“Enlighten me.”
“I don’t want this. I don’t want to be the girl I’m destined to be. But you keep pushing, and instead of convincing me to join you, it takes me one step closer to fulfilling this prophecy. It’s not my intention to do so, but this won’t work.” I motioned between the two of us. “You don’t want me here anymore than I want to be here. Let me go. I will leave Tir na nOg, and be of no threat to you or anyone else. It’s the easiest solution. Just let me leave.”
“Destiny,” he scoffed. “What makes you so sure you’ll be the girl to fulfill this destiny? I own you, Kyla. You will not leave here.”
Rage engulfed me. One of the trees behind Alastar began to rumble. The terracotta pot vibrated against the marble floor. The branches grew larger, snaked closer to him. “I know who I am, and no one owns me.”
Alastar’s eyes grew wide as he stared at the tree. A hum filled the air as his magic sparked to life. He tried to counter my effort and take control of the tree, but I forced all my anger, sadness, fear, and grief into my powers and the tree doubled in size.
Pleasure buzzed through me. A euphoric feeling of power set my body on fire with life and energy, almost to the point of delirium.
The king’s attempts paled, compared to the driving force behind mine.
I gloated. I could obliterate him.
“Kylie,” Liam whispered.
I fought with the angry magic, knowing I should call it off but wanting to end it all. No more Alastar, no more problems.
“What do you plan to do? Kill me in my own chambers?” Alastar had spoken in a cocky tone but his voice had trembled.
Liam reached for my hand, gave it a soft squeeze.
I swallowed hard and begrudgingly reined in the magic. I sighed. “No, I don’t plan to kill you. Ever. As I told you, I don’t want this. Let me go and prevent this prophecy.”
“I’m done with these childish games. You’re dismissed.” He reclined in his chair and gestured toward the door.
I didn’t budge, but instead stared at him, wanting him to say those words. Tell me I was free to leave.
“I said go. Guards!” The doors flew open. “Escort my guests out.”
I spun on my heels and brushed past the guards as they tried to seize me. “Don’t touch me.”
I stormed out of the room, turning just before the door closed. The king was shaken. Something I’d never thought I’d see. Fear lined his face, aging him as he slumped in his chair and hung his head…in defeat?
* * * *
Liam slammed his bedroom door behind me.
Lexie jumped.
I cringed and turned to him.
Liam’s expression teetered between incredulous and angry. “What was that? Are you crazy? Do you seriously have a death wish?” he roared. “I went in there to stand up for you, not keep you from becoming exactly what we’re trying to argue you aren’t.”
I waved him off. Even I couldn’t explain what had gotten into me back there. In retrospect, the outburst embarrassed me and I regretted it.
“Not so fast.” Liam grabbed my arm and turned me around. “No matter how much I try to help you, it’s never going to matter. You don’t know when to stop.”
His fingers didn’t hurt, but his uncharacteristic behavior left me unsure of how to respond. I jerked my arm free, annoyed more at my actions than him. “What? What would you like me to say? Sorry? Okay, sorry, I shouldn’t let your asshole father get under my skin.”
He laughed dryly. “No, I don’t expect you to apologize about my asshole father. I expect you to take responsibility for your actions.” His voice rose. “Think about someone other than yourself for a change.”
My mouth dropped. That one stung. I balled my hands. “I do think about other people.”
“Well, maybe one day I’ll be one of them, but clearly I have yet to earn that privilege.”
Lexie stood next to us. “Wait, what’s going on? What happened in there?”
I stomped to the couch, plopped hard and crossed my arms.
“No way.” Lexie shook her head, looking between the two of us. “You’re not going to storm off in opposite directions and leave me hanging. What happened?”
“Oh, nothing.” He crossed his arms. “Well, besides the fact Kylie almost strangled my father with a tree branch.” He looked down at me and shook his head.
“Kylie! Are you crazy? You’re trying to prove you aren’t a murderer. That sure doesn’t seem like the best defense tactic.”
