Rock Hard: BAD Alpha Dads

by Abbie Zanders

  “She’s a smart kid with a good head on her shoulders,” Johnny said. “She’ll be okay, especially with the two of us looking out for her. We’ve got her back.”

  Hell yes, they did. But that didn’t stop Alice from feeling pretty lousy when the driver pulled away.

  His hand covered hers. “I’ve got your back, too, you know.”

  Against her will, moisture started pooling in her eyes again. “I know you do.” She was so lucky to have him. Not many people would do what he did for her and Carly. He had not only accompanied her to NYC but had also made sure their time together had been fun and memorable, and then he had chartered a private jet and a limo to bring Carly back to Rex.

  He pulled her against him and kissed her forehead. “That’s what family does. Now, tell me what happened in there.”

  Alice sighed and proceeded to relay the exchange. She left nothing out, except for admitting how close she’d actually come to agreeing to Rex’s terms. Johnny, however, wasn’t easily fooled.

  “You’re considering it, aren’t you?”

  “I told him I couldn’t.”

  “But you want to.”

  Did she want to be there for Carly? Of course she did. Did she want to go back to being Rex’s window woman? The one who kept the storms outside at bay, but who Rex looked right through as if she wasn’t even there? No. She had been there, done that, and had secured the rights to the T-shirts.

  Deep in her heart, she loved Rex. It wasn’t a conscious choice. The heart wanted what it wanted, and against all logic, hers wanted him.

  Or, more accurately, she thought sadly, her fantastical version of him. The Rex she had caught rare, fleeting glimpses of from time to time. Like when he would sing her something new he’d been working on. He would look at her with those golden eyes; his deep, masculine voice would wrap around her and sink down into her soul. For those few moments, she would feel certain that he had written the words for her and her alone.

  Or those times when her body would suddenly heat and hum for no apparent reason, and she would turn around to find him watching her before he looked away.

  Those few, far between moments were what fueled her foolish fantasies. Fantasies where Rex came only to her bed. Where she, Rex, and Carly were a real family. Where Rex put the two of them first – ahead of himself, ahead of his shows, ahead of his fans.

  Pipe dreams, all of them.

  As this last encounter had proven, Rex hadn’t changed at all, and chances were, he wasn’t going to. He still cared only for himself. And while Alice would gladly go to Hell and back for him, she refused to live in Hell because of him.

  Carly’s resigned expression flashed in her mind, and again, her conscience pinged with guilt. It wasn’t Carly’s fault her father was a narcissistic egomaniac. The girl, like her, deserved better.

  Despite less than ideal circumstances, the young half-lioness was remarkably mature and aware for her age. Instead of being a spoiled brat, she had forged an inner strength and a commendable set of ethics, using her situation to determine what she didn’t want.

  Alice liked to think she had some small part in that, by being there for her and providing a female role model other than the sycophants and sex-starved groupies.

  What kind of message would she be sending to Carly if she went back to Rex now? That it was okay to be a doormat?

  No, she wasn’t going to do that. It would be counterproductive and send a mixed message. Instead, Alice was going to lead by example. She was going to walk the walk, even if that walk took her physically away from where she wanted to be. She could still be there for Carly every step of the way while demonstrating that it was better to get a hand up to climb out of a bad situation than to step on someone else’s back to do it.

  “No,” she answered softly but firmly. “I don’t want to go back to the way things were.”

  When they returned to Johnny’s place in LA, life went back to business as usual. Alice spoke with Carly daily over the next several weeks, which helped to ease her worry somewhat. Alice stayed busy, making and confirming arrangements for Johnny’s upcoming tour while he was busy in the studio.

  All too soon, their hiatus was over, and it was time to get back on the road. The days became a whirlwind of traveling and performing and taking off again. Touring with Johnny wasn’t nearly as stressful as touring with Rex, but it still took a toll.

