by Cate Beauman
The house felt empty already. It would be too quiet without Kylee’s chatter and noise, without Sarah’s laughter.
Ethan scrubbed his hands over his face, reminding himself they would only be two miles down the road—but they might as well be two hundred. Nothing between Sarah and him would ever be the same. He doubted his open-ended invitation would still exist.
He should be happy. Sarah was safe. He could get back to work at the office, have his bed back. His life would be his own again.
God, that sounded awful. Ethan sat up in a panic. What if he couldn’t get her back? What if he couldn’t fix this?
No, he would. He had to. She loved him. She’d told him so, albeit reluctantly, but she did. They’d all but destroyed each other on the bathroom floor. There was still something between them to salvage. His heart rate settled and he rested his head against the pillow again, waiting for sleep to take him under.
Ethan followed the noisy sounds of a Monday morning breakfast to the kitchen. Kylee sat in her booster seat, chewing a mouthful of blueberry pancake. She grinned up at him as syrup dribbled down her chin.
“Morning, kiddo. You’re making a mess.”
“I eating pancakes.”
“I see.”
She held up her fork, offering him a bite.
Bending forward, he took it. A warm blueberry burst in his mouth as he chewed. “Thank you. It’s delicious.”
“I made plenty. Help yourself,” Sarah said as she walked to the table with a plate of her own.
He stared at her, gauging her mood. Where were they at after last night?
Sarah smiled at Kylee and cut into her pancakes. Apparently they were status quo despite the after-sex tension.
“So, I see you found something that fits.”
She looked at him before glancing down at the green strapless sundress he’d taken off her the night they’d eaten lobster tail on his upstairs deck. “It’s a little tight, but it’ll have to do. We have to stop by my house this afternoon. I need to pick up different clothing.”
“Okay.” Ethan made his way to the platter of pancakes, serving himself half a dozen. He sat next to Sarah at the table, pouring syrup lavishly.
“My God, Ethan. It’s a wonder you’re as cut as you are. How can you stand to eat all that?”
He grinned as she wrinkled her nose in disgust. “This is just my first helping.”
“You’ve got to be kidding me.”
Chuckling, he cut into his breakfast. “Of course I am. This should hold me until lunch.”
A smile split her lips. “I certainly hope so.”
He took her chin between his thumb and finger, examining her face. Her pale cheeks and dull eyes of late were replaced with a healthy glow and a bright blue sparkle. “You look good this morning.”
“I feel good this morning. I’m hoping the sickness has passed.” She pulled free from his hold and turned to her pancakes.
Ethan chewed a bite and swallowed. “I have some news.”
Sarah set her fork down. “What is it?”
“I got a call from Detective Campbell last night. They think they’ve caught him.”
“What?” she whispered.
“They’re pretty sure they have him.”
“I-I can’t believe this.” She clutched at her napkin. “It’s all over.”
Ethan scooted his chair closer, skimmed a finger against her cheek. “Hey, I thought you would be happy about this.”
“I am. It’s just hard to take it all in, hard to believe. I’ve been afraid of my own shadow for weeks, now I don’t have to be.” She shrugged. “I imagine that sounds silly.”
“Not at all. You’ve been through hell, Sarah.”
She closed her eyes, pressing her cheek against his palm. He wanted to lean forward, to feel his lips touching hers, but he stayed where he was. This morning was a step in the right direction; he’d be damned if they would take another step back. He brushed a hand over her hair and she opened her eyes, smiling, bringing her hand up to rest over his.
“I can’t seem to make it sink in. I want to laugh. I want to cry, but mostly I want to believe it.” Her eyes watered. “We’re safe. Kylee and I are safe.”
What magic did she possess that undid him so easily? “Yeah.”
“When did this happen?”
“Very early Sunday morning. Apparently someone called in a tip.”
“So it’s over? I think I might ask you a million times.”
He grinned and broke their connection. “I think so. I know you’re eager to get home, but I want you to wait a couple more days, just to be sure.”
