Three Round Towers

  ‘Wilf told me not to go there in the afternoon or evening and to be careful but he didn’t say why.’

  ‘Reckon that’s ’cos of the smugglers – they’re livin’ all down the river and Southease and nearby Telscombe are known bases for they. But I’ll come with you so there’ll be no need to fret; we’ll pitch up at the church and see if anyone knows about your ma.’

  ‘When can we go then? I’ll have to make arrangements for Beth.’

  ‘I’ll let thee know. I can get half a day, mayhaps next week, say Tuesday.’

  We parted and I retraced my steps pondering what I knew about my mother’s family, sadly concluding that it was not much. I was sure that her name, before she married, was Kempe but how I knew that I don’t recall. She could not read or write until my father taught her but she was highly skilled with herbs and receipts, the knowledge of which was gleaned from her grandmother. I had a vague idea that she left her home when her grandmother died which seemed a bit strange but it was not unusual for whole families to be wiped out by disease or even hunger but my mother hadn’t said that her family was dead. She had only said that they were no longer known to her and would purse her lips whenever I tried to open the subject. The memories were painful. I had a younger brother who had died first despite both my parents’ care. My father went next and my dear mother within hours of him. At the time I wished I had died too. Now, with good friends and Beth I had much to be thankful for but it was always with me and I knew how Billy felt to be alone. If Billy was able to make next Tuesday then I would do my best to resolve any issues that had caused my mother to leave her family. My father’s family were also closed to me – he had been, in some way, loosely related to the Coads, which was why I had been sent to them as a servant. Other than that connection I knew nothing and frankly I had no wish to locate any other Coads. Life for me and Billy had been bruising.

  Tuesday arrived and Billy and I set off early to walk to Southease. We followed the track that Wilf had taken in the cart and no one else was about. It was a still day with curls of vapour rising from the damp ground and after a while a strong sun pierced its way through the mist and our spirits rose with the warmth. Wilf’s comments were at the back of my mind and I had been rather anxious. I wished he had not said anything because I felt his opinion of Southease would colour my first impressions. I had been thinking about this visit all week and knew it was important to discover who I came from and if they knew about me or that my mother was dead.

  We came to where we thought the village was and went off the track way, down towards the river and came upon a church. Another church with a round tower, my travels seemed to be punctuated by them. It sat low in the grasses and trees and its tower looked like it was sitting on shoulders. The proportions were unusual to my mind and I sensed that the building was ancient beyond any that Lewes had.

  There was a small burial ground and I thought to walk round the stones and see if there were any Kempes. Billy had disappeared and I explored. There were a few stones with inscriptions but none that was of interest to me. I ventured towards the door and twisted the round ring handle. It was dark and damp inside but just as I thought to find the candles a streak of light came through the highest window and pierced the gloom but even with the ladder of sunshine it did not warm the interior or indicate a welcome. I heard a rustling and a movement in the shadows sent prickles of fear racing up my back. I fled.

  There was a bench seat outside and I sank onto it waiting for my heart to stop pounding. I expect it was only a mouse but the inside of the church felt too ancient and eerie for me. I was relieved to hear voices and was truly thankful to see Billy’s cheerful face, he was accompanied by a small bent figure in clerical garb. The old man, for he was very old, peered up at me from under heavily-hooded eyes. ‘Aye, I see the likeness. You be a Kempe girl. Come, I will point you in the right direction, may you be happy with what ye find.’ He cackled in amusement. We were ‘pointed’ as he put it further down the hill toward the river where there was a row of low dwellings. I put a hand on Billy’s arm and whispered ‘perhaps we should go Billy, I have a bad feeling about this place.’

  ‘Don’t be daft, Esther, you shouldn’t get afeared by now’t. Come on, I’ll go first.’

  The dwellings were uncared for with rubbish strewn all around. A sullen dog, with his hackles rising, growled at our approach and broke into a high-pitched bark. The door was flung aside.