  Alice was looking forward to a brief respite in Chicago. They had a few days between concerts, and Alice planned on surprising Carly with a visit. Rex was scheduled to play two shows there, so it seemed like the perfect time.

  The truth was, Alice was worried about Carly. They had kept in touch through video chats, texts, and calls each day as promised, but lately, Carly seemed increasingly distant and distracted. She insisted that everything was okay when asked, but Alice wasn’t buying it.

  Alice left Johnny in the posh hotel room, thinking that Carly might be more willing to talk to her if she came alone. They could all meet up later after Alice and Carly had some much-needed girl time. Except, when she got to the hotel where Rex’s band was staying, Carly wasn’t there.

  Chapter Eleven

  “Great performance!” Valerie gushed as Rex walked backstage.

  He glared at her, narrowing his eyes until some of her phony smile faded.

  The show had been anything but great. He had missed his cues and fucked up the licks in at least two songs. The crowd had felt it, too.

  Live concerts were a symbiotic thing. He gave to his fans through his voice and his music. They intensified the vibe and sent it back in their screams, their voices, their energy. Their adoration was his crack. He craved it just as a junkie craved his next fix, but tonight’s hit had been subpar at best. His heart hadn’t been in it, and they had picked up on that.

  Rex continued past Valerie, growling a warning when she tried to stop him by digging her claws into his arm.

  “What about the encore?”

  Encore? Was she kidding? Even the requisite chants from the sold-out crowd were weak, about as heartfelt as his lackluster performance.

  “No encore tonight.”

  “But—”

  “No. Encore.”

  Her thin, penciled-in brows knitted together before smoothing out again. She released his arm and petted his skin. He shrunk away from her touch, earning himself another scowl.

  “Right. It’s good to leave them wanting once in a while,” she said, the familiar words striking a painful chord. “Come backstage. I’ve invited some new friends to the party. They’ll help you relax.”

  Rex grunted and let Valerie lead him toward the backstage party. Even here, the vibe had changed from what it once was. No longer was it a good time, upbeat, post-show atmosphere. It was harder. Edgier. Colder. Greedier.

  He looked around at the empty eyes and bared skin and felt disgust welling up inside him. Whether it was for himself or them, he didn’t know. Either way, he wanted no part of it.

  He turned and slipped out the back door. The fact that no security guards went with him was just another reminder of how bad things had gotten. Alice would never have allowed half those people backstage, especially the young fans who weren’t any older than Carly, despite their tats and piercings and makeup. Alice would have made sure the hardcore shit stayed where it belonged—away from him and his guys. And she would have ensured that security did their fucking jobs.

  More importantly, shit nights like this one wouldn’t have happened, because he would still have the music in his soul.

  He waited for the anger to rise again, just as it did every time he thought about Alice walking away and taking the music with her. He would welcome the enmity like a familiar friend, glad for the way it filled the void.

  But the rage didn’t come. The void stayed empty. The music remained silent.

  For the first time in his life, he didn’t know what to do. Those things he had come to count on weren’t there anymore. Alice. The music. The high he got from pe
rforming.

  By the time he reached the penthouse suite, his mood had turned even darker. Either his mind was playing tricks on him, or the universe was conspiring against him. He could even swear he smelled Alice’s distinctive feminine fragrance in the elevator.

  This shit had to stop. He had to get over this obsession with Alice and pull himself together. He didn’t need her. He didn’t need anyone. He was Rex Fucking Løve, goddammit.

  Then he walked into the living room and saw her. Alice. Were his eyes in on the mindfuck now, too?

  He paused in the doorway, certain he was seeing things. Alice had no reason to be in his suite ... unless, of course, she had finally come to her senses and realized exactly where she belonged.

  He was afraid to move, afraid if he did, she would disappear.

  Her head was down, her fingers tapping on the small device she held in her hands.

  Rex knew the moment she sensed his presence. She stilled then snapped her eyes up to his.

  “Rex! What are you doing here?”