She stared down at her plate. “I’m not trying to sprint out of here. When you and the police think it’s safe, Kylee and I will go.”
“Okay.” He cut into his pancake again, fighting the need to pressure her to stay. That wouldn’t work with Sarah.
She picked up the remote for the small TV attached to the underhang of the oak cabinets. “Let’s see what the news is saying about all of this.”
“Tucker said they’re keeping it quiet.”
She pressed power anyway.
A sleek brunette filled the screen. “…the ‘Blue Chip Rapist’ has been apprehended. At this point, details are still coming in.”
“So much for keeping it quiet,” Sarah said, standing. She made a grab for Ethan’s empty plate.
He blocked her with his shoulder. “I can take care of my own dishes.”
“I’m heading to the sink anyway. I need to get a cloth for Miss Messy.”
They both glanced at Kylee, still busy with her pancakes. “More pease, Mama.”
Sarah smiled. “More? You’ve had two.”
Ethan grinned. “She must be growing. I’ll get her another.” He took Kylee’s plate, walked to the counter, began to cut her pancake into small pieces, listening to the news report with half an ear.
“No, that’s not right.”
He glanced up when Sarah stood close to the television. The snapshot of a man that looked very much like him filled the screen.
“That’s not him.”
He frowned as he brought Kylee her plate and moved to stand next to Sarah. “What do you mean?”
She turned to look at him. “That isn’t him, Ethan. The eyes aren’t the same. I’ll never forget his eyes, the way they looked at me.” She shuddered.
Buds of unease bloomed as he watched distress move over her face. He pulled her rigid body against him, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. “They’re pretty sure, Sarah. The evidence is there.”
She shook her head and met his gaze, determined. “This is wrong. It’s all wrong.”
“Okay. I’ll put in a call to Tucker. I’ll tell him what you just told me.”
Nodding, she hugged him to her, holding on tight. She stared back at the screen as they flashed the man’s picture again, along with his name: Eric Walker. “He looks so much like you, Ethan.”
And it didn’t sit right. Something about all of this didn’t add up. He ran his hand over her soft hair. “I’ll go make that call. Do you still want to keep your meeting with Lisa?”
“Yes, of course. I’m going to clean Kylee up and we’ll go wake Hailey. Let me know what Tucker says.”
“We’ll talk on the way to the florist’s.” He pressed his lips to her forehead as her hand still resting at his waist tightened against the fabric of his shirt. “We’ll figure this out, Sarah.”
She gave him a small smile that didn’t reach her worried eyes. “I know.”
“Get things settled with Kylee and we’ll go.” Ethan walked over to the sticky toddler, brushed her hair with a kiss. “Have fun with Hailey, squirt.” He left the kitchen, making his way to the office.
Ethan sat at his desk, put his password into the computer. Within minutes he hacked his way through Los Angeles Police Department’s firewall. He pulled up Eric Walker’s mug shot and stared back at a face that could have been his own. The short black hair and gray eyes were close
. Eric’s cheekbones weren’t as prominent, his coloring a little lighter, his lips a little thinner, but damn, the resemblance was something else.
Jotting down Eric’s social security number and date of birth, he ran a search. Fifteen minutes later, he stared down at the information he’d called up, frowning. The guy was whistle clean. Nothing but a speeding ticket blemished the man’s record. His Facebook account showed that he was engaged to a woman named Savannah. Savannah was astoundingly hot and bore no resemblance to nor shared any characteristics with the women he targeted for rape and murder. Her dark golden skin, brown eyes, and black hair were the polar opposite of Sarah.
Eric had attended Princeton, graduating at the top of his class. He’d studied cancer research. If this was their guy, he didn’t see the connection between UCLA’s medical research facilities and rice paper card stock. When he’d gone through the files Tucker sent over, he didn’t remember seeing a campus billing address.
Ethan picked up the phone, dialed Tucker’s number.
“Detective Campbell.”
“Tucker, Ethan Cooke again.”
“Hey, Ethan, what can I do for you?”
