Living A Beautiful War

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Living A Beautiful War Page 4

by Debra Kayn


  "What?"

  "Nothing." She gazed over at the truck, unable to stop one more dig from coming out of her mouth. "Better hurry or Kurt will rip your patches off."

  "Get in the truck, Ace. I'll follow you."

  "I think I'll drive over to Rail Point and have a beer before I head back." She hitched her purse higher on her shoulder. "You check in, and if Kurt wants to know where I am, he can ask Risa...or Sawyer."

  She wanted to stab him in the chest with her finger and laugh, because he had no say in what she did on her free time. He could take that back to the club and sulk.

  Ink wrapped his hand around her upper arm and lifted her to her toes, walking her backward. She couldn't stop him without the traction of her boot heel on the ground, so she shook her arm. He wasn't letting go.

  "Ink." She broke away, but the only place she could move was in the truck or smashed up against his chest. "Seriously. What is wrong with you?"

  "You've grown up in the club, Ace. You know the dangers. It was a stupid move to come here by yourself," he said, holding her hips.

  His fingers warmed her bare skin between where the top of her jeans sat and her shirt fell. Afraid to move in case he stopped touching her, she gazed up into his face. Several long seconds passed, and finally she was able to see the deep gray of his eyes in the dark.

  "I went to college by myself. I worked the coffee shacks by myself." She lowered her voice. "Believe it or not, even my dad trusted me to go about my life and be street smart. I came to Federal, and even though it wasn't the smartest thing I've done when I skipped town without telling anyone, I stayed because I know myself and what I can do."

  "I'm not your dad," he said.

  She leaned into him. "No, you're not. You're a Bantorus member."

  "Yeah," he said, lifting her chin. "We need to get back to the club. You want to come to town, you ask Kurt or one of the girls to come with you. I'm not your dad or Kurt, but I'm the one who gives a damn about you."

  Heaviness settled around her. He refused to volunteer, because he wouldn't stand up against the club. She patted his chest. "Fine. Stay bossy and rude, while my life turns into a prison. That's lovely, Ink. Really lovely."

  He remained in front of her, holding her still. Her eyes stung. She was tired of fighting.

  "Ace." He sighed deeply, and there was a lot he wasn't saying in that sound. "You're killing me."

  Her attitude left. "And, you're killing me."

  He cussed under his breath and pulled her forward.

  She laid her head on his chest. His heart raced against her cheek. She soaked in his warmth, his strength, and willed the clock to freeze. She wanted more time to understand what was going through him and why he denied himself this. This perfection when they were together, minus the arguing.

  "I'm sorry."

  He cupped the back of her head, holding her to his heart. "Nothing to be sorry for, Ace. It is what it is."

  Because he was right, she fought against believing that it was impossible for them to be together. There were plenty of Bantorus members who pushed aside tradition to stay with the woman they loved. Bruce stood up against the whole club and declared his love for Kristen. She'd heard the story many times, even though she was too young to remember the actual circumstances. Other members fought to hold on to love when all was lost.

  Unable to stop herself, she moved aside his shirt and kissed his collarbone. Her tongue ran over the smooth, warm surface, and she sucked, bringing the taste of him in her mouth. A possessive need to mark him drove her to doing the one thing that showed everyone he had a woman. He might go to one of the Silver Girls or spend the night with one of the women in town, but they would know some other girl was with him first, and that someone else was in his arms and had her mouth on his body.

  Someday, she hoped he realized that she was always here and she wasn't going anywhere. Anything was possible, and she never gave up on hoping he would find it within himself to speak with her dad.

  She couldn't fault Ink for not wanting to risk his lifer status with the club, but she couldn't comprehend why he didn't just ask her dad. If her dad said no, which he probably would, they could think of something else to try to get around the club rules. She tilted her head and gazed up into his eyes. But what if her dad gave Ink permission to see her?

  It'd be the most wonderful thing in the world.

  "Talk to my dad," she said.

