by Cenarth Fox
The story failed to grab Bernie’s attention. His mind buzzed with Kate’s discovery of that listening device in his house. Who put it there? When? How did they gain access? He decided to risk a phone call.
Now the device has been found, surely it’s safe to call Annuska.
She answered in her usual jaunty manner but quickly became serious when Bernie started to tell her about the discovery.
‘I think you have the wrong number, sir. Goodbye.’
She hung up. This left Bernie in shock. Then his phone rang and he grabbed it and blurted.
‘Annuska, we were cut off.’
‘Annuska?’
‘Oh, Kate, hi. I thought you were someone else.’
‘So may one ask who this strange-sounding name belongs to? Not your wife or girlfriend I hope.’
Bernie explained. ‘Hardly. She’s 86 and a dear friend who’s been helping me with a project.’
‘She sounds fascinating.’
‘She is, but I don’t want to bore you with my work stuff. So how are you? I really enjoyed the art-gallery.’
‘Are you sure?’
‘I’m positive.’
They laughed then paused.
Why has she rung?
She explained. ‘I just wanted to thank you again for arranging my interview tomorrow at Labcope.’
‘No problem. I really hope it goes well.’
‘Of course I’d like to get some work, but even if I don’t, I want to tell you how much I appreciate your kindness, and how much I really like being with you.’
Bernie paused. ‘Well … ditto.’
‘Wish me luck for tomorrow. Good night.’
She hung up before Bernie could reply. He enjoyed an endorphin rush. Despite his worries about spies, human guinea pigs, and the fate of his folks, Bernie had found himself a girl.
And I think she likes me.
Next morning he bounced into work and stopped. No Lois. Ms Never-Late was never late. Bernie’s head filled with terrible thoughts.
Lois is late because she gave her mother the MCP, and the old girl’s dead. Lois killed her mother, and out of shame, took her own life.
Bernie wanted to howl, and to compound his misery, the Hyphen appeared.
‘No partner?’ he smirked. ‘On strike are we?’
‘Good morning.’ Bernie waited for an identical response. Nothing. ‘I’m sure Lois will be here soon. Can I help?’
‘I’m here to inform you the board has made a decision regarding the proposed cuts.’ Bernie held his breath. ‘You were asked to suggest areas where cuts could be made, and chose not to participate.’
‘You mean we didn’t volunteer for redundancy.’
The chilly atmosphere turned colder. Bernie stood up to the Hyphen who ignored Bernie’s sarcasm, and continued his rehearsed spiel.
‘I could wait for your colleague but perhaps she’s heard already.’
Bernie ramped up his aggression.
‘Heard what? We know nothing.’
‘Reluctantly the board has decided to reduce staffing levels, and your colleague is to be let go.’
‘Let go! What kind of expression is that? She’s a human. You sack people. It’s a helium balloon you let go.’
‘Perhaps you could ask her to come to my office when she arrives.’ The CEO turned to leave. ‘Wait,’ snapped Bernie.
The Hyphen stopped, and spoke again.
‘The decision’s final. There’s nothing I can do.’
‘Yes there is. I wish to resign.’
Ralph narrowed his eyes. ‘Don’t be ridiculous.’
‘You want to cut one staff member from this department. I’ll resign, and there’s your saving. Lois can stay.’
‘I can’t allow it.’
‘You can’t stop me resigning. I can bloody well do what I like.’
‘It won’t save her job.’
‘You said you need to cut staff. I’ll quit, problem solved.’
Ralph floundered. ‘This is quite unnecessary. Your work is valued, hers is not. Labcope needs young scientists with talent and ambition. You fit the bill.’
‘So will you put that in my reference?’
Bernie enjoyed seeing the Hyphen under pressure.
Why give me this baloney? What does the bastard want?
The CEO backpedalled.
‘All right, if you feel so strongly. I’ll make some calls to the board, and see if we can retain your colleague. Only I advise you to say nothing. The board may not accept my recommendation, and then you will have dashed her hopes. Say and do nothing.’
