by Vivian Arend
He was busy as well as he continued to train and work long hours at the ranch. Through it all, he kept trying new activities to see if he could trigger a panic attack.
Which is how they ended up back at the base of Heart Falls. Ivy shook her head in disbelief. “I can’t believe you’re going to do this again.”
“Well, it set one off before.” He glanced at the top of the falls far above them, water spraying in a glorious arc to create a million rainbows as the sun hit the mist. “If I don’t freeze, then I’ll make it to the top. I’ve always wanted to do that.”
The only concession he’d made was to tie a rope—a very long rope—around his waist. She’d insisted. “Last time you were lucky. You fell backwards into the water, instead of sliding down the rock wall and breaking your pretty face.”
“Because it was so much better to nearly drown.”
She gave him a dirty look, and he snapped his mouth shut and stopped joking. That’s when he’d agreed to the rope.
“Promise you’ll only use it if I get stuck,” he said. “Plus you can use it to pull me to shore so you don’t have to get wet.”
“What else do you think I would use it for?” Ivy demanded.
A grin escaped. “I don’t know. I’m sure you’d never get it into your head to pull me off the wall just for the fun of it.”
Ivy shook her head in exasperation. “Go do your stupid man tricks. I’ll wait here for you to come to your senses.”
She had to stand and watch, feeding out rope as he crossed beyond the falls and made his way up the rocky ridge. It was nerve-racking and painful, but he climbed steadily, glancing over and waving at her a couple of times.
When he made it all the way to the top of the ridge and stood with both hands in the air in victory, she felt proud to have been there to witness it.
He undid the rope from around his waist and disappeared from sight, and that’s when Ivy realized he hadn’t told her how he was getting down—
A loud shout rang in the air as he threw himself off the top of the ridge, flying into the air before dropping like a bomb into the center of Heart Falls pool.
A spectacular splash rose, water spraying far enough to strike her as she stood at the very edge of the water.
Walker popped up from beneath the surface. He flung his head from side to side, and water flew from his hair. Ivy didn’t know if she should shout obscenities at him or scream with joy.
He stood once the water was hip deep, dripping wet and grinning from ear to ear. “That was invigorating.”
“Walker Stone, did you lose your mind sometime in the last five minutes?”
He came in close. Close enough water dripped from him, splattering her. “Maybe. Want to take me home and give me hell?”
She stepped against him willingly, not caring one bit she was instantly drenched all along her front. “You’re lucky the answer is yes.”
It was all too easy for the answer to be yes when it came to spending time with Walker.
He still seemed distracted. Sitting quietly beside her at the fire pit they’d set up in her backyard. Or early in the morning when she’d open her eyes to find his arms wrapped around her but him staring at the ceiling, deep in thought.
Walker didn’t seem to be having panic attacks anymore, which was a good thing. He insisted he could go back on the rodeo circuit without her having to worry about him.
It also meant he could go away and be part of the big adventure being offered by Maxwell. That option she didn’t like nearly as well.
Walker gone part-time, she could deal with. Him being gone for a length of time with no definitive stopping point was less possible to bear. It made her think back to the days she’d spent lying in the hospital bed, fighting for strength as her body worked ever so slowly to rebuild her defenses.
Not knowing the future was one of her hot buttons.
Still, she carried on with her different activities, including working with Emma, who was now a fast friend.
Tamara grinned as Ivy walked into the house for the final tutoring session of the summer. “Good to see you. And I’ll ask you now so you have time to rearrange things if needed, but we’d like you to stay for supper.”
Sasha waved from the table where she was working on some project that involved multiple glue sticks and pieces of coloured paper. Emma rushed to Ivy’s side. “I got to pick what we’re having.”
“Oh, really. And what is that?”
“Chicken and beans and beans and beans.”
Ivy glanced at Tamara who nodded. “It sounds delicious, but you have to tell me what that means. Other than lots of beans.”
