“They’re scared,” I said to myself.
“Shouldn’t we be, faery-girl?” The merrow focused on me.
“Keep walking, Kylie.”
I couldn’t tear my attention away. They outnumbered me. Why would I be a threat?
“My fellow merrows and I consider this area home, and when we last met I should have been more hospitable. I have seen the error of my ways. We extend safe passage over our bridge, now and always.”
“Thank you?” I answered, totally bewildered.
“It is our pleasure. We wish you no ill-will and hope you will grant us the same.”
“I’m not going to hurt you.”
Grant urged me along, discouraging the conversation.
“Thank you. Safe travels, faery-girl.” She dove in the water, and then they were gone.
Grant pushed me onward not giving me a chance to mull over what had happened.
Once we were a safe distance into the forest, he said, “You should never get into a conversation with a merrow.”
“They were scared. Of me.”
“They can twist conversations to suit themselves.”
Conor, who’d been walking ahead of us but in earshot, looked over his shoulder. “What did you do to her?” He’d kept his tone light.
“I stopped her. I didn’t mean to hurt her.” He glanced back again, nodded then turned forward. “Really I didn’t,” I whispered as guilt settled over me. I didn’t want people to fear me. What had I become?
Grant smiled and squeezed my hand. “We know you didn’t.”
Problem was, I wasn’t so convinced of my innocence.
* * * *
The mood had shifted. Between the conversation with the merrow and the nearness of the castle, defeat had consumed me. The sun dipped on the horizon and I welcomed the darkness. It matched my mood.
We were almost to the edge of the forest, and every ounce of my being wanted to turn and run, never letting go of Grant’s hand. Together forever. But I wouldn’t. We had tried once before and we all knew how well that turned out. Grant and I wouldn’t be free until I convinced Alastar he didn’t want me around, which was what I’d do.
If I convinced him I wasn’t the girl from the oracle, or at least not a threat nor a benefit to him, maybe he’d release me from my obligation. Of course, this wouldn’t be quite that easy, but I had to have hope. I couldn’t face going back without something to work toward, like a future with Grant.
Conor stopped near the tree line. Past where he stood was nothing but an open expanse leading to the castle’s perimeter. “We need to wait until nightfall before we go back. We have a little time.” He and Lexie walked away over the leaf and stick cluttered forest floor, giving Grant and me time alone.
Tall trees canopied us as he pressed me against him. There were no words. What could we say at a time like this? See you soon sounded too casual, while goodbye sounded too final.
“Hey, you’re going to be okay.”
“No. I’m not.”
His chest shook against me as he chuckled. “Yes, you will. I’ve never met anyone like you. You’re the strongest person I know. Not a day goes by you don’t cease to amaze me. You’ll be fine.” His voice softened. “You have to be.”
His eyes glistened. Stoic Grant was falling apart? But he couldn’t. He was my rock. If he didn’t believe the words he said, how could I? He smiled but it looked forced.
“I’m not giving up on us and neither will you. That’s all we need. We’ll work out the rest.” The corner of his mouth quirked up. “Hey, I’m your soul mate, right?” he teased. “You can’t get rid of me that easily.”
I tucked my head into his chest. It would take the Jaws of Life to pry me off him at that moment. If I let go, I’d crumble into a million little pieces. He was the only thing holding me together.
“Say something,” he pleaded.
“Something,” I mumbled into his shirt.
He chuckled. “Really? That’s all I get.”
I pulled back. “I don’t know what to say. I’m trying to hold it together, but I feel like one little tug and I’ll completely unravel. The last day has been the best twenty-four hours of my life. Even with puka attacks, creepy mermaid-wannabes, oracles, I’d do it all over again as long as I could do it with you. I don’t want this magic, but if being with you is what gave me it, I can only assume it’s something good because nothing bad could ever come out of loving you. I know that, and hope you do too.”
He said in the tender tone reserved for me, “I know Kylie.”
