by K. A. Linde
I strode around to where Landon was standing, assessing the situation. “What do you think? Ten in the upper right corner?” he asked.
I shrugged. “Your call, Landon.”
He leaned forward, almost right in my face. “We didn’t discuss what would happen if I won.”
“I give you a hundred dollars,” I said with practiced calm.
Fuck, he was too close.
“That’s not what I want.”
“That’s what you’ll get…if you win,” I hissed back before stepping away.
He grinned at how flustered I was, and I eased around to the other side of the table. I watched Landon sink the ten he had promised into the upper right pocket.
This was not good. I had a feeling I already knew what Landon wanted if he won. Something that I could not give him, least of all because I was on a date with another guy currently. At present. This very moment!
I nearly screamed when he knocked in two more balls. He was getting cocky though. I could see it in the set of his shoulders and the laughter in his eyes. This was when guys messed up. This was when they thought they could beat a girl because they had started to run the table. I could still win. I needed to win.
I stepped forward as he lined up for his next shot. “You sure about that one?”
My hip eased into the side of the pool table, and Landon’s eyes traveled down my long, tan legs.
“Trying to intimidate me?”
I laughed lightly. “Of course not. Just helping my opponent.”
“You forget that I know you too well for that. You never help your opponent.”
“Sometimes, I do. When I want them to win,” I added.
His eyes latched on to mine with giant question marks in them. “And do you want me to win?” His voice was laced with temptation.
“No.”
He grinned. “And I thought I was a shit liar.”
“Come on, you two,” Patrick called from where he was seated. “Finish up already.”
“I’d go with the twelve,” I told him as he aimed for the nine.
“The twelve is impossible.”
“Maybe for you.”
“Do you want to take this shot, or are you here as a distraction?” His eyes slipped down my dress again. “I don’t mind either way.”
“Yeah, y’all,” Nick said, joining in on Austin’s and Patrick’s camaraderie. “Don’t take all night.”
“Where did you find this guy?” Landon muttered under his breath as he lined up his shot again.
“Well, he’s not married. So, I think I’ll call it a win.”
Landon whiffed entirely. The cue ball barely brushed the nine he had been aiming for, and he cursed at his miss. But I knew he was really cursing what I’d just said.
All of that tension from the last week seemed to be hitting its crescendo between us now. If Nick weren’t so completely oblivious, he would have noticed how Landon looked at me and the way he talked to me and the feelings that were boiling over in his presence.
“Guess victory will be mine,” I told him as I scooted him out of the way.
I landed the two and the six almost without taking a breath. With most of the table cleared, the shots had been easy. Geometry had always been my forte. It was the reason I had gotten into engineering in the first place. I was that weirdo kid who loved math. It paid off in these situations. I just needed to put away the eight to win.
“Come on, Heidi. You’ve got this,” Nick called.
“Yeah, Heidi,” Austin agreed. “I love watching you kick my brother’s ass.”
“You’re so thoughtful,” Landon muttered.
“What? It’s hot when a chick beats you.”
“Hey,” I said, pointing my pool stick at him. “I’m not just some chick.”
“You’re right. You’re a hot chick,” Patrick said.
“Ignore them, and call your shot,” Landon said.
I rolled my eyes and lined up for the eight ball. “Eight in the upper right.”
In the millisecond after I hit the ball, I had a feeling I was going to miss. I wasn’t sure if it was the way I’d hit the ball or the trajectory it went on, but it felt off to me. It rattled back and forth against the corners of the pocket, and we all held our breaths and waited.
“Ugh,” I groaned as I watched it with my hand over my eyes. Shockingly, it teetered just far enough backward to land in the pocket. I jumped up in surprise. “Oh my God!”
The other guys all cheered me on.
Austin handed me Landon’s hundred bucks. “Never doubted you for a second.”
Nick applauded my success. “Great job!”
Patrick put an arm around Nick’s shoulders. “Come on! Let’s go do shots!”
It was only Landon who looked downtrodden. But he was a good sport. He grinned when I glanced at him.
“Nice game.”
“Thanks,” I muttered.
I guessed I would never know what I’d have gotten if he’d won.
Fourteen
Heidi
Landon took a step closer to me when Austin, Patrick, and Nick finally walked away. “It really was a great game, Heidi.”
“Piece of cake.”
“Sure you don’t want to find out what would have happened if I’d won.”
“Don’t think we’ll ever know, Landon, because you’ll never beat me,” I said confidently.
He grinned. “Maybe.”
“Seriously, Landon, what the hell are you doing?” I asked before I could stop myself.
“Hanging out with you.”
“You’ve been doing this whole I-know-you-so-well act tonight. And, sure, you might know me, but you can’t forget that I know you just as well, which means that I know you are not here just to hang out with me.”
“You’re right. You do know me, Heidi. That’s the point. You’ve been avoiding me and walking away from me and refusing to listen to me all week when I’ve been standing right in front of you, trying to make things right.”
“Maybe I don’t want to make things right.”
