Zoe retreated into the kitchen. He followed her.
He’d been trying not to push Zoe into anything. He’d been good, patient, nice. Now it was time to be…naughty. Sean grinned.
She picked up a serving spoon from the drying rack on the counter and placed it in the drawer. “I need to make sure everything’s cleaned up.”
He appreciated her work ethic. She made sure she earned every single dollar he paid her. He respected that. Her. But even the most stellar employee needed a…break.
Sean made his way toward her, not letting the crutches get in the way. He knew what he wanted tonight. “Later.”
Her smile wavered. She looked uncomfortable. Nervous. “Don’t want to wake up to a mess.”
“Zoe, I’m done playing games. I want you.”
He’d upped the ante. Finally said what had been on his mind for weeks. Hell, from the first day he’d met her. Now all he could do was stand and wait.
Would she check, call, raise or fold?
Zoe’s brows furrowed, as if she were mulling his words over in her mind and trying to make a decision.
“I don’t want to play games. I’m tired of pretending.” Sean leaned against the counter. “Let’s make something real out of this thing between us.”
She picked up a silver cookie sheet and held it in front of her like a shield. “You need me.”
“Damn straight, I need you,” he admitted. “Come here.”
Her cheeks turned a bright pink. “I meant you still need me to take care of you.”
Not this again. He moved toward her. “Stop bluffing and pretending. We both know that kiss today wasn’t for show. There’s something very real going on here. It’s time to take things to the next level.”
Zoe clutched the edges of the cookie sheet until her knuckles turned white. “I wish I could.”
“There’s nothing stopping us.”
“I’m stopping it,” she said. “My role here is getting a little blurry. I like you, Sean. I can’t believe how much I like you. But I can’t accept a salary, live in your house and have a romantic relationship with you at the same time.”
“Why not?”
“It’s like you’re paying me to…be here.”
He was insulted she’d think that way about him. About them. About herself. “Is this you talking or your mother?”
A beat passed. And another. “Both of us, I think. I want to be responsible.”
“Don’t you think you’re being overly cautious?”
“Better overly cautious than too impulsive.”
He took a deep breath. “Okay. I hear you. But we’re both adults. We can handle this.”
She didn’t look convinced. “For how long? You won’t need my help much longer.”
“Zoe, even after I’m one hundred percent recovered, I still want you around.”
“That’s nice to hear.” Despite the warmth in her eyes, tense lines still marred her forehead and bracketed her face. “But…I remember what you said about dating casually. How long do your relationships usually last?”
Her question caught him off guard. “The past doesn’t matter.”
“Please, Sean.”
“You can’t judge our relationship by how I felt, or didn’t feel, about someone in the past. You’re different, Zoe. You’re special.”
“Are you sure about that?”
The vulnerability he saw in her eyes was like a vise gripping his heart.
“Yes,” Sean said gently. He hadn’t had a relationship with a woman that wasn’t purely physical in years. “Usually I meet someone, we see each other a few times, and it’s over. I’ve never spent time getting to know someone the way I’ve gotten to know you these past weeks.”
“You said you didn’t have time for a relationship.”
“I’ll make time for you.”
“I want to believe that.”
“Then believe it.”
“It’s not just you,” Zoe admitted. “I’ve made a lot of mistakes in the past.”
“It doesn’t matter what happened before I met you.”
She gazed into his eyes, as if she wanted to believe that, too. “This is the first time I haven’t plunged headfirst into a relationship myself. It’s been…nice.”
“Frustrating.”
“That, too.” She smiled up at him. “I really like you, but I need to do this right.”
“Be responsible.”
“Yes,” she said. “Could we wait a little longer until I’m no longer your official caretaker? Maybe I could find a job around here. A place to stay.”
He’d hire her in an instant as a graphic designer. But that would only add another complication. He couldn’t date an employee.
Her words nagged at him.
It’s like you’re paying me to…be here.
Zoe was right. He didn’t want to put her in an awkward position. He would have to wait. Or he’d have to think of something else. Make some calls. Make an effort. Leanne had mentioned something about getting a roommate. “I’ll do whatever it takes, Zoe.”
“Thank you.”
Sean caressed her cheek. Truth was he couldn’t care less if she found a job or another place to stay. He was willing to give her what she seemed to need: a home, a big family and financial security. Those things were nothing compared to what she gave him. “I’m the one who should be thanking you.”
She smiled up at him.
His breath hitched.
“But let’s get one thing straight,” Sean said. “You’re not my pretend girlfriend. You’re my real one. And I still plan on kissing you when we’re with my family.”
Her eyes widened. “You don’t see your family all that much.”
“Not usually, but don’t forget—” he grinned “—it’s Christmastime. You said it yourself, holidays are a time for family.”
Retail therapy had always lifted Zoe’s spirits. She enjoyed the noise, the energy, the glittering mall decorations. Still, she worried about Sean’s ability to navigate the jostling Christmas crowd.
“Are you sure this was a good idea?” She glanced at Sean, walking on his crutches next to her. “I can’t believe you wanted to come shopping.”
He shrugged. “Everybody shops at Christmas. Besides, we needed to get out of the house.”
