“We should go.” I grab my overnight bag and start towards the door. “We have a two-hour drive ahead of us.”
He looks up, his eyes bloodshot and his hair a tussled mess. He looks miserable. “Ye’re coming?”
I nod stiffly.
Hope flares in his eyes, and he stands. “Then ye’re okay with all this?”
“I don’t know how I feel right now. It happened before we met. So, I can’t be upset with you. But I don’t know if I can keep doing this.”
His mouth tightens in a thin line. “I understand.”
He starts to reach out for me, but then his hand drops to his side.
Despite the mask of indifference I’ve cloaked myself in, my heart aches to pull him close. But I don’t. Can’t. For the first time in my life, I need to think of myself first. And no matter how much it will break my heart to walk away from the gorgeous man in front of me, I know it’s exactly what I have to do.
Chapter 24
Shane
“He’s gorgeous.” Makena coos at the newborn in her arms.
She looks natural holding him, and my chest constricts, knowing how much she wanted a child and couldn’t have one.
For half a second, I let my mind wander to what it would be like to have a family with her. For it to be our child she’s holding.
The second passes quickly as reality slams into me. In a month or two, I may be a father.
But it won’t be Makena who’ll be there making sure I don’t screw things up.
Unless I can convince her to stay.
Convince her I’ll change.
Hell, I already have.
The woman has turned me inside out and upside down, and I swear to God, I’d do anything to make her mine. And not just for a few more weeks. Forever.
“Everything okay?” Owen asks under his breath, his brows drawn down as he studies me.
“No,” I admit, knowing I can’t keep my secret from him and the guys anymore. Not when it could affect the band’s image as well.
Owen nods for me to leave the room, and we go out into the hall.
Leaning against the cold wall, I rub my palms over my face and tell Owen everything.
He’s frowning at me when I look at him. “Ye should have come to me. What are ye going to do?”
“Try to convince her that I’m not as much of a fuck-up as she thinks I am.”
A small smile tugs at his lips. “I meant about the kid.”
“Oh. Right.” I rub the back of my neck. “If it’s mine, ye know I’ll take care of it.”
Owen nods. “Ye’re a good man, Shane. I know ye don’t see it sometimes, but ye are.”
“Try telling Makena that.”
“She knows it. The woman is in love with ye.”
If she feels half of what I feel about her, then there might be a chance for us.
“I’m just not sure she’s willing to take a chance on me after everything she’s been through.”
“Have ye asked her?”
“No.”
“Ye might want to start by telling her how ye feel.”
“What, like the L-word?”
“Do ye?”
“What?”
“Love her?”
Yes. More than I ever thought possible. I nod. “It’s fucking terrifying.”
Owen laughs. “It is. But it’s also the best damn thing that will ever happen to ye.”
“Jeezus.” I breath out. “I thought the three of ye’d lost yer minds, but I get it now.”
“Then don’t fuck it up.” Owen smacks me on the shoulder. “At least, not any more than ye already have.”
I grunt.
Owen goes back into the room where the rest of the crew are still fussing over Axel.
Shit. I still can’t believe that’s what they chose to name the poor kid.
Axel Gallagher. I guess it has a slight ring to it.
My phone vibrates in my back pocket.
It’s my manager, and I’m hoping he finally has some good news for me. Or any news at all. The worst part of this whole situation is not knowing.
“Joey went through all the surveillance tapes of your floor over the past few weeks, and other than your cleaning lady, no one else entered your apartment.”
“Then how the hell did the letter get in there?”
“We’re working on it.”
“Work faster.” I hang up, just as Makena exits the room.
“I’m going down to get a coffee. Did you want something?”
I want you.
“No.”
She nods, not meeting my gaze, then starts to walk away.
And I’m about to let her.
Screw that. I may not be able to control tomorrow, but I can control my actions right now.
“Wait,” I growl out, taking three long strides to get to her, I take her hand and spin her around so that she’s facing me. “I can’t do this.”
She blinks up at me. “I’ve already released you from whatever this is. If you want me to leave, I will.”
She really has no clue how I feel about her.
“I don’t want ye to ever leave. That’s the problem.”
Her fingers fist in my shirt and she closes her eyes. “They’re just words.”
“Words are all I have, Makena.” I move so that her back is against the wall, and I’m pressed against her, my fingers tangling in her hair. She whimpers when I brush my lips against hers. I say breathlessly, “Unless ye want promises.” I kiss her again, harder this time, full of the desperation I feel. “Shit. I’ll promise to give ye the fucking moon and stars if that’s what it takes to keep ye here, beside me.”
“I…”
“I’ve lived my whole life like tomorrow may never come. I don’t want to live like that anymore. I want ye to be my tomorrow.”
“Shane…”
“Ye don’t have to make a decision now.” I pull back slightly. “Just know I’ll do anything to protect ye. Whatever happens, whatever decision ye make, I’ll always be here for ye.”
She chews on her bottom lip, her cheeks flushed, eyes swirling with emotions I can’t pinpoint.
