by K. A. Linde
Her head jerked toward me, as if she had felt my eyes on her like a laser. Her cheeks heated, but she didn’t look away. Gone was the fun and playful girl from a minute ago. In her place was that feral creature who kept me on my toes. Never sure if she was going to walk away or devour me whole.
I didn’t like the guessing games with her. The best thing about Heidi was, you always knew exactly where you stood. But, right now, I felt as if I were in a fun house with mirrors reflecting back at me, revealing a million different versions of reality.
As I held her gaze, I shattered every mirror but the real one in her eyes.
She seemed to realize that she had given herself away and quickly turned away from me. But I’d seen enough to know the truth.
This wasn’t over. This was far from over.
Eleven
Heidi
To say the least, the last five days had been the most uncomfortable of my life. If I’d thought I would be able to avoid Landon, I’d been wrong. Very wrong.
I knew I needed to figure out a way to live with my new reality. But, at present, I wanted to get the fuck out of the office and not have to deal with Landon being there. I didn’t do well as a contained creature. Holding on to my emotions was like waiting for a jack-in-the-box to pop open.
That was why I’d agreed to meet Nick for dinner after work. This was the third date, and I couldn’t have Landon Wright in my head when I went into this. I could almost convince myself that I was looking forward to it.
My hand strayed to my hair, and I tucked a lock behind my ear. Even though Landon’s office was on the way out, I promised myself I wouldn’t take a peek and see what he was doing. I didn’t need to know if he looked frazzled, as he had for the last couple of days. I wasn’t going to see if he’d already taken off his jacket, removed his tie, and rolled up his sleeves. Those things weren’t important.
Yet my eyes darted in there anyway.
To my surprise, he had his jacket and tie in place. His hair wasn’t mussed, like he had been running his fingers through it in irritation all day. He looked relaxed. And, when he saw me, he smiled.
Oh, fuck.
I’m a goner.
“Hey,” Landon said. He stepped out of his office and leaned against the door.
My heart stuttered. “Hey.”
We hadn’t had a conversation longer than this since he started. He’d given me room to breathe. Even though I couldn’t avoid him even if I wanted to.
“You heading out early?” he asked.
I stalled and faced him. “Yeah. It’s Friday. Is that a problem?”
He shook his head. “Nope. Not a problem with me.”
“Great,” I said. “I didn’t think I needed permission.”
His smile slipped for a second, and then it came back, maxed out. God, that smile.
“You don’t. Not from me at least.”
“Wonderful,” I said drily. I wasn’t trying to be a sarcastic bitch, but it was a defense mechanism against his charm.
“Heidi, can we not do this?”
“Oh, I’m Heidi now? What happened to Miss Martin?”
Landon leveled me with a you-know-why-I-said-that look. “If we’re going to be around each other, then we should maybe try to be civil. Friends even.”
“We are friends, Landon,” I said with a sad smile. “Just friends.”
I pushed past his door and headed for the elevator. I didn’t know how much longer I could do this, and it had only been five days.
Landon and I were just friends. All we were ever going to be was friends. Him putting on the charm and smiling at me like that was not helping a goddamn thing.
The elevator doors swung open. I stepped inside and hit the button for the lobby. As the doors were sliding shut, Landon’s hand shot out to stop them. He held them open with both hands and intently stared at me.
I swallowed hard and felt my body seize up. Here we were. Just the two of us. Alone. Yet…not exactly alone. Anyone could come around the corner and see us together. Wonder why he was holding the doors open like that while watching me like a starved animal.
“What?” I asked when he didn’t say anything.
“Don’t walk out of here like this.”
I arched an eyebrow. “It’s only a half hour early.”
“You know what I mean.”
“I don’t—”
“You walked past my office as if we were strangers. We’re not. We haven’t had a chance to talk. I haven’t even had a chance to apologize.”
“Well…don’t.”
“Don’t?” he asked, his brows furrowing.
“Don’t apologize. What do you have to apologize for?”
“Let me start a list,” he said with a half-grin.
“Your wife showed up, and that was that, Landon,” I told him with a one-shoulder shrug.
“That is not what happened.”
I shook my head and leaned against the back of the elevator. I didn’t want to hear this. I didn’t want him to do this right now. I prayed that someone would come and interrupt us, but I wasn’t that lucky.
“Just don’t, okay?”
The elevator started dinging because Landon had been holding the doors open for so long. He did the unthinkable and stepped into the elevator with me. The doors closed noisily behind him, enclosing us together.
“What are you doing?” I whispered, my voice soft and breathy.
“Having that talk.”
He walked forward until only mere inches were between us. I was cursing and also silently thanking Wright Construction for having slow elevators. Because, the last time I had been this close to him, we’d made out. And, suddenly, I couldn’t get that thought out of my head. I knew I wanted it again. I could tell that he did.
Just because we had a connection didn’t mean we should act on it.
“This is not a good idea,” I muttered.
I should have said something more along the lines of, Get the fuck away from me, but my brain was not listening.
“Everything about you is a good idea, Heidi.”
“You are my boss.”
