Mom had responded to my message the following morning, playing it upbeat as always, but I could see the tear stains on the parchment where she’d cried. She was happy that I was happy, but she was as heartbroken as I was at our separation from one another. We’d written back and forth over the days leading up to the battle as I did my best to assure her that the fate of the Conalls would no longer stay the same now that we had reinforcements headed our way.
I wondered how it would affect everything on the other side of history if we succeeded. I hoped that I would still be able to use the book to communicate with my mother if the castle never ended up being destroyed. If we were defeated, it didn’t really matter.
Dusk had long since crept over the castle, and with each passing hour the tension throughout the castle heightened. Both the MacChristys and the Kinnairds should have arrived at the castle by now, and, although Eoin was trying his hardest to remain calm, I could tell that my hovering, nervous energy was doing nothing to help the situation.
I walked over to him and placed a hand on his shoulder as he sat in one of the studies on the main floor staring out the window for any sign of the clans’ arrival. “Would you like me to leave you alone for a while?”
He reached up, latched onto my hand, and pulled me down onto his lap. “Aye, lass. It’s no that I doona want ye here. But there’s no need for ye to stay up so late worrying with me. I’m sure they were only delayed and will arrive sometime during the night. Go on up to bed, lass, and I’ll join ye once both clans have been settled around the castle. It will calm me to know that ye are soundly asleep.”
I knew I wouldn’t sleep until he came up to the bedchamber, but he was doing his best to politely tell me to beat it, and I didn’t blame him. Leaning in to give him a quick kiss, I turned and made my way upstairs.
* * *
It was well into the deepest part of the night when Arran alerted him that Ramsay’s men were almost to the castle. Eoin stood from the seat in his study and went to the castle’s entrance to greet them.
He’d expected Ramsay to burst through the doors with some elaborate tale which would explain their late arrival and have them all laughing and breaking into the ale within minutes. Instead, as Ramsay Kinnaird pushed his way into the castle’s main foyer, Eoin knew instantly something had gone terribly wrong.
Ramsay and his men, their clothes wet from the rain and splashed with mud, looked as if they’d been riding hard through the night. Their faces were panicked and frightened.
Eoin didn’t bother with greetings as he rushed to grab Laird Kinnaird, who appeared as if he was about to fall over from exhaustion.
“What is it, man? What’s happened?”
“Ach, Eoin! I’m afraid we’ve all underestimated Laird MacLyrron’s forces. We only just escaped in time. And I was forced to bring not only me men, but my daughter and all the women and children.”
Eoin blanched and suddenly felt unsteady on his feet as he took in the news. “So they doona only plan to attack us. They tried to attack yer territory as well?”
Ramsay spoke in between over-exaggerated gasping breaths. “Aye. I believe he split up his men and sent half to my keep and half to the MacChristy’s. For when we passed through Donal’s territory…” Ramsay paused as if unable to finish.
A terrifying sense of dread crept over Eoin’s heart.
“What is it, man? What did ye find at Donal’s?” Eoin ushered Ramsay over to the staircase in the center of the room, and they both collapsed onto the stone steps next to one another.
“The MacChristys will no be coming to our aide. They’re all gone, Eoin. The clan MacChristy has been completely wiped out. Women, children, livestock, all. Laird MacLyrron left nothing alive. And now he’s headed in our direction.”
Bile rose in Eoin’s throat. If what Ramsay said was true, their hopes of surviving the attack were greatly diminished. “Do ye think with our combined men we can stand against them?”
Eoin took in Ramsay’s pained expression and knew his response before he spoke.
“Nay. I doona believe we can. He has three times the number of men we do. The best we can hope for is to hide our women and children as long as we can, and nay let them take us without a fight.”
“How far away are they? Do we have time to prepare at all?”
“Aye. A group of my men were scouting their location. Tis how we were warned they were headed our way. They are reconvening to gather after splitting directions. They’ve camped for the night in between my castle and what was the MacChristy’s keep. They canna make it here before tomorrow night.”
