"How do I accept it?" Callisto asked, setting aside the question of how Denzil could compare Mervyn's approach to other wizards' approaches.
"I don't—I can't really explain. You just do. It's like… casting a spell, the ending of it. You follow through," Denzil said impatiently.
"Does it hurt?" Callisto asked, trying not to feel stupid. "If he has to force it?"
"Just uncomfortable, and it doesn't work as well if you have to transfer energy, which is why most wizards will try for a consensual bond before forcing the issue," Denzil said, finally pausing his restless pacing and leaning against the wall near where Callisto was sitting.
"Will Mervyn take energy?" Callisto asked curiously. He wouldn't object if Mervyn did, not after everything Mervyn had done and was doing for him.
"If he ends up casting any fresh spells, then probably. I don't think wizards can help it—it's automatic. The few times Mervyn has drawn from me, he never meant to," Denzil said pensively. "So if you decide to bond with Mervyn, that's something you'll have to deal with."
"What's it like?" Callisto asked, frowning worriedly. If it was anything like the energy drain Baldric had put in place… he'd probably still do it, because it was Mervyn.
"It's… strange. Not painful, not at all, especially if you accept the bond, and Mervyn doesn't have to force it," Denzil said, running a hand through his hair and further disheveling it. "It tingles, I guess, like when your arm or something falls asleep, except right here instead." Denzil tapped his chest, above where his heart was.
"That makes sense," Callisto said, echoing Denzil's movement and touching the charm under his shirt. "That's where the—where Baldric's charm pulled from."
"Right," Denzil muttered, frowning thoughtfully. Callisto waited, somewhat impatiently, wondering if there was more to it. Probably, since none of what Denzil told him was too strange.
"Was there anything else?" Callisto asked curiously, when Denzil just frowned pensively. "Mervyn has to cast a spell, right?"
"Yes," Denzil said distractedly, focusing his gaze on Callisto again. "It's one of the few spells a wizard can cast without a charm, probably because it draws on fairy power to sustain it."
Callisto nodded, unsurprised. Both Baldric's power-drawing charm and Mervyn's replacement heart did the same thing. "Okay," Callisto said, fidgeting briefly with the cuffs of his shirt before making himself stop. "What else?"
Denzil sighed, scrubbing his hand through his hair again. "I'm probably going to explain this poorly, so bear with me. Once the bond sets, you can sort of feel each other. I think it's a side effect of using fairy power to seal the bond."
"Feel each other?" Callisto repeated, baffled for a moment. "Oh, like… when you spell a tree to find out what's wrong with it? You can feel that it's there and sense what's wrong with it?"
"Right," Denzil said, looking relieved. "Just like that, only with you feeling Mervyn." He paused then asked, "They let you diagnose trees? They never let me do that."
"Only as training. They'd figure out what was wrong then have me try," Callisto said, shrugging. He'd been wrong more often than not—no matter what their parents said, he wasn't very good at caring for trees.
"Ah," Denzil said, rolling his eyes. "Did you want to go back, Callisto? We can make it happen, if you do, even if we don't find your real heart."
"How?" Callisto asked, shaking his head. "You know how they are. The least bit of wizard taint—even a scar—and they'll pretend I never existed."
"We'd figure something out. A charm to hide your scars, or add something into your heart charm to obfuscate it," Denzil suggested. "It wouldn't be easy or quick, but we could do it, if that's what you want."
"I don't know," Callisto admitted, shrugging helplessly. "What would I do here, if I stayed? I know how to work an orchard and not much else."
"You paint," Denzil said, his tone suggesting Callisto should have thought of that already. "I didn't know anything but the orchard when I first got here. If you're not happy there, we can find you something you want to do here."
"Right," Callisto said quietly, rubbing at his forehead.
"Before you decide anything, let's go get Baldric arrested," Denzil said, pushing away from the wall. "Then you can decide if you don't want anything further to do with us."
"I don't think anything—" Callisto started, standing up from his seat on the stairs. "I'm not going to go back to mostly ignoring you, Denzil."
"Good," Denzil said, flashing a quick grin—the happiest Callisto had seen since the first time Malone had visited with the news that Baldric had stolen Callisto's heart. "Then let's get you back to Mervyn so he can work his magic on you."
