by K. A. Linde
Heidi was a fighter. She was resilient. She wasn’t going to let me win unless she wanted it, too. Until she was ready.
I could see how torn in two she was. Denying what she wanted and sticking to her guns, all at the same time.
“You can’t fall for me, Landon.”
“It’s too late. It’s done.”
“Not good enough,” she said.
“I’m a goner, Heidi. Can’t you see?”
She swallowed hard and nodded. She could see it on my face. She knew that I hadn’t been lying to her about Miranda. I was leaving her permanently this time. No separation. Just a good clean break—or as clean as I could make it.
But it didn’t eliminate all of our issues. And I was trying hard to meet her halfway about me being her boss. I knew it worried her, but we could get around it. I knew we could.
“I think…I think you need time. I mean, I don’t know what I think,” she said.
“I don’t need time. I’ve had all the time I needed.”
“Well then, I need time,” she told me.
I opened my mouth to convince her otherwise. But we’d already been here before. We had been here a few days ago. I would kiss her. She’d give in and then freak out. Then, she’d be pissed at me, and I’d have to start from scratch. Rinse and repeat.
I wanted to stop this endless cycle. But I couldn’t. Not here. Not now.
My head nodded of its own accord, and I took a step back. She looked like she was going to say something, but then she stopped. I wanted to say something, but I couldn’t. We were both in limbo.
Then, the front door opened, and both our heads darted to the foyer.
“Uncle Landon!” Colton cried, sprinting into the living room and barreling into me.
I laughed because I couldn’t help it. I never saw my nephew enough. Jensen and Emery always flew to New York City to go see Colton where he lived with his mom. I hadn’t realized Jensen had made an exception for Emery’s birthday, but I approved.
I hoisted the seven-year-old up into my arms and groaned. “You are getting so big,” I joked.
Truthfully, I probably shouldn’t have picked him up with my back the way it was, but eh. I’d deal with the aftermath of that later. Though ignoring the problem was probably how I’d kept reinjuring it the first place.
“I’m turning into a man,” Colton confirmed for me.
Heidi and I both laughed.
“Who did you come with? Your nanny?”
“Nanny Jenn flew with me, but Aunt Kimber brought me and Lilyanne over for the party.”
And just then Emery’s sister, Kimber, walked into the room. She was holding her daughter, Lilyanne’s, hand while her husband, Noah, toted their eight-month-old baby, Bethany.
“Hey, Landon. Heidi,” Kimber said. She pulled Heidi in for a hug, not noticing how flustered she had been a second before. “Good to see you.”
“Hey, Kimber,” Heidi said.
“Are you all set for the party?”
“Yeah, pretty much. Just waiting for everyone else to get here.”
I set Colton down, and he and Lilyanne immediately started kicking the black balloons all around the living room. I had a feeling they were going to all be popped before Emery even showed up.
“And you, Landon,” Kimber said, giving me a hug. “How are you holding up? Emery told me you hurt your back again.”
“Nothing some of your famous chocolate cake can’t fix.”
Kimber owned a bakery downtown called Death by Chocolate. She was an amazing cook and baker and I used to eat her chocolate cake all the time in high school.
She laughed and shook her head. “Well, you haven’t changed a bit.”
How wrong she was.
My eyes shifted to Heidi’s, and at the exact moment, she looked at me. Judging by her expression, she was thinking the same thing. Things had changed a hell of a lot since high school. Right now, I was looking at my ex-girlfriend’s best friend like I’d give up the chocolate cake in a heartbeat to eat her for dessert.
Seventeen
Landon
The rest of my family showed up—Austin, Morgan, and Sutton along with her husband, Maverick, and their newborn baby, Jason. Julia showed up last, running into the room as if the house were on fire. She’d taken one look at Austin and parked herself on the opposite side of the room.
I was for sure going to ask him about that later. I had gotten enough shit from him about Heidi that having dirt on him about someone was probably a good way to deflect later.