  "This has nothing to do with Rain, Ace." His fingers curled into her hair possessively and his body stiffened. "I'm not going to tell you again, but this has nothing to do with club or seeking the Prez's permission to see you. I won't tie you to me, because you deserve better."

  Disappointment left her cold. She pulled back. "Right, and you think you know what is best for me."

  "I do."

  She shook her head. "Then you're a fool."

  Ink lifted his chin and remained silent. Rejected, she turned and went to the truck. She drove away. Headed toward the club, she gazed in the rearview mirror. If it was anyone else who told her to go home, she would've set the wheels of the truck in the opposite direction for spite. But, Ink would only allow her to push him so far. There was always a worry that someday, she'd go too far, and that would be the last time she saw him.

  In no time, she was back at the club and through the gate. She got out of the truck and headed up the path to Kurt and Risa's house, ignoring the sound of Ink's motorcycle shutting off and him yelling for Beckett.

  She slipped in the front door, looking for relief, and instead came face to face with Kurt. All six foot whatever of him stood in the foyer, a stern set to his mouth, and that stuck-up eye stare he'd given her since she was a kid. She set her purse on the bench alongside the wall.

  "Hey," she said, gazing past him in search of Risa.

  Kurt turned away from her and said, "Living room. Now."

  She wanted to pick up her purse again and heave it at Kurt's big head. What happened between her and Ink was none of his business. Frankly, she was tired of having to defend herself on how she chose to spend her free time.

  Inside the living room, Risa sat curled up in the corner of the couch. Lilly raised her brows in question, and Risa smiled. Her friend looked better than when she'd left. The color was back in her cheeks and her eyes brighter and more awake.

  "What's going on?" Lilly sat down in the chair, prepared to tell Kurt to butt out of her social life.

  "The other day we talked about you managing the Sterling Building on top of Silver Girls," Kurt said, taking Risa's feet and putting them on his lap.

  Lilly relaxed. "Yeah, it's only renting out the rooms and making sure the bills are paid. It won't take much time at all, especially if the club wants to continue doing maintenance and cutting out the middleman."

  Kurt gazed at Risa, who gave him an encouraging nod. Lilly crossed her legs. She'd proven herself many times over that she could run Silver Girls and keep the money coming in. But Kurt was a hard man to read, and the closed off emotions tonight confused her.

  "Is there a problem?" she asked.

  Kurt's gaze swung to her. "There will be a few more women you need to hire to dance."

  "You're bringing on more bitches?" Lilly couldn't stop her nose from wrinkling. "The Silver Girls are going to hate that."

  While Bantorus bitches were a necessity to retaining the solidarity within the club, she never saw the inside workings of their job until she'd moved to Federal. Her mom and dad protected her from the Pitnam bitches, and besides a few curious looks and half a dozen overheard conversations, she'd stayed out of their way.

  "No. They're not for the club." Kurt's fingers never stopped massaging Risa's swollen feet. "I owe Moroad MC a favor, and their women need work. I've agreed to let them dance."

  Moroad MC was not affiliated with Bantorus, and she silently wondered what Kurt had done. That also meant that the men she noticed at the club riding bikes were there on business. She knew better than to ask any outright questions, b
ecause she was a female.

  Lilly nodded in agreement. "Okay, but do any of them know how to dance?"

  "I've been told they do."

  She snorted. "There's a difference between dancing for fun and dancing for customers, Kurt. I can dance. If you put me up on a pole or asked me to dance on someone's lap, you'd find out real quick that I can't dance-dance."

  "She's right," Risa said.

  Lilly shrugged the insult away, because it was true. "Thanks. I guess."

  "You're welcome." Risa grinned.

  "All right, both of you knock it off." Kurt exhaled loudly. "Do you think you can handle more girls?"

  "Yeah."

  "Can you deal with seeing Moroad members picking up their women after a night of working?"

  "Uh, yeah." She sat up straighter. "As long as Bantorus is in good standing with them, I'll have no problem. If they've screwed over the club, then no, I'll give them what they got coming."