Callisto flushed, but ignored Denzil's smirk. He wasn't sure which was worse—knowing or not knowing how the binding would work.
"Good luck," Denzil said, pausing by the door to the salon. Callisto nodded, feeling briefly guilty that Denzil was stuck bonding with Malone since he obviously wasn't pleased with it.
"You, too," Callisto said quietly, hoping Malone was at least as nice as Mervyn was about the binding.
"Yeah, yeah," Denzil muttered, looking sour again. He didn't say anything though, just turned and let himself back into the salon. Callisto waited a second before continuing on down the hallway to the library. He shouldn't be nervous about this, but knowing that and not actually being nervous were two different things.
He trusted Mervyn. Denzil trusted Mervyn. Mervyn wouldn't decide to not dissolve the binding once they returned from Baldric's warehouse. Ergo, he shouldn't be worried. It was probably just that he'd never done this before. What if he screwed up? Even if what Denzil had said made it seem like it was pretty much all controlled by Mervyn, Callisto was sure there was some way he could mess it up.
But what could he do at this point? Back out? Stay here while Mervyn and Denzil and Malone when out to confront Baldric on his behalf?
No, he'd just have to deal with it. Denzil had done it before, many times if his descriptions were anything to go by. If Denzil could do it, there was no reason Callisto couldn't. Touching the charm under his shirt briefly, Callisto then opened the library door and let himself inside.
Mervyn was sitting in the little reading nook where Callisto usually settled, jotting notes into one of the seemingly endless notebooks he had stashed around the house.
Curious—what could Mervyn be working on now, with only a few hours to go before they left to confront Baldric?—Callisto crossed the library to the reading nook a little more quickly. Mervyn looked up distractedly as Callisto approached the side of his chair, blinking a few times before smiling in greeting.
"So did Denzil try to talk you out of it?" Mervyn asked, setting his notebook and pen on the table in front of him as Callisto took a seat in the closest chair.
"He didn't really try," Callisto said, nervous all over again. "He just told me what it's like."
"Good," Mervyn said, making a face. "From what he's told me, it's quite different how the spell casting feels from your end."
"Just the spell casting?" Callisto asked, curious despite his nerves. "Do you feel the bond the same way?"
"As far as I can tell, yes," Mervyn said, smiling cheerfully. "Though that's all hearsay, of course."
"Have you bonded to anyone besides Denzil?" Callisto asked shyly, wondering if that was rude to ask.
"Once," Mervyn said, frowning briefly. "In an emergency, but it only lasted a few minutes before I dissolved it."
Callisto hesitated, but decided against asking more, since whatever the circumstances, it obviously wasn’t a happy memory for Mervyn.
"On that note, if you ever want the bond dissolved, just say the word," Mervyn said, completely serious. "Be it a few minutes in, or even while I'm casting the spell, just let me know and I'll break it."
"I will," Callisto said, resolving to not say a word unless it was completely unbearable. He was going to go with them, no matter how strange the bond might feel. "Denzil didn't say anything about
how the casting works."
"It's pretty simple," Mervyn said, falling into what Callisto thought of as 'teacher mode.' "There's no charm, since the spell basically uses us as the charm."
"Using my magic," Callisto said, since Denzil had said that.
"Right," Mervyn said, smiling. He leaned forward, holding a hand out towards Callisto. "We need only to be touching, and the spell casting takes only a moment. It's very simple, nothing like the charm spells I've cast for you before."
"We do it now?" Callisto asked, taking Mervyn's hand shyly.
"Unless you have objections," Mervyn said, squeezing Callisto's hand reassuringly.
Callisto shook his head, then said, "Go ahead."
"Okay. Just try to stay relaxed, okay?" Mervyn said, quiet and soothing. Callisto nodded, taking a deep breath and relaxing as much as he could convince his stiff muscles to unbend. Mervyn started chanting quietly, his hold on Callisto's hand solid and secure. A strange pressure started building in Callisto's chest, making it harder to breathe. It felt like a strangely muted version of Baldric's heart charm and the way it constricted his chest.