“Yeah, I am.”
“My job is too important to me. I can’t…I don’t want to do this.”
“Your job isn’t in jeopardy.”
“It is if you kiss me.”
He smiled that brilliant smile. My knees were wobbly. I could tell he liked that I was thinking about kissing him. I mentally kicked myself for bringing it up. But, with him this close, it was getting hard to think properly.
“Next time I kiss you, it will be because you’re asking me to, Heidi.”
“That’s not going to happen,” I assured him.
He grinned at me, as if he didn’t believe me. Right now…I didn’t believe me either.
“Can I see you later?”
“No,” I whispered.
“Heidi, come on. Give me a chance.”
“I mean, no…I have a date,” I said as the elevator reached the bottom floor, and the doors dinged open.
Landon took a shocked step back from me. “A date?”
“Yeah.”
“I see.”
“Yeah.”
Landon followed me out of the elevator. In the lobby, there were too many people with eyes that could be watching us from all directions. I suddenly felt exposed, as if everyone were staring at us. Even though no one else knew what had transpired between Landon and me a month ago…or in the elevator.
“How long has that been going on?” he asked, his voice tight and controlled.
“Dating? My whole life. Some guys take me out for food. Maybe a movie. Pretty sweet deal,” I said, trying for levity.
“You know what I mean.”
“A few weeks.”
“Since I left then?”
“You had nothing to do with this,” I lied.
“Heidi, you can’t—”
“Don’t tell me what I can and can’t do,” I hissed at him. “You made your decision, Landon, and
now, I’m making mine.” My voice was barely above a whisper, but I still felt exposed from even uttering those words.
His eyes were two open windows, revealing every little thought that fluttered through his head. He was pissed and jealous and frustrated. He wanted to tell me not to go out with anyone. But he knew it was unfair. He knew he didn’t have the right to those feelings. He was the one who had fucked this up. Not me. He was the one who deserved to feel this way.
So, why did I feel so horrible when I finally walked away from him?
Emery was at the apartment when I showed up from work early. She would be starting her teaching job on Monday and had been in deep planning mode. She had been going into school early for the past couple of weeks for new teacher orientation. I thought it was smart that she was taking advantage of all this time to get ready for her big-girl job. But she thought I was a dick when I put it like that. I was her best friend, so she was probably right.
“Hey, sexy,” I said, wandering into Emery’s room.
“Hello, my lover,” Emery said with a wink.
“Still in major planning mode?”
“The majorest,” she said. “Look what came today.” She held up a standard-sized white envelope.
I knew what that letter was. She knew what that letter was. It came in every week. Every single week.
“Great,” I said, snatching it out of her hand and stuffing it into my purse, unopened.
“So, how was work?”
I wrinkled my nose. “It was work.”
She glanced up at me out of the corner of her eye. “You love your job.”
“Yeah, I do, but things have been…you know, rough lately.”
“Are you finally going to admit to me that this is about Landon?”
“Absolutely not.”
I plopped down onto her bed and watched her as she filed a bunch of paperwork. She was, as usual, dressed in black from head to toe and had her dark hair in a ponytail on the top of her head. No makeup, no fuss, and she was still gorgeous as hell.
“Fine. Then, how is it, having Landon as your boss?”
“Weird as fuck,” I admitted. “I mean, I know he’s a Wright, but we’re the same age. I’ve been doing this for six years, and he just dropped into the job.”
“Well, what do you expect when Jensen pulled strings for him?”
I shrugged. I hadn’t expected any different. “He’s doing fine, but it’s just…weird.”
“Weird because you’re into him or because of the whole situation?”
“Stop!” I groaned, flopping backward and staring up at the ceiling. “It’s because it’s Landon. You should get that.”
“I get it,” she agreed. “But, when you’re ready to tell me that you like him, I’ll be here to listen.” She stood and towered over me, which was a first, considering I was the giant and she was a shrimp.
“Whatever. I have a date tonight.”
“Oh, right,” Emery said, rolling her eyes. “Sounds fascinating. The wonderful, drool-worthy Nick.”
“You’re a shitty best friend.”
“Yeah, right. I’ve known you since kindergarten. I know when you’re playing along, and I know when you’re invested. You’re dating this Nick guy because Julia wants to have someone to hang out with her and Trevor.”
“But he is nice.” I sat up on my elbows.
“Nice? Gross,” she said, sticking her tongue out. “Whoever wanted nice? Try passion and fire and need. You can’t settle for someone who is nice. You want someone you can’t live without.”
“Thank you, Queen of Bad Relationships.”
Emery swatted at me. “Hey! I might have had some bad relationships in the past, but I give good advice.”
“So, you think I should cancel with Nick?”
“No!” she cried. “I think you should definitely go on a date with Nick. Then, you’ll realize what you don’t want. Because I already know it’s not him. You seem oblivious to it.”
I wasn’t oblivious to it. But he was a nice guy. I liked him just fine. There was absolutely nothing wrong with where our relationship was headed. But, as Emery had eloquently said, I could live without him. Very easily.