  A talking mirage? Or the real deal? Given the way her body tensed as if ready to flee, she was really there and not a product of his imagination. If it were one of his dreams, she would be ripping her clothes off and running into his arms.

  “I was about to ask you the same thing. Last time I checked, this was my suite.”

  She squared her shoulders and straightened to her full, diminutive height. “I’m looking for Carly.”

  He frowned. Then he noticed Alice’s usually radiant skin was pale, her beautiful eyes creased with worry. “Why?”

  “Because I came to see her, and she’s not here,” Alice snapped.

  He narrowed his eyes, remembering the last time she had come around. Alice had wanted to take Carly away from him, and he’d shot that idea down in flames. Besides being his cub, Carly was the only solid, tangible connection he had to Alice.

  “Why, Alice?” he asked softly, dangerously. “Trying to take her away from me again?”

  “Yes! I mean, no, not permanently. Just for a couple hours. Sometimes when you have a show, I come for Carly and we spend time together. Except this time, she’s not here!”

  Rex was floored by that knowledge.

  “You’ve been coming to see Carly?”

  “Yes,” she said, waving her hands in the air as if losing her patience. “We go shopping, have dinner. Where is she? Did that slutty she-cat of yours convince you to send her off to boarding school?”

  “No, of course not.” He stalked over to Carly’s room and pounded on the door. “Open up, young lady.”

  His demands were met with silence.

  Alice huffed. God, how he had missed that sound.

  “She’s not in there.”

  He put his hand on the knob, finding it unlocked. The room was empty.

  “I already checked in here,” Alice said irritably, appearing behind him. “No clothes, no hairbrush, no anything. It’s like she was never here. She was with you when you checked in, wasn’t she, Rex?”

  “Of course she was.” He stilled, quietly appreciating the light scent that wrapped around him. Notes tickled the edge of his mind, dancing just out of reach. He closed his eyes, willing them to come.

  “Are you certain? Did you actually see her? Rex, are you even listening?”

  Rex’s eyes snapped open again at the edge of panic in Alice’s voice.

  Alice never panicked. Got riled, sure, but this was different. This wasn’t anger. She was genuinely scared.

  He fought the sudden, nearly overwhelming urge to fold her into his arms and ease her fears. She wouldn’t welcome it, for one thing. For another, if he did get her in his arms, he might not let go.

  Instead, he thought back to their arrival the night before. He had been half out of it, letting Valerie lead him where he needed to go, assuming she had things under control. He couldn’t remember seeing Carly, but that wasn’t unusual. Carly and Valerie didn’t exactly get along and avoided each other whenever possible. He said as much to Alice.

  Alice’s features were set in disapproval, but she nodded as if that wasn’t news. “Okay, before that then. When was the last time you saw Carly?”

  He thought about it, working backward in his mind from their arrival. He didn’t remember seeing her coming in, but that wasn’t unusual, either. They traveled on different tour buses, and by the time he made it up to the room, she was usually already settled in.

  Before that, well, that last leg of the trip was a little blurry.

  “Dallas,” he said finally, remembering that Carly and Valerie had gotten into a shouting match over something or another.

  “Dallas!” Alice exclaimed. “That was two days ago!”

  Her disappointment pierced his chest like a well-thrown blade. He rubbed his left pec absently.

  He was about to respond when the door opened and Valerie came in, looking pissed. When her eyes landed on Alice, they went positively feral.

  “What the fuck are you doing here?”

  Alice stiffened. “Back off, Tigger. The grown-ups are talking.”

  For as long as he lived, Rex didn’t think he would ever forget what happened next.

  Valerie hissed and shifted, lunging at Alice. Before he could intervene, though, Alice turned into a beautiful tawny lioness and took Valerie out with a spectacular lunge and well-aimed swipe of her paw. Then Alice stood on Valerie’s chest and roared in her face.

  Holy fuck! Alice, his competent, conservative human had shifted.

