Caleb set her down on the mattress. The last place she had loved her husband. Her Ben. Her savior from long ago. He'd said she saved him, but he had saved her, too. She couldn't save him now when he needed it most. She put her face in her hands and cried and cried. She only had her baby now, still safe inside her.
She felt a hand, soft on her hair. When she looked up Caleb closed the door behind him. She heard it lock in place.
And then pain drove a spike through her abdomen. Water gushed.
Her baby was coming. A month early.
God, please no. Not in this place. It was her dream all over again, but now she was here in this prison where her family had been cleft apart. She had to keep her child inside her, but he was forcing his way out.
She smashed her fists on the door. "Help me, please." She screamed for help over and over. "I need help. My baby is coming. Please."
But no one came.
She dragged the mattress to the wall, panting in pain, and eased her swollen body down onto it. Heat hit her in waves. She unbuttoned her shirt and pulled it off. Then she unstrapped her bra freeing heavy breasts that waited to be suckled by her child. Coolness washed across them. She fought back a sob. Ben had washed them gently last night with his tongue and lips.
She pulled off the rest of her clothes preparing for her child. The chilled air hit her nakedness like a stranger violating her every crevice. Charlie had come fast. This child wanted to as well. She leaned up against the wall and pulled her legs up. Another contraction hit her.
Breathe. Breathe. She heard Ben's voice as he had whispered to her weeks ago in Lamaze class. A day when all was right with the world. She had her Ben. She had Charlie. They were a family.
She prayed now no one came to help. She wanted to see her baby. Hold him. Keep him to her breast. Let it be Ben's. She'd love him no matter who his father was. He would have a chance like Charlie had. But did Charlie have a chance now?
More pain sliced through her. She screamed and rocked on the dirty mattress she and Ben had christened with love. Their love came now, hard and fast. She pulled her legs up with her hands underneath and willed the pain away, but all her energy went to her child's fierce need to exit her body. She embraced the pain.
Her baby ripped her as he hung inside her small canal, pushing his way out. She felt the top of his head, warm and wet and pulsing in her hand. He throbbed between her legs, enormous. The pain grew so intense she had to fight to keep from fainting. Deep pressure racked her body.
Push. Push.
Oh, God, if you're in this place come to me now. Don't let me die like my mother. Don't let my son die!
And Ben came to her then, squeezing her hand as she screamed, don't let him be a freak! Only it was Charlie's birth. She prayed with Ben—but then he was gone.
"No. Don't leave me here alone."
The pain became a great flame that scorched her flesh as the musky scent of her sweat and blood infused her. The room grew hotter. Blood gushed between her legs. It flowed into the dingy mattress.
Adrian appeared before her as a ghost. He shimmered in the gloomy light. She cursed his image.
He smiled at her as she suffered. "You can do this, Laura. If you're strong enough. Feel the pain. It's yours to be enjoyed. I need you to be strong."
"You'll never get him," she whispered.
"Your son is mine. As Charlie is now. As you are. And soon you will bear more sons for me."
She closed her eyes to him, focusing on the workings of her body. When she opened them he was gone. A great wave of pressure rose through her abdomen. Her son stretched her flesh beyond her widest point, tearing her with his feral need to be cast from her body.
"Push, Laura," Ben whispered to her. "It'll be fine. I promise. Push!"
The baby blasted out of her in an explosion of blood and mucus and came to rest between her legs. She shuddered with the release of this wondrous being from her deepest core and picked him up with shaking fingers.
He cried out and so did she.
He had the face of Adrian.
White hair sprung thick on his tiny head, and his nose was wide and flat. She held him to her breast christening him now with her tears. She had given birth to a monster, but he was still her son. She wiped his face clean with her shirt. Yellow gleamed from the slits of his eyes and her heart seemed to skip a beat. His lips rooted about and she gave him her nipple. At first she had to show him how then he took to it, drinking of her life. Her aching groin throbbed with the fierce connection of her child latched to her breast.
