by Helen Fields
‘Well, I’ll pass that on, Mr Fortune and I’ll tell her I think she was a fool for missing out on a man like you.’ I could hear him laughing as he closed his door. The rain had stopped although fog had descended on the city. I went back to my hotel to change for dinner and decided to celebrate this small step forward with dinner in Chinatown.
I put on a cotton wrap dress, tied at the hip, and walked out into the dusk air. With the fog across the bay the air was a hazy pink colour, almost aglow. Rather than waste such a beautiful night by walking north straight through the city I chose to go eastwards to the seafront and wander up the Embarcadero around the edge of the bay. It has stunning architecture on one side and an expanse of water the other, rippling with the colours of the melting sun. As I walked further north around the bay I felt the uncomfortable sensation of being watched but saw no-one and heard no footsteps behind me. When I finally decided on a restaurant, I took a seat in the window to watch the world go by.
This time when Perun took his seat beside me it was hardly surprising at all and even the shiver that ran down my spine was familiar. He didn't bother with an explanation, just sat and watched me pick up my glass to drain the contents. He was looking devastating in a white shirt and black jeans. When he walked between the tables to reach mine I could see women openly staring at him. He didn't bother returning their admiring glances; I think he just took the attention as read. Yet I still couldn't call him good-looking. He had none of those dimensions of a face that tells stories or shows humour, no laughter lines, no battle scars. Just endless perfection and it made him close to bland.
'I wasn’t expecting to bump into you in San Francisco.'
'Of course you were. I was following you before, I know you felt it. Why didn't you wait?'
'Because in my experience you show yourself when you want to and not when I want you to. I can take care of myself without a bodyguard, thank you, if that's what you were doing.' I raised my hand to the waiter to request a refill. Perun was already pouring himself ice-water. 'Thank you for the photo, I guess the fact that you're here means that you know what I found in Brezno. I'm a bit tired of the games, Perun. I don't want to play anymore. Why didn't you just tell me what you knew?'
'You wouldn't have believed it from me. You needed to make the journey yourself.'
'I don’t need a life coach, thank you. Why are you here?' Perun held my face with his hand and pulled my head slightly towards him so that we were staring directly at one another. 'What colour are my eyes?' he whispered.
'They're...' I faltered, tried to answer, blinked and looked again. 'I don't know,' I said. They were no colour I'd ever seen and I couldn’t answer him. 'Stop it Perun, I’m in no mood for trickery.'
'Just because you cannot comprehend something does not make it trickery. The only limit to what I can tell you is what you are prepared to hear. The truth is that you already know a lot more about me than you’re admitting to yourself.’
'I know nothing about you, except that you’ve followed me halfway around the world and I can only assume you have good a reason for it. I think now might be a good time to start sharing.' Perun came around to my side of the table and sat next to me in the booth.
'Don't scream,' he murmured. I had no time to react as he grabbed my hand and pulled it forward over the tea-light candle in the centre of the table. He pushed my wrist down over the naked flame and the burning pierced like a knife. His other hand had snaked round my back and covered my mouth so I didn't scream out loud. He pulled my wrist back out of the flame and turned it over so that I could see the crumpled skin and blackened edges of the wound. Tears coursed down my cheeks, the pain was dreadful. I was shaking all over and I felt certain I was going to pass out.
He put his fingertips over the wound and slowly pressed them into the burn. It took a few seconds but the terrible stinging started to lessen. The raw flesh began to go cloudy and then whitened. As he pressed his fingers down harder, the shrivelled skin turned to dust and the flesh knitted at the edges so I could barely see a scar. When he took his hand away only the palest of pink circles remained. 'That will fade over the next few hours. The new skin needs to get used to your body.' I pulled my hand from his.
'What the hell are you?' I hissed.
'I am the same as you. You can do what I just did. You’ve lived your life trying to blend in and conform to the rules that desiccate human potential. Eve, have a little faith in the things you feel even if you can’t see or touch them. There's a whole other world waiting for you. Pretending this isn't happening is no longer an option. You're needed.'
I grabbed my bag from under the seat, threw some cash onto the table and stood to leave. He put his arms round my waist and tried to pull me back into my seat. I pushed my hands out instinctively and knocked a glass flying, silencing the restaurant. The chatter returned in an instant but I saw that Perun had caught the gaze of a man sat in a large group a couple of tables away and had been distracted by him. I used the opportunity to push past and run out of the restaurant. A waiter immediately stood between Perun and the exit to ensure that the bill was settled. I hailed a cab and jumped in without looking back. Back in my room, I poured myself a large gin and stared out of the window at the world below.
Maybe I’d made a mistake; perhaps it would have been better to have found out everything tonight. I threw myself onto my bed without bothering to do more than take off my shoes. From under my dress I pulled out the locket I'd been sent. The hair belonged to the woman in my dream. If she were my mother, why did it feel as if she had been telling me to keep away? I clutched the locket in my hand hoping that I would dream of her again but the combination of alcohol and exhaustion amounted to a night of nothing but blackness.
Thirteen
The previous day’s storms had cleared the skies so that they were a brilliant blue. Whilst trying to quell my hangover with coffee and pastries I found a phone number for the Pacific Repertory theatre from the web. It looked fantastic. I've always loved the theatre; those few hours of losing yourself completely in the writer’s fantasy and the energy that buzzes from the actors. The Pac Rep, as it was abbreviated, could be found at the Golden Bough Playhouse in downtown Carmel. I took a large swallow of caffeine and picked up my mobile.
'Good morning, Golden Bough Theatre, how may I help you?' The voice was cheery and professional.