  ‘Gor, love us, it be Sarah. No, hold on. Who are you, what do you want?’ The woman kicked the dog into a whimpering silence.

  Billy said, ‘Are you the Kempes?’

  ‘What’s it to you?’

  Billy looked at me.

  ‘I am Esther, I d’believe my mother was Sarah Kempe.’

  ‘You think, do you?’

  ‘Yes… I do.’

  ‘And what do you want with we, Esther’

  ‘I am looking for my mother’s family and I want to know if they live here.’

  She sneered again. ‘An’ what if you find your mother’s family, what do you want with they?’

  ‘Nothing, I want nothing. I just want to know who they are and why she left them.’

  ‘Well, Esther, daughter of Sarah Kempe, you had better come in and meet your family then.’

  Her laugh was harsh as she stood aside and motioned us into the house.

  My initial thought was not relief at finding I had a family but apprehension. We entered the kitchen; my eyes took seconds to focus and there was silence as I looked around me. There was a range with a cheerful fire burning which provided the warmth and light as not much was coming through the small dirty window. An elderly man sat in a rocking chair mumbling to himself. Another man, a young man, looked at us inquisitively and the woman who had opened the door spoke to him.

  ‘Sam, meet yer cousin Esther.’ He looked surprised before nodding to me.

  ‘Hello.’ My voice didn’t seem like my own.

  She continued. ‘And this old fella will be your grandfather – your mother’s father.

  Me, I’m your Aunt Tilly, your mother were me sister. Yes, Sarah was me sister – the sister who left us. Left her mother and father, left me to care for they. Left us all in the lurch in fact.’

  ‘Why?’ I whispered. ‘Why did she leave you?’

  ‘She thought she were better than we and once she met that man, we didna stand a chance. He turned her aginst us.’

  ‘My father?’

  ‘Aye, him.’

  ‘Ma,’ said Sam with a warning note in his voice, ‘Leave her be, t’were not the lassie’s fault.’

  I looked at him gratefully saying ‘My name is Esther, Esther Coad.’

  ‘Sh’m dead then?’ my aunt asked with a curious note of satisfaction.

  ‘They are all dead, my father, mother and younger brother, all taken by the great sickness.’

  ‘So you be alone an’ you thought you would come and look us up, maybe live with us, or would that be off of us?’

  ‘No, not at all, I wanted to know if I still had a family, what you were like and why did she leave you. I want to be part of a family; I do not like to be all alone. Nothing more.’

  Sam spoke again, ‘Ma, leave the girl be. Will you take a drink Esther, you’ve walked aways?’

  I nodded gratefully and at that moment the door swung open and a tall man strode in. He looked surprised and not a little grim. His hair was black and long and his face was pocked. He smiled but it looked more like a scowl as a deep scar distorted his mouth. ‘Company, eh? And who be you?’

  My aunt explained our presence but her tone of voice was altered, softened.

  ‘Well, a cousin indeed, and one who wants to claim us as her own, now there’s a surprise. Perhaps we should celebrate this, hey, Dad, what do you think?’ he kicked the old man’s chair.

  I looked at him, wondering who he was.

  He spoke to me with a mocking smile. So, Esther you’ve met my brother Sam and my father old Bill over there and m
y mother Tilly. Now, you’ve met me, Jeremiah and you be wondering be I a cousin or an uncle, eh?’

  ‘No,’ I denied, embarrassed to have been caught out. ‘Jeremiah, I am pleased to meet you.’

  ‘Well, Esther, that is a very pretty sentiment and we welcome you with open arms.’ He laughed loudly. ‘Fetch the jug, ma, we must drink on this.’

  My aunt went to an inner room and returned with a jug and some little mugs. She poured a drop into each before handing them round.

  Jeremiah raised his saying ‘To the return of our dear cousin Esther and long may she be with us.’

  We all tupped our mugs and downed the drink. Billy coughed and I choked on the fiery liquid. Jeremiah laughed loudly. ‘So you weren’t weaned on best brandy girl, not like your ma, she would have known how to down the grog without choking.’