But could she love this child? Revulsion at bringing him to life spilled through her, to know this evil had grown inside her for months. To know Adrian had really been deep inside her, pleasuring her, filling her with his seed. Her body had betrayed her.
She had wanted to believe it was Ben's child. It had been so in her dream. She put his small head in her hands. It would be so easy to bash it against the floor and kill the son of Adrian.
She squeezed her baby's head, pulled him away from her breast.
She had given him life. She could take his life.
Harder she squeezed. She held him away from her, trembling inside.
The floor was cold concrete. A few seconds is all she needed to do it.
Bash. Bash.
She could see his blood run, could end him before he became like his father.
Her son wriggled beneath her hands, mewling for food and warmth.
She lifted him high above her, readying for the force to smash him down.
Horror twisted up from her gut as madness threatened to take over. Oh my God, what am I doing?
Was she a Destroyer inside, too?
She pulled her son back to her breast, shaking over what she had almost done.
She touched each toe, each finger, blessing each one. "Benny, my little Benny."
Love filled her heart in naming her son, replacing the hate. Her finger traced a faint heart-shaped birthmark on his thigh. "You weren't created in hate. You were created in love and born in love, my sweet child."
Sorrow cut through her. Ben would never hold their child. Never know him. But then he had been saved from knowing the ugly truth—this child was not his but an alien devil's. She rocked with her baby. Cramps hit her as the afterbirth slid out of her. She lay in blood and filth, but she was alive. Her child was alive. And she was the one who could save him from his destiny here.
Then the door opened.
Adrian stood there, smiling down at her with his hideous face.
"You are strong, my Laura."
"No." Laura held Benny tighter. She had to protect him from her captor, his true father. She tried to get up, but her body failed her and her child was still attached to her.
Adrian moved toward her. "He's mine. Can't you tell? I told you I was deep inside you, Laura."
He knelt before her, his monstrous presence threatening the one thing she had left to live for. She had lain with a monster and bore his son, but she would not give up her child.
"Let him live. Please, let him live," she whispered, shrinking back.
His yellow eyes burned into hers, windows to hell. He pulled her son from her. Steel glinted in his hand.
He swung up and Laura screamed.
Then he swung down and severed the umbilical cord, as he had in her dream. He was a monster.
"No!" Laura struggled to stand but fell back. Her bloody and wailing baby branded Adrian's robe with bright red streaks. His hands were now painted with her blood, her son's blood.
He looked at her child. "Like father, like son. You've done your work well. He is my bloodline and soon we will work on creating a new child."
"No. Benny!"
Adrian swung around and with her wailing child, slammed the door behind him. The lock slid into place. She crawled after him and banged weakly on the door but finally collapsed on the floor praying this monster let her baby live. And for the first time she prayed for her own death so she wouldn't know the fate
of her children.
She welcomed death. But he did not come for her.
CHAPTER 33
Laura opened her eyes. A woman stood over her with a sheet.
"We need to clean you up."
Laura let herself be pulled up. Her naked body was sore, her flabby stomach still swollen.
Benny was gone. Her Ben was gone. Charlie was lost to her. Nothing mattered.
The woman wrapped the sheet around her, led her to another room with a stand up shower, and instructed Laura to wash herself. Blood still trickled from her. But Laura just stood under the steady stream of water that washed away her husband's touch and her child's existence. The woman sighed and washed her as a mother would a child. The water stung where she had been ripped open by her child. She didn't want to heal herself. She needed the pain. No one could take that away.
She cried as the woman's hands moved over her. And then her tears dried up. No use in crying. Deep resolve settled tight within her. And hate.
"You need stitches," the woman said after washing between her legs. "I am not allowed to heal you. Nor must you heal yourself. It's forbidden." Laura didn't want to heal herself, even if she could. She wanted to suffer. As Ben had. The woman dried Laura off, gave her underwear with a heavy pad to soak up her blood, and dressed her in a robe then told her to wait on the bed. A man came in with a bag. He looked at her with cold eyes.
