Arianna wanted to collapse. She wanted to shout and throw things. If the Maker had been so intent on keeping her silent and weak, why hadn’t he just let her die? It would have saved their entire city trouble and heartache. But one look at the broken expression on her mother’s face and the way her shoulders drooped rid Arianna of all temptations to throw such a childish tantrum. Instead, she drew in a deep breath and took her hand.
I’ll stay, she motioned. You go.
“Absolutely not. I am not leaving you here alone!”
“What’s the delay?” Amadeo called out as he swam toward them. “General Maro says we should be leaving any time.”
Arianna watched her father’s face closely as the driver explained the situation. It went from its usual shade of bone white to almost gray. After the driver had finished, a long moment passed before anyone spoke.
“So . . .” He stopped. “I . . . I mean, Ari . . .” He looked at Arianna, his graying hair suddenly looking much whiter than it had before.
In that moment, Arianna realized just how much the war had aged her father. She had never seen him at such a loss for words.
“I will stay with her.”
Everyone turned to see Renata swimming toward them. Arianna felt a pang of guilt. Her aunt had been so excited about the journey. Her dark hair was pulled up into an ornate hairnet sprinkled with gems and gold, and she wore her nicest camicett. Arianna shook her head, but Renata put her finger to Arianna’s lips. “I’m afraid I had wondered how this journey would work, but I had hoped. Still, it will be little different than it ever was before. And Ari and I have always had good fun together, haven’t we?”
“May I speak with you? Alone.” Giana was not smiling at all as she grabbed her husband’s arm and dragged him back up to the tower. Renata and the driver swam a respectful distance away, but Arianna stayed put.
“Having her raise my daughter has been hard enough!” Giana whispered. “But leaving them alone together?”
“Do you think I want to leave Ari?” Arianna’s father retorted. “But what else do you propose we do? She will be in more danger if she comes with us than if she stays.”
“I’m not entirely convinced of that. The war may be over, but pirates aren’t attacking Gemmaqua the way they attack us here. And I know you don’t want to listen to me, but on the day of the humans’ drowning—”
“I told you we’re through with this conversation.”
Arianna had never heard her father use that tone with her mother, and it heightened her anxiety even more.
“The charms were tampered with. My sister had nothing to do with that,” he said firmly.
“Can you really be so blind? After all the nonsense that happened after Angelo died? You really think she couldn’t do something like that again?”
“Not another word, Giana.”
There was a long pause, and Arianna had nearly made up her mind to swim up to the tower when Amadeo said quietly, “I’m sorry. As much as you may not believe me, I miss her, too.” Another pause. “Renata loves her. I’ve never seen Renata love anyone the way she does Ari, except for maybe Angelo. She would protect her with her life. You know that.”
Arianna’s heart nearly broke in two when Giana began to sob.
“Let’s try . . . just once more!” Giana pleaded. “The journey will take less than a week. Let her try!”
Arianna didn’t even pretend she hadn’t been eavesdropping as her parents swam down from the tower.
“Simone,” Amadeo said in a tired voice, “how deep would she need to be in order to travel safely?”
The merman sang a single note to his charge, and the dolphin arced the sleigh down just below the level of the theater’s roof.
“What do you think, Ari?”
“She’s been practicing,” Renata said as she watched the sleigh come to a stop. “Perhaps . . .” She looked at Arianna. “Try, love. See what you can do.”
Arianna took a steadying lungful of water before making the descent. Seating herself in the sleigh’s back, she closed her eyes and breathed in and out as slowly as she could, a technique she’d been practicing with Renata for remaining deep. Breathe, she told herself. Be calm. She would sleep if she must.
For several long minutes, Arianna sat still and no one said a word. She could feel the dolphin moving about a little as if to protest their stillness, but she did not allow that to deter her. She would go with her family, she thought to distract herself, another technique she’d learned over the last few years. She would go to the capital and meet friends. Perhaps she would find someone—
Her heart hitched, and the palpitation was enough to ruin her forced calm. Immediately, the ocean pressed her against the sleigh’s floor. She slipped down silently as the weight of the waves and tides threatened to crush her lungs and ensure she stayed silent forever.
Just as she was about to lose consciousness, she felt her father’s strong arms lift her and tuck her tightly against his chest as he darted higher. Her mother’s soothing healing song soon began to lift the effects of the ocean’s weight. But it could not lift her spirits.
Arianna didn’t know how long her family floated in the same place. All she knew was that her father’s strong arms encircled her as he sang his deepest song of mourning. Her mother and aunt joined in as well with their wailing harmonies.
“She will learn!” Renata finally said, pulling back and breaking off the song. “She is eighteen years now and stronger than ever!” She gave a strained laugh. “She and I will practice until she can safely make the swim. Then we will go to Gemmaqua together!” Her cheeks were red, and though there were no tears to roll down her face underwater, Arianna knew that her aunt was crying. “The Protectors taught me to tolerate the sun enough to do my job. She will learn how to accept the ocean enough to make the swim.” Renata’s smile was fierce. “I promise you, Ari! You’ll be with your family once again, if it’s the last thing I do.”