“Why? Because of this guy?” Landon asked, pointing out Nick. “The guy is so oblivious, he can’t even see what’s right in front of his eyes. I could have made out with you on the pool table, and he would have clapped his hands and applauded at how good you are.”
“That is not true,” I cried. “Fuck, I don’t even want to get into this with you.”
I stomped away from him, toward the restroom.
His footsteps alerted me of his presence before he grabbed my elbow. “Heidi, stop.”
I should have known he wouldn’t let me walk away. And, now, we were alone in a back hallway that led to the restrooms where no one could see us.
I whirled around and smacked his hand where he was touching me. “I don’t get what the hell you hope to accomplish here. Following after me and cornering me again? That’s not smart. Not only am I here with someone else, but you are also my boss.”
“Yeah, I am! Who the fuck cares?”
“I do!”
“Well, Christ, Heidi, I know how important your job is to you. I get it. I’m not trying to get you fired. And I don’t think you would get fired even if someone found out.”
“You can’t possibly know that. That’s such an incredibly naive way of thinking. Julia is one of my closest friends. I know that she has fired people or moved people to different branches of the company for less than this.”
“Less than what? One kiss before I was your boss? Because you keep telling me there’s nothing here.” He moved forward, caging me in. “Or is it that there is something here? And we are something more, but you refuse to acknowledge it.”
His lips were mere inches from my face, and my body was pulsing in response to his words. His hands trailed down my bare arms. All cognizant thoughts fled my mind. I wanted to give in to this. Just as I had wanted to at the reunion and all those months ago at Christmas. But I couldn’t.
“What part of date do you not get,
Landon?” I asked, shoving him backward.
“The part where you’re not with me!” he growled.
“You are married!”
“Well, if you’d just fucking talk to me, you would know that I’m divorcing her!”
“Wait…what?” I asked, momentarily dumbfounded.
“Yeah, I’m leaving her!”
I shook my head. “You said that last time, and you still went running back to her like a dog with his tail between his legs.”
“Is that what you think happened?” he asked, his voice low and seriously pissed. “Last time, we were separated. I’d told her I was leaving her. And, now, I officially am, Heidi. I didn’t know she would be in town that day. I had no clue what kind of shit she was trying to pull. I’m here trying to fix my fucking mistakes.”
My jaw fell open at his confession. “You’re really leaving her?”
“Yes.”
His hands brushed down my arms again. When I didn’t say anything in response, he moved in closer. Our anger and frustrations scorched through the space between us. My brain couldn’t keep up with my body.
My brain was saying, Walk away. Don’t give in. Keep your defenses up.
My body was saying, Touch me, feel me, devour me.
His fingers grazed my waist, bunching up the material of my dress and forcing us back against the wall. Our gazes met, and my chest was heaving with desire and panic.
I could not give in to him.
I so wanted to give in to him.
He nuzzled my neck with the stubble of his five o’clock shadow. My breaths came out in spurts. And, at the first kiss on my neck, I was a goner. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back. Wanting this, needing this.
“Fuck, Heidi,” he groaned.
My hands wrapped around his shoulders, feeling the muscles in his back as I dragged him against me. I forgot where we were or what I was doing. I was just living in the moment. He grasped the back of one of my legs and hoisted it up around his waist. His fingers slipped up my dress and dug into my exposed thigh, leaving indents as he reveled in the taut muscle.
He kissed up my neck and sucked on my earlobe. A desperate, throaty breath escaped my mouth.
“Landon…”
“Come back home with me.”
“I can’t,” I whispered.
His lips grazed mine, and it took everything in me not to give in to that kiss. And, God, I wanted to. I wanted everything he was offering.
“This is what I wanted if I’d won,” he said. “Just you.”
I whimpered at that. My hands fisted his shirt. My heart beat as fast as if I had run a marathon. His words were so enticing. Exactly what I had wanted to hear all along.
But, if I gave in, I’d hate myself later. I’d hate myself for not waiting until the divorce was finalized…if it was ever finalized. I’d hate that he was my boss, and with one kiss, I could lose the career I’d worked so hard for. And I’d hate that I’d hurt Nick. Though I didn’t feel for him what I felt for Landon, it wasn’t right to allow this to happen.
Finally, with all the willpower I could muster, I pushed Landon back. “No.”
“No?” he asked with a furrowed brow. “No what?”
“This doesn’t change anything.”
“What the hell, Heidi?”
“You just dropping on me that you’re leaving Miranda doesn’t change anything,” I told him.
“Of course not. I tell you I’m leaving my wife and that I want to be with you, and that means nothing to you? Makes perfect sense.”
“But you haven’t left her yet! You’re still with her!”
“Legally, we’re separated. And in another couple of months, we’ll be divorced,” he groaned. “You want to wait around for her to sign a document that I initiated and already signed. One that says our marriage is irretrievably broken and that we’re unable to mend our irreconcilable differences.”
“I don’t know, Landon. I don’t know about any of that. It’s all too much at once. I’m on a date with someone else, and you’re trying to seduce me. That’s fucked up.”
Landon took a step back and sighed. He closed his eyes for a second. I could tell that he hated how this had all happened. Maybe not the kissing part, but that it had gotten so out of control.