Emery was stunned when she walked in. She seemed genuinely thrilled to see everyone in a room, celebrating the day of her birth. We all sang “Happy Birthday” with varying levels of skill, and then she blew the candles out.
“So, do we get cake then?” Colton asked. He had nudged Lilyanne out of the way and was leaning on the island in the kitchen, staring at the chocolate cake that Kimber had brought with her from the bakery.
Emery laughed. “Yes, we all get cake!”
She winked at Kimber, who took a cake-cutting knife from the counter and went to work.
Emery hummed under her breath to the Bagel Bites theme song, “Cupcakes in the morning, cookies in the evening, chocolate at suppertime. When Kimber’s in the kitchen, you can eat baked goods anytime.”
“Oh my God,” I said as Kimber passed out cake to the kids first. “I have not heard that song in a long time.”
“You’re lucky,” Kimber muttered.
“Does she still sing it to you every time you bake?”
“Often enough.”
“Hey,” Emery said, “it’s a good song! It’s catchy.”
“It’s a commercial jingle for Bagel Bites that you changed the words to.”
Emery shrugged. “And? I’m clever.”
“Let’s not argue with the birthday girl, huh?” Jensen said, butting in between me and Emery.
I took a step back and realized that everyone was looking at us. I hadn’t really meant to seamlessly fall into their family dynamic, but I had dated Emery for two years. Sometimes, it was easy to be around them. But that didn’t mean anything about me and Emery. We were long over, and she was head over heels for my brother…and I was head over heels for her best friend.
Heidi’s eyes found me. They were searching, and she looked confused. Julia grabbed her arm and pulled her out of the room without a word. I wondered if Heidi had told Julia. If she had told Emery. Except that now that I’d seen Emery, she looked completely oblivious to it. So, I didn’t know. Whatever. Maybe I was overanalyzing everyone’s reactions.
I took a piece of cake that Kimber had offered me and followed the rest of the party out of the house and into the backyard. Jensen was planning to grill out for the afternoon, and there were games for the kids and drinks for the adults.
Austin grabbed a beer as soon as we were all outside and offered me one.
I shook my head. “Nah, man, I’m good.”
Austin shrugged and was having enough to make up for the rest of the party not drinking. I wanted to keep my wits about me. Morgan and Sutton meandered over to us, and Morgan shot Austin a disdainful look.
“Do you ever do anything other than drink?” she asked.
“Why? You want one?” He offered her the beer he had in his hand.
She rolled her eyes. “No, thanks. I’m just glad we get to have this birthday party in peace without that bitch here. No offense, Landon.”
“Offense was intended but not taken,” I told her.
Talking about Miranda pushed me to drink.
“And she had to be one of my bridesmaids,” Sutton grumbled. “You couldn’t have divorced her before the wedding?”
“Well, if you hadn’t gotten knocked up at twenty-one, then we could have probably fit it into your timetable.”
Sutton’s eyes moved over to Maverick, who was holding baby Jason. He was holding on to him as if he were precious cargo and not perturbed in the least that Sutton had wandered off without him. Kimb
er had moved over to sit next to him with Bethany in her lap.
“I have no regrets,” she pronounced just like a Wright.
Way to make your mistakes seem purposeful.
“So, are you going to finish school or what?” Morgan asked. This must have been on her mind for a long time.
Sutton shrugged. “Eh, why bother? I want to stay at home with Jason.”
Morgan’s eyes bulged. “Sometimes, I don’t know how we’re sisters.”
“You run the company, Morgan,” Sutton said, affectionately patting her on the shoulder. “I’ll do my own thing. I always have.”
“That’s for damn sure,” Austin agreed. “Do you remember that princess superhero outfit?”
“This again?” Sutton groaned.
“It’s pretty memorable,” I told her.
“What is going on over here?” Patrick asked as he sauntered into the backyard.
“Oh no, trouble is here,” Austin said. He shook hands with Patrick and clapped him on the back.