Except this was unequivocally not Baldric's charm—it was unmistakably Mervyn, and Callisto could feel that, though he wasn't sure how he was supposed to 'accept' it like Denzil had said. Mervyn was still chanting, though, and Callisto took another deep breath, letting it out slowly.
Mervyn stopped chanting then, and Callisto hesitated, but then pulled at the magic he so seldom used, forcing it up and out and the bond settled into place resoundingly, sending a searing burst of pain through the hole in his chest where the charm resided.
Callisto doubled over, breathing shallowly, but the pain disappeared as quickly as it had appeared. Blinking, Callisto sat up slowly, trying to reach for the charm, but his hand was still tangled with Mervyn's, and Mervyn was kneeling in front of him, looking concerned.
"Are you all right?" Mervyn asked, peering worriedly up at him. He didn't release his hold on Callisto's hand, but Callisto didn't mind at all.
"I think so," Callisto said, and the bond really was as Denzil had described. He could feel Mervyn; not strongly, but well enough to tell he was physically okay and close.
"It shouldn't have hurt you," Mervyn said, frowning. "I wonder…"
"What?" Callisto prompted when Mervyn just sat there, staring at Callisto's chest distractedly.
"I wonder if, by installing his charm, Baldric warped your energy paths," Mervyn said, reaching out and tapping the charm under Callisto's shirt. "There's a theory—just a theory, mind you, no one has ever proven it's truth—that the center of every wizard's and every fairy's power is collected in the torso. Specifically, near the heart or in the heart. By placing the charm there, Baldric may have purposefully disrupted that, though how he knew to put it there and how he made it work at all is beyond me."
"So it will hurt like that every time I use magic?" Callisto asked, wondering if that was what Mervyn was trying to say.
"Just when you bond or give energy, I believe," Mervyn said, shaking his head a little, as though to clear it. "I am sorry. I never meant to cause you pain."
"You couldn't have known," Callisto said, shrugging. "It doesn't hurt anymore, at least."
"Good," Mervyn said, smiling at him, and he still hadn't let go of Callisto's hand, but Callisto wasn't going to think too much into that yet. "The bond feels normal and stable from this end."
"It seems okay here, too," Callisto said, shrugging. "So far as I can tell, anyway."
"Excellent," Mervyn said cheerfully. "Let me know if that changes at all, or if you feel any pain again."
"I will," Callisto promised, reluctantly letting go of Mervyn's hand as he stood. "Um, what now?"
"Well, I have to go ready some charms in case Baldric tries anything," Mervyn said slowly. "You're welcome to come with me, if you like. Or you can get some rest before we go."
"I'd prefer to go with you," Callisto said quietly, shrugging awkwardly. "I think I'm too keyed up about it to rest or read."
"I thought as much," Mervyn said, waiting for Callisto to stand before moving to collect his notebook. "I'm the same way, usually. I don't know how Denzil can sleep before we go out and do things like this."
"Denzil is very good at sleeping," Callisto said wryly, unsurprised. "How often do you do things like this?"
"Once every few months," Mervyn said, opening the door to the hallway. "Malone has gotten special dispensation from the Inspector General to use Denzil and I as supplementary forces. Being an Investigator isn't exactly a prestigious job for a wizard, and it's a job most fairies stay away from, so I think he was pleased to have us in any respect."
"Ah," Callisto said quietly, wondering what else Denzil had his fingers in that he hadn't shared. Though he couldn't complain too much, considering he and Denzil hadn't spoken much before this ill-fated trip into the city. Hopefully the past experiences Mervyn and Denzil had shared would help ensure that everything went smoothly this time.
"Come on, I'll show you some of my more exciting fire spells," Mervyn said, smiling mischievously. "Even the one that caught Denzil on fire. He completely deserved it for poking around in my fire work room, and he was only lightly singed, so don't believe whatever he tells you about it."
Callisto laughed, distracted, and he decided to just focus on Mervyn and his myriad charms in the next few hours, rather than try and come up with every possible way storming Baldric's warehouse could go wrong.