Sasha spoke without looking up from her task. “Kelli says people should accept an invitation before they find out what you’re serving, otherwise it seems—”
“Sasha. The timing of your Kelli-isms leaves something to be desired.” Tamara gave her oldest daughter a pointed look. “Would you like to reword that?”
Sasha blinked. Then her eyes widened and her mouth dropped open. “Ms. Fields, I didn’t mean that you were waiting to find out what we’re having for supper before you said yes or no. I just kind of…” She glanced at Tamara, who was waiting patiently, a kind smile on her face. Sasha nodded then focused back on Ivy. “I’m sorry. I spoke before thinking. Would you like to join us for supper? I promise that it will be delicious.”
They were so delightful. “I would love to stay, and now, Emma, you have to tell me what we’re having.”
She knelt down so she was eye to eye with the little girl, who raised her fingers to announce very seriously. “Roast chicken and green beans and baked beans and jelly-bean cake for dessert.”
Emma shoved her hand into Ivy’s and led her to the table where they were going to work. Ivy looked back to see Tamara smiling in approval as she bent down and gave Sasha a kiss on the cheek, pausing as the little girl wrapped her arms around her and kissed her back.
It was a little bit of perfection, and something ached inside Ivy, literally ached, as if there were a hole desperate to be filled.
She ended up helping the girls set the table for eight, chatting with Tamara, who seemed easily distracted while staring out the window with a soft smile on her face. Her lips widened to a full grin, and Ivy slipped up to peer over her shoulder to discover Caleb and Walker side by side, chatting easily as they approached the house.
“Just looking at him does something to me,” Tamara confessed softly, glancing over her shoulder at Ivy. “Mine, not yours.”
It was another confirmation that everyone thought Walker was hers. And he was, yet as the end of summer arrived, there was still that tiny piece of unknown.
She wanted him. She wanted the best for him. And once again Ivy realized exactly how much Walker had sacrificed to let her go off to find her dream.
She wiped at her eyes carefully, hiding her emotions as she stepped back to allow Tamara to greet Caleb first, two little girls dancing around him and squeezing him tight before backing up with wrinkled noses.
“Daddy. You need a shower,” Emma informed him before turning her big blue eyes on her uncle. She took a delicate sniff. “I’ll go get you a towel, Uncle Walker.”
Walker chuckled as he leaned down to bump noses with her. “You’re very sweet to tell me so politely that I’m stinky.”
Emma lowered her voice, but her whisper was still clear across the entire room. “Mama says it’s important to be polite and it’s important to be truthful.”
Caleb had removed his boots and was now chuckling in the background. “Yes, your mama is right. Now, we’ll go have our showers and then we can come back to enjoy supper. We have a special surprise for you, later.”
The girls squealed as they ran to finish their chores.
Walker gave Ivy a steamy look full of promises then disappeared into the basement.
Tamara turned back to her. “Walker reminded me you sometimes have problems with big groups. If you need to leave the room, go ahead, we won’t be of
fended. Tonight there’ll be me, Caleb and the girls, you and Walker, and I asked Dustin and Luke to join us.”
“That’s sweet of you to be concerned. I take it we’re having a typical Stone dinner?”
Tamara grinned. “Yes, which means I can’t guarantee the volume will stay below ear splitting.”
“I think I’ll be okay, but if you don’t mind, I’d like to sit between Emma and Walker.” She’d gotten past the point of feeling it was rude to ask for what made her the most comfortable.
Which was how she ended up joining the family at the table. Sasha chatted excitedly at her and at her uncle Dustin, who was across the table. Emma joined in occasionally, her comments bringing a smile to everyone’s face.
Walker stuck his hand under the table and rested it on her thigh, squeezing as he leaned in. “I didn’t get a kiss when I came in.”
He hadn’t spoken softly enough, because Emma turned to answer him. “You were stinky, remember, Uncle Walker?”
Ivy lowered her eyes to her plate and fought to keep from laughing.