“I wouldn’t have killed him.” At least I hoped I wouldn’t. “I’m sick of this. All of it. He’s manipulative and ruining my life. He may control this entire court but I’m not one of his pawns. He won’t control me. I would rather be locked away or dead than see that happen.”
“Well, good,” Liam shouted, “because it seems that’s where you’re headed.” He spun on his heels, swiping his hand across a table. A glass flew off, crashed into the wall and split into a million fragments. He stormed off, slammed the adjoining room’s door with a bang and I winced.
I sat there, unable to believe what I’d witnessed.
Lexie’s mouth hung open as she stared, wide-eyed, at the closed door.
He’d never even been mad in front of anyone. Who knew he had it in him?
Guilt consumed me. I’d caused problems between him and his father, and I’d hurt him. “I guess I should talk to him.”
“Maybe he needs some time to cool down.” Lexie looked at the door then back to me. She moved closer. “Really, Kylie, what were you thinking in there? I didn’t travel into a magical realm to watch my best friend get herself killed. We care about you, all of us. We don’t want to see you get hurt.”
“I know, Lex, and I’m sorry. I’m not sure what got into me. It’s this magic. I feel like it’s more powerful than me sometimes, but still that’s no excuse. I will practice better self-control.” I approached the door Liam disappeared behind and knocked. Deciding he didn’t want to talk to me, I turned to Lexie and shrugged, but hesitated. This needed to be fixed. An apology was in order. I opened the door, stepped in and shut it behind me.
Liam’s back faced me. He stood with his fists resting on a table as he leaned his weight into them.
A chair lay knocked over near my feet. I righted it. “Liam, I’m sorry, for what it’s worth.” I wrapped my arms around myself. The magic was dangerous, alienating me. It scared people, which scared me.
His shoulders rose and fell but he never turned.
Getting the hint, I headed to the door.
“I’ve come to terms with the fact you don’t love me. But it’s much harder for me to turn off my emotions. I don’t want to see you killed. You’re going against a very powerful man, and me, I’m powerless. I can’t protect you. All I can do is plead with you to stop before it’s too late.”
I stared at his back then down at the floor. “You aren’t powerless.”
He laughed, but it held no humor. He straightened and shook his head. “Yeah. I am. I’m not the kind of person prophecies are written about. I don’t change history. I’m nothing, but you, you’re something great.” He took a few steps toward a window and stared out. “Don’t destroy your destiny by fighting against it. You’re so wrapped up in fate, in this game of tug of war you’re losing, pulling so hard, you don’t even realize for every inch gained, two more are lost. Your magic is a powerful thing, but if this anger consumes you, it’ll be dangerous. Forget the prophecy. If it happens, it happens, but right now, just be Kylie. The girl who cares about people and worries about others, not the person who threatens to bury men alive or strangle a king. This isn’t healthy. The wrong emotions are winning.”
Tears dripped down my face. He was right, and even I couldn’t argue. I’d scared the merrows, Orin and now Alastar, but worst of all, I scared my friends. “I’m lost, Liam.”
When he turned to face me, his eyes were reddened.
“You’re right. The more I resist, the more problems I create. This
magic inside of me is too strong. I wanted to learn how to use it, wield it to my advantage, but now it’s taken over and I can’t control it.”
“Yes, you can.”
“How can you say that? You saw what happened.”
“Because you didn’t kill him.” He looked at his hands then at me. “If given the opportunity, most people wouldn’t pull back. They’d let it consume them and finish him off, but you didn’t. You never have. You’re better than this.”
“Why can’t he let me go? I just want to get away from this. I don’t want this. Why can no one understand?”
“I get it. We all do. But, like you, my father is so wrapped up in preventing this prophecy, he’s pushing you one step closer. We can’t fight our fate, but you two are trying and all it’s doing is making it a reality a lot sooner than anyone anticipated.