  "Lilly." Kurt's mouth hardened. "Not your business."

  "Then sure, not a worry." She stood. "Is that it?"

  Kurt nodded. "You'll meet with the Moroad women in two days and get them ready for the weekend. Bantorus will have your back, nothing changes."

  She pursed her lips. Everything would change. Silver Girls would have to welcome new women from another club. Territory lines were no longer permanent. The bitches would have to put up with their men looking at other women and losing some attention from the customers. Her body tensed. Ink would have new warm females to admire.

  "Are the Moroad women off limits to Bantorus members?" she asked.

  "Yeah. They'll be under our protection during working hours only. They belong to Moroad."

  "Okay." She yawned, covering her mouth. "I'll handle the rest."

  "Go to bed, hon. You look like you're about ready to fall down." Risa shifted, straining to move her baby belly. "I need to get up to bed myself."

  Kurt slid out from under Risa's legs and stood at her side, helping her up. Lilly warmed at the family scene playing out in front of her. She'd known Kurt forever and to see the quiet, stubborn boy go from solemn man to a caring family man brought a smile to her heart.

  "Night," she said, leaving the room and giving them privacy.

  Upstairs in the spare bedroom, she kicked off her heeled boots and flopped down on the bed. Changes were coming, and she didn't have enough information to understand if they were good or bad. She dragged her phone out of her pocket and swiped the screen.

  Like she did every night, she texted Ink before she went to sleep. Sweet dreams.

  Instantly, she received a reply. Night, Ace.

  And just like that, he'd soothed over her hurt feelings. The same way he had for the last ten years when she'd first worked up the courage to text him on her new phone she got for her twelfth birthday and he'd shocked her by replying. Since then, she'd never missed a night, and he always responded, no matter how bad things got or how angry he was at her. Sometimes they'd text for a while. Other times, they left everything unspoken.

  Chapter Five

  Behind the Sterling Building, three Moroad MC members shook hands with the Bantorus members on security duty. Ink stepped forward and grasped the hand of the Moroad president, Cam. A tall, muscled man with long black hair tied low on his neck. Ink firmly squeezed Cam's hand and dipped his chin. Nothing more, nothing less.

  Ink moved down the line, shaking hands with the V.P., Gunner. Shorter by a couple inches, Gunner's upper arms were tattooed with green prison ink and showed off two machine guns. The rest of his ink work was indescribable, seeing as how the lines were blurred, the shading uneven, and most pieces were half-ass unfinished tribal symbols.

  "Nice tats," Gunner said, looking at Ink's arms.

  Ink fought the desire to fold his arms. "Thanks."

  "I'm Stache." Another rider stepped forward, skipping the handshake and dipping his chin.

  "Ink." Ink never heard what position Stache rode, but he figured he got his road name from the fucking long mustache that he grew out on the sides and hung past his chin.

  "We appreciate Bantorus MC letting our women work," Cam laid his hand on Kurt's shoulder. "As agreed, we'll be dropping off and picking up the women. Most of our members are working in the mine at night, so if there's a problem, you'll contact me."

  "There shouldn't be any problems." Kurt stepped back. "Ink. Give them an escort."

  Cam shook his head. "That's not necessary. We'll be out of town before anyone notices."

  The three Moroad members got on their motorcycles and rode off without another word. Even with their absence, the tension in Ink's shoulders remained. It went against everything he was comfortable with to have another MC in Bantorus territory.

  "All right, let's get back inside." Kurt turned and opened the door.

  Ink followed the rest of them into the Sterling Building and took a seat at the back table reserved for Bantorus members when Lilly came over and talked to Kurt. He eyed them carefully, wishing he could hear what they were discussing. He rubbed his shoulder, not liking the way Kurt put his hand on Lilly's back or sheltered her out of his view. He couldn't see her face, her eyes, or her expressions. He had no fucking clue what was going on, and his standings within the club made it impossible to tell Kurt to back off.

  If she was his woman, he'd have that right.

  If she was his old lady, he'd have her out of here and protected.