*~*~*
Mervyn adjusted the collar of his jacket against the late evening's breeze, wondering if there would ever be a point when he didn't get nervous about going on a mission like this. He'd been on a dozen trips to check out wizards—with Denzil, with Malone, and with both of them together. Usually they weren't sure beforehand whether the wizard they were checking out was actually behind whatever they were investigating. Perhaps part of his anxiety stemmed from knowing what Baldric was capable of. Another part was definitely Callisto's presence.
Mervyn glanced over at Callisto walking beside him, but if Callisto was nervous, it didn't show on his face. Mervyn half-wished Callisto had stayed behind, except Callisto had just as much right to be here, to possibly confront Baldric, as Denzil did. Mervyn wasn't going to get in the way of that, even if they ran the risk of Callisto finding out first-hand that his original heart was gone.
"How are you doing?" Mervyn asked, pitching his voice low so that Denzil and Malone, walking in front of them, couldn't hear.
"Okay," Callisto said, glancing at him briefly, but he was obviously lying.
"I'm nervous," Mervyn confided, smiling sheepishly. Callisto stared at him for a second, obviously not having expected that admission. "I always am, no matter how many times we do this sort of thing."
"How many times have you done this, again?" Callisto asked, glancing at Denzil and Malone before returning his attention to Mervyn.
"About a dozen. Sometimes with just Denzil, sometimes with just Malone, and sometimes with both," Mervyn said, tucking his hands in his pockets.
"And it always goes as planned?" Callisto asked, his quiet voice getting even more so, making Mervyn strain to pick out his words.
"Usually, and when it doesn't, we're pretty good at improvising," Mervyn said, hoping that was reassuring in some measure. "None of us have ever been hurt doing this, either."
"Because of the shield charms?" Callisto asked, lifting his left wrist, where the shield charm Mervyn had given him was wrapped around his wrist. All he had to do was press a button on the watch-shaped charm, and an opaque shield would protect him from any charms Baldric cast.
"That, and we're good at what we do," Mervyn said, smiling cheerfully. Callisto looked briefly amused for a moment before his expression turned solemn again.
"It will be okay, Callisto," Mervyn said reassuringly. "If we get in the warehouse and it looks too dangerous, Malone will call it off and come back with more Investigators." Callisto nodded, but he was still worried. Mervy
n could tell that even without the pressure of the bond telling him so. "How long do you think Denzil will last before he snaps and tries to kill Malone?" Mervyn asked, stepping closer to Callisto so he could drop his voice some.
Callisto laughed a little, studying Denzil's back speculatively. "I'm surprised he's lasted this long."
"Me, too," Mervyn said, wondering how much Denzil was going to bitch later about being paired with Malone. A lot, probably. Maybe he could somehow foist that off on Callisto, except that wasn't very nice.
"We're close," Malone announced, turning towards them. Denzil scowled, turning quickly on his heel, but he didn't say a word about Malone's sudden stop. "You remember what you have to do?"
"Callisto and I are going in the front, since he's probably concentrated whatever defenses he has in place at the back," Mervyn rattled off obediently.
"We don't split up, no matter what," Callisto said, fidgeting briefly with his shield charm.
"We keep in touch if we find anything important," Mervyn said, touching the communication charm he wore around his neck. Denzil wore the match, since he refused to let Malone have it.
"Go slowly, and leave if you run into trouble," Malone said gravely. "Don't try to be heroic. If Baldric's there and proves to be dangerous, we can contain him in the building until we have back-up."
Callisto nodded, and Mervyn hoped it didn't come to anything as drastic as that. He and Malone both had the set of charms necessary to restrain Baldric and prevent him from using his magic; if they got close enough, neutralizing him would be simple.
"Let's go then," Malone said, and Denzil made a face at him, but stayed quiet. Thankfully, Denzil was good at not fussing or bitching too much in the middle of an important task.
Callisto nodded again, and Mervyn waited until Malone and Denzil started walking again to reach out and grab Callisto's hand. Callisto glanced at him, obviously startled by the gesture. "For safety," Mervyn said solemnly. "At least, that's what I plan to tell Denzil."
Callisto laughed, smiling shyly, and Mervyn smiled back, pleased that Callisto understood. He squeezed Callisto's hand and started walking again, trying to tamp down his own nerves as much as he could. Whatever residual effect was echoing through the bond wouldn't be helping Callisto stay calm.
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