"I am the doctor here. You need stitches. I am told you are to heal like any human would. There is to be no special preferential treatment for you." He moved forward and placed his bag at the foot of the bed. "Open your robe, remove your undergarments, and open your legs."
Laura did as she was told. He handled her expertly but with no kindness. She bit her lip to keep from crying out from the pain. He had no anesthesia and she felt each stitch sliding in and out of her tender skin. He injected her with a drug, to keep her powers dulled he said. Then he packed up his bag and left without looking at her. The lock clicked once more. She had no power to undo it.
She curled up on the bed. Her heavy breasts dripped with milk for her son. She crushed them to her chest fighting the urge to cry. Her breasts would soon dry up leaving no evidence she ever had a child. But there was no room for sorrow here. She must fill herself with hate, but her body and mind were so tired. She dozed.
The door opened. A short, plump woman came in carrying a baby. Laura jumped up from the bed. The woman reached out the baby to her.
Laura shook her head. "Where's my son? This baby isn't mine."
"No child is yours here. You will nurse all the babies who need it. Now sit in the rocker and take this child. When he is done I will bring you another."
Laura stared at the woman and the child. "No. I—I can't."
The woman frowned and tapped her foot. The baby cried. "If you do not take this child I will bring enforcers in here to tie you to the rocker and force this child to your breast. We all have our duties here." She pointed to the rocker in the corner, homey looking and covered in quilt patches, like something Laura had at home to nurse her little Benny. They had picked out a gliding rocker for the nursery. Blue and green. Laura sat down in it and the woman placed the baby in her arms. Laura stared at the little one. A boy with blond hair. He gurgled and her heart tugged. The woman impatiently opened Laura's robe and took her breast.
"I will do it," Laura said. She pushed her nipple into the baby's mouth. He blindly moved around it then hung on tight, sucking greedily. A deep heat tugged inside her. Whose child was this? And what woman was feeding her Benny?
The woman left. She came back with food and water, looked at Laura, and left again. Each time the door locked in place with heavy bolts.
Laura watched the little face that drank life from her, and she prayed that her own son was getting love and life from someone, too.
She had lost her husband, but she would get her sons back.
Adrian stood outside Laura's door and watched her in his mind's eye before he went in. He enjoyed watching her nurse. She waited for him, so lovely in her robe. Her long hair hung in soft waves and curved around her bare breast. She smiled at the baby who tugged on her nipple and she kissed his tiny fingers. She then moved the child to her other breast, placing it in the newborn's mouth who took her life with force.
Adrian grew hard watching her. He would have her soon. He hoped the night he had given her with her husband fueled her hatred of him. He needed her hate. Somewhere inside her lay a hidden element. A Destroyer element. And he would bring it out.
He had just come from watching another woman nurse his and Laura's baby. His people burst forth with life. His Elyon flock would continue to breed and build a strong community in numbers and power. And Laura would provide him with more sons soon enough but first someone else would prepare her for his special time with her. She was sorrowful from losing that human husband. Adrian had no patience for sorrow. He needed her submissive and strong in body and mind when he took her.
She was the powerful mate he had dreamed of for so long—his twin Feo's offspring. Feo had been dead forty years now, since he was eighteen. It had been Feo's fate to crash, punishment for not taking Adrian with him—as it had been Adrian's fate to destroy Brahm's chance of going to Earth. In ending Brahm's dream, he now fulfilled his own.
Then the memories of two dead women who took his children to the grave would finally fade away. For now, Laura's two sons comforted him and eased the pain. This pain he did not want to feel. The pain of having lost something. But in Laura he could accept this loss. A table is being prepared before me in the presence of mine enemies. My cup runneth over. Laura will make it so.
