His words of goodbye the last time I saw him, while kinder, were more hurtful to me than anything Brian could ever say. I cared about Jep that much more.
After relieving myself, I dreadfully made my way back to my seat. The nearness of him made everything inside me hum. When we’d been together, my body hummed much the same way but it was with excitement, anticipation, love; now, the humming was different, caused by palpable tension and unsaid words. It wasn’t angry tension by any means, but the tension that is always shared by two people who have a shared history and un-shared feelings.
As soon as I sat down, the plane moved and, for the duration of the takeoff, both of us remained silent. After we were in the air and the atmosphere in the cabin changed back to one where people visited quietly, while others slept or read, I could see Jep’s hands start to twitch nervously. I knew he was about to say something.
I closed my eyes to try the tactic I’d thought of earlier but, as anticipated, it didn’t work.
Finally gathering his nerves, Jep reached out to squeeze my hand gently before pulling it away as my eyes opened.
“I know you’re not asleep. Can I ask you something?”
I didn’t respond immediately, instead trying to weigh the chances of him actually refraining from asking the question if I told him no. The chances weren’t very good. “Um…sure.” I said it slowly, on purpose. I wanted him to know that I was reluctant to chat.
“Where did you go?”
“What?”
He shifted in his seat so that he faced me. “After the wedding? Where did you go?”
It seemed rude to stare straight ahead while he studied me so intensely, so I matched his stare. “I didn’t go anywhere. Brian and I stayed in Austin. I got a job as a teacher’s aide at a local elementary school. Why do you ask?”
He looked down again. I’d never seen him so hesitant about anything. He was usually over-confident, even leaning on the side of cocky. “That’s not what I meant, but I’m surprised to know that you didn’t leave Austin, and we’ve never bumped into each other. I don’t see a ring on your finger. Are you and Brian? Are you still?”
I was tired, cranky and, if he insisted on talking, I wished he would just say whatever it was he meant to. “No, we’re not. Look, I don’t want to be rude, but I’m exhausted and, even once we land, I have a several hours car drive ahead of me. Just spit out whatever it is you’re talking about. What do you mean, that’s not what you meant?”
His eyes swept downward, and it did nothing to help me sympathize with him. “I mean, I didn’t hear from you anymore after my wedding.”
I was older, both in age and in life experience since my time with Jep, and I wouldn’t allow him to make me feel guilty over something that was his fault ever again. “What?” I spoke loudly enough to garner attention from people around us so I lowered my voice and leaned in slightly closer to him. “Did you honestly expect to? You married her! I know we’d been broken up a while, but we talked every day, all the time, and you got engaged and married, all without telling me! Surely, after all of the years we’ve known each other, you knew I wasn’t going to call and text a married man?”
He looked up from the floor and locked eyes with me. “I did know, and I couldn’t stand the thought of not talking to you. That’s why I didn’t tell you until after the fact.”
“It was a selfish thing to do. And don’t tell me that you couldn’t stand the thought of not talking to me. The things you said to me after your wedding were meant to guarantee that you would never hear from me ever again.” I stopped speaking before my voice could crack. Thinking back on the night I learned he’d married was enough to take all the breath out of me.
Jep reached his hand up and caressed the side of my face. I almost pulled away, but the touch was comforting and I chose to lean into it.
“I was lying. I was sure you would know. It was self-preservation, preservation for my marriage. I had to push you away, but I always thought you would know. Surely you do. I always loved you. I did back then, and I do now. I’m not sure that you ever truly stop loving anyone once you’ve fallen in love with them.”
He dropped his hand, and I twisted in my seat toward the front once more. I breathed deeply, thinking on what he’d said. Hearing those words was like being released from a set of chains I didn’t consciously even know I wore.
In that moment I realized it wasn’t so much the loss of Jep that wounded me so much all those years ago, but the loss of love. For me to have known how much I loved him and to hear him say that he’d never loved me, despite all the years we’d spent together, was more painful than him moving on to someone else. If I’d at least known that my love had been reciprocated, it would have been easier to move on.