Arianna waited until her aunt was sleeping heavily in the next room over. Their tower was even more silent than usual without the ever-echoing Protector songs in the distance.
This frightened Arianna more than she wanted to admit. They were truly alone now. After waving goodbye to her family that afternoon with the biggest smile she could muster, it occurred to her that she and her aunt were all that was left of the sea remnant that had fought the Sun Crown. And lost. Now there was only one voice left to protect them both, and Arianna was leaving that voice behind her tonight. She pulled on her black camicett and slipped out the window.
The Sun Crown hadn’t made an attack for a fortnight. According to her father, Queen Drina and Prince Michael had agreed to end the war completely after the old Sun Crown’s death. But did they know the merpeople were leaving the coastal city? Or would they continue to harass Arianna and her aunt until their deaths?
Despite her reservations, Arianna knew she needed to go. She wouldn’t go far, she promised herself, and it would only be for a few minutes. But the longer she stayed in her room, the more she felt the tower walls closing in on her. She hadn’t had a breath of fresh air since the war had begun, and her need for it was sudden and desperate. It was a foolish notion, but she was convinced that she could leave her pain at the bottom of the ocean if she went high enough fast enough. If she could just breathe.
Arianna had forgotten what winter felt like above the surface, and when she finally broke the waves and inhaled hard and fast, the frigid air felt like it would cut her lungs. But it was a beautiful pain, one she welcomed again and again as she drank deeply of the air.
She had purposefully surfaced far from the Sun Palace. Her father’s men had often spoken of palace guards watching for merpeople activity day and night. When she happened to turn in the direction of the palace, however, there were no guards that she could see. There were no warships outside of the harbor. Only one light shone out on the palace terrace. Arianna’s curiosity got the best of her, and she allowed herself to swim a few fathoms close
r. She didn’t dare visit the terrace itself. But she needed to see.
A young man stood alone at the balcony overlooking the waves. She wondered what he was looking at. There were no stars tonight, and the waves must have been nearly invisible to his human eyes. When she drew a little nearer, however, she realized with a start that she was looking at the prince.
He was nearly unrecognizable. He’d grown at least a foot taller since she’d seen him five years before, and his body no longer looked as though he were caught between boy and man. Even his dark contour looked intimidating, for his shoulders had widened noticeably, and his legs were much thicker as well.
What was he doing outside by himself? There were no nieces about, and the wind must be chafing his cheeks and hands uncomfortably. And yet he simply stood there, one foot up on the balcony and his elbow resting on his knee. Her curiosity was rewarded, however, when he took a deep breath and began to sing.
The saddest song Arianna had ever heard floated out to her on the breeze. It wasn’t anything like a merperson’s voice. This voice was slightly off-key and rather weak. But the way it rose and fell was heartbreakingly honest, and Arianna was suddenly filled with the conviction that she was not alone in her mourning. And though she would not for the world have wished sorrow on him, there was a peace she couldn’t deny in knowing that one soul, at least, shared her pain tonight. For one small moment in time, she was not alone.
9
Worthy of a Prince’s Gaze
“Did you get these from the kelp farm?” Renata raised her perfectly shaped eyebrows at Arianna, who nodded happily in return. “Well then,” her aunt smiled as she began to stretch the sheets of kelp out on the table, “I am more than impressed. See how far you’ve come in only two months?”
How long do you think until I’m ready to go? Arianna wrote.
“That I can’t say for sure, unfortunately. It’s a four-day journey.” She touched Arianna’s cheek. “But don’t lose heart. Your strength is coming. You can’t demand your body to change faster than it is able. Now, help me cut these.”
Arianna smiled and took the corners of the kelp tightly in her hands. Her aunt was right, of course. Even she had surprised herself with her visit to the kelp farm that afternoon.
The days immediately following her people’s departure had been difficult. Every time she stopped and listened to the silence of the ocean, a hole had seemed to open in her heart. Of course, Renata always kept up her songs of protection against the creatures that might come too close to the tower, but the ocean was altogether too silent.
Still, in the two months that had passed, Arianna had found a contentment that she’d never known before. Without the servants to prepare their food or mend their clothes or repair the tower, Arianna and Renata were kept busy. Every moment that wasn’t spent practicing in the lower depths was used to keep their little life afloat. And that suited Arianna just fine. She didn’t mind hard work. Though Renata was the one to sing the songs of growing, healing, nurturing, and protection, there was plenty to help with that did not require a voice. It made Arianna feel useful, something she was less than accustomed to.
When she stretched and cut the kelp with her aunt or used her little knife to harvest clams, she felt just as useful as any merperson. And she dared to wonder if others might view her that way, too, when they arrived at the capital and her family could see what she had become.
How did you and Angelo meet? Arianna wrote when they sat down later to eat their evening meal.
Renata paused, her food halfway to her mouth. She stayed frozen for a long moment before putting the shell back in her bowl and giving Arianna a far-off look. Arianna tried to calm her suddenly racing pulse. Her question touched territory few were brave enough to broach with Renata. Even now, there was pain in her aunt’s lovely eyes, and Arianna nearly felt guilty until she saw the warmth there as well.