He opened the door. She looked stricken to see him. Her vulnerability washed over him like an enticing lover. She quickly covered her breasts while the baby suckled.
"Hello, my lovely Laura."
Her rage at him burned bright. And hate. She had so much hate. It served her well here.
"Murderer. Where is my baby?"
The child in her arms began to cry at her shouting and she stroked his head soothing him.
"He is being fed by another. As it should be. We do not connect to our children here as you humans do. Such a waste of energy and power. Giving in to these sentimental emotions. Treating your children as pets. Disgusting. We only work with them when they mature, to train them in our ways."
"Your evil ways." She bent her head to the baby. "You're a monster." A single, solitary tear fell on the swell of her breast. He grew hard again thinking of her moving beneath him.
"I am what I need to be and so shall you be."
"And what is that?" She looked up. Her eyes shone with loss and loathing.
"You will be a breeder like all females here."
She closed her eyes as if to shut out his presence. He caressed her with his eyes, drinking in her loveliness. Even so recently after birth she cast a glow. It made him want to devour her body and mind. He took a step forward and her eyes jerked open. "I—I need some time."
"Tomorrow you begin."
"Tomorrow? I've just given birth. My body is torn and sore. I can't." Her voice fell away. She pleaded with her eyes. "Please don't make me do this. I've lost my husband, my sons. Please."
He pointed a smooth finger at her. A slow green pulse throbbed from the end of it. It grew brighter. "I don't need to be inside you to pass my seed on to you, Laura. I can create our child within you like you were created, with the power of transference." The green tip beat faster in rhythm, seeking out her womb to fill.
Laura's insides quivered thinking of him impregnating her. He was all powerful, whether he used his finger or his sex. Bitter saliva filled her mouth.
He lowered his finger and laughed. "But I'd rather feel myself inside you—again." He moved beside her and touched the long curl that curved around her breast. He ran his fingers along the tender, rounded slope. She flinched, a prisoner, bound by duty to some other woman's child and his power. He smiled at her. She looked away.
; "If you accept your duty with honor I will heal your body and discontinue the drugs the doctor has been giving you. You will have your powers back, but you must be careful, Laura. One misstep and your baby suffers. Charlie suffers. And you, most of all."
Laura caressed the baby's head and rocked slowly, her choices racing through her brain. She looked at him. "And if I don't agree?"
"Then you will be torn apart by a lust filled male with no care for your birth ravaged body. I have the perfect male in mind. He has been withheld from breeding in punishment and is eager to take a female. And he hates humans. He will enjoy taking you, Laura. He will make you suffer and bleed worse than you did last night pushing out your baby. You may not survive." He shrugged.
She held the baby tighter to her, rocking faster now. "And if I do my duty, will I breed with you tomorrow?" She spat out the words.
He laughed. "No, I'm saving you for later. The man you'll first mate with will be gentle with you. He won't ravage you like I will, my Laura. I will consume you. We are meant to be. It's fate. Can't you see? We are two twins coming together as one, with Destroyer strength enough to rule the world."
She closed her eyes again and nodded. She began to hum.
"How do you choose, Laura? Gentle or hard?" He waited as she rocked and hummed.
"Gentle," she whispered and continued her humming.
Her eyes remained closed and he left her then, in full submission to him. He had waited seven long years for this moment. She would replace all he had lost—and more.
That day two more children were brought to Laura to nurse. She fed them her milk and as much love as she could. She rocked the babies to her breast all afternoon, comforting herself as much as them. It was all she had in her stark room of imprisonment, along with the plans that began to form in her mind. Adrian's son, Caleb, had a seed of good in him. In her brief moments with him she'd sensed his conflict. It lay murky beneath his surface, his thoughts clouded.
And Adrian. She had to let him think she would submit to him. Although the thought of it filled her with terror. He had said he had another male in mind for her before he took her. She felt sick thinking about giving her body to another man as she grieved for the one man she had ever loved.
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