“A small mercy, but at least yer men shall be able to get a short time of rest before we prepare for battle and hide the women tomorrow. We shall all need our strength. While I know sleep is likely to escape us all tonight, I think we should all try. Tell yer men they are welcome to set camp anywhere on castle grounds. I will show ye to yer chamber. Yer daughter may stay in my mother’s old room. Blaire resides with me.”
“Thank ye, Eoin. It calms an old man’s heart to know he will die beside such a fine laird and ally. Let us reconvene in the morning.”
* * *
Eoin opened the door to his bedchamber as quietly as he could, although he knew Bri would still be awake waiting for him. He kept his back to her as he blew out the candles next to the bed. Then he undressed and crawled in beside her.
If he let her see his face, she would know something was wrong, and he couldn’t bear for her to know just yet. He wanted one last night, as sleepless as it would be for him, to hold her in his arms and thank the heavens for sending the lass throughout time to find him.
He finally knew the love that his own father had shared with his mother. When his mother had died, it had taken every fiber of strength his father possessed to keep on living. His love for her never ceased, and Eoin had known it had been her name on his father’s mind and heart as he’d watched his father take his last breath.
He’d never understood how a lass could have such a hold on someone’s heart. Eoin grew up wondering why his father never remarried; he would’ve if it had been he who’d lost his wife. It was unnatural for a man to live alone so long, and how many years did it take for a heart to heal anyways? Surely not a lifetime.
But all of that was before Bri. And now, as he held her in his arms, feeling the warmth of her skin so vibrant and alive against him, he knew exactly the power a woman could wield over a man’s soul.
He loved her beyond reason, beyond hope, beyond time.
Her voice in the darkness, rattled him from his thoughts and he pulled her in closely against him, kissing her hair.
“Did they finally arrive? What kept them so long?”
“Aye, lass. Only some bad weather slowed them. All is well.”
It was the only lie he would tell her, but he would allow himself to be selfish, just this night. For Eoin loved the lass too much to watch her die. And after sunrise, although it pained him more than the thought of his own death, he would take the lass down into the spell room one last time. And whether she wanted to or no, she would do the spell and return home.
Chapter 37
MacChristy Castle
Donal MacChristy found himself unable to sit still. He felt an unexplainable sense of unease as he paced back and forth down the halls of his castle. He suspected this was what life felt like for the many ghosts that roamed the halls of the ancient castle, and when he unexpectedly collided with a figure around the corner he thought momentarily that perhaps he’d run into a real one.
He started at the sight of his most trusted housekeeper, Blaire’s old maid and tutor, reeling back from the impact. “What are ye doing awake at this time o’ night, lass? Ye should have been away long before now.”
The elderly woman nodded and extended a plaid cloth in his direction, nearly screaming to accommodate the laird’s bad ear. “Aye, perhaps. I’ve no been sure whether I should show ye something, but I’ve decided tis best that I do.”
&
nbsp; Donal took the strip torn from the bottom of a kilt into his hands and turned it over as the sense of unease crept back into his mind. “Where did ye find this?”
“It was in the bedchamber of the lad that came from Conall Castle.”
“Aye?” The colors on the tartan were not the same as the Conall colors.
“Aye, sir. And there is something else as well, sir.”
“Get on with it then. Tell me please.”
“When the lad set out this afternoon, he didn’t ride in the direction of Conall Castle. He rode in the opposite direction. I thought it odd at the time, but when I found this in the room, my suspicions grew. Are these no the colors of Ramsay Kinnaird?”
Donal instantly understood, and his heart nearly stopped for fear of his daughter and allies. “Christ, the bastard’s fooled us! Sound the alarm and gather all the men at once. We must ride for Conall Castle immediately and hope they are no all dead already!”
* * *
Conall Castle
Once Arran was certain Eoin was retired for the evening and Ramsay and his men had set up camp, he quietly snuck away to the dungeon to continue his interrogation of the runaway.