“You can answer some questions. I’ve run your man and he doesn’t fit.”
Tucker blew out a breath. “On paper, you’re right. He doesn’t.”
“It’s more than that. Sarah saw his mug shot this morning. She’s hell bent those aren’t the eyes that stared back at her through the window at my parents’ house.”
“I don’t know what to tell you, man. It’s wrapping up pretty solid on this end. Do you remember the earring Sarah received in the mail a few weeks back?”
“Yeah.”
“We found the match under the carpeting in his trunk. The lab’s working on the hair samples ‘round the clock. They should have something for me later today, tomorrow morning at the latest.”
The evidence was there, so why wasn’t this sitting right? “Will you call me when you know? Sarah’s ready to get home and get back to her life. If you’ve got a positive match, she can put this behind her and move on.” He glanced up as she stood in the doorway.
“I’ll let you know when I do.”
“Thanks.” Ethan hung up, his eyes never leaving Sarah’s. She’d fixed her hair so it fell in loose curls, accentuating her stunning face. Need for her swamped him. He clenched his jaw against it. Struggling for casual over the sudden burst of anger, he stood and stared out the window. “They’re pretty convinced he’s the rapist.”
“Did you tell him what I said?”
“Yeah, I did, but the evidence against this guy is solid.” He turned to face her again, meeting her gaze. “Tucker should be able to wrap this up within the next twenty-four hours at the latest. You should be home by tomorrow night if everything goes the way he thinks it will.”
She walked to his desk, her flowery scent filling the space. “That’s quick.”
“Yeah. We should go. I’ll call Hunter during your meeting. He can go by your house and double-check the security system. When we get back this afternoon, we’ll pack you and Kylee up.”
She wandered around his desk, standing in front of him, resting her hand on his arm. “I told you before, Kylee and I aren’t planning to dash out of here.”
If she wouldn’t stay, he needed her to go. It would be better to get the transition over with instead of drag out the pain. Unable to hold the helpless frustration back, he gripped his chair. “You want out, we’ll get you out. This is the way you want it, Sarah, not me.”
Her arm fell away. “I’m sorry, Ethan.”
“You’re sorry? Don’t be sorry, Sarah. What the hell good does that do? Your apologies don’t change a goddamn thing. Let’s just get out of here and get this over with.”
Despite the hurt he saw in her eyes, he walked off, leaving her standing there.
CHAPTER 24
SARAH NIBBLED AT HER LIP as Ethan drove in stony silence along the Pacific Coast Highway. His cell phone rang, interrupting the uncomfortable quiet. He pulled the phone free of its holder, pressed ‘talk’. “Cooke. I take it you saw the news. Can I call you back in ten? Talk to you then.” He put the phone back and glanced in her direction before turning his attention to the road.
Guilt swamped her as she thought of their conversation in his office. She’d heard his weary voice when he told Tucker she wanted to go home and move on with her life. He made it sound as if she was leaving him behind. In a way, wasn’t she?
She snuck a peak at his handsome profile and was knocked back by a wave of love. No, of course she wasn’t leaving him behind. She never could. He was a part of her life, always would be, but she needed to pick up the pieces first before she could move forward.
But by protecting her own heart, she had hurt his. She needed to fix that.
“Um, I forgot to tell you that next Friday is the baby’s first ultrasound. Do you want to come with me?”
Ethan stayed silent for so long she figured he wouldn’t answer. “Yeah, I’ll be there.”
“The appointment’s at nine. If you want, Kylee and I can pick you up, or you can drop by and get us. We could go out for breakfast first.”
“Next Friday’s pretty busy for me. I’ll probably just meet you there.”
“Okay. If they really have caught the rapist, I was thinking about celebrating by bringing Kylee to the zoo—maybe this Saturday. You’re welcome to join us.”
He yanked the Rover to the side of the road and she gasped, gripping the door handle.