Because of the limits she’d set on their relationship.
Not that Sean wasn’t cooperating. They still enjoyed each other’s company, the poker and video games, the discussions of work and family and even the weather. But as much as Zoe tried to keep things the same, there had been a shift in their relationship since the tree-trimming party and that kiss. The lack of physical contact was beginning to feel as false as their original ruse.
Sean Hughes was everything she could ask for in a boyfriend. Smart, funny, caring and giving. Strong, responsible, courageous, too. He didn’t care if she could cook or made mistakes. He liked her for who she was or who he thought she was. She couldn’t wait to take things to the next level.
As soon as Sean’s leg was healed.
As soon as she told him the truth.
Her heart beat faster.
No. Zoe couldn’t tell him the truth now. She didn’t want anything to spoil Christmas.
Four singers, dressed in old-fashioned Victorian costumes, sang Christmas carols underneath a thirty-foot lit tree decorated with twinkling lights and big metallic ornaments.
She stared up at it, thinking of their tree at home. “This is all so bright and pretty.”
“Very pretty,” he said, looking at her. “Do you know what you want Santa to bring you?”
“I’ve already gotten what I wanted.” Zoe smiled at him. “I get to spend a white Christmas in the mountains with you and your family. That’s the best present ever.”
“What about spending Christmas with your own family?” His eyes were warm, his tone suddenly serious. “Wouldn’t you rather be with them?”
Her stomach knotted. She was touched by his concern. Panicked by i
t, too.
“It’s not practical this year.” Not possible, even if she wanted to be with them. She would have more fun here with him and his family. “Really, it’s better I’m in Hood Hamlet. Trust me.”
“Are you sure?” he asked.
“Yes,” she said firmly. “I plan on calling my mother on Christmas.”
“Do they have my address?” Sean asked. “To send your presents to?”
“No, but my family’s not big on gifts,” she explained. “They usually give gift cards or cash. That sort of thing.”
“Unlike my family who are very big on gifts,” he said ruefully. “I’ve got a huge list. We’d better get started.”
Zoe noticed the crowd, the people carrying packages and shopping bags. She knew Sean well enough to know he would never complain or ask to leave. Not until they’d accomplished the—what had Bill called it?—objective. “What if you hang out in one place and be the keeper of the gift list? I can buy the items and bring them back here for you to approve and check off. That way you don’t have to worry about walking around on your crutches and I don’t have to carry everything at the same time.”
Sean glanced around. “That sounds like a plan. It’s more crowded than I thought it would be.”
“Christmas is less than a week away.” Zoe motioned to an empty table, pleased she could help him this way. She liked taking care of him, liked knowing she was needed. “Sit there. I’ll get you a cup of coffee then hit the stores. We’ll be out of here before you need a refill.”
He sat. “Spoken like a true shopping expert.”
The words sent a chill down Zoe’s spine. She handed him his list.
When Sean finally learned who she really was, he would realize how close his words were to the truth. He would find out a lot more things about her, her family and her reputation. She hoped he wouldn’t be too upset.
Swallowing a sigh, Zoe gave him a pen. “Be right back.”
While Zoe shopped, Sean used his iPhone to buy her Christmas present.
It’s not practical this year.
Maybe not. But maybe it wasn’t practical because she couldn’t afford to go home. No permanent address. No money for Thanksgiving dinner. No way to get back to her family if she wanted to.
He could fix that.
Sean knew exactly what to give Zoe—a plane ticket, an airline voucher actually, so she could visit her family when she wanted to. His finger hovered over the order button.
Sean worried she would think he was interfering.
Hell, he was interfering.
With good intentions, of course.
Just like his family always interfered with him.
The realization made him wince. But the thought of doing something nice, something selfless for Zoe trumped his momentary discomfort. She shouldn’t be embarrassed about her financial circumstances. She had a job now. She was responsible. It was time to reconnect with her family.
He pressed the button to buy the voucher.
“Hey, Sean.”
He saw a man dressed up as Santa Claus standing next to his table. “Do I know you?”
Behind gold wire-rimmed glasses, the man’s blue eyes twinkled. “I know you, Sean Hughes.”
Oh, the guy must have recognized him from the news. Sean got a lot of that after high-profile rescues, but news junkies and armchair climbers usually remembered him and liked to talk about certain rescues.
“Mind if I have a seat?” Santa asked.
“Go ahead.” Sean guessed Santa must get coffee breaks. “Busy time of the year.”
“The busiest, but it’ll slow down soon enough.” Santa sat and stretched his long booted legs out. “What are you searching for?”
Sean tucked his iPhone in his pocket. “I was just buying a Christmas present for someone I know.”
“Someone special?”
“Yeah.”
“Remember, only you can give her what she wants. Needs,” Santa said mysteriously.
Sean thought about the airline voucher. “I just hope she likes her present.”
Santa pushed his glasses back up his nose. “If you give the gift with your heart, she will.”
“Is that a line from a greeting card or a fortune cookie?”
“You always say whatever’s on your mind.” Santa laughed, a boisterous, rich sound that stirred childhood memories of visiting Santa Claus at this same mall.