“I was stinky, but I’m not anymore.”’ He placed an arm along the back of Ivy’s chair and curled up against her as he leaned in to talk to his niece.
Emma glanced at him then at Ivy, and then she shrugged her shoulders. “You should give her a kiss. Papa kisses Mama all the time.”
Laughter trickled around the room as everyone else paid attention to the conversation. Ivy felt herself tensing up, but instead of pushing his point and kissing her, Walker gave her shoulders a squeeze then slipped back into his chair.
He glanced across the table to where Caleb and Tamara were exchanging loving glances. “I’ve noticed that. It seems there’s an awful lot of kissing going on. More kissing than serving up supper.”
Ivy relaxed as attention swung away from her and Walker.
Dustin snickered. “You forget something, bro?” He pointed at Caleb’s empty hands. “Are you scooping up with your fingers today?”
Caleb shook his head. “We wanted to share a bit of news with you, and I figured telling you before we give you food means we’ll have your full attention.”
Something on their faces made Ivy suspect what they were about to announce. Tamara had a secret smile as she glanced at Caleb then nodded.
Caleb looked directly at Sasha and Emma. “Your mom and I are going to have a new baby brother or sister for you next year.”
Emma blinked hard.
Sasha tilted her head as if trying to put this announcement into perspective. “I get to be a big sister again?”
Emma elbowed her in the side. “I get to be a big sister for the first time.”
Sasha turned to her. “I can show you what you need to know, because it’s a lot of hard work.”
Masculine laughter was kept to a minimum, but everyone abandoned their chairs to give Tamara a hug and pound Caleb on the back.
The expectant father was grinning unashamedly. Ivy offered Tamara a tight hug, somewhat surprised she’d been included in the announcement but honoured as well. “I’m very happy for you,” she said softly.
Tamara nodded. “I’m happy and scared at the same time. There is nothing worse than someone with a medical degree getting pregnant.”
Ivy reassured her everything would be fine, then they grabbed the food and put it on the table and the real meal started. Caleb filled plates and passed them around like in the old days when Ivy would visit the Stone family.
And just like in the old days as she sat next to Walker, his hand stole under the table to find her fingers, holding tightly. It was perfect, and it was sweet, and it made something inside her sad in the midst of her happiness.
She couldn’t give this up. She wanted Walker. She wanted to be a part of this family, but the last thing she wanted was to be an anchor, holding him back.
At the end of the meal that was full of all kinds of memories, Luke and Dustin took control of their nieces and dealt with cleanup. Caleb and Tamara slipped out of the house to go for a walk around Big Sky Lake.
Walker stood next to her on the porch as they watched his brother and sister-in-law sneak away hand-in-hand, no doubt whispering together about their future.
He turned her toward him. “I’ll take my hello kiss now, but it’s got to be goodbye as well. I have chores.”
“I’ll see you tomorrow?” she asked.
“After you’re done with work? Definitely. We can finish fixing your stairs.”
He kissed her, sweet and lovingly, and somehow she kept her emotions from bursting free.
He headed toward the barns, and she took a slow drive down the long road to the highway, leaving Silver Stone in her rearview mirror.
She didn’t go home.
She drove to Buns and Roses and used her key to sneak up the back stairs to her sisters’ apartment.
Rose was there, glancing up from the knitting project she was working on, quiet music playing in the background. “Ivy? What’s wrong?”
Ivy shook her head, unable to speak. She joined Rose on the couch and leaned against her, accepting a strong hug as her sister folded her in her arms.
They sat there quietly for a while before Rose pressed a kiss to the top of Ivy’s head. “Do I need to go hit somebody for you? And by somebody, I mean Walker?”
An inelegant snort escaped Ivy, somewhere between laughter and tears. “It’s not him. It’s me. I love him so much, Rose. But that means I have to let him go.”
Arms tightened around her in a comforting grip. “Oh, honey. The way that man looks at you, I doubt very much he’s going anywhere.”