Sleepy, I closed my eyes before speaking to him again. “It doesn’t change anything you know. You were an important part of my life, but it wasn’t ever supposed to be me and you, in the end.”
His voice was quiet, but I could hear the same relief in his voice that I felt in my soul. “I know, but I needed to tell you.”
I smiled, eyes still closed as I spoke through a large yawn. “I know, and that’s all I ever needed to hear.”
Why then with this settled and Brian out of my life did I feel the future would demand more than my past ever had?
Chapter 6
The Roadside Inn, Scotland
Present Day
“Why do ye look so pleased with yerself, love? Yer cheeks are sure to be sore if ye go on grinning like that.”
Morna Conall stepped inside the doorway of their charming home to plant a sound kiss upon her husband who stood waiting for her in the entryway. Grayed-hair framed his wrinkled face, but his thin mouth smiled against hers as she kissed him. His plaid blue shirt, wrinkled, hung loosely on his slim frame, and the smell of pipe tobacco lingered near him. No matter that his knees creaked and his ears required that she speak up, he would remain ageless in her eyes always.
“I doona know what ye mean, Jerry. I’m just pleased that Mitsy arrives today. ’Tis good to feel useful once more, and I’m anxious to see how the spell works now that I’ve tweaked it.” She knew her husband would know she wasn’t being completely honest, but she found Jerry charming when he was all riled up.
“Aye, but that isna why ye are grinning so. If I know ye as well as I think I do, and believe me I do, then I would say that ye’ve already been making yerself useful and using yer spells a bit, aye? Now, what is it that ye have done?”
Stepping out of her shoes, Morna moved into the living room and sat on the couch, patting the seat next to her so that Jerry would join her. She reached to brush the red hair that turned whiter with each passing year out of her face. With Jerry seated, she reached for his hands and spoke. “All I did was re-arrange a flight ticket so that a certain lad would be on board with her.”
“Why would ye do that? What is the purpose of her coming here if the man she’s supposed to meet resides in the States?”
Jerry’s voice came out high and confused, and Morna laughed as she squeezed the old man’s hand. “The lad she’s meant for isna in the States. I only wished to learn what occurred in her past that led her to us. So I did some casting to find it. Ye see, there’s always much more to the end of a marriage than the actual end of it.”
If only all relationships were lucky enough to be matched by her, Morna was certain there’d be many less hurting hearts in the world. She was a master at it, and she believed that to provide aide in the creation of love was the best use of her magic.
“Aye, that there is, dear. Did ye put Mitsy’s husband on the plane?”
Morna shook her head. “Ex-husband now, and o’ course I dinna! In Mitsy’s case, her deepest wound was no from her marriage but from someone that came before it. She needed that wound to be healed before she goes back in time. I believe allowing them both the chance to speak to one another did just that.”
“Now, why is that, love? Why did she need to be rid of her hurt?
Hurt is something that we all must learn from, and time heals our hurts well enough on its own.”
Morna smiled. She found her husband to be wiser for his lack of magic. “Perhaps ye are right about time but, in this case, I thought time needed a little help.”
“And just why is that? Ye are goading me by finishing every sentence without giving a full explanation, and I doona like it.”
Morna laughed as her husband’s voice rose at the end of his question. He quickly grew frustrated. She kissed him swiftly on the cheek and leaned into him as she spoke. “Aye, I know that I am but I canna help it, ye make it too much fun.”
He glared back at her, only causing her to laugh more.
“Fine, fine. I’m finished. I just believe that now that Mitsy is free of feelings that were holding her back, she will be free to help someone who will need her assistance to free himself.”
A sudden knock on the door caused them both to jerk their heads toward the entranceway.
Jerry stood, moving slowly toward the foyer. “How did ye no see that she was about to be here?”
