“How do you think she was able to do this, Mary?”
“I doona know, lass. Perhaps, the book’s magic allowed the writing to show through.”
“Do you think it would work both ways? I need to let her know that I’m safe and that I’m looking for the ring, as well.” I held the book tightly to my chest as if by cradling it I was holding on to a piece of my mother.
“I doona see why not. It willna hurt for ye to try. But do ye mean it, lass? Are ye truly looking for the ring?”
I understood her meaning well enough. She seemed to have a better understanding of my feelings than I did, and she knew that part of me didn’t want to return home.
“Yes, Mary. I am looking. I know that we have to find the ring. I can’t deny the feelings I have for Eoin, but I won’t share them with him. It’s too selfish for me to stay here. My mom deserves to have me back. Blaire deserves the chance to be able to return to her home. And besides, I doubt Eoin feels the same way.”
Mary reached forward and rubbed the side of her thumb down the side of my cheek in a motherly fashion. “Ach, lass. I believe he does care for ye as ye do him. That’s why it troubled me so to see ye walking toward the castle so happy with one another. I doona want this to hurt both of ye.”
“It’s too late for that, Mary. It hurts me now just to think of it.”
Mary smiled as she turned to leave me alone in the spell room. “I know it does, lass. It hurts me to think of ye leaving as well. I’ve come to love ye like I would a daughter. Write to yer mother. It will do her good to know that ye are safe.”
“I will. Thank you, Mary.”
Once she was gone and I could no longer hear her footsteps on the stairs leading out of the basement, I placed the spell book back on the desk and crawled on top of the stool, pulling my knees in toward me as I buried my head and cried.
I wasn’t accustomed to allowing my emotions to affect me so drastically. Living alone for so long, I’d made it a habit of pushing away anyone who dared interrupt my set routines and the comfortable, albeit lonely, life I’d created for myself. If I allowed myself to feel too much, I made myself vulnerable, and that was a feeling that my control-freak personality absolutely rebelled against. Hence why none of the countless men Mitsy had set me up with ever made it past date three.
So, how was it that Eoin had been able to slip inside the confines of my heart so easily? I didn’t know, but I loved him. I knew it without question. But I also knew that it didn’t matter. This decision affected the lives of too many others, and I couldn’t be so selfish as to only consider my own heart.
If no one else were involved—not my mother, not Blaire, not Arran and his love for Blaire—I would gladly cease searching for the ring and stay here forever. But that wasn’t the case, and no number of tears was going to change that.
Drying my eyes on the sleeve of my dress, I unfolded my legs and stood to go and look for a pen and inkwell with which to write a message back to my mother.
I found them quickly and, leaving as much room around the edges of the spell as I could so that we could communicate further if the message worked, I scribbled simply, “I’m safe, Mom. We haven’t found the ring yet, but we are searching. Take care of Blaire. I know she must be ready to return home. I love you. Write back if you get this.”
Inhaling deeply to push back the remnants of unshed tears, I turned and walked out of the room, leaving the message for my mother to see.
It was time to find that freaking ring. Or, apparently, we would all die trying.
Chapter 31
“Come in.” The knock startled him. He’d expected to be left alone until morning. When Arran walked through the doorway, Eoin was sure his face showed his disappointment. Part of him had hoped Bri would seek him out before bed.
“May I talk to ye a moment, brother?” Arran walked through the room, stopping to sit in one of the two chairs situated in front of the room’s fireplace.
Eoin joined him, sitting opposite. “O’course. How did the meetings and training go while we were away?”
“All went well. Everyone in the village has been informed, and they are working together to strengthen defenses. All people outside castle grounds will come to stay at the castle the same night as Kinnaird and MacChristy’s men. We will leave the village empty so that they have no one to attack there.”
“Good. With both clans coming, I’m no so worried about the upcoming attack. How’s the runaway lad been? Is he working well for Kip?” Eoin leaned over the side of the chair and, grabbing a poker, stoked the dulling fire.
“Aye. Kip said he’s caused him no trouble, but there’s little to keep them both busy. I borrowed him for a task once while ye were away. That’s actually why I came to speak with ye.”
The fire now burning full flame once again, Eoin returned the poker to its home and sat back in his seat to look his brother in the eye. “Aye?”
“I spent some time looking for the ring that ye need for the spell. I found it. It was buried with father.” Arran reached out and placed it in Eoin’s hand.
“Arran…tell me ye dinna do it?”
Arran stood defensively. “Aye, I could no bring myself to do it, so I had the lad retrieve the ring once we unearthed Father. Ye had to know that’s where the ring was. It was the only place we had yet to look.”
“Aye, I’ll no lie and say I dinna know it was a possibility. But I doona think we need it anymore.”
“Doona need it? Christ, Eoin, have ye gone mad? The lass canna stay here.”
Eoin cringed as the thought of her leaving caused an uncomfortable pain to hit him right below his ribs. “Aye, she can. She’s my wife, Arran, whether I knew it was her that I married or no. If ye hadna gone and pried the ring off of our father’s dead finger, then she wouldna had a choice. I canna lose her, Arran. I’m no going to give her the ring.”