Arran had stood quietly in the castle’s main entrance, listening to Ramsay’s story, and while it was worrisome, there was an untruth laced in Ramsay’s sad words and somber face that Arran could see—even if Eoin was too besotted with his wife to see anything else clearly.
His brother was a good man, better than himself, but at least Arran knew that sometimes a person’s eyes told more truth than their mouth. Eoin was too trusting of the man their father had called friend, but Arran could see the almost pleased expression in Ramsay’s eyes as he told Eoin his tale of woe.
And he was now more certain than ever that the lad he kept in the dungeon knew something about what was going on.
“It seems that yer master has already attacked one of our allies. Why did ye no tell us that he would attack other territories as well?” Arran twisted the leather and wood contraption he’d laced around the runaway’s arm, popping the lad’s shoulder out of socket.
The runaway screamed in agony before choking out a response. “He’s no my master.”
Arran smiled at the small progress. “Nay? Well, that’s a start at the truth. Let me leave ye with something to encourage ye to tell me the rest.” Arran wrapped the leather around the man’s other arm and quickly twisted the wooden handle until a snapping sound caused the man to nearly pass out from pain.
“I’ll visit ye in the morning, and if ye are nay ready to tell the truth, expect to lose some of yer less necessary bits, piece by piece.”
Even if he had to kill the bastard, the truth of what the lad knew would come out tomorrow.
Chapter 38
I did my best to feign sleep, and while I did drift occasionally, Eoin’s tense arms wrapped around me told me everything his reassuring words hadn’t. Something was definitely wrong, and I suspected he was just waiting until daylight to tell me.
Anxious to hear whatever it was he didn’t want to confide in me, I stirred in his arms at first light, trying to make it seem as if I was just waking up.
“Did ye sleep well, lass?” He didn’t release me from his hold, and I was forced to look up at him awkwardly with my head pressed against his chest to respond.
“Better than you, I think. Something’s wrong. Just tell me.”
He stood then, and I was able to see just how dark the circles under his eyes were. Not only had he not gotten any sleep, something was bothering him terribly.
“Aye, lass. I need to take ye somewhere. Put on yer clothes and join me. I’ll wait for ye out in the hall.”
Once he’d gone I leapt out of the bed, throwing clothes on as quickly as I could manage, desperate to put an end to my wondering. I knew men had arrived late into the night; I’d listened to the commotion from the windowsill and watched as they’d set up camp. With reinforcements here, I couldn’t imagine what had Eoin so upset.
He pulled me down the hall quickly as he yanked me into the stairwell leading to the spell room, an imaginary knife slipped into my side. No way was he about to do what I thought. No way was he about to send me home after everything. He was a damned fool if he thought I was going anywhere.
I jerked free from his grasp as he reached to light the candles around the dark room. “What the hell do you think you are doing, Eoin? There’s nothing for us to do down here. We should be upstairs, preparing for the battle.”
I watched as he pulled out Morna’s ring and sat it on top of the open spell book. “There’s no going to be a battle, lass. All that’s left is a slaughter, and I’ll no let ye stay here to die.”
Shock coursed through my system, making it hard for me to understand his words. “What are you talking about? Everyone’s arrived. Odds are they’ll show up here, see your numbers, and there won’t be a fight anyway. I know you’re worried, but don’t be so dramatic.”
He shook his head somberly. “Nay, love. No everyone did arrive. The MacChristys were slaughtered, lass. All. The Kinnairds barely escaped before their own castle was taken. Even with Ramsay’s men, we will be outnumbered. All within the walls of this castle will greet death today, and I canna let ye join us as well. Ye had a life in yer own time. Return to it. Leave, so that I can die knowing that I at least saved ye from my own fate.”
I ran to him them, shock and desperation making me cold as I threw my arms around him, seeking his warmth. “No. I won’t go, Eoin.”
“Ye must, lass. I’m no a controlling man, but I canna give ye a choice. Ye will do the spell.”