Morna moved to join her husband. “The casting distracted me. I was eager to see the results of my efforts with the plane tickets. Not to mention,”
“The fact that ye will have to lie to the lass,” Jerry’s voice finished her sentence and Morna looked down regretfully. “Aye, we shall both have to. ’Tis the only way to get the lass where she truly needs to be, and that place isna with Bri at Conall Castle.”
* * *
Jep and I both left the plane as quite different people than those who boarded it. With the mutual feeling that the past was truly behind both of us, we parted amicably and happily. It didn’t take long to gather my luggage as I’d checked only one bag and, since this was my second time to rent a car to go in search of the odd innkeepers, the process went smoothly.
Several hours later, I found myself parked outside of the inn, anxious to get inside so that I could speak to Bri. If she wasn’t inside the inn, I knew she had to be close.
Rather than the furious and frantic knock of my previous visit, I knocked softly now and stepped away from the door. The last time I arrived at the inn, I’d been in a bit of a panic and had not displayed the kindest manners.
It took a moment, but as soon as the door swung open, I was pulled into a surprisingly firm embrace.
“Ach, lass. I’m pleased that ye made it safely. Come inside, Mitsy. It’s good to see ye, dear.”
Once the elderly man released me, I tried to smile past the shock of the familiar greeting. “Thank you. It’s good to see you…Jerry, is it?”
He beamed and patted me firmly on the shoulder, pulling my purse off my shoulder to set it beside the door in the process. “Aye, it was kind of ye to remember me name.”
I stepped inside just a little bit further so that I could glance around for any sign of Bri or her husband, Eoin. “Yes, I remember your name, but I’m afraid I’m not sure of your wife’s name. When I met her, she was Gwendolyn, but I heard Bri refer to her as Morna?”
As if summoned, Jerry’s wife stepped into the entranceway and embraced me much the same way as Jerry had done. “Call me Morna, dear. And ye did remember me names, both of them. ’Tis only that ye dinna remember which one to use.”
Friendly folks I thought to myself, but truthfully, I didn’t mind the affection at all, I was merely surprised by it, especially considering how terribly I’d treated them both upon my first visit here. “I’m afraid I owe both of you an apology. The first time I came here, well, I was very rude. I was only—” I was interrupted by Morna who spoke as she waved me inside the kitchen.
“No need to apologize. You were worried about Bri. It only goes to show what a good friend ye are. Come, sit and eat a bit. I’ve made chicken pot pie. Not a Scottish dish, to be sure, but when me American friends come to visit, I like to try American recipes.”
Jerry wrinkled up his nose, and I laughed at the disgust on his face.
“Aye, well at least ye dinna make the lasagna this time.”
Morna ignored him. As soon as I was seated, I dug into the delicious dish. “It’s wonderful. Thank you. Might I ask you a question?”
Morna sat down across from me and Jerry followed, sitting next to her. “O’course ye can. I suppose ye are anxious to know how things are to happen now?”
I frowned but stared down at my food so as not to show my utter confusion. “I just wanted to ask you if Bri was here?”
The pitch of Morna’s voice caused me to look up. She seemed as shocked as I was confused. “Well, o’course she isna here, dear. She told ye where she was, dinna she?”
Was everyone around here smoking the same thing? Surely, she didn’t believe that Bri was living in the seventeenth century? “Well, she did tell me something, but come on? It was obviously some sort of weird joke. I don’t know why she wouldn’t tell me the truth.”
Morna stood and moved to a coat closet out in the hallway from the kitchen. When she returned, she extended a plain, brown dress and a smooth, black rock in my direction. It looked like something you would put on at a carnival to take an old-timey photo. “She wasna lying to ye, Mitsy, and, if ye wish to see Bri, ye must go back as well.”
I didn’t say anything but just sat there, looking at them as if they were crazy. I half expected camera crews to pop out of the woodwork any moment to tell me I was on some sort of hidden camera show.
Jerry reached across the table and squeezed my hand in an effort to comfort me, but it only served to make me jump out of my seat.