Arran paced the room as if shocked by Eoin’s words. “Ye doona have a choice, Eoin! I know that ye care for the lass, but it is no fair to leave Blaire there. I willna let ye do it.”
“Ye have no say in it, Arran. And why do ye care about leaving Blaire where she is? She’s a wretched lass.” Eoin watched Arran prowl the room, struggling to rein in his anger. Arran’s passion on the subject confused him greatly.
“Blaire’s no so bad, Eoin. What makes ye think that Bri no longer wants to go home? Has she told ye that?”
The question threw him. It hadn’t until that moment crossed his mind that she wouldn’t want to stay. He knew he’d tried to make it sound as if he knew she was planning on leaving once they found the ring, but deep down he thought she’d choose not to go.
But Arran was right. She’d never said anything to him about staying here. Still, she’d shown him with her affection how much she cared for him.
“No, but I doona think she’s too concerned with finding the ring now. She will no mind having to stay.”
“Do ye really think so? Go and see where she is right now, Eoin. Ye will find her in the spell room, looking desperately for the ring that ye hold in yer hand. She will never forgive ye if ye keep it from her. She must at least be given the choice.”
Eoin stared down at the ring, not looking up as his bedchamber door slammed shut at Arran’s abrupt departure.
Surely Arran was wrong. After the long journey back from Kinnaird Castle, the lass would be too tired to search for the ring tonight. And after the way she’d cried out in his arms, letting him hold her through the night, would she even want to?
It didn’t really matter. Even if she still did want to return home, he knew he couldn’t bring himself to let her go. She’d captured his heart completely and he didn’t want to spend his life with any other. If she didn’t love him already, he could make her love him with time.
He just had to make sure she didn’t find out that Arran had found the ring.
With re-hiding the ring set as his task, he left his bedchamber to head for the outer wall of the castle, intent on chunking it into the
ocean. He paused briefly at Bri’s bedchamber door, hoping to catch a sound of her moving about the room.
When he heard nothing, he quietly lifted the handle to peek inside, hoping to catch a glimpse of her sleeping soundly in the large bed. She wasn’t there. His heart sank as he took in the vacant room. Changing his path of direction, he turned to make his way to the spell room in search of her.
As he descended into the castle’s basement, he found himself hoping that she wouldn’t be there either. He desperately wanted Arran to be wrong.
He heard her moving about the room before he saw her. Frantically lifting books and shifting through shelves, she jumped when he spoke to her. “Ye should be in bed asleep, lass. It’s been a long day.”
“Eoin. Gosh, you scared the crap out of me. What are you doing down here?”
“I looked in on ye in yer bedchamber, but ye were no there.”
“Oh. Yeah. I’m about to go to bed. Here, wait and I’ll follow you up.” She blew out the candle and reached out for his hand in the dark.
He took it as he walked toward the staircase on the other side of the basement. “What were ye doing, lass?”
“Just going through the things in the spell room, looking for the ring.”
The words cut through him, just as if she’d run a dagger straight through his heart. He couldn’t keep the lass here against her will. Arran was right. He knew he had to give her a choice.
He stopped and pulled her close to him just before they entered the staircase. He wrapped his arms around her, kissing the top of her head as she murmured into his chest.
“Is everything alright, Eoin?”
“Aye, lass, all is well. Tomorrow evening, would ye accompany me somewhere? I’d like to surprise ye with something.”
He felt her grin against his chest. “Of course. I love surprises.”
Tomorrow he would tell her everything; tell her that he found the ring, tell her that he loved her, tell her that he didn’t want her to leave. He would place his heart in her hands. And the choice would be hers.
Chapter 32
I woke early the next morning, anxious to get to the spell room to see if the message had worked and Mom had replied. I did my best not to get my hopes up, but it didn’t work well as I threw on the simplest dress I had and hurried down into the basement.
Carrying the lantern from my room, I shared the flame with the candles scattered around the work table and waited for the room to light up as I nervously glanced down at the parchment.
It had worked, and I smiled and dragged my finger over her markings as I read the words aloud to myself.
“Sweet Mother of God, I’m glad to know that you are safe, baby. I’m sure one of us will find the ring, and we will have the two of you switched back soon. Now that I know you’re safe, I can tell you how jealous I am that you’re there, getting to meet and live with the very people I’ve spent my life trying to learn about. I can’t wait to hear all of the wonderful stories you must
have. I miss you, darling and I love you more than you will ever know.”
No doubt that was Mom. She wrote just like she spoke, and it relieved some of my anxiety to know that she would no longer be as worried for my safety. I was reaching to grab the ink and pen and write back when handwriting different from the others on the page caught my eye.
Scribbled in fine lettering beside my first message to Mom, the words were so tiny that I’d almost missed them. I was sure Blaire had scribbled them, and the words caused my breath to catch in my throat.
Right next to my own mention of how much I knew Blaire must be ready to return home, she had written,
“I canna go back. I want to stay here.”
I sat down on the bench in front of the table and read her words once more for good measure. An uncontrollable excitement spread throughout me as I took in her words a fourth and fifth time. If Blaire didn’t want to come back here, was there really any reason why I had to leave?