  But he had nothing.

  Music started and the customers' attention went to the front of the room. Ink's gaze remained on the half of Lilly's body he could see. He had no interest in the performance.

  Kurt and Lilly walked together to the table. Ink could feel Kurt's eyes on him, but it was a free country. He wasn't touching her, and he could look all he wanted.

  "Good job on getting the girls ready for tonight, Lilly," Stripper scooted over making room for Lilly between him and Kurt. "You got some lookers."

  "The Moroad women are willing to work. We'll have to see if the customers approve of the added dancers." Lilly tapped her long fingernail against the table.

  Even over the music and the shuffling of customers as they moved closer to the girls on the other side of the room, Ink could hear the tap, tap, tap of Lilly's fingers drumming the wood surface and almost feel the sharpness of her nails against his back. He folded his arms across his chest.

  There was more to what Lilly was thinking and wasn't saying. Something was on her mind, and whatever it was, it had her on edge. He glanced at the others. Their eyes focused on the other side of the room, away from Lilly.

  He caught her gaze, and she stayed with him. Yeah, something was going on and she hadn't told the others. He looked away, staring blindly at one of the women dancing. He had to find a way to get her alone. Kurt had her under surveillance, and the other Bantorus members were watching his every move.

  Fuck that. His warning was lifted. He could talk to her with everyone around as witnesses.

  He leaned against the table. "Get up."

  Lilly glanced at Kurt and the others before standing.

  No one told her to sit or for him to back off. He walked around the table, motioning for her to follow him. Situating himself between her and the others, he bent his knees, catching her gaze and making her look at him. "What's going on?"

  "Ink, you're going to get in trouble," she said, leaning close to him.

  "No one can hear us with the music and we're in plain fucking sight. They can't say a damn word."

  "But, you can't—"

  "Ace." He lowered his chin. "What's worrying you?"

  "The men you were talking to outside." She barely talked loud enough for him to hear, but he'd caught enough. "I saw one of them in Pitnam years ago when he came to talk to dad about joining up with Bantorus."

  Ink nodded. It wasn't unusual for convicts to contact local motorcycle clubs and find a way in. Although Bantorus had their share of men who'd seen the inside of the state pen, they never actively sought ou
t any bikers they had to build trust with from the ground up. They preferred to bring in the younger crowd and start them off on the right foot without a label on their head and enemies at their back.

  "Did you take your concerns to Kurt?," he said. "If he doesn't answer you, know everything is being dealt with, okay?"

  "Yeah, he said he knew enough about the situation to be okay about it." Her gaze flickered to the side and she leaned in. "Thanks for asking me what was wrong, but you need to stay away from me before—"

  "Not your problem, Ace." He wanted to touch her and show her how he had everything under control, the ban was off, and despite knowing he still couldn't touch her, it was better than walking around wondering when his patches were going to get ripped away from him. "Only thing you have to worry about is yourself. Don't worry about what I'm doing or not doing. You have to trust me, Ace."

  "I do." She nodded, pressing her lips together.

  He returned to his chair and tilted back, doing what he had to do to not look at her. Someone needed to rein her in and from experience; no one was able to succeed. Usually, he was the exception. She'd allow him to bring her around, keep her safe, and put her feet on solid ground again.

  To everyone else, Lilly was capable of taking care of herself. Only he saw through the tough girl shield she erected. He inhaled deeply, helpless to understand why she picked him all those years ago. Why could he see the desire she had to let someone else take control and nobody else in the club could? That absolute trust she handed him, and only him, always surprised him.

  Forced to hold on until the club gave their permission for them to be together, he'd made the decision to wait. Walking away would be easy. There were women everywhere. But there was only one Lilly. If it took his whole life or until Rain finally kicked the bucket for him to prove himself worthy of having her, he would.

  The music changed, and one Moroad woman named Jessie danced forward to the miners, while the other ladies went and changed costumes. Ink took in her wide hips, bouncing tits, and the hungry expression on her face. The woman had experience around men and knew what they wanted.

 

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