There’s a noise at the far end of the hall, like a woman’s strangled cry, but when I glance away from Makena and look, I only get a glimpse of red hair as the figure disappears around the corner.
I glance back, and Makena’s still looking up at me. I swear there are unshed tears in her eyes.
Shit.
“What can I do?” I ask, dragging my thumb across her cheek.
“My phone…” The words come out strained, and she gives me a small smile. “The battery has been dead for a couple days, and I need to call Quinn before she freaks out.”
“I’ll go down to the gift store and get ye one. I’ll get the coffees, too.” I kiss her again, then give her my best Shane Hayes grin, before turning and heading toward the elevators.
“Shane.” Her voice stops me.
I glance over my shoulder at her.
She smiles. “I want you to be my tomorrow, too.”
With those words, I finally understand what Cillian was talking about when he said I needed to find my happiness.
Because I finally found it with Makena.
Chapter 25
Makena
Tomorrow. It’s more than a word. It’s a promise.
My stomach does a half dozen somersaults and my hands are trembling when Emer and Bree come out of Delaney’s room. I brush away the tears that have fallen down my cheeks and force a shaky smile when I see them.
“What’s wrong?” Emer asks, rushing to my side, taking my hands. “If Shane did something, I’ll-”
“No.” I laugh. It sounds a bit hysterical, but I’m still processing the things he said to me. “Everything is good.”
Emer purses her lips like she doesn’t know if she should believe me, but it’s Bree that gives me a knowing smile. Thankfully, she doesn’t ask any questions, because I’m not sure I have any answers for her right now.
>
“Delaney needs to rest,” she says.
Aiden and Owen meet us in the hallway. “We’re going to head home for a few hours, then pick Agnus up and bring her back here. Did ye want to ride with us?”
“Shane will be right back. I’ll go with him. I’ll just stay in the hall until he does.”
“Okay.” Emer gives me a hug, then the two couples disappear down the hall, their laughter and happy chatter floating through the elevator doors even after it’s closed.
Minutes tick by, the large clock on the wall letting me know that it’s been fifteen minutes since Shane left.
I don’t mind the quiet. It gives me time to think. To process everything that’s happened in the past few weeks.
A pretty redheaded nurse starts to walk down the hall towards me, but she stops suddenly when her gaze lands on me. It’s just a brief hesitation, but it still seems odd. She starts walking toward me again, her gaze glossy and slightly wild, like there’s something not quite right with her.
I hit a deer with my car once. The animal wasn’t dead, just dazed. When I’d gotten out of the car to check on it, it’s eyes had that same look the woman walking toward me has now.
A shiver races down my spine.
Maybe I’m just being paranoid, like I had been at the pub. Joey had just been trying to protect me, and my brain had turned him into a crazed stalker.
This woman was just a nurse, doing her job.
I smile at her when she passes, and I swear the woman hisses under her breath at me.
When she turns into one of the rooms, I let out the breath I’d been holding in.
Just a nurse, I repeat.
I glance over at the clock, but only a couple minutes have passed since I last checked. I begin to regret sending him off on a mission to find me a charger. All I want right now is to be with him. To talk about the tomorrows we promised each other.
Everything will be okay.
Even if the baby does end up being his. I’ll probably never have children of my own, but I can be a part of that child’s life. It might be enough to fill that ache that’s never really gone away since I found out I’d never be a mom.
With my head resting on the wall, I close my eyes briefly until I hear the squeak of rubber-soled shoes passing by me quickly.
I open my eyes to see the back of the nurse as she scurries down the hall carrying a blue bundle in her arms. It isn’t until she turns the corner that I realize it’s a baby.
Warning bells go off in my brain. Why the hell was she running with an infant in her arms? If there was an emergency, there would have been alarms or something. It’s then that I realize whose room she’d gone into earlier – Delaney’s.
Oh God.
She’s asleep in the hospital bed when I enter, and Cillian’s sprawled out in a lounge chair beside her, his eyes closed. The bassinette beside him is empty.
“Cillian.” I shake him until his eyes jerk open.
“What’s wrong?”
“Did you authorize a nurse to take Axel?” I keep my voice low, not wanting to wake Delaney up in case I’m just overreacting.
“What?” He’s suddenly wide awake. “No.”
“Call Security. I’m sorry, I thought she was a nurse-”
“Who?”
“I don’t know. A redhead. Wearing pink scrubs. Just call. Have them lock the exits.” I rush out of the room. I hear Delaney’s cry just as I turn the same corner the woman went.
This can’t be happening.
There are three doors in the direction she took. One is a restroom that’s unoccupied, one’s a locked custodial room, and the other leads to the stairwell.
I burst through them, glancing down. Nothing. Until I hear the squeak of shoes somewhere below me, followed by a newborn’s cry.
She’s in here.
I take the stairs as quickly as my feet will allow, adrenaline racing through me so that I barely feel the pain that slices through my knee when I turn a corner too quickly.
An alarm sounds over the intercom issuing a Code Pink.
Good.
There will be security at every exit. I just hope to God that she doesn’t do anything to harm the child.