He gave Bernie a strange look then left. Before Bernie could begin to figure out the politics of what had just happened, Lois arrived.
‘Good afternoon,’ said Bernie, teasing Lois about being late.
‘Sorry, I have had a very strange morning.’
‘You and me both. Now I want you to sit please, Lois, because I have amazing news.’
Lois immediately thought about Bernie’s new drug.
‘What’s happened?’
‘I have just stood up to the Hyphen.’ The look on Lois’s face made Bernie grin. ‘It’s true. He bowled in here to announce that you were to be sacked.’ Lois put her hand to her mouth. ‘It’s okay, relax, you’re fine. But I told the Hyphen that if you were sacked, I would quit.’
‘You what?’
‘And Mr Bully Boots surrended. He gave in without a fight.’
‘Bernie, I won’t have you resign because of me. I won’t let you.’
‘You don’t have to. The Hyphen said I’m an asset to Labcope.’
‘You are an asset to Labcope, a wonderful asset.’
‘Hang on, listen. Ralphie boy painted himself into a corner. He gave me this great rap, and when I asked if he would put that in my reference, he went to water.’
Bernie mimicked the Hyphen. ‘I’ll make some calls to the board, and see if your colleague can be retained.’
Lois couldn’t speak. Tears filled her eyes. ‘Thank you,’ she mouthed.
‘Don’t cry, Lois. Your job’s safe. We’ve got the Hyphen over a barrel. And if he won’t budge, I’d like to go somewhere else anyway.’
Her emotions broke free, and her tears flowed. Bernie struggled.
She dabbed her eyes and spoke. ‘I’m not crying because of my job, or your wonderful sacrifice; I’m crying because of my mother.’
Bernie started to die.
Oh no. What have I done?
‘Is she okay?’
‘No, she’s not okay. In fact she’s far from okay.’ Lois looked straight at Bernie. ‘This morning, my mother apologised.’
The shock hit Bernie hard. ‘You mean she took the drug?’
‘I gave it to her yesterday when she came home. All afternoon there was no change. She blamed me for putting her in the hospital in the first place. She whinged about her food, and about the tidy house being untidy — all the usual things. Then last night as I helped her to bed, she floored me when she said “Good night”.’
‘That floored you?’
‘She usually grunts a reply if I’m lucky. But last night she spoke those two magic words. I nearly fell over. I couldn’t get to sleep. This morning I went in and did the usual, asked how she slept, did she want her breakfast now or later, and she just looked at me. I stopped and asked her if she was all right. Then it happened.’
Bernie could not have been more attentive.
Please be good news.
‘She said quite clearly, “I’m sorry”. Just those two words.’
‘And?’
Lois couldn’t speak. More tears. Bernie waited. Lois recovered.
‘She apologised for being rude and unfair. She admitted her cruelty had been going on ever since my father died. And then she asked me to forgive her.’
‘Oh Lois, that is better than fantastic. That is stupendous news.’
‘I didn’t know what to do. I haven’t hugged my mother for years. It was like she became a new person.�
�
‘I am so happy for you.’
‘And it’s all because of your wonderful creation, Mr Bernard Slim. It’s all because of your “ridiculous” Moral Compass Pill. Now I know it’s only one example, but what an example.’
‘Well … it’s not the only example.’
‘What? You’ve had another one?’ Bernie nodded. ‘And?’
‘Two others.’
‘Two!’
‘And both like your Mum. Two men broke down, confessed their wrongdoing, and promised to change their ways.’
‘Oh Bernie, that’s fantastic, the best news ever.’
She moved to him and they embraced. Even Mr Shy felt it natural and normal to celebrate his drug, and Lois’s mother’s new birth. The timing of their embrace might not have been ideal, because in the midst of same, the dreaded Hyphen entered the lab.
It was hard to tell if he was shocked more by what he saw, or by the lack of reaction to his arrival. The R & D staff didn’t give a damn.
‘I trust I’m not interrupting anything.’
Slowly the scientists parted. No embarrassment; only big smiles.
‘Just some good news we were both able to share,’ beamed Bernie, trying to humiliate his hated superior.