I was shaking and just wanted to leave. Not that I wanted to see Nick. I obviously had to break it off after what had happened. I’d already been planning to do it, but this thing with Landon made it inevitable. Julia was going to kick my ass for messing up a good thing. If only I’d had the slightest connection with Nick. If only Landon hadn’t come back to town.
“You’re right,” he finally said.
“I am?”
“Yes. This wasn’t what I wanted to happen. And I’m sorry for ruining your date.”
“You are?” I narrowed my eyes, wondering what the catch was.
“I went about this the wrong way.” His eyes were sincere. “I do want this with you, Heidi, but I’m not going to push you if you’re not ready. If you want to wait until the divorce is finalized, then I can wait. I’ll wait for you.”
My heart stuttered at his words. He really meant it, too. He might have pushed me today, but his eyes said he’d wait. Landon and I had turned that corner back in January, when we had been reckless enough to sneak off together. When we had almost crossed that line. Even when he’d told me we couldn’t talk anymore, I’d known it was because he cared too much. Not because he didn’t care at all.
Yet, no matter how close we had become in the last year, it was hard not to think that I might be some rebound from his wife. Still, I wanted to believe the look he was giving me that said that wasn’t the case.
“You’ll wait for me?”
“As long as you need. But just don’t…settle for that guy in the meantime.”
I colored at the accusation. As if I could choose Nick over him.
He nodded when he saw my expression. “I’ll rally the troops and head out. I really don’t want to hurt you, Heidi.”
He leaned forward and brushed his lips against my cheek. I couldn’t help myself. I sighed into that touch. With that one touch, my skin hummed, and my body came alive. He might be walking away and doing what I’d asked of him, but my traitorous body told him all he needed to know.
“Landon,” I whispered as he turned to go.
“Yeah?”
“Thank you.”
He grinned and reached for my hand. He gently squeezed it.
“Hey, guys!” Austin said, turning the corner and finding us standing together, holding hands. “You might want to break up the lovefest because homeboy is going to get suspicious.”
I jumped away from Landon, as if Nick himself had just turned the corner. Landon seemed unfazed. He probably didn’t care if Nick saw us.
“It’s fine,” Landon told Austin. “We’re heading out.”
“We are?” Austin asked.
“Yeah. Let’s go.”
“But what about Heidi?”
Landon glanced back at me, his eyes sweeping my body one more time, lingering on every inch that he had touched. “She collected her winnings. Maybe I’ll come out on top another night.”
I watched Landon walk away with Austin, who seemed incredibly confused. I didn’t blame him.
How had Landon and I gone from arguing to him pushing me up against a wall to him walking away?
And, worse, how was it that I couldn’t even be mad at him?
He was being a gentleman. He was doing exactly what I’d told him to do. Yet…all I really wanted was for him to come back. To break all my rules.
And I realized then that it was me I was most mad at.
Fifteen
Heidi
When I made it back into the office on Monday morning, my steps were hesitant and my heart heavy. Emery had thankfully been too preoccupied with the start of work this morning for her to notice that I had been walking on a precipice all weekend.
I’d ended it with Nick as soon as he
dropped me off. He’d seemed downtrodden but understanding. He’d even thanked me for the good time that night. I kind of wondered if he liked Austin and Patrick more than me, which would be totally fair, considering how crazy they were.
Now that I wasn’t dating anyone anymore, I’d had all weekend to think about what Landon had said…and done. The electricity that had sparked between us obliterated my senses. So much had changed in a year yet still not enough.
I sighed and took the elevator upstairs. The tension was coiled in my stomach like a viper waiting to strike. I didn’t know how Landon would react when he saw me. I didn’t know how I would react.
With the uncertainty eating away at me, I decided to get it over with. I walked right up to his office and knocked twice.
“It’s open,” Landon called.
I pushed the door all the way open and stared at a frazzled Landon. He was bent over his desk with piles and piles of paperwork scattered before him. He hadn’t even looked up.
“Hey,” I said.
His eyes shot up at the sound of my voice. “Heidi,” he said my name like a prayer.
“Early morning?”
“Christ, what time is it?”
“Nine,” I offered.
He rubbed the bridge of his nose. “Yeah, early morning. I didn’t even know people were here yet.”
“When did you get in?”
“Oh, I was here around six thirty.”
“In the morning?”
He laughed. “Yes, in the morning.”
“Whatever for? We don’t start until nine.”
From the looks of it, it seemed that he was mired in work. He’d only been here a week, and already, he was overworked. I wasn’t sure if that was because he wasn’t used to the work or if it was really piling up. Either way, he looked like he needed some help.
Landon leaned back in his chair and scratched the back of his head. “Well, I have physical therapy Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday afternoons and Monday and Friday mornings, so I come when I’m finished.”
“Physical therapy?” My voice rose an octave. “For what?”
“Oh, we’re asking questions now?” he asked with a smirk.
I opened my mouth and then closed it. He was right. I hadn’t wanted to know why he was here. I had refused for him to even tell me.