“Okay, seriously, what the hell is going on? I really wanted to be nicer to you people this time, but you are freaking me out. Bri’s had her fun, but I am really not in the mood. So tell her to get her skinny ass out here, or I am going to kick it so far she really does land in the seventeenth century.”
The odd couple glanced uncomfortably at one another and then back in my direction. Morna finally spoke, “I canna make Bri come out here. I’m sorry, lass. I doona blame ye for thinking us mad. All of it seems so commonplace to me now, I forget that ’tis truly traumatic for those unaccustomed to the idea. I have magic, dear, a witch if ye like, and Bri truly is living in Conall Castle but in the year 1647. Ye willna believe it until ye are there, I’m sure. While it will be a rough adjustment, I can see that there willna be another way. Here’s the long and short of it, Mitsy. If ye really wish to see Bri again, ye will step into the bathroom, change into the dress and do as we bid ye.”
“Trust us,” Jerry whispered softly.
* * *
Her eyes flashed when she ordered me into the bathroom and, while I believed Morna to be harmless, in that instant, if there were really such things as witches, she could have indeed been one.
I did as she asked, the whole while trying to figure out any plausible cause for what she was talking about. Perhaps it was a role-playing thing. That nerdy thing that video-game people do where they gather in fields and pretend to be things and people they’re not, for fantasy-type battles. Surely, Bri wouldn’t be involved in such a thing.
My next thought, and the only one that truly made any sense to me, was that it was some sort of creepy cult, something that Bri had gotten sucked into after she met Eoin, and they somehow managed to brainwash her so that she actually believed all this time-travel business. If it was a cult, I imagined the only way I would ever see Bri again was to play along and act as if I believed them so that they would bring me into their secret gathering place. I wasn’t sure I could do it, but I could try. If it meant bringing Bri back into reality, I would do it whole-heartedly.
Once I stripped myself of the sweats I wore, I climbed into the dress, squirming against the hard package of something I could feel on the inside of the dress. I couldn’t do up the laces myself, so hesitantly I stepped back into the kitchen.
“Look.” I pointed a finger at both Morna and Jerry and put on my angriest “ginger” face. “This is obviously some sort of crazy-ass cult thing and, while I
’ll play along so that I get to see Bri, I don’t want you to think for a moment that you’re going to be able to brainwash me. You got it?”
Morna rolled her eyes dramatically, and Jerry started laughing so hard he doubled over in the kitchen. It did nothing to calm me down.
“Believe what ye wish, lass, but in due time ye will see that ye are the one who is mad for dreaming up such a ridiculous notion.” She paused to raise her palm in my direction. “But aye, lass, I swear not to try and brainwash ye.”
I spun my back toward her. “Well, good. Just so it’s clear. I’m only here for my friend and then we are both getting the hell out of here.” I lowered my voice and spoke much more sweetly. I knew I sounded crazy, too. “Now, would you please help me with the laces? I couldn’t do them on my own.”
“Sure, dear.”
Each time she pulled on the laces, the lump on the inside of the dress pushed into my side. “What’s inside the dress? Is it some sort of tracking device? If so, I can assure you the dress is coming off as soon as I leave here.”
With the next tug, I was certain she pulled on the lace a little tighter than was absolutely necessary. “Ye no doubt have a bit of Irish ancestry in ye, doona ye dear? For ye are as mad as a wee banshee. I sewed some ibuprofen and a few other medicines into the dress. Believe me, ye will need them once ye travel backward.”
“Crazy as hell, every one of you,” I muttered the words under my breath and was rewarded with a tug so tight, it knocked the air right out of me.
“What was that, dear?”
“Nothing.” It came out weak and breathless. I should’ve kept that thought in my head.
Morna stepped away and motioned for Jerry and me to follow her. “Come along. It will take us several hours to get there. We best get on the road.”
* * *
“I thought Bri was ‘living’ at Conall Castle?” I asked the question sarcastically. No one lived at Conall Castle, it had been a tourist attraction for many years and was no longer inhabited by anyone.
Morna's Legacy: Box Set #1 Page 52