Tears broke loose, and I sobbed uncontrollably against him, my fear of losing him pushing away any embarrassment over my behavior. “I can’t…I can’t go back to my life before.” Sobs racked through my chest, and my head throbbed as if it might explode. “Not after you! I didn’t know before. I didn’t understand how little I had. I’d never be able to survive there now.”
He pried my arms loose from around his waist so that he could look down at me. He shook me roughly. “Now, listen to me. Doona ye tell me that ye won’t survive. Ye must. Knowing that I’ve kept ye safe is the only thing that will allow me to fight and die with my men and no flee from here like a coward. If ye love me, Bri, ye will go. And ye will live a long and happy life in yer own time.”
I shook my head as I sobbed, wailing uncontrollably, all rationale gone. “This is my time now. Don’t make me do it, Eoin. Please. Don’t send me away. If you loved me, you wouldn’t ask it.”
He slapped me, stunning me enough that my sobs subsided briefly.
“Doona ever say that I doona love ye. Do ye no understand what it takes of me to send ye back?”
“No! Because I would never ask it of you.” He’d released his grip on my arms, and I crushed myself against him once more, holding on less tightly, slowly surrendering. I knew his mind was made up.
“Aye, I expect ye would, love, but I know tis hard for ye to see now.”
“I’m scared, Eoin. I can’t stand the thought of leaving you. I’d rather die here.”
“Nay, lass. I’d be no help to my men if I had to worry about ye. Ye must go now so that we can prepare the best we can. If by some miracle we are spared, I swear to ye, I shall find a way back to ye. Even if I must don awful shreds of clothing like the ones ye love so much and travel into that strange place to get ye.”
I laughed against his chest. “I would love to see that. Eoin.”
“Aye, lass?”
“I need you once more. To feel you in me so that I can hold onto that memory and always know that you were real.” Despite my tears, I could hear how corny I sounded. I didn’t care.
He responded only by lifting my dress and picking me up off the ground so that he could plunge inside of me. We fell to the ground with a desperate passion that had us moving against one another so we both reached release almost instantly. It was over too quickly, but instead of standing he removed my dress so that I lay be
fore him naked. Silently he scattered a trail of warm kisses down my body.
“I am glad I shall die tonight, lass. For I doona think I could live a day without ye by my side. With each kiss I take a piece of ye to keep with me, and when I take my last breath, however it may find me, it shall be yer face that I see when my eyes close the last time.”
“Eoin,” I reached down to place my hand in his hair, coaxing him back up to me so that I could kiss him once more.
“It’s time, love. I canna stay to watch ye do the spell. I’m afraid I would stop ye from doing it. But ye must, just as I must now go to prepare the men. When I leave, change into yer strange clothes and do the spell as quickly as ye can.”
We stood, and he wrapped his arms around me one last time. “I shall always love ye beyond time itself. Even after I’m dead and buried, ye shall feel my love for ye wherever ye may go.”
He released his hold, and by the time I looked up he was gone. Dutifully, I set about to follow his last instructions.
Chapter 39
I should’ve been gone by now. Hours had passed since he’d left me standing naked in the spell room. And while I did break down and cry for the better part of an hour after he’d left, I was now strangely calm and collected.
I’d really had every intention of doing what he asked. I’d changed into my jeans, bra, t-shirt, and tennis shoes. I’d gathered all the materials for the spell and even started burning the herbs. But when I sat down to read the spell out loud, I realized the words just weren’t going to come out of my mouth.
There was no way in hell I was going through with the spell. I didn’t care that Eoin wanted to die knowing I was safe. That would be no comfort to me as I moved miserably through life without him, scrubbing snot off the backs of school chairs. I’d said vows, albeit while I thought I was in a coma. But I meant them now, and I was not going to oblige him. Screw the sense of duty he felt over keeping me safe. Deep down he didn’t really want me gone, even if he was too noble to let himself admit it.
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