The Hyphen had told Bernie to say nothing about Lois being sacked. Seeing the couple embrace, Ralph assumed Bernie had blabbed. He had but they were celebrating something else — the repentant mater.
Bernie enjoyed watching the Hyphen being uncertain.
‘I’m going around to the various departments with news of cuts to the budget.’ Bernie and Lois felt a pang of nerves. ‘You’ll be pleased to know this department is to continue as before. Carry on.’
He left, and the two scientists did a kind of dance.
It was hard to get on with their work but they did, stopping often to discuss the humiliation they heaped on the CEO, the three human guinea pigs, and one in particular — the mother who overnight became human.
At lunchtime, the lab phone rang. Lois answered and handed it to Bernie.
‘A female,’ she mouthed.
‘Hello,’ said Bernie and grinned when he heard Kate’s voice. ‘How did you go?’
Bernie saw Lois looking at him, and his grin expanded. ‘That’s awesome. Okay, I’ll meet you in Reception.’ He hung up, and looked at his colleague. She teased him.
‘Since when have you started taking calls at work from females?’
‘That’s for me to know and …’
‘… for me to find out,’ laughed Lois.
Bernie removed his coat and glasses. ‘I won’t be long.’
Lois called after him. ‘Take as long as you like, Mr Genius!’
Kate waited in the foyer. She stood as Bernie approached. They kissed gently then headed to the canteen. They didn’t see the Hyphen on the mezzanine floor. He stopped when he saw Bernie. Meet Ralph the spy.
In the canteen, Bernie fetched the coffees, and caused a minor panic.
‘No cinnamon doughnut?’ gasped barista Enrico. ‘Are you not well?’
‘Shhhh,’ from Bernie with a finger to his lips. He brought the coffees to Kate, and delighted in her good news.
‘It’s only a small job but it’s a start,’ she said.
‘That’s fantastic,’ added Bernie. ‘If they like your work, they’ll give you more.’
‘I wish,’ added Kate.
‘They’ll like it. I like it and I’m the managing director,’ boasted Bernie.
They laughed, and Kate popped a question. ‘Bernie Slim, will you allow me to take you out tonight to celebrate?’
‘Okay, but only if we go Dutch.’
She reluctantly agreed, sipped her coffee, and stared into his eyes. Bernie enjoyed life until he suddenly remembered something.
‘Oh bugger, I can’t. Tonight I’m going to see my friend, Annuska.’
‘Ah, the secret girlfriend. Now the truth comes out.’
‘When you get to know me, Ms Naismith, you’ll discover I’m strictly a one-girl kinda guy.’
They sipped some more then Kate had an idea.
‘How about I come and meet your secret lover, and after we can go out and celebrate?’
Bernie smiled. ‘Good idea. And I’d love you to meet Annuska.’
He phoned his scientific friend, and asked if he might bring his girl.
Bernie and Kate made their way to Balaclava by Uber, and survived the front garden with the scientist acting as jungle guide. Annuska opened the door having begun smiling three seconds before.
‘Annuska, this is my friend Kate,’ said Bernie.
‘Hello Kate, and please, come away in.’
In the lounge room they met Dorothy. Small talk dominated with Kate explaining her work as a freelance graphic artist, and the women taking a genuine interest. Things took a Pythonesque change though when Annuska launched her first salvo.
‘Now Kate, I want you to know that you have broken my heart when you steal my lover, Bernie, from me.’
Kate had been warned about Annuska Outrageous, but even said warning failed to save Kate from a shock of sorts.
‘Behave Sussy,’ admonished Dorothy.
‘No, don’t behave, Sussy,’ demanded Bernie. ‘I never want you to change.’
More laughter until Annuska subtly signalled to Dorothy.
‘Kate,’ said Dorothy, ‘as you’re a designer, would you be interested in seeing my water colours?’
Kate was thrilled. ‘You’re an artist?’
‘Well, I try.’
‘You’ve kept that hidden,’ said Bernie.
‘I’d love to see your art,’ enthused Kate.