Patrick waggled his eyebrows at my sisters. “Ladies.”
“You know you’re late, right?” Morgan asked defiantly. Her eyes were trained on Patrick’s face. “You missed the surprise.”
“Yeah, sorry about that. I had to go pick up Mindi.”
Morgan took a step backward. “Who is Mindi?”
Patrick grinned at me and Austin. “The guys will tell you. She’s this bartender at West Table. We met when I was there for a business dinner.”
“A girlfriend?” Sutton asked when it was clear that Morgan couldn’t.
“Uh,” Patrick said nervously. “I mean…you know I don’t do labels and shit.”
“There are children,” I reminded him, watching this train wreck crash through the party.
“Right. Sorry, dude. Oh, here she is.” Patrick plastered on a smile as the tall brunette from Friday night sauntered into Jensen’s backyard in cutoff jean shorts, a white shirt that showed off her stomach, and cowboy boots.
Morgan went pale as a ghost as Mindi approached and waved at us.
“Hey, y’all!” she cried. “Austin. Landon.”
We nodded our heads at her and said, “Hey.”
Patrick introduced her to the girls, and I zoned out of the conversation.
Having my family all together in one place was the best. We were a close-knit group, and even though we all had skeletons in our closets, it never stopped us from loving each other. This was where it all just felt right.
But that didn’t keep me from searching out Heidi. She and Julia had just returned from wherever they had been stashed away. Heidi looked ashen, and her eyes skirted the party. She frowned when she saw our group all piled together.
And, even as Julia hurried over to hug Emery, Heidi stayed in place. She seemed frozen. Heidi wasn’t normally an outsider. She was usually a full-loving, center-of-attention kind of girl. She smiled brighter than the sun and laughed with abandon. Her personality was a big joke, and she reveled in being unique and outrageous. I adored all of these things about her.
Yet, right now, right at this very moment, she was not that girl.
Something was wrong. And I didn’t think it was me that was causing her this stress. Maybe Julia had said something, but the Heidi I knew would brush off her stresses and put on a brave face. This Heidi couldn’t seem to manage it.
Without a backward glance, I walked away from my family and left them to Patrick’s antics. My feet carried me across the backyard to where she was standing alone.
“Hey, wallflower,” I said. “What are you doing all alone?”
“Oh, hey,” she said, glancing away from me before her eyes darted back. “I didn’t realize I was making a spectacle of myself.”
“I don’t think you are. I think I’m the only one who noticed.”
She bit her lip and seemed unsure if she liked that I had noted her discomfort. “Well, thanks. I’m fine.”
“Heidi Martin is not the kind of girl who is ever just fine.”
She raised an eyebrow. “Seriously, I’m fine.”
“You usually take over the world in a group. Your personality cannot be contained. But you don’t seem happy.”
“I am happy.”
“Liar.”
She laughed humorlessly. “Well, I’m happy for Emery. I’m happy that she has her whole family here and her whole humongous new family here. Your family. I’m so happy that there’s so much love around her. She deserves that.”
“And you don’t?” I asked.
“I wasn’t talking about me.” She tucked her fair hair behind an ear and turned her head away from me.
“Weren’t you?”
“It’s silly. Forget about it.”
“It’s not silly if you’re upset. Talk to me, Heidi,” I encouraged her. “If we have anything at all, it’s that we can talk to each other. You know that I’m here. That I’ll listen.”
She met my gaze and must have seen how sincere I was because her shoulders relaxed. “It’s just…I don’t have a family. So, sometimes, being around a family like yours is overwhelming. You know?”
I didn’t. Not really. I’d always had a big family. I’d always wanted a big family. That had been a sticking point with Miranda in the last year. It worried me that Heidi might feel the same.
“Overwhelming how?”