  Valerie whined and moved her head in a submissive gesture, exposing her neck. Had she wanted to, Alice could have ripped her throat out right there and then. Instead, she huffed, stepping off the tiger with a heavy push of her paw. Then, ignoring Rex, she went over to Rex’s bed, grabbed the shirt that was lying there with her teeth, and disappeared into the bathroom.

  When she came out again, she was wearing his shirt and looking fierce as fuck. Her beautiful hair was wild and untamed. Her lush curves filled out his shirt better than a centerfold model. The hem of the simple cotton tee hung halfway to her knees, revealing toned, smooth skin his mouth watered to taste.

  She glared hard and growled a warning at Valerie, who had been slinking over toward Rex but now turned and went the other way.

  He stared at her as if she was a different person, because fuck it all, she was. Not a human female like he had believed all these years, but a beautiful, fierce lioness. A shifter, like him. A potential mate.

  “You’re a lioness.”

  She turned her glower on him, her golden-brown eyes still more feline than human. “Obviously. Now, about Carly—”

  “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  She huffed, putting both hands in the air. “Does it matter?”

  Anger and frustration welled up inside him. “Yeah, it fucking matters.”

  “How? Nothing has changed, Rex. I am what I’ve always been. I can’t help it if you’ve had your head too far up your own ass to see what’s been right in front of you the whole time.”

  She was wrong. Everything had changed.

  He opened his mouth then shut it again. The music was there, a symphony of violins and electric guitars and bass. He closed his eyes and let it wash over him, through him, the truth appearing in small, jagged pieces coming together.

  It was all starting to make sense. His inexplicable attraction to Alice. Alice’s close connection with Carly.

  When he opened his eyes again, Alice was gone.

  Rex ran out into the foyer and saw the elevator doors closing. “Fuck!” he yelled, then ran for the stairwell. He flew down the steps, emerging in the hotel lobby just as the penthouse elevator dinged. He started for it but was blindsided by a mob of screaming fans clawing at him, crying, begging for his autograph.

  As he looked over their heads, he saw a flash of white slipping out into the night.

  Rex used his bulk to move forward, but it was nearly impossible to make progress without crushing the humans who blocked hi
s way.

  By the time he made it to the door, she was gone.

  Chapter Twelve

  Alice’s heart was pounding a mile a minute as she ran out into the street and flagged down a cab. Dressed as she was in only Rex’s shirt, she received a few curious glances, but not many. Apparently, Rex had appeared behind her and all attention focused on him instead. Fan mobs could be a problem, but at that moment, she was grateful for one.

  Onlookers and lurkers surged past her and created an instant mob, giving her the time she needed to get away. Scrambling into the back of the cab, she rattled off the address for her hotel and sat back as the vehicle pulled away. She held her belongings on her lap. There was no way to get dressed now, but at least she had her phone and purse.

  What the hell had she been thinking, exposing her secret and shifting in front of Rex like that?

  Clearly, she hadn’t been thinking. She had been too distracted by both worry for Carly and Rex’s sudden, unexpected appearance to think logically. Then the tigress with the crazy eyes had shown up and went all furry, intent on doing damage. Sensing an imminent threat, her lioness had simply taken control and put that bitch down hard.

  She half-laughed, half-sobbed, seeing Rex’s reaction replay in her mind. Surprise, shock, confusion, then anger as the truth finally sank in. Of all the times she’d pictured revealing herself to him, it hadn’t gone down quite like that.

  Nobody had been more surprised than little Miss Stripes, though. Thinking she was all badass, trying to stake a claim on Rex, as if he were her mate. That was ridiculous. Everyone in that room had known that wasn’t true.

  Only Alice knew who Rex’s true mate was, and she sure wasn’t going to say anything.

  Alice had recognized the tigress as the same woman who had been with Rex on his tour bus when she and Johnny had taken Carly back weeks earlier. The memory still hurt. No matter how many times she witnessed the same scene, no matter how many times she told herself it didn’t matter, it did.