‘Be careful, Kate,’ warned Annuska. ‘She once asked me to come and see her etchings before she seduced me.’
‘Ignore the mad woman of Balaclava,’ said Dorothy leading Kate from the room. The door closed, and Annuska instantly turned serious.
‘Tell me everything,’ she whispered, ‘everything.’
For a moment, Bernie genuinely thought she was mad.
‘Why are we whispering?’
‘Quickly, while we are alone.’
‘Did you plan to send Kate out of the room?’
Annuska shook her head. ‘For a man who can create a marvellous new drug, you are sometimes particularly stupid.’ Bernie frowned. ‘We are living in a big, bad world, young man. Tell me about the microphone.’
Bernie related the tale, and Annuska interrupted asking questions.
‘That is worrying. Now please, tell me about the human guinea pigs.’
Again Bernie gave details and, with each case, Annuska grew more excited, peppering him with questions.
‘This is marvellous, Bernard Slim, marvellous. If what you say is true, I think you have created something remarketable.’
Bernie wanted to do a Dorothy, and say remarkable but continued.
‘You must stop giving me all the credit, Annuska. Your notes from your years of research were the basis for my experiments. And then your comments helped me refine the final product.’
Annuska leant back. ‘Thank you, but now we have the big problem.’
Bernie looked at her. ‘You mean what to do with the drug?’
‘I mean how do we keep the genie in the barrel?’
Bernie wanted to say bottle but needed to explain his thoughts. ‘I’ve been thinking,’ he said.
‘Don’t. Don’t think, and don’t act. Tell me, how many people know about the drug?’
‘Ah, there’s you and Dorothy, Lois my colleague, and me. My sister thinks Labcope have developed some magic-potion, but that’s all.’
‘What about Kate?’
‘Nothing, I’ve said nothing.’
‘Keep it that way.’
Bernie frowned. The drug results were sensational, but alongside his euphoria, he caught Annuska’s fear.
The door opened and in came Dorothy, alone.
‘What have you done with my love rival?’ demanded Annuska. ‘You have sed
uced her, and treated our friend Bernard with contempt.’
Dorothy ignored Annuska. ‘She’s powdering her nose. Now coffee, young man? I may even run to a cinnamon doughnut.’
‘Just the one?’ laughed Bernie.
Dorothy pointed at Annuska. ‘You, behave.’
She left the room, and again Annuska dumped her flippant remarks, becoming super serious again.
‘I tell you, Bernard, I am scared. If your drug can do what your first tests have shown, our lifes may become very difficult.’
‘I hope not. I never want you or Dorothy to come to any harm; the exact opposite in fact.’
‘That I know.’ She smiled and patted his hand. Her fondness for the young scientist mingled with her feeling of foreboding.
Kate entered singing the praises of Dorothy’s art. Dorothy entered singing the praises of her local bakery. Bernie’s eyes lit up at the sight of the grub. Sadly, though, his heart refused to sing.
13
THE ELECTION DREW NIGH, and Jessica copped flak, the harshest from her disgruntled colleagues. Politics is war, and civil war the most bloody. But Jessica triumphed, and became the Premier of Victoria.
For the newly elected Liberal government, celebrations were long and loud, and Jess and Myles arrived home in time for an early breakfast. Hubby checked on little Simone, thanked the nanny, fed the animals, and went to check on the Premier. Fully dressed but shoeless, she lay face down on her bed fast asleep.
On election night, Luca Parisi watched the counting of votes on the telly. As the change of government became obvious, Melbourne’s drug lord pondered how he might engage with the new premier.
She knows the criminal law. If I help her expose corrupt cops, will that help me? Will that help make me the Mafia Boss Down Under?
Ralph slept badly on election night. Being the CEO of Labcope Australia failed to satisfy Mr Ambitious. His plan for an international appointment hinged on him doing something spectacular in Oz.
Head office needs an executive like me. How can I make it happen?
He needed a whizzbang scientific breakthrough, something that generated vast profits for Labcope. He sensed Slim and the Hungarian woman were doing something special. But what? Speak to me, spy.