I searched for any doubt in what I said but found none. “Good. Even though we’ll be apart, I’ll be thinking about you. Every morning and night. I may even try to squeeze in the fourteen hours in between. I survived being away from you, knowing you were locked away. I’m sure I can handle a little time without you, knowing you’re safe. So stay safe. I have to know you are or, well, I just need to know. Don’t stick around because of me. I’m going to get things squared away in there so you’d better be alive when I get out.” I gave him a stern look.
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Okay then. Now that we have that all cleared up, there’s one thing left to do.” I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him to me. If this would be our last kiss for a while, it had to be memorable. I laced my fingers behind his neck and pressed into him.
He pulled me closer. One hand cradled my head, the other my hip, as he stepped forward and backed me into the tree we stood under. He leaned into me and my heart raced against his chest. I inhaled in short gasps and decided breathing was overrated. If I died from being suffocated by these kisses, I’d go happy.
He broke the kiss and groaned. My hands slipped from around his neck and slid over his shoulders onto his chest. My breathing was as rapid as his.
“We should probably stop.” His words lacked conviction, or at least failed to convince me.
With reddened lips and messy hair, he looked gorgeous, but that’s not what drove me to continue. The pain did. A hole had been pricked in my heart, and with every beat, it grew wider.
I shook my head, refusing to let this moment go. Pushing my palms to his shoulders, I pulled him back to me, and he caved, perhaps not willing to sacrifice these last moments, or maybe he just didn’t want to see me cry…again.
The movement of his mouth matched mine as he slid his hand from my hip to my waist. He brushed his thumb over my midriff then his grip tightened. My lips felt as if they would bruise, but I didn’t care. I wanted to be branded by him. I wanted the lingering tenderness to serve as a reminder of this moment, to overshadow the ache his absence would create.
Grant jerked back, putting space between us. He yanked my back off the tree. His gaze darted to my feet. Dazed, I glanced down and discovered a patch of tall grasses filled with dandelions. My feet had disappeared into the overgrowth. He mumbled something, took my hand and tugged. I lurched forward, but he braced me and I righted myself. By the time Lexie and Conor came into view, we looked to be having a discussion. A very intense discussion.
Lexie leaned against Conor as if for support. “It’s time.”
Grant attempted to clear the hoarseness from his voice. “Okay, just give us a minute.” When they had walked out of earshot, he said, “You seriously shouldn’t do that to a guy.” He grinned but his tone held an undercurrent of seriousness.
“Sorry.” It was crappy to get him all worked up then leave.
“Me too.” His gaze swept over me. He took several long, deep breaths. “Okay. Let’s go.” He laced his fingers through mine and led me to where the others awaited.
“Ready?” Conor asked.
Grant turned to me and before he could say goodbye I cut him off. “Don’t. Don’t say it.”
He cupped my face, kissed my forehead then watched as the three of us took off across the open expanse, heading into the castle walls. Before going in, I glanced in his direction. The dimming sky stole my last glimpse. With a heavy heart, I let it cons
ume me as well.
Chapter 15
After we entered the castle grounds, Ida motioned to us from her hiding place between a large bush and the wall. When we reached her, she and Conor discussed something but my world was on mute. Lexie frowned. I didn’t attempt reassurance. I didn’t have it in me.
Ida and Conor led us through a maze of the garden’s alcoves, past the rose garden and down the path until we made it to the castle. Lexie and Conor hung back, giving Ida an opportunity to sneak me in first. If they were caught sneaking around, no one would care.
As instructed, I went through the motions, ducking into the shadows, trailing behind Ida, but I’d left the emotional part of me outside the castle walls. I welcomed the cold void. It comforted more than the pain bubbling beneath the surface.
Liam yanked me into my bedroom, hugged me tight then passed me off to Cara.
“Kylie?”
I blinked and stared at Cara, unsure of how long she’d been trying to get my attention.
“Are you okay? Did something happen?”
