I laughed, twisting to the side so that Bri could help me with the laces. “Aye, I look forward to the day. I hope me hair grows fast. Being back here, it suddenly feels too short.”
“Doona worry about that, lass. It is no that short, but as to the clothing, ye both would be fools to do such a thing. If the wrong people were to see ye dressed in such a way, they’d have ye burnt for witchcraft, and they wouldna all together be lying. Now, let’s go and make our return known.” Eoin turned and left, leaving Bri and me alone in the small spell room.
Bri turned to follow her husband, but I reached out and placed a hand on her arm to stop her. “Bri, do ye think Arran will be pleased that I am here? I’m quite nervous to see him.” She reached up and squeezed me hand.
“I really think he will. Don’t be nervous. We will look for Mary and my mother first. I don’t expect Arran will be in the castle anyhow. He spends most of his time either in the stables with Kip or drinking in the village.”
Taking a deep breath, I followed her out of the spell room. Nerves were senseless. I knew they would do nothing to change the outcome of whatever reunion was about to occur.
* * *
The room grew warm as Eoin, Bri, Adelle, Mary, and meself sat surrounding the work table in Mary’s kitchen. That’s where we’d found Adelle and Mary, and the excitement of their welcome had quickly become a muddled chaos by everyone seeming to speak at once.
Eventually we’d sat together, each person eager to hear a different set of news. I feigned attention for most of the time as I anxiously awaited the answer to one question I was too afraid to ask meself.
When Eoin finally said it out loud, my entire body went numb pricked with a thousand pins, at Mary’s response.
“He isna here, Eoin. All of Kinnaird’s clansmen have left, and his former territory shall now be known as a Conall territory as well. He is laird there now, and he has married Edana.”
“What?” Bri’s voice questioned her, her voice shrill and panicked as she glanced at me uncomfortably.
“Aye. I’m afraid ’tis true. They left here only a few nights ago.” Mary cast her eyes downward.
I could tell that she was not pleased by the news she had to share with us. I was helpless in discerning me own feelings, the excited hope and bright future I’d been imagining suddenly dying like the candle I found meself staring in to. At least he wasn’t here to tell me this himself. The words from his mouth would have felt like rejection all over again. Perhaps now I could simply leave, return home to me father whom I was sure would be more than happy to marry me off to another man of his choosing.
“Why didn’t you stop him?” Bri changed the direction of her words and was now addressing her mother.
“There was nothing we could do, Bri. You made us swear not to tell him where’d you actually gone. We couldn’t give him a good reason not to marry her without telling him what the two of you were up to.”
“I don’t care. That was the one reason good enough to break your promise.” Bri looked as if she was on the brink of tears herself.
Wanting to stop her, I let the one question at the forefront of me own mind slip out. “Does he love her?”
Silence rewarded me question as I watched Adelle and Mary share knowing glances with one another, both unsure of how to give me an answer.
“No.” Bri answered, but both Mary and Adelle nodded in agreement.
Somehow it seemed that both women thought that it would be even more devastating for me to learn he’d married if he was not in love with Edana. And perhaps it was.
For if Arran had married for love, I would have been left with no choice but to move on with me life. To grow old, certain in the knowledge that there was never any hope that it would be I who spent me life at his side.
But knowing that he didn’t love her, that would be more difficult for me to heal from. I would live every day wondering, hoping and wishing that he was thinking of me, wanting me by his side instead. I would live every day imagining what me life could have been like if his marriage had only been delayed by a few days.
Mary spoke next to tell Eoin even more news that had yet to be shared. “Yer Aunt Kenna arrived yesterday, Baodan, Eoghanan, and Niall as well. I am unsure of the reason for their visit, but I think ’tis time for ye to go and greet them, let them know that ye are back.”
Eoin stood and nodded. “Aye, o’course. I suspect they’ve come to pay their condolences about Father. They were in the midst of their own grief when he died. I should have reached out to them meself.”