I already knew deep down that I didn’t want to return home. Strangely enough, I fit here in this time, with these people, with Eoin. But I couldn’t bring myself to make that decision for the others involved. I couldn’t deny Blaire the right to return to her home, I couldn’t deny Arran the chance to see the woman he loved again, and I couldn’t deny my mother the knowledge that I was okay.
Now that I was able to communicate with Mom, no matter how small the form, she would at least know that I was safe and happy. That’s all she wanted for me anyway, and if she knew that I’d found happiness here, she would be able to make her peace with that in time.
It would be hard for Arran to accept Blaire’s absence, but if her writing was any indication, it didn’t seem to me that she reciprocated his feelings. Perhaps it would be easier for him to move on believing she still loved him but couldn’t return home, rather than have her returned to him and find he was unwanted.
I’d left the spell room the night before heartsick, knowing that each time I went to sleep, I would wake up with one less day that I would get to spend here. Today, the possibility of being able to spend all of my days here had me on the edge of pure elation.
But there was still one factor I wasn’t taking into account. I was assuming, most likely foolishly, that Eoin wanted me to stay. He was kind, attentive, loving, and seemingly sad when the topic of my leaving came up in conversation. That being said, I knew that knowing he would miss me and him wanting me to stay beside him forever were two very different things.
I wasn’t the woman he’d agreed to or thought he had married. And he’d yet to verbally express his feelings for me. Was I willing to make myself so vulnerable to him by telling him how much I loved him, how desperately I didn’t want to leave him, with the hope that he would match my own feelings?
The thought terrified me, but I didn’t see how I had any choice. I knew myself well enough to know that the regret I would have over not taking the risk would be far more painful than the heartbreak I would feel if he didn’t want me in his life.
I loved him too much to leave him. Whether we had years to love or just days left, I would treasure my time with him forever.
I was unsure of where he was taking me tonight, but it would allow me the perfect opportunity to tell him I no longer wanted to go home.
With my mind set, I nervously made my way out of the spell room and went in search of Mary. I was going to be an anxious wreck all day, and I knew she would keep me busy. Plus, maybe she could help me find a sexier dress. I was going to need whatever I could manage to help me keep my cool.
* * *
Arran was already past his boiling point, and his anger over Eoin’s selfishness had him ready to spring on the first bastard unlucky enough to cross paths with him. Unfortunately for himself, it was Kip who he decided to unleash his anger on. He couldn’t have made a worse decision.
It was early afternoon when Arran stormed out of the castle, planning to get some fresh air. As he walked toward the stables, he saw Kip’s runaway walking casually in the direction of the village. It was the only excuse he needed.
Making as much noise as he could manage, he walked into the side door of the stables, knowing it would draw Kip’s attention. Kip held a pitchfork and was working on maneuvering hay around to the different stalls.
“Where the hell did ye let him go, Kip?”
He was rewarded with a smack right in the middle of his forehead as Kip brought the end of the wooden stick forward, slamming it into his face.
“Now, what did ye say, Arran? I do believe ye thought ye were talking to someone else for a moment.”
Rubbing the now red and tender spot in between his brows, Arran blushed with embarrassment at his behavior. “I’m sorry, Kip. I’m no in the best humor. Now, where is the lad off to? Do ye no need him today?”
“He said he had some errands he needed to attend to in the village, and I saw no harm in letting him go. I doona ever need him, I do a fine job running the stable all on me own.”
Arr
an poked his head around the stable door to make sure he could still see him off in the distance. “Do ye trust him, Kip?”
The old man stopped fussing with the hay and leaned against the stall door as he spoke to Arran. “The lad has given me no reason not to, and I think it’s best to let people prove ye wrong before ye go about mistrusting everybody.”
“Do ye? Well, I’m no so good a man as ye, Kip.” Arran turned and followed along on the path leading to the village. The runaway was up to nothing good. Arran could feel it, and he intended to find out what it was.
Chapter 33
“I’m no gonna cut the neckline any further. Do ye no want them to stay in the dress at all?”
I rolled my eyes as I glanced down at the very modest v-cut I’d spent the better half of the afternoon talking Mary into cutting into the gown. “It’s not even that low, Mary, but to answer your question, I’m not all that concerned with them staying in the dress very long.”
“Oh, hush, lass. Ye will make an old lady blush with such talk. I’m glad that ye have decided to stay, but ye doona need these alterations to entice Eoin into wanting ye around.”
“I’m not trying to entice him. I’m trying to make myself feel as pretty as I can so I feel confident before I tell him what I have to say. With no make-up or hair straightener, a girl’s got to do what a girl’s got to do around here.”
“Fine, lass, but please tell me ye decided no to wear that strange object ye wear under yer shirt when in the spell room.”
I smiled and reached over to grab my bra off the top of the bed. “No, Mary. I’m definitely still going to wear my bra. He knows I’m not from here now, so it won’t be a huge surprise for him to see something odd on me. Besides, it lifts the girls up, and they’ll look better in the dress. Watch.”
Morna's Legacy: Box Set #1 Page 17