“He was a Grower,” she finally said in a soft voice. Then she smiled at the kelp on the table. “As I was a Protector, I often patrolled the border between our kingdom and the southern merpeople’s. I lived in the capitol back then, of course, and my job was to take note of all who crossed between regions to speak with my father. Angelo worked in the kelp fields near my post, so we saw one another often.”
She gave a small chuckle. “The job was often tedious, despite its importance, and he loved to tease. Every day I would take my post only to be greeted by songs poking fun at my koros. I was annoyed at first, as I took my duty seriously, but it wasn’t long before I was unable to resist sending back a few lines of foolishness myself.”
Did Grandfather mind that he wasn’t a royal or noble?
Renata shook her head. “Humans care about such matches much more than merpeople. As only one of his children or grandchildren would inherit the Sea Crown, and that would be decided through the triton’s contest, we were allowed to do as we pleased. Your parents are a rare couple, actually, both coming from royalty or nobility. Anyhow, I don’t know how it really happened, but after months of making fun of one another, we both came to the sudden realization that we didn’t want to tease anyone else for the rest of our days.”
Arianna put down her food and leaned forward. How many times had she imagined herself conversing and laughing with a young man? What she wouldn’t give to have someone to tease. Or have the voice to tease.
“He proposed at sunrise,” Renata whispered. Then she let out a strangled laugh. “He wrote the proposal into a song that made fun of the staff I carried. I didn’t even realize he’d asked me to marry him until I had thrown that staff at him for his impertinence.”
Arianna gave her aunt a wistful smile. How difficult it must be to not know what would have been. And yet, to have had someone love her that much for even a short time must have been bliss.
“Ari,” her aunt said, suddenly shifting uncomfortably. “There’s something I’ve been meaning to talk to you about.”
Arianna’s appetite disappeared. With a small sigh, she took up a camicett that needed mending and focused hard on the little stitches the sewing required. Sewing wasn’t her favorite task, but the work seemed immediately more alluring than whatever topic her aunt was now approaching.
“I know you’re excited about our move to the capital, as am I. But I couldn’t bear it if you got your hopes up and . . .” She sighed, and Arianna refused to look up. “Most mermen are . . . They are not like your brother. I don’t know if your mother ever told you, but our koroses are more than our work songs. They’re our soulsongs as well. I don’t know how true it is, but many merpeople believe each soulsong is half of an unfinished harmony. We have the four koroses, but each soulsong is unique in its own way. Many merpeople find their spouses through groupsings, where people gather and sing their soulsongs to find other songs that harmonize. And . . .” She stopped and sighed.
Arianna’s hands shook as she squeezed the whalebone needle.
“Ari?”
Arianna stared down at her sewing. She refused to let Renata see her cry.
“Ari, say something.”
Arianna waited until her hands were controlled enough to grasp her pressing knife. In large, blocky words she wrote,
What else?
“What else, what?”
You were going to say that they were looking for something else as well. What else do they want?
“Actually,” Renata paused before swimming over to the tower’s southern window. Now Arianna got the feeling she wasn’t the only one avoiding eye contact. “I want you to know that you are beautiful!” Renata said in a sudden rush. “But I’m afraid . . . Well, you just look so much like a human! And that’s not a bad thing! The Maker simply saw fit to make you different—”
Arianna was up out of her clam chair in a second and then inside her room just as fast, slamming the door shut so hard it banged loudly even in the water. She could hear her aunt pleading with her to open the door, begging forgiveness and carrying on about how she must have spoken too hastily, th
at some merman would surely see Arianna for who she was, but Arianna ignored her. She threw herself down on her sponge bed and folded her arms tightly over her eyes.
So many times she had come close to telling her aunt about her temporary legs, and how she had used them to save the prince. But after war had been declared, she’d dared no such thing. The last thing her family had needed was another source of conflict between them and their people.
And now, when it was just Arianna and her aunt in the only place she’d known as home, she still couldn’t share her secret. Such a story would make her into even more of a monstrosity. Her aunt saw in her exactly what everyone else did, apparently. A half-breed that the Maker seemed to enjoy punishing, though what he was punishing her for she could not imagine. The sins of her people, perhaps? Or maybe he had created a half-human, half-mermaid in order to take out his vengeance upon both peoples for their pride and stupidity. It didn’t matter, though. All Arianna knew was that it seemed she wasn’t worthy enough for either to look upon.
Crying underwater wasn’t as comforting as it was at the surface. There were no tears to roll down her cheeks. But it did tire her to cry below as it did above, and it wasn’t long before Renata stopped calling out her name and Arianna was ready to fall into the arms of sleep.
Just as she was about to slip into unconsciousness, however, she recalled hazel eyes like the sun as they had gazed back at her without reservation. Even in the storm, Prince Michael must have seen that she was not the typical mermaid beauty who was said to allure sailors with a single glance. He had stared at her too hard to miss her yellow-white hair and pale blue eyes, or the way her skin was just a shade darker than her people’s, thanks to the sun she had spent so many hours beneath.
And yet, for one long moment, she had been worthy of a prince’s gaze.
Silent Mermaid: A Retelling of The Little Mermaid (The Classical Kingdoms Collection Book 5) Page 6