“You know, when we were in that room all I could think about was if my father ordered you executed I wouldn’t be able to do a thing. I’d have no way to stop it. I actually wished Grant had been the one in the room with you right then. You may be reckless but you love him. You’d listen to him and he’d know how to stop you.” A small smile played at the corner of his mouth but the sadness never left his eyes. “But me, I didn’t know what to do or say. Please don’t make me watch you fall.”
“I listen to you. In fact, the reason I pulled back was the reminder of you standing by my side. You aren’t helpless. You have to see that. Plus, you stood up to your father today. That was a huge step.”
“But I only did it to protect you. I did it out of stupid misguided feelings, not real courage.”
“I don’t care what you say. That takes courage. Now, what I did was plain stupid.”
Liam crossed the short distance and pulled me into a hug. “I’m glad we agree on something.”
“Hey,” I said in a hurt tone, giving him a playful push.
He chuckled. “Stupid. Really stupid, but also the bravest thing I’ve ever seen. If I ever doubted you had the power to bring down kings, I don’t now. My father’s magic couldn’t hold a candle to yours. It makes no sense. He’s a powerful fae. You’re a young, half-faery with no magical upbringing. It just doesn’t make sense.”
“Nothing about my life ever seems to,” I scoffed. “Liam, what do I do now? I screwed up. Your father is going to have my head. We need a miracle.”
“I don’t believe this is your way to go. Fate will play its hand. This isn’t the end. We’ll have to wait and see what the future offers.”
“That’s what I fear the most.” I sighed. “I fear the future.”
Chapter 21
We sat in Liam’s room as Conor and Lexie exchanged words in an intense discussion. His trip had taken much longer than anticipated. He frowned and furrowed his brow.
Unable take any more bad news tonight, I had to know Grant was okay. I sat on my hands to avoid leaping up and shaking the information out of Conor.
Liam lounged in the chair next to me. When I caught him staring, he shifted his gaze quickly.
Cara had come that night as well. It should have been one big reunion but it was tainted by worry, doubt and fear. Cara had heard the rumors of Orin but hadn’t heard about my connection.
Conor glanced at me. He grimaced.
My heart sank. What was that look?
They broke apart and came to where Liam, Cara and I sat.
“I leave you for one day, not even one day, and all of this?” Conor said, “Are you kidding me, Kylie? This is why I didn’t want to leave, but I kept thinking what’s the worst that could happen? They’ll be fine. Oh, but no, instead you’re accused of murder and then almost assault the king.”
“How’s Grant?”
“Seriously? That’s your response.”
“I know this is new info to you, but I’ve already gotten the third degree from these two. So, you’re a little late. I’m ready to hear how Grant is.”
He raked his hand through his hair and shook his head. “He’s fine.”
I pressed my palm to my chest and exhaled.
“Though he wouldn’t be if he knew any of this.”
“Sorry. So what did he say?”
“It was hard to find him, but I did. He thought something was wrong when he saw me, but after I assured him, falsely, you were okay–” He gave me a stern look. “We were able to talk. I told him your concerns and he asked me about a million questions about you. But, I told him the same thing I told you, I refuse to pass your love notes.”
I grinned, imagining what kind of things Grant had wanted him to tell me.
Conor rolled his eyes. “I refused to come back here and tell you how much he misses you and loves you.”
I hid my smile. “Thanks, Conor.”
“Yeah, yeah.” He waved it off, looped his fingers through Lexie’s and pulled her toward the door. “Long day. Exhausted. Going to bed.”
Lexie giggled. “’Night guys.”
After they left, I sat with Cara and Liam. “I guess I’m going back to my room too. I need to get some sleep.”
“I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”
“Liam, I can’t stay here. Though the rumors it sparks may be entertaining to hear, three’s a crowd and I need to get some sleep.”
“Well, I can leave,” Cara suggested, and I regretted my foot-in-mouth comment.
“No way. You stay. I have my own room to go to. I’m not sending you back to the kitchen. It’s my fault you’re even there and this may not be much but it’s better than that.”