“I don’t know. Like…it’s hard to be around all these people who know and love each other so much and not feel kind of…jealous. I feel horrible even thinking like that, but the only family I have is Emery. And then I see all of you together and Emery’s family, who practically took me in, and I just…want that.”
Relief flooded me. I couldn’t even believe I had thought for a second that she would be anything like Miranda. Heidi felt bad because she was alone, and she wanted more. It was refreshing and a completely understandable emotion.
“You’re not alone, you know?” I said.
“Well, the family I do have doesn’t count,” she said harshly.
“I wasn’t talking about your dad, but we can if you’d like.”
She shook her head once fiercely. “I don’t want to talk about him. He’s in prison where he belongs.”
I nodded, giving her the room she needed. It wasn’t a secret to anyone that Heidi’s dad was in prison for money laundering and drug trafficking. When the economy had tanked, he’d almost lost the bar, and he had resorted to illicit means to keep afloat. It had all caught up with him in the worst possible way. It had been a huge scandal, and Hank Martin was a name that everyone in town knew.
“We can talk about your dad when you’re ready.”
“Don’t hold your breath,” she muttered.
“In the meantime, you are not alone. Emery might be tried and true, but I’m not going anywhere. You don’t have to want a family like that when we’re standing right in front of you, accepting you into the fold. It might take some getting used to. I know we’re an…interesting bunch. But you never have to search for family again when you have mine right in front of you.”
I was offering her my family on a platter. I knew that they all already loved Heidi. Jensen thought she was an incredible employee and a great best friend. Austin thought she was hilarious and a fun person to hang out with. High praise from him. Heidi and Morgan used to cheer together. They were already bonded. And Sutton had always wanted to be like Emery and Heidi when we were in high school.
My family already accepted her more than they had ever accepted Miranda.
And Heidi had no clue.
Heidi breathed out a sigh and seemed to take in what I had told her. “You sure know how to calm a girl down.”
“Just you, Heidi.”
Heidi laughed. “Knowing your track record, I have to agree with that.”
“Now, are you feeling better? Want to come join the cool kids’ table?”
“Popularity is so overrated, Landon.”
I grinned. That was the exact opposite of the Heidi I’d known in high schoo
l. “Come on, cheerleader. Get it moving. Jensen is going to start grilling soon, and you do not want to be over here, standing in his way, when he gets near a grill. Come grab a beer, and hang out with us. We don’t bite. Well, I can’t guarantee Austin.”
Heidi giggled, and her whole face brightened. Whatever demons she had been facing disappeared into the clouds. She was just the confident, bubbly girl I found utterly fascinating.
And, when she seamlessly integrated into my family for the rest of the afternoon, it was like everything in the whole world was going right.
Eighteen
Heidi
Almost two weeks later, on Friday morning, I was called into a meeting before I even made it to the elevator.
“What for?” I asked Max.
He was one of our lead engineers and the least pleasant of the guys in my department.
“Didn’t ask. Just said to do it. I’m grabbing people as they get here.”
“All right,” I said with a raised eyebrow.
I took the elevator up to our floor with a sense of urgency. The last time we’d had a meeting, we’d found out that Landon was the new boss. I sure hoped that this meant that Landon was getting a new job in a different department…or floor. Because walking past him every day on my way to my desk was starting to turn into the best part of my day, and I wasn’t sure how I felt about that.
Not that anything had happened. He had been the perfect gentleman. Maybe too much of a perfect gentleman, considering the energy that had been building between us. I thought he was waiting for my move since I’d rebuffed him so many times. And I couldn’t see that I would make it.
I sighed and decided not to worry about it. A decision for another day. I rallied a smile for Landon as I passed his office but was surprised to find it empty.
Huh.
He was usually in the office bright and early on Fridays.
Strange.
I shrugged it off and headed into the conference room. Matt greeted me with a wave. He was in a lime-green plaid shirt with a navy-blue bow tie with polka dots and suspenders today. His outfit choices always made me giggle.
“Hey, Matt,” I said, taking the seat next to him.