One floor below me, I hear a door open, and as I turn the corner, I see a blur of red hair before it shuts again.
I push through, not knowing what I’m going to do if I catch up with her, but knowing I can’t let her out of my sight.
Who the hell is she?
When the woman comes to a sudden halt at the end of hall, I freeze when I see what caused her reaction.
Shane. Carrying two coffee cups, a small plastic bag, and an insanely large stuffed panda bear under one arm. The vision would normally have a smile itching at my lips. But my first reaction is to yell at him to stop the woman.
I don’t have time to, because his gaze drifts to the redhead and his eyes widen in recognition. Her name is on his lips instantly. “Emily?”
Even with the distance between us, I see the crazed lovestruck look that makes her eyes widen and her face turn a shade of pink. It’s a look that’s more than just a celebrity crush. And I have an aching suspicion she’s someone to him, and that I’ve just placed myself in a bigger mess than I could ever have imagined.
Chapter 26
Shane
“What are ye doing here?” I frown down at the small redhead in front of me. My agent hired the woman a few months ago to clean my Dublin apartment.
“I…I…” Her eyes dart around frantically.
“What are ye doing here?” I glance down at the baby Emily’s holding, an uneasy feeling forming in the pit of my stomach. “Whose baby is that?”
“He’s…he’s ours.” Her eyes brighten, and she smiles. She fucking smiles.
“Ours?” I tilt my chin down, my breathing coming out in small panicked breaths, because I have no idea how insane this chick is, or what she’s willing to do in order to fulfill whatever fucked-up fantasy is going on in her head.
“We can finally be a family,” she says, her blue eyes looking almost fevered.
Jeezus. The woman must be on something. Because the few times I’d seen her over the past months, she’d seemed perfectly sane. And yet, something tugs at my memory. A warning. Like I’m missing a part of the puzzle.
The woman’s young. Early twenties. She’d been spunky and full of energy the first time I’d met her. Sure, she’d seemed more than a little star-struck, but that wasn’t anything out of the ordinary. And she’d always done a good job keeping the place clean when I wasn’t around, which was most of the time.
“You had a baby?” I ask cautiously.
She blinks at me. “I wrote you letters. Did you get them?”
Letters?
Shit.
They were from her.
I glance down at her petite form, knowing there’s no way in hell she’d been pregnant recently, let alone just had a baby. Taking a step towards her, I look at the infant in her arms. All newborns look the same to me, with their wrinkled, red faces, but I’m starting to get the aching feeling the child doesn’t belong to her.
A small movement behind the woman catches my gaze, and I see Makena frowning at me halfway down the hall.
Fuck.
What the hell is going on?
There’s something in the way she looks at me, with pure panic in her eyes, and I know I’m right about the kid. If it’s not hers, then I have a really bad feeling the baby is Cillian and Delaney’s little boy.
I see Makena move toward us, and I shake my head, warning her not to come closer.
“Do you remember that night?” Emily says, tears in her eyes. “It was perfect. I knew you felt it, too.”
I have no clue what she’s talking about, until a flash of a memory strikes me.
She’d been blonde. Her and her friend. I’d drank too much that night, which had probably been part of the reason the fucking condom broke. She’d ran out of the hotel room before I could get her name.
E
ven now, I barely recognize her. She’s skinnier than she’d been then, and unlike that night, she wore no make-up, making her features seem drawn out and pale.
“I remember,” I say, seeing Makena frown in the background. “Ye changed yer hair.”
“I saw you with that redhead. Rose. I thought you’d like it.”
Jeezus, Mary and Joseph, how long had the woman been stalking me?
“In yer letters, ye said ye were pregnant. But that’s not yer baby, is it?”
“He is,” she says desperately, taking a step back. “He’s ours. I was pregnant. I was…”
“I believe ye.”
“I wanted this so much.” Her words sound frantic.
“Okay.” Slowly, I place the coffees and the ridiculous stuffed animal down beside me, then ease my way up, careful not to spook her. “Can I see him?”
“I…don’t…”
“Can I see my son?”
She bites her bottom lip and frowns, pulling Axel tighter against her chest. The baby lets out a tiny, pathetic little wail. “I don’t know.”
“He sounds like he’s hungry.” I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing. I just know I need to get the kid away from her.
“He should be ours,” she mutters incoherently. “We would have been happy.”
“Emily, let me see him.”
“You promise we can be a family? That we can go home?”
“Home?”
“Our apartment. I’ve been waiting for you. Every night, I slept in our bed. Waiting. But you never came home. And then…” Her eyes dart around and she shifts nervously from one foot to the other, glancing back at Makena. She points at her, clutching the baby in her other arm. “Then, I saw you with her.”
It takes me a second to register that the glint of metal in her hand is a gun.
Fuck.
“Emily, put the gun down. Whatever ye want, I’ll give it to ye.”
“You’re lying. You love her. I see it.” She points the gun at me, then back at Makena. “We’ll never be a real family until she’s gone.”
“She won’t be a problem.” I take another step toward her.
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