  Sam butted in, before I had a chance to interpret what it was he was saying.

  ‘Tell us what happened to your ma and pa Esther and how you found us.’ His voice was gentle and friendly and I warmed to him – unlike his brother.

  Some stools were produced and I told them a little of my tale omitting the detail about the Coads. I explained that I was the adoptive mother of a little girl and that she and I resided at a farm near Lewes. I didn’t go into any detail so my story took but a matter of minutes. For some reason I felt unable to talk about my friends and how I had come by them.

  ‘And who is this young fellow who came with you today?’

  ‘This is Billy-alone. He has been a good friend to me in all sorts of adventures.’

  ‘Well, we look forward to hearing about those stories another time, Can we offer you some food, I am sure our ma could rustle up some cheese?’

  I felt we had spent enough time with my newly-discovered family and I politely declined.

  We all rose, except the man who was my grandfather who looked at me with a flicker of interest in his vacant eyes before saying, ‘Be you my Sarah?’

  ‘No, but I am her daughter, my name is Esther.’

  He lost interest and returned his weak gaze to the fire in the range.

  We made our way out and it was an awkward moment as we took our leave. I looked back at the house: they were all standing in different attitudes. Sam waved, Aunt Tilly stood with her hands on her hips and Jeremiah doffed his cap, sweeping it to the ground.

  Billy and I made our way up through the hamlet and past the brooding church with the round tower sitting on its shoulders, up until we found the Lewes track way and made our way home.

  ‘Billy, did you understand the relationships between them?’

  ‘Nah, but you don’t need to know do you? It’s not your concern. Now you have found them what do it mean to you?’

  ‘I think it is just that I am no longer alone. I don’t want anything from them and I have nothing that they would value but family is family. Their blood runs in me and we have common ancestors. I am happy to have found them.’

  He looked at me strangely. ‘Well if you be happy, how come you look so fearful?’

  I searched my heart for an answer but could find none.

  Chapter Fifty

  Some days later, Cecilia, who was still struggling with her early day sickness, had arranged for the fitting of her dress to be in the afternoon. We drove into Lewes in the gig and Cecilia told the driver to wait for us.

  Miss Simpson looked pleased with the compliments we were able to pay her after trying the dress on. It was absolutely exquisite and Cecelia’s worries about the pregnancy showing were unfounded. While we were in Lewes we called on Mrs Makepiece and I was able to tell her and Cecilia about our trip to Southease.

  ‘That is wonderful Esther; it is good to have family and roots nearby. Will you call on them again soon?’

  ‘I didn’t really feel welcomed,’ I confessed. ‘But perhaps that is not surprising, me turning up out of the blue and there had clearly been some bad feelings about my mother leaving them, as Aunt Tilly put it, in the lurch.’

  ‘Aye, it must have been a bit of a shock to them.’ Mrs Makepiece turned her attention to Cecilia and we talked on about the upcoming wedding and her departure from South Farm as we took tea.

  In the gig as we returned home I asked her if she was excited about the wedding and returning to her mother’s care.

  ‘I am, but once I have been there a few weeks I know I will want to come back to South Farm but I must do what is best for my baby. You will call on John, won’t you Esther? He will be quite lost without us all around him.’

  ‘I will indeed – I am sure I will have time on my hands in the early days and I can walk over with Beth regularly. Perhaps I can accompany the doctor when he visits.’

  ‘Will you write to me Esther? I will miss you and Beth so much and it would be good to know all the little things that are not noticed by John.’ We giggled at her polite way of requesting the gossip.

  The days were going by rapidly with Cecilia turning things out and selecting her travelling wardrobe. I was thrilled to be given two of her day dresses, a shawl and some underclothing, which I had never previously worn. She also gave me some bits and pieces to use as adornments if I went anywhere special. In the days leading up to her departure I was with her constantly and knew I would miss her terribly. Beth was constantly in her arms being kissed and cuddled. ‘By the time you get back,’ I said, ‘she will be talking and walking properly and you won’t recognise her.’