“I’ll let you visit with them a moment. I’ll come up shortly. I want a chance to visit with Blaire. Alone.” Bri looked at both her mother and Mary. Understanding, they stood and followed Eoin out of the kitchen.
I stood and moved to the seat across from Bri and silently looked down at the table as I waited for her to speak.
“I’m so sorry. I’m so very, very sorry, Blaire. When we left, there was not the least bit of talk that Arran and Edana would marry. I scarcely saw the two of them together, and he never flirted with her. I never would’ve come to get you if I’d known.”
I wasna angry with her. Of course she wouldna have known, and Eoin certainly wouldna have asked me to return if he’d had any idea. “Ye doona need to apologize to me, Bri. I know that ye dinna know.”
“If you want to go back, I’ll go once more. I’ll help you get set up wherever you like. I can stay with you, teach you some things, get you a good job. I’ll even have all of my bank accounts transferred to you, whatever you’d like.”
“I doona wanna go back, Bri.” I looked up at her as she stood. I got the sudden sense that I wasna going to like whatever it was that she said next.
“I was hoping you would say that. But of course if you hadn’t, I really would’ve helped you go forward again. We’re going to go pay Arran a visit. Me and you. We’re leaving in the morning.”
I shook my head as forcefully as I could, now trying to emulate the frightening eyes I’d thought only earlier I wanted to do my best to avoid. “I will do no such thing. Are ye mad? What good would that bring?”
“I don’t know exactly. But I do know that you have to see him. You’ll wonder forever if you don’t, wonder if he still cares, wonder if you cared for him as much as you thought. If anything, perhaps it will bring you closure.”
I’d only known Bri a few weeks, but I could recognize enough of her mother in her to know arguing would not change her mind. “Is this no me decision to make?”
She smiled and shook her head. “No. Not at all. And don’t tell Eoin. He’ll only try to stop us from leaving. Meet me at the stables at dawn.”
She left before I could respond, and I was left to ponder through a sleepless night, just what new humiliation and heartbreak would await me at Arran’s new home.
Chapter 18
I was not even given the chance to follow Bri’s instructions and meet her down at the stables. Early the next morning with dawn still some time away from peeking through the night’s blackness, I heard a knock on the bedchamber door.
Still wide awake, I answered quickly to see Bri with a small bag draped over her shoulders. She couldn’t have looked any more excited.
“Come on, let’s go! I told Mary of our plan last night so that she could have Kip ready some horses. But don’t worry, she promised she wouldn’t tell Eoin. I think she’s trying to make amends for letting Arran get married.”
I shook my head in disagreement. “She has nothing to make amends for. Arran is no a man that is easily kept from doing what he wishes.”
Bri’s smile briefly disappeared as she stepped into the room to help me gather a few things for the journey. “You’re right. I shouldn’t have been so harsh on her or my mother. I owe them both an apology. And I’ll give them one just as soon as we get back, but right now, we need to go before Eoin rolls over and realizes I’ve gone.”
“Doona ye think he will be furious when he finds out? Do ye no think that he will come after us?”
Bri’s smile returned and I found that I was changing my opinion of her. I’d first thought her to be a rather serious mannered, laced-tight kind of person, but upon spending further time with her, I was learning that she was more mischievous than she let others know. “Well normally I believe yes, he would come after us immediately. But you see, there are guests here now, and I don’t think he will leave them. He’ll be spit-fire angry I’m sure, but he’ll get over it.”
“Aye, well he’s no me husband. If ye are certain we should go, I willna worry meself over it.” I picked up the bag Bri had filled and, moving as silently as we could, we made our way out the back entrance of the castle and to the stables.
A torch burned outside and as we approached. Bri called out to the old stable master, “Kip, are the horses ready?”
“Aye! I already sent Kip back to bed, but they are all ready for us to leave,” answered Mary’s voice.