“He might have to, and I have to be okay with it. I never realized how hard it is to be the person left behind. It’s going to require more strength than it ever took to leave.”
Another squeeze, another kiss. “Well, no matter what happens, I know you’re strong enough to handle it. And you’ve got all of us to help hold you up when you feel wobbly.”
Ivy nodded. That much she knew to the depths of her soul. “I love you, little sis.”
“I love you too. Now, let me hold you. It’s going to be okay. It really is.”
20
Walker had to give Maxwell a decision sometime in the next twenty-four hours, and it still felt as if he needed more time.
He’d spent the last couple of hours sweating it out in the arena, but even being worked over until his spine felt as if it’d been driven up into his skull, his brain ached more than his body.
Ashton slapped him on the shoulder as a well-done before heading off to deal with the hands. Luke worked beside Walker to brush down the horses they’d used as backup, the curry brush creating a soft melody, repetitious and soothing.
Caleb had joined them, grinning good-naturedly at the teasing he’d been getting from everyone concerning the baby on the way. Dustin had been there as well, working hard until he started peeking obsessively at his watch. He checked in with Caleb to make sure it was okay to leave early then rushed off to join his friends.
Caleb caught Walker watching the interaction, and grinned. “Dustin is killing me. He’s nearly lost his mind over the idea that Tamara’s having a baby. It’s ridiculously sweet.”
Which made sense considering Caleb’s first wife hadn’t been too pleased with the idea of being pregnant, or being married, come to think of it. “He’s behaving himself?”
Caleb made a rude noise. “He’s always behaved himself. It was me who had a stick up my ass. We’re good.”
The three of them finished their work, chatting quietly. They were ready to head in different directions when Luke cleared his throat.
“Got something to tell you.”
Walker and Caleb exchanged glances before moving into position on either side of him.
Luke’s usual happy-go-lucky nature had been a lot more reserved the entire summer. They both figured it had something to do with Penny, but every time they’d asked, Luke had put them off.
Until now. He took a deep breath and looked up
at Caleb. “You told me once I should think long and hard about what I was doing.”
“With Penny?”
Luke nodded. “I really thought it could work out, but after seeing how things are between you and Tamara, and then you…” He turned his attention on Walker. “With you and Ivy getting back together—I see what it looks like when people belong together.”
That’s what it felt like. That he and Ivy belonged together.
Luke straightened his shoulders, staring into the arena. “That’s not what I see when I look in the mirror. I don’t see myself madly in love with Penny, and I don’t think that’s acceptable anymore. I thought it would be enough, but it isn’t.”
Caleb looked thoughtful. “What are you going to do?”
“I called it off. That’s where I went yesterday. I didn’t want to do it in an email or text, so I went over to her place.”
“How’d she take it?” Walker asked quietly.
A bitter laugh escaped Luke. “She was fine. Barely even blinked, to tell the truth, and then she asked if she could still have Red-Hot Whiskey’s foal when it arrives in the spring. Insisted she’ll pay full price, no problem.”
A soft curse escaped before Walker could stop it. The focus now wasn’t on Penny being a rotten human being, it was about Luke. “You okay?”
Luke shrugged. “In some ways it doesn’t feel as if anything has changed. We didn’t have the same kind of relationship you and Ivy already share. As if you can’t get enough of each other and can hardly bear to be apart.” Luke jerked a thumb toward Caleb, a momentary flash of his usual smirk reappearing. “Which seems to be a lot like this one and Tamara.”
Caleb stepped forward and grasped Luke’s shoulder, squeezing tightly. “I think you deserve someone who wants to be with you all the time. Someone who is stupid in love with you.”
“Yeah, well, that’s not what I had, so it’s good that it’s over.” Luke frowned again. “But even though Penny isn’t pissed at me, I can’t guarantee what Mr. Talisman is going to be like to deal with in the future. It’s entirely possible I just jettisoned our hopes of getting ahead as horse breeders.”