“Is this the way it’s going to be?” he exploded. “Am I going to have to schedule appointments to see Kylee and my own child? Will you call me when he or she takes their first steps? Are we going to do the every-other-weekend deal? And what about the fucking holidays? Do you get Christmas and I’ll take Thanksgiving? Fuck this!” He got out of the car, slammed the door, walked toward the water.
Shaken, Sarah sat stone still, watching Ethan stand by the surf. His hair blew wild in the wind as his shirt and pants molded to the front of his body. In all the years they’d known each other, she had never seen him so angry. She took a deep breath as she pulled the keys from the ignition and walked to where he stood.
The breeze rushed up to cool her hot skin while she stared out at the endless blue. “I don’t know what to do, Ethan. I don’t know how to give us both what we need right now.”
He turned to face her. “I fucked things up between us. I know that. I get it, but when do I get to stop paying? What about the kids; do they have to pay too? I could hate you for this Sarah, I really could.”
Sarah felt the blood drain from her face as white hot rage surged to the surface. “Is that what you think this is, some sort of payback for breaking my heart? Has it really come to this between us?” She swiped at the hair blowing in her eyes. “You’re unbelievable!” Rushing toward the vehicle, she had every intention of taking the Rover and leaving Ethan where he stood. As she pressed the button to unlock the driver’s side door, he grabbed her arm, spinning her around.
Using the anger and hurt radiating through her, she shoved him back a step. “Stay away from me, you bastard. You don’t get to have it all. I gave you everything, and you didn’t want it. Now I’m going to do what I need to to take care of myself.” She tried to steady her ragged breathing echoing with unshed tears. “I’m late for my meeting. Get in or I swear to God I’ll leave you behind.”
She got in on the driver’s side, started the SUV, yanked her seatbelt in place, joined the flow of traffic as Ethan shut his door.
“Sarah—”
“No. Don’t you talk to me. I have absolutely nothing to say to you right now.”
Moments later, Sarah pulled up in front of the florist’s and shut off the engine. She rested her hands against the steering wheel, closed her eyes, taking several cleansing breaths. Steadier, she reached for her purse on the passenger side floor, brushing Ethan’s pant leg. He bent forward and their fingers touched. Sarah yanked the bag from his grasp, wh
ipped the visor down. She reapplied her gloss, fixed her windblown hair.
She took another deep breath, stepped from the Rover and took her camera bag from the back seat. How the hell was she supposed to concentrate on taking pictures when she was seething?
She opened the door to the small but elegant shop, walked into the scent of flowers and espresso. Lisa and a dark haired man sat at a table in the corner, chatting with tiny white cups set in front of them.
She mustered up a smile. “I’m so sorry I’m late.”
Lisa and the man in gray slacks and matching tie stood. Sarah suppressed a shudder as she met his translucent green eyes.
“No problem,” Lisa said. “Matthew and I were going over our ideas for the ball. Matthew Denmire, meet my photographer, Sarah Johnson.”
She held out her hand. He gripped her fingers against his smooth, soft skin. “How lovely to meet you, Ms. Johnson.”
She wanted to yank her hand back. His gaze met hers with such intensity, it felt as if he invaded her soul. “Please call me Sarah.”
“All right, Sarah. Can I get you something to drink? Lisa and I are enjoying an espresso.”
“I’ll take water if it’s no trouble.”
“Of course.” He finally released her and walked to a small refrigerator in the back office.
The door opened and she turned as Ethan stepped inside. He wore his professional mask, but Sarah knew anger and resentment bubbled underneath his smile for Lisa. “Hey, Lisa.”
Lisa smiled. “Ethan, it’s always nice to see you. When am I going to finally convince you to grace the pages of my magazine? Circulation will go up twenty percent. We’re doing a segment on ‘America’s Hottest Bachelors’ in two months. Can I count you in?”
His polite smile grew into an arresting grin. “I’m thinking not.”
“Well, if you change your mind, you tell Sarah.”
He looked at her and his smile dimmed. She was sorry for it.
Matthew came back with her water and she turned, taking the bottle he held out.