Bri and I exchanged a questioning look. “Mary, what are you doing?” We could see inside the stables now. Bri approached Mary to question her. I stood back doing me best to refrain from laughing at the site of the short, round woman balancing astride the horse, beaming with the widest smile I’d ever seen on her.
“What does it look like I’m doing? I’m coming with ye. I’ve been telling Eoin and Arran for years that I needed a break. After the past few weeks, I feel I’ve earned it. Besides, I need to see with me own eyes how Arran is fairing in his new home.” She nudged the horse with her pudgy heels, and it took off at a slow trot out of the stables.
Neither of us argued. After mounting our horses, we followed her. Away from Conall Castle we went.
* * *
It turned out that Bri was perhaps a tad less adventurous than she’d wanted to be. By mid day she’d worried herself into such a state of guilt that she rode in complete silence with only her pained expression to keep us company.
I, on the other hand, enjoyed every minute of being astride a horse again. The feeling of being out of the city without the car horns and other modern-day noises that had kept me consistently nervous had me feeling more like meself than I had in ages. As long as I tried to keep our journey’s final destination out of me mind, I found meself even feeling happy.
Mary remained cheerful but consistently complained about the torture her backside was experiencing after riding atop a horse for such a long time. Me own backside was feeling the effects as well. The months away had softened me previously horse-accustomed bum.
Eventually, as the day progressed, Mary’s good humor found a way to crack Bri’s worry-creased brow, and the mood lightened. By the time we drew our horses up at the side of a small break in the trees to camp for the evening, all of our middles ached from laughter.
As we dismounted, our bodies stiff and achy, we slowly hobbled along as we made camp, each of us moving as if we were decades older than our given ages. I started a fire while Mary lay out the bread and cheese she’d packed for the journey. Bri went in the direction of a nearby stream to gather some water. Shortly thereafter, we each lay under the stars, our stomachs full and our bodies sore.
I was just on the edge of sleep, and I expected Bri was as well due to the loud snort that burst forth from her. Suddenly, Mary’s loud, overly-excited voice caused us to both sit up quite startled.
“What is it, Mary? Did something frighten ye?” I scooted closer to the fire so that I could see the expression on her face more clearly. She looked more excited than anyone should have been after riding for hours and sleeping on the ground.
“Aye, me bum was so sore I almost forgot what I took from Arran’s old room. Wake yerselves up, lassies. I have just the thing to soothe our aching bodies.”
Bri, who was sitting up but hunched over in a half asleep position, looked up at Mary from under heavy eyelids. “Sleep? Yes, I believe sleep will do the trick just fine.”
“Nay, ’tisna sleep, though I expect we shall all sleep quite soundly after we partake of what I’ve brought for us. Now wake yerself up.” Mary stood and made her way over to her bag propped up against a nearby tree. Reaching inside, she withdrew a large bottle of what was certain to be stronger than wine.
“Mary!” Bri was awake now as her shocked voice echoed through the open space around us, sending the maid into a fit of giggles.
“I told ye that I was in need of a break from me work and a break is what I shall have. I doona think there is anything wrong with Old Mary allowing herself just one night to be foolish. Now, ye lasses will join me whether ye like to or no.” She extended two wooden cups in our direction, and we each reached for one without question.
Once they were filled, we all sipped silently, our exhaustion making us far less enjoyable company than Mary seemed to desire. Eventually, I could take no more of Mary’s disappointed glares and turned to address Bri.
“Do ye know of any games? I couldna make sense of most of them, but when I was serving drinks in Edinburgh, people would at times play games while they were drinking.”
“Well, I’ll confess to my lack of drinking knowledge. Teaching gave me little time for a social life, but I suppose I know of one or two games we could play, if Mary still wishes to continue with her wild night.”
Mary nodded, smiling wide as she poured more into her cup. “Aye, o’course I do. Have ye yet to see me change me mind about something once it has been set?”
* * *
Shortly thereafter, Bri and I found ourselves tending to a very rambunctious Mary, whom twice had thought it would be a grand idea for us to take off our clothes and run naked through the break in the trees where we’d set up camp.