Sean looked closer at the guy. He looked a little familiar.
Nah. He shook his head. That had been more than twenty years ago. It was just the red suit and white beard.
Santa grinned, his cheeks a rosy pink. “I’ve always liked that about you.”
Sean had the reputation for speaking his mind. That was why the press sought him out for interviews and sound bites. “Thanks.”
“Before I go, I want to tell you something.” Santa leaned over the table. “Life gives you presents you didn’t plan for. All you can do is accept them. Zoe is a gift, Sean. Take good care of her.”
“How do you know her—” before he could finish his question, Santa was gone “—name?”
Sean looked around. The sign in front of the North Pole Village where children had their picture taken with Santa said he was feeding the reindeers.
Odd, Sean thought.
“More presents to check off the list.” Zoe appeared and set two more shopping bags under the table with the others. She studied him. “You okay?”
He nodded, even though he felt a little off after the visit with Santa.
She glanced at the list. “I’m almost finished. Two more stores, and we can head home.”
With that, she bounced away, a spring to her step and a smile on her face.
Home.
Sean realized how much he wanted Zoe home with him. Not just for Christmas, but New Year’s and Valentine’s and…
On Christmas Eve, Zoe was surrounded. By the sound of the church choir singing, by a sense of hope, peace, and love…and by Sean’s entire family, who took up three whole pews at the lovely rustic church. Young cousins and elderly uncles, Aunt Vera in a feathered hat, mothers holding babies and fathers wrangling excited little ones.
Zoe sighed with contentment. Sean sat beside her, his crutches laid flat beneath the rough-hewn log pew in front of them and his arm around her. It felt good, warm and right. Connie was on the other side, her hand clasped with Hank’s resting on his thigh.
Zoe loved her family. Being exiled from them had shaken her world. But at this moment, in this church, she was thankful her mother had banished Zoe from home and threatened her trust fund. Otherwise, she wouldn’t be here tonight.
With Sean.
Where she belonged.
It wasn’t even December twenty-fifth yet, but this had already been the best Christmas ever.
The organ rolled out the opening chords of “Away in a Manger.” Anticipation rustled through the pews. Zoe looked inquiringly at Sean. With a smile, he nodded toward the back of the small church.
Zoe caught her breath in delight as children dressed as characters from the Christmas story filed down the aisle. First came the animals—curly haired sheep, cows with little faces peeping out, two older boys stuck together as a camel. Sean chuckled at a shepherd, dragging his tiny toy sheep behind him like a dog on a leash. Wise men in paper crowns and turbans and bathrobes followed. Next, a choir of angels in white dresses with gold wings on their backs and garland halos on their heads floated down the aisle. One angel was sweet little Rebecca, who had made Zoe the star at the tree-trimming party.
All the white reminded Zoe of a wedding, of the floating fabric from a bride’s gown. She imagined herself walking down the aisle dressed in white with a lace veil flowing behind her.
A lump the size of Rebecca’s halo formed in Zoe’s throat.
What was going on? She had never once pictured herself as a bride. Not when she’d been a bridesmaid. Not when the tabloids had claimed she was engaged to someone she’d never even met.
But here… Now…
Her heart stuttered.
Zoe could picture it so clearly. And she knew why. She turned her head to gaze up at Sean.
She wasn’t falling in love with him.
She’d fallen.
I love him.
She inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly.
Zoe had come to Oregon running from her past, escaping scandal, stinging from her family’s rejection. Determined to prove her mother wrong and regain access to her trust fund, the last thing on Zoe’s mind had been romance, let alone finding love and commitment.
But in some ways, her mother had been right.
Zoe had needed to learn to be responsible. In taking care of Sean, she’d learned to take care of herself. In helping him until he could walk, she had learned to stand on her own two feet.
She admired his commitment to his work and family, his connections to the community, the volunteering of his skill and time with OMSAR, his hard work and careful preparation as well as his sense of fun and adventure. Even when he was injured and in pain, he managed to be generous, caring, strong.
She loved that about him.
She loved him.
And he wanted her.
Her heart sighed.
She was glad they’d taken their relationship slowly, getting to know each other. She could be sure this wasn’t just another infatuation or mistake. But in striving to be responsible, had she let caution overwhelm her instincts too much?
As the donkey, Mary and Joseph walked down the aisle, Sean looked down at her and smiled, and she knew.
“If a pregnant woman carrying the son of God can’t find a room at the inn, there’s no hope for the rest of us,” he whispered.
Zoe giggled softly.
Contentment welled inside her. Sean accepted her for who she was. She didn’t need to change. She could still follow her heart. Only now she would be smarter about it.
She was done pretending, through with playing roles or games. Her pulse raced. She didn’t want to keep putting it off. She wanted to tell Sean the truth.
Trepidation grabbed hold of her.
Maybe not the whole truth all at once. He would be shocked and probably hurt. Her real identity would raise certain issues and questions. She had no idea how he would react, but she didn’t want protracted explanations about scandals, campaigns and trust funds to overshadow the magic of this special Christmas.
Christmas Magic on the Mountain Page 14