Ida’s voice was far away, as if a bubble surrounded me. “I don’t know what’s wrong with her. She came through like that. She’s catatonic or something. Who knows? I’m surprised she even returned.”
“Ida, that’s all we need for now,” Liam said. “Can you please excuse us? We’ll call you when she’s ready for bed.” Liam opened the door and ushered her out.
I needed the bed now, though. I wanted sleep and was unable to remember the last time I’d been this tired.
“Kylie?”
I looked up, surprised to find Lexie in the room. When had she gotten there?
“Kylie, you need to talk. Okay? I know you’re upset. I can’t even imagine the pain you’re feeling but you need to focus. You can’t solve any problems like this. You need to come back to us, okay?”
“I’m here.”
Cara stood in a corner. Her lips were pressed into thin line. She stepped forward and put a hand on each of my shoulders. “Kylie, this isn’t you. You’re always planning your next move. You don’t give up.”
“Maybe I should give you guys a moment alone,” Liam said.
His usually adorably flushed face was pale and sad. A twinge of emotion trickled through me. I’d left Liam and never looked back. I’d left Grant and refused to move forward. That had to hurt. He headed to the door.
“Liam? You don’t have to go. I’m okay. I need some sleep. I have a lot to tell you and I want to, but not tonight. Okay?” I attempted a smile and hoped he could at least see my sincerity.
He hesitated with his hand on the doorknob then slid his fingers off the handle. He walked to a chair and sagged into it.
“How did everything go while we were gone?” I asked.
Liam and Cara exchanged glances and I regretted my question.
“Just tell me.”
Liam said, “Well, it took almost the entire day for anyone to realize Grant was missing. The guards were a bit preoccupied but once they snapped out of the ambrosia-induced comas you put them into, all hell broke loose.” Liam rubbed the back of his neck. “My father wanted to see you. He suspects you had some involvement. I assured him you were in bed not feeling well. We bought some time, but I guarantee you, first thing in the morning his guards will be pounding on your door to take you to him. Also, Orin’s been acting suspicious, which helped turn the attention off you for the moment. And since none of the guards have any recollection of the night, no one knows where to look for answers. The next few days are going to be tense around here. The best thing to do is keep you visible so people don’t think you have reason to hide.”
“I can do that.”
“I can’t believe you pulled it off.” He smiled and shook his head.
“Liam, I don’t know if you’re mad I freed Grant, but I’m glad I did. Your father planned to execute him.”
“He wouldn’t do that. He said he wouldn’t,” he said quickly.
Since when did we believe a word that came out of his mouth? “Yeah, he did, but he only planned to keep him alive until we married. In fact, he referred to the execution as a ‘wedding present’ for the bride.”
Cara stared at me and Liam’s face blanched. He knew his father manipulated every situation but this act of cruelty had taken it too far. It would hurt me, but it would also upset Liam. He and Grant had been good friends, once upon a time.
Alastar had crossed the line this time, tarnishing his image forever. Though probably wrong, I got great satisfaction from my story accomplishing that. He deserved his son’s revulsion. “There’s more to tell, but I’m exhausted. Can we talk in the morning?”
Though Liam probably burned with curiosity, he respected my wishes. “Sure, get some rest. Do you want me to call for Ida?”
I waved it off. “I can get ready for bed myself. I don’t have the energy for her tonight.”
“She helped a lot in all this,” Cara offered. It didn’t work. Not tonight, at least. I didn’t care.
“I’m sure she did it for Liam. She hates me.”
Neither of them argued it further and they left me in solitude. My straitjacket of indifference fit well as long as it kept the pain away.
* * * *
The sheet tangled with my legs as I flipped from side to side. I adjusted the pillow, flipping it over time and time again to the cool side. I kicked off all the blankets, stared at the ceiling and counted from one-hundred to one. Sleep came eventually. A restless sleep which provided no comfort. I dreamt of Grant and being lost in the forest. Merrows, Alastar, even Orin haunted my slumber.