We’d both quickly done our best to divert her attention elsewhere.
The game ‘Never Have I Ever’ as described by Bri had started off innocently enough. We’d given Mary the opportunity to ask questions first.In her effort to get both of us drunk as well, she’d asked questions that only we could drink to such as, “never have I ever travelled through time.” But quickly the questions were turned over to Bri and me. It seemed no matter how wild our statements, Mary had participated in the activity. Soon, I’d learned things about Mary that not only shocked me but made me slightly nervous to be in her company. ’Twas certain neither of us would ever look at the woman quite the same way again.
Thankfully, what seemed to be a never-ending bottle of whiskey finally ran dry. Shortly after, an exhausted and what was sure to be a rather unpleasant Mary come morning, succumbed to sleep.
Chapter 19
Before sunrise, I rose to gather water. The trip hadn’t taken me long and while I’d expected to find both Mary and Bri still asleep, I returned to find Mary fully awake, busily ordering Bri to wake up and help her pack up camp. She showed no signs of suffering after her bountiful whiskey consumption, instead seeming rather more rested than both Bri and meself.
“How do ye feel, Mary? I was sure that ye’d sleep for quite a while longer.” I bent to roll up me own belongings, following Mary so that we could strap them to our horses.
“I doona know why ye would ask such a question. I feel fine, o’course.”
She wouldn’t look at me, keeping her head down as we gathered another load to bring back to the horses. Bri joined us this time and, having heard the beginning of our conversation, joined in. “How could you possibly feel fine, Mary? You drank more in the course of an evening than Arran drinks in a day. Do you even remember anything about last night?”
Mary stopped walking and whirled on both of us, quickly setting down her load. “Nay, I doona, and it doesna matter. Both of ye are never to mention what happened last night ever again. Do ye understand? I’ve never behaved in such a way, and I find meself feeling a wee bit ashamed this morning.”
I shook me head, interrupting her. “Doona feel that way. There’s no need.”
Bri nodded. “Yes, please don’t feel that way, Mary. You’ve been under a lot of stress with Eoin and me being gone, Arran leaving, and then the visitors. Not to mention, my mot
her.”
Mary smiled as she seemed to forgive herself just a little. “Aye. We shall blame it on yer mother. Now, let’s finish gathering camp and be on our way. I doona wish to spend another night on the ground. I believe that neither of ye will speak of this, no that anyone would believe ye even if ye did.”
She was right. No one would. Laughing, we packed up and mounted our horses. It took both Bri and meself to hoist Mary’s short legs up on the great beast. As we moved on in the direction of the new Conall Castle, I tried to keep me mind on anything other than the knowledge that I would be seeing Arran again, and meeting his new wife, come nightfall.
* * *
The Castle Formerly Known as Kinnaird
“Did we know that visitors were arriving?” Arran followed the messenger to the entranceway of the castle, all the while wondering if his new guests were just one more thing he’d forgotten. The many duties required by the laird were far more than he’d realized, and each day he found himself being more impressed with the way his brother had handled the responsibilities so soon after their father’s death.
“Nay, sir. Ye would have been informed if we had received news of their arrival beforehand. ’Tis three women, sir.”
Arran stopped before opening the castle’s main doors and faced the messenger. “Three women? Do ye know who they are?”
“They say they are from yer old home, sir. An old lady and two women who look like the same person, but they doona talk the same. One of them talks verra strangely.”
Arran clasped the man on the shoulder more in an effort to steady himself than to gain the man’s attention. It couldn’t be true. She was gone, that painful ache in his chest a reminder of her absence every day. “Ye must be mistaken. ’Tis only two women, aye?”
“I’m no mistaken. There are three. The first two insisted I let them in right away, but I told them I wouldna do so until I spoke to ye. The third woman was verra quiet, I noticed her for that reason. See for yerself.”
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