoon off. She asked to speak to Dr Velia, but again, it seemed she was out of town and the day after during a cardio session, with her heart rate agitated, she told her personal trainer to give her his car keys for a spin, which he did. Once at his car, she tried to leave the building without being noticed and just at the last barrier, one of the security guards injected her with something in her neck. When she woke up, she felt dizzy and weak, she couldn't articulate more than a few words together. Trapped in her own body, Mercy perceived time like a blend of days and nights with not much logical sense. There were no more therapies until, finally, one day, she regained consciousness. A nurse she hadn't seen before was the one in charge of her care. It was good feeling normal but she knew something was up, so at some point, she demanded to speak with Dr Velia or someone in charge. It looked like she was the only person on the floor besides the nurse but then the nurse left, ready to comply with her request of going for Dr Velia, only that she never saw her again. Someone who identified himself as Gavin Mckenzie, a Program Manager, appeared and took her to a room with lots of sensors and cameras. Once sitting down, she bluntly told him what she wanted.
“I want to leave this research and I want to see my father.”
“I am afraid that is not possible.”
“And why is that?”
“Our reports indicate that you pose a risk for others and for yourself.”
“I have been drugged and forced to stay here against my will. This is kidnapping and torturing.”
“The authorities are aware of your situation and they have agreed with our position.”
“I want a lawyer and not one assigned by you, I want to choose him myself and I need to make some calls.”
“That is going to be difficult at the moment.”
“Listen to me very carefully. All the exit doors on this floor have been locked but you entered here from somewhere. You are going to tell me how to get out of here, now!”
“I am afraid I can't.”
Her determination was overwhelming and when she started to look around for something to use as a weapon, Gavin just started talking out of the blue.
“The exit doors are not only blocked but barred. There is only one way but it is not even up to me to open. A guard will have to check from a camera and then open the door for us. And that is only to leave the floor. The security in the building is tight, all because of you.”
“Let's go, we can try to convince the guard.”
She walked towards the door but he interrupted.
“It’s too late.”
A noise indicated that the door had been locked.
“Did you l
ock us in?”
“No, but they did. They know I have been compromised now.”
“They cannot keep me here forever, that’s illegal.”
“I’m sorry.”“I guess we don’t have much time before they come for you.“Maybe, but they must have a contingency plan that I am not aware of.“Is there anything else you can tell me? Something useful?“You cannot win this fight and they have the upper hand. However, if they are doing all of this to contain you, that means you are far more dangerous than you can imagine.
At the PA, a distorted voice spoke.“Gavin, stop.
“Don’t!” Mercy urged to Gavin.“There is nobody on the floor down and the one below. Whatever you do, it must be of huge proportions for them to take those measures. There are military personnel deployed, covering a radius of several miles in case you manage to escape.”
The speaker started to play a loud noise able to neutralise his voice, so he moved closer to whisper in her ear. Whatever he was saying, Mercy agreed, but soon, both of them started to feel tired and weak. She said something to him to which he nodded before noticing the gas coming out of the ventilation.
Mercy woke up on a wheelchair, taking the sun rays at the patio. The nurse was debating with the doctors how good it would be for the patient to receive more fresh air. There was a woman running around the field who Mercy felt was different to the other people. She wanted to tell her something, she wanted to cry for help somehow, but she couldn’t. The woman looked at Mercy for a bit like feeling her silent cry. Mercy wanted her to come closer and, in a moment of desperation, she managed to stand up but her knees gave up on her after a few seconds. The nurse assisted her and with the doctors and guards, was taken inside. She learnt not to fight them because those moments when the drugs inside her system were wearing off were the best ones to think, the ones with most clarity. There was something different about that woman on the field, something special about her and then she remembered what Gavin said in his whispering before fainting and, indeed, she felt that in a way she caught that woman’s attention, even if it was for a bit. Focused on her breathing, she started to relax and let herself go, opening up to whoever was around. Mercy could feel the nervousness in the only nurse, the sense of alert in both guards but nothing else as they were the only people on the floor. She tried to feel deeper, to dig inside herself but couldn’t feel anything around until she got some flashes of men and women passing by, faint feelings unable to grasp by her conscious, by that understanding self where all she could do was to feel, to connect freely but not now as they were too weak, except one. It was coming from a strong guy, or so he seemed. He was different, volatile, fiery and the only one she could detect beyond her floor. Mercy tried to hold onto him, calling for his help but it was a sensation which came and went. He was so intense and she could detect him at any time, sometimes even in her dreams. It was as if she knew him without seeing him, she could perceive his injuries healing quickly, his doubts and stress and she was sure he was connecting with her drowsiness, with her anxiety and fear but had no clue how to talk to him. Sometimes, she lost him completely but he kept coming back until, one day, he was closer, on her floor, just trying to reach out, trying to figure something out, hopefully, trying to work out who she was, but then, again, she lost him. Although she acted more relaxed to pretend that the drugs were having a more intense effect than they expected, Mercy was on the lookout for him. The guy stood out from the crowd, most importantly, he seemed to know more about her. She had achieved so much with so little, with only herself and she knew that the possibilities were enormous. That is why they were so afraid of her, but it did not matter anymore, the only pressing issue was her freedom and how to get it. Mercy ignored why this guy was so special and how he managed to be so close to her without being noticed, how he knew more about herself but even if he was that special, he would need help. That is how her plan came along in order to help him to help her. One day, she pretended to be asleep and when the nurse arrived, she focused on her. It was getting easier now she had done it with Gavin and with nurses before him. Mercy focused on the nurse, her feelings, her being, she could sense her beyond what her eyes met and then, somehow, remembered that decisive energy she used with Gavin, a commanding power that demanded results. She mumbled to herself.
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