When I stumbled into the bathroom the next morning, my fitful night was evident. Tears, shed in sleep, had left my face puffy. Dark purple crescents stretched from my cheekbones to the bridge of my nose. To reduce some of the swelling, I splashed my face with cold water but it was a lost cause. Without bothering to brush my hair, I pulled it back and went to the wardrobe to find something to wear. Someone had brought my breakfast tray but the food had no appeal. I left my room to find Liam.
My mother stood in the hallway outside. She wrapped me in a hug.
“I’m glad you’re safe. I needed to see for myself.” She held me at arm’s length. “Are you okay?” She placed the back of her hand against my forehead.
“I’m fine. Just tired.”
She studied me. “Do you want to talk?”
I shook my head and a look of disappoint flashed across her face.
“Have you seen Liam? I need to speak with him.”
“I believe I saw him headed toward Lexie’s room.”
I thanked her and slogged down the hall.
After one knock, Lexie answered the door. I brushed past her and plopped into a chair. Liam leaned against a wall opposite to where Conor lounged.
“I hope you don’t mind but we told him about the oracle,” she said.
I waved dismissively, relieved not to have to talk to Liam about soul mates and love consummated. “What do you think about it?”
Liam shifted his weight and rubbed the back of his neck. “It’s not what I expected, that’s for sure. Um, it’s interesting, though. It seems to prove my father has ulterior motives.”
“Yeah. Any ideas on what to do now?”
He scratched his head. “I wish I did.”
“Don’t worry about it. I’ll figure something out. I need to convince him I’m neither an asset nor an enemy.”
Liam nodded, but didn’t look confident with my plan. “Has anyone summoned you to speak with him yet?”
“No, and I’m hoping to avoid that for a while. I’ll be sure people see me and confirm my presence here, but I need a little time before I take on your father.”
Liam frowned. Conor and Lexie wore similar expressions.
My terminology might not have been the best. I didn’t get it, though. I couldn’t take on the king. What were they worried about?
Desperate to change the subject, I looked at Lexie. “I could use some fresh air. Do you
guys mind if Lexie and I take a walk? I need to talk to her.”
Liam’s expression cleared. “No problem. It’s good, anyway. People will see you around.”
Lexie and I left the room and headed out to the garden. Once it became safe to talk, I sat on a bench in one of the distant alcoves. Lexie joined me, unnaturally quiet.
It had become clear people viewed me as a live wire with fragile emotions and powerful magic. I didn’t want to be that girl. I stared straight ahead and confessed everything to her. “Lex, I’m drowning and don’t know what to do. It’s impossible to think straight. Even when Alastar threw Grant into the dungeon, I didn’t feel this hopeless, powerless. I want to fix things and put a stop to Alastar, but how? I’m just a girl, an eighteen-year-old girl, who is madly in love with her boyfriend. Why can’t I just be her?”
“You’ve never been just a girl, Kylie. I think everyone knows that but you. Maybe it’s time you figure it out for yourself.” She offered a small smile. “Nobody expects you to be all rainbows and sunshine, but you can’t give up.”
“But it’s like I’ve been submerged in freezing cold water, fully-clothed. I’m trying to move but am weighted down and losing energy. My body’s numb and I can’t remember how to pull to the surface.”
“Well, thankfully, you have someone reaching out to help you. Lots of people. You’ve got us, and we won’t let you drown, but you have to try. We can’t do it alone. You have to fight for it but know we’ll be there to help.”
I leaned over and hugged my best friend, glad to have her with me. Though it still hurt, knowing she was there helped. A small crack formed in my protective shell, allowing other emotions to seep through. “I need to tell you something else, but swear to secrecy. In light of recent discoveries, it’s imperative no one else finds out. Not even Conor.”
“I promise.”
“If there’s any truth to this oracle, it’s already been set in motion.”
She stared at me, her expression blank, as she processed what I said. Her jaw dropped and her large brown eyes grew even bigger. “You and Grant?”
“Before we knew, of course.”
“That night in the forest?”
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