  ‘Oh, don’t say that, I would recognise her anywhere, she has been my dearest love. Excepting John and you of course. When I get back we will be together again and Beth will have a little one to play at being mother to.’

  I laughed at the idea of Beth mothering a new baby but in truth I was dreading Cecilia’s departure. I was very nervous of my new role as nurse and how Beth and I would fit into a bachelor’s household. I truly liked the doctor and enjoyed our discussions but I was unsure of my place. Sometimes I thought him to be looking at me in a manner that wasn’t quite as usual, I didn’t know what it meant.

  On the day before the wedding the household rose early and everyone clustered around Cecilia as she stepped into the carriage. She looked absolutely beautiful and very dignified. I sensed her taking back her role as a peer’s daughter and friend to the royal family. Our little world at South Farm was gently pushed into the background as she and Farmer Elwood took their place in the wider fashionable world.

  After their departure the house fell silent and I went upstairs to pack up my small bag of belongings and Beth’s clothes and toys, her little cloth dolly and blankets that she couldn’t sleep without. The driver was to take us to the doctor’s house in the afternoon and we must be all ready for him.

  We had a light lunch with Mrs Fisher and Cilla in the kitchen before I gave them both a hug and promised to return shortly to hear all the news. I went to the stables and said goodbye to the gardeners and stable lads. I looked to see if Wilf was about and wondered at my sadness that he wasn’t. Oh, how I would miss everyone. I gathered Beth in my arms and we waited patiently for Cecilia’s driver to collect us.

  Chapter Fifty-One

  Garlic: Allium sativum – Garleac, a spear-shaped member of the leek and onion family was cultivated and eaten enthusiastically throughout the middle ages and was used for medicinal purposes from the time of the Egyptians. It had many uses, among them treating coughs and sore throats and ‘it taketh away the morphew, tetters or ringworms and scabbed heads in children’.

  The Physic Garden Booklet, Michelham Priory

  I have been at the doctors for some days now and my world has changed completely. My day has a working purpose and I find I like it very much. The small household rises early and we all eat together in the panelled dining room. The doctor is frequently absent on calls: he is a very busy man and when he is away Mr and Mrs Jenkins sit with Beth and me to take a filling breakfast. Mrs Jenkins tells me about Dr Grieve’s views on eating properly and very soon I fall into the habit of eating several courses comprising
eggs and different meats or fish, whereas, at the farm, I barely managed more than a scrap of fresh bread and jam or honey. I am happy to see Beth tuck into her food so enthusiastically.

  I start my working day in the doctor’s study where he discusses the cases he expects to see and how I can help him either in the management of dressings, the preparation of treatments and making notes of his prescriptions and thoughts. I particularly like the preparation of medicaments to receipts that he has devised himself or received from colleagues. We see patients from nine in the morning, by appointment, and I am present for most of those. As soon as he has seen everyone he goes up to his office in the town and undertakes his coroner’s duties. We take a small luncheon together with Mr and Mrs Jenkins and discuss the town news, of which there always seems to be a lot. The doctor sees the important folk and the Jenkins the small tradesmen and servants so between them they appear to know everything that is going on. It is very entertaining and with so much chatter Beth absorbs it all and does her best to repeat some of the words she hears. It thrills me that she will know words early on in her life that others might never know; I think I develop an ambition for her education.

  One of the biggest changes for me personally is that I am always in company. I am rarely alone nowadays and at times I find that quite tiring. The doctor insists that I take time off to spend with Beth and others of my choosing. In reality there are not many who are of my choosing. With Cecilia gone nearly everyone that I mix with has a purpose for being in my company. I sometimes sit, in the evening, and think how I can make friends with people who seek my company for not what I do or am but for myself. In my heart I hoped that Wilf would fulfil that role or perhaps members of my new family but I couldn’t force these desires forward – I had to hope that people would seek me out.