But that was also a problem with me as a person. I was resilient. After what had happened with my mom and then the shit that went down with my dad, I had to be. I didn’t need people. I could do everything on my own.
Emery was my real family. I loved her to pieces. She was the only person I’d ever come to say that I really needed. Because, without her, I didn’t know if I would have made it through those hard years.
But guys?
They could get in line. I was strong, and I could do without them. And that made me perfectly intimidating. A strong man should hold up a strong woman, not run from her.
I’d thought for a while that Landon Wright might be the kind of guy who did that. The kind of guy I couldn’t live without.
But I was wrong. I was carrying on without him.
Or maybe…I’d been wrong all along.
Maybe this was called survival…not living.
Twelve
Landon
A date.
Heidi had a fucking date.
God, I’m an idiot.
Why hadn’t I guessed before? Of course, she would move on. She was the full package. Any guy would be lucky to have her. I knew that for a fact. But I hadn’t thought it would happen so soon.
While I’d been busy healing and getting my life together, she’d been running off and trying to find someone else. And I couldn’t even blame her. I wanted to. I wanted to break shit and demand for her never to see this fucking douche bag again. I wanted to make things right. To see where this relationship could go. I wanted her to be mine.
Jealousy burned through me like a fire-breathing dragon. I couldn’t even see straight as she walked right out of the building and out of my life.
I should have told her about the divorce papers. I should have told her about the injury. I should have told her about why I had moved back and why I needed this job.
But I hadn’t wanted to blurt out everything that had happened to me. I didn’t want her to think, just because I was leaving Miranda, that automatically meant she should fall into my arms. I didn’t want to scare her off. Like I just had.
All I wanted to do was get home and relax. Let my mind do absolutely nothing for a little while. I had physical therapy nearly every day, but on Mondays and Fridays, I went in before work, which meant I could chill tonight.
And obsess over Heidi’s date.
About an hour after I entered my new one-bedroom apartment and changed out of my stupid suit, I got a text from Austin.
Drinks?
I sighed and leaned my head back on the couch. A drink sounded nice. Maybe it would be better to go out rather than sit around at home and watch ESPN.
Yeah. Where? When?
Patrick and I are going to West Table in a half hour.
Why?
West Table was one of the fanciest restaurants in town. They had a nice bar and coffee shop attached to the building, but it wouldn’t have been my first choice.
Patrick is talking to the bartender. She’s hot.
Ah, well, that explained it.
Count me in.
I slipped into my standard khakis and a polo and exited the apartment. I’d left my car in Tampa, and I was borrowing Jensen’s Mercedes for the time being. I sank into the dark interior and turned on a local radio station before I sped away.
After the day I’d had, I was glad that Austin was offering a distraction. Patrick was always a good time even if he egged on Austin’s base qualities. But they had known each other their entire lives and were both still bachelors. I was pretty sure that Austin was because he pushed away any girl who seemed to care about him, and Patrick lost interest in the blink of an eye. A lot of girls flitted in and out of their lives, and no one took any of them seriously.
Though Jensen was certain that Patrick and Morgan had a th
ing. I couldn’t imagine the least serious person I knew ending up with the most serious person I knew.
I ended up at West Table about ten minutes later. I saw Patrick’s Lexus SUV already parked on the side of the building, which was good because then Austin wasn’t driving. I parked behind them and entered through the side door. The lobby to the building was white marble flooring, a sky-high ceiling, and an enormous staircase. The coffee shop was off to the left, and the restaurant was on the right.
The hostess brightened at my approach. “How many?”
“I’m just meeting some people at the bar,” I told her.
“Certainly, sir. Right over there,” she said.
I flashed her a smile and then found Austin and Patrick at the bar, each with a glass of whiskey in front of them. A tall, sexy brunette was standing behind the bar, deeply engrossed in whatever Patrick was saying. She was in an all-black outfit with her cleavage gloriously on display. I could see why Patrick was into her. She was right up his alley. Though, with Patrick’s track record, I doubted it would go anywhere.
“Hey,” I said, sidling up next to Austin.
“Hey. What’s up?” Austin said.
“Hey, man,” Patrick said. “Good to have you in town. I haven’t had a chance to see you around the office yet. Is it weird, working at Wright?”
“Yeah, a little weird,” I conceded.
Patrick worked for Wright Construction, too. He crunched numbers and dealt with expenses, and at the beginning of the summer, he had been promoted to a more managerial role. I gathered that he made more money and worked less.
“Well, Austin thinks you’ll be playing golf again soon. We’re all rooting for you.”
“Thanks,” I said. I turned to the bartender before I could curse my back again. “Maker’s Mark, neat.”
“You got it,” she said, reaching for the bottle.
“Oh, yeah. Landon, this is Mindi. Mindi, this is Austin’s brother Landon.”
She winked at me. “Nice to meet you. You’re the younger brother, right?”
“I am,” I confirmed.
“Cute. I like brothers.”
I tilted my head at her, trying to see if I was gathering what she was signaling. Her lips curled into a mischievous grin. Yep, I wasn’t wrong. She was definitely interested in a threesome.