“She’s right. You should stay.” Liam’s tone was sincere and gentle as he spoke to Cara, “I can’t watch over her every moment of the day, and from what I’ve seen she can handle herself if need be. Just stay. I’m going to walk her back to her room, make sure Ida is around and she’ll be fine until morning.”
Cara looked at me and opened her mouth about to speak.
“’Night, Cara.” I left before she argued.
Liam told her he’d be right back then followed me out the door. “You sure you’ll be okay tonight?”
I rolled my eyes. “Yes, I’m going to be fine. Quit worrying about me.” I opened my bedroom door and found Ida already there, pulling my nightgown from the dresser.
“Hey,” I said.
She acknowledged me with a nod, but looked away.
“I’ll see you in the morning,” he said.
“Yep.” I gave him a gentle push out the door. “Get some sleep. I’m fine.”
He chuckled as he left.
At least I hoped I’d be fine. When the door closed, I slumped against it.
Ida glanced at me.
I forced myself upright and walked to the bathroom. “Will you still be here when I get out?” I asked.
“Would you like me to?”
“Yes.”
“Then I will,” she said.
“Thanks.” I closed the door.
When I emerged, Ida sat in a chair, reading a book. I crawled into bed and stared at her.
She closed it, set it in her lap and waited. “Is there something I can get you?”
“No.” I fiddled with a loose string on my blanket. “Will you stay until I fall asleep?”
Her eyes widened. “Um, yeah. Of course.” Without another word, she raised her book.
I snuggled into the pillow and tried hard to fall asleep, but the weight of the day’s events was heavy. And what my future now held scared me. I hadn’t been brave with Alastar, but downright stupid and now had no idea what the consequences would be.
Trying to stifle the sound, I sniffled into the pillow. I tried to calm myself and quit crying by thinking of Grant and what he might have told Conor. I even tried to picture what life would be like without any of this, just me and him, but nothing worked. Once the floodgates had opened the tears wouldn’t stop, which furthered my frustrations and triggered more crying.
The mattress sank under the weight next to me. “Are you okay?”
I nodded, keeping my fac
e tucked away.
“I’m new to this life. I grew up in a small village and the chance to work here thrilled me. I left behind my small home for a grand one, and my simple existence for a beautiful life of royalty. At least I thought it was beautiful, but even though you don’t think I listen to you, I do. And I heard what you had to say.”
With my hand, I pushed the pillow down and peeked up.
“I’m sorry I didn’t see it before, but I do now. Just because it seems glamorous to me, doesn’t mean it is. In fact, I wonder what was wrong with my life back home? My parents loved me. We had food, a home, nothing extravagant but we had what we needed. I even had a boy there.” She looked away with a small smile but it faded as she turned to me.
“We’d grown up together and I liked him, but I thought he wasn’t enough. I wanted more, but I realize now, there isn’t more. Life is a series of moments pulled together by emotions. If I had love, happiness and security, I didn’t need more. A royal life and castle can’t guarantee those things. You’ve shown me that. I know now my life back home was better than the one you’re living.”
“Um, thanks?”
“You know what I mean. I’m trying to say I’m sorry I misjudged you and I understand why you’ve done the things you’ve done. I may not agree with them, or even like them, but you’re trying to find your happiness. Nobody can fault you for that.”
“That’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me. Thank you.”
She mumbled “your welcome” then bolted upright and returned to her book.
“Ida, do you want to go home?”
“Sometimes I do, but I wonder what people would think. That I failed? I don’t want to prove anyone right who thinks I’m not meant for a bigger life.”
“No one will think that, in fact they’ll be happy to have you home. Especially the boy.”
“Maybe, but maybe not. I left him. I don’t think he can forgive that.”
“If nothing else, Ida, I hope you see, through what’s happening to me, love can forgive almost anything. If he loves you, he was never mad to begin with. He let you go because it was the right thing to do. If you go back to him, you’ll only confirm that.”
“I guess.”
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