'Yes, morning. I'm trying to get hold of Sabina Roman and I understand she does some work with you.'
'I'm afraid Miss Roman doesn't take calls and she isn't here at the moment. If you’re coming for the auditions this afternoon you'll have to wait to see her then.'
'Well, does she have a contact number or email address?'
'We can't give that sort of information out, I'm afraid. The auditions start at 2pm. You'll need to bring your CV and head shots. It's first come first served so get here early if you want to be seen. We close the list at 4pm. Goodbye ma'am.' The line went dead. I sat staring at the floor for a couple of minutes and then realised that, far from having no way of contacting Sabina, I knew exactly where she would be this afternoon. Carmel-by-the-in-Sea was about 90 miles from the city. I jumped up, threw on my tightest jeans, a black t-shirt and some ankle boots then ran for the door. There was no time to lose.
Just where the Embarcadero sweeps under Bay Bridge I'd seen a motorcycle rental company. I'd taken my test a few years ago when I was stuck in the middle of a drugs trial that went on for months. Every day after court I did an hour of training. By the time the trial ended I’d passed my test and bought myself a small bike. The novelty didn’t last long, it just wasn't practical enough to get me to court every day in the British weather and I resorted to using my car. Now, finally, it came into its own. I hired a mid-range Honda that was light enough for me to handle safely, some leathers and a helmet. I persuaded them to throw in a satellite navigation unit with headphones free of charge. I filled up with fuel and started the journey south to Carmel.
I found the theatre at thre
e in the afternoon. By then the reception area was full of people nervously walking up and down, doing warm-ups and talking to themselves. A woman thrust a clip board at me with a form to fill in and gave me a number. I was supposed to wait until called and then go through to the stage. I figured that at some point I’d be able to slip quietly into the auditorium and wait until the auditions were over to speak with Sabina. After about quarter of an hour I saw an opportunity and tried to sidle in through an upper level door when one of the theatre staff spotted me.
'I need your form before you can go in there,’ he said.
'I just wanted to watch...'
'No exceptions, fill in the form, we're too busy not to get everything done properly. It causes chaos.' He looked apologetic but serious. I dashed my details into the boxes on the form. The man was holding his hand out for it before I got within ten yards of him.
'Thank you sweetie,' he called after me. 'Love the leathers!' I laughed and went through the door to sit in the back row of the theatre. I realised I should have taken off the biking clothes and slunk into a corner to peel them off but as I bent to unzip my boots a voice shouted my name. I really hadn't thought this through.
'Oh bollocks, bollocks, bollocks!' I whispered as I tried to look confident climbing the steps down to the stage.
'Stand on the mark, please. Lights!' A man shouted into the now darkened auditorium. 'This is Eve MacKenzie, reference 24K.'
'Miss MacKenzie, I don't have your headshots or CV, they should have been handed in with your form,’ a female voice from the dark replied.
'I'm sorry,' I said, although I couldn't quite make out who I was speaking to. 'I wasn't prepared for this, I just rang this morning and they told me about the auditions. You see, I need to speak to...' I was cut off mid-sentence and the voice was not going to listen to argument.
'Who’s your agent, Miss MacKenzie? Jake can phone them and verify who you are.' I thought I'd try one last plea.
'I only arrived on the plane from England this week and I didn't know how to contact you, so I suspect there's been a misunderstanding.'
'We just need the name of your agent and we can talk about the details later, otherwise I'm afraid you'll have to leave. We have another thirty people waiting to be seen.'
'Daniel Fortune. My agent is Daniel Fortune, at Pinnacle. Do you know him?' I stepped over the line separating bending the truth from lying with no hesitation at all. I crossed my fingers behind my back and hoped I could get through the next few minutes without being thrown out.
The female voice was markedly softer when it replied this time. 'Yes, I know Daniel very well. Alright, Jake can contact him to sort out the paperwork. Let's see what you can do, my dear. Your monologue, if you please.' I was sure by now that the woman I was speaking to was Sabina Roman. She had a well-rounded American accent but I could still hear the faintest trace of eastern European.
'I haven't prepared anything actually, I didn't know what to expect. I'm so sorry. If I could just have a moment of your time to talk in private, Miss Roman?'
'Not today, far too busy, but if Daniel sent you I'll give you another chance. I like the leathers and the hair; it's perfect for the role of Kate so at least you've come looking the part. Jake, hand Miss MacKenzie the fifth act soliloquy. You'll have to read it without a warm up or we'll be forced to move on to someone else. I take it you are familiar with The Taming of the Shrew?'
'Of course.' A piece of paper was thrust into my hands. I was going to have to audition if I didn't want to lose my chance to speak with her. I just needed to buy enough time to get her attention. Shakespeare is a favourite of mine so I took a deep breath and began to read. I went slowly and gently. I'd been taught at school that you should read Shakespeare as if you were having a conversation with a friend, never overacting. As I ran over the first few lines my confidence grew and I looked up into the bright lights. Years of being in court had given me the confidence to project my voice and look up when reading aloud. When I’d finished there was a moment of quiet and then a single pair of hands began to clap. They continued until the lights came up. My eyes adjusted and I could see a woman a few rows back in the auditorium. Her hair was greying but tied back in an immaculate bun. I watched carefully and saw the tell-tale shake in her hands, although it wouldn't have been noticeable if I weren't looking for it.
'That was very good. Have you played Katherina before?' I opened my mouth to extricate myself from the situation before I lied any further when her assistant came back in and cut me off.
'I'm sorry Miss Roman; I have Mr Fortune on the phone for you. He's asking to speak to you immediately. He apologises but says it's a matter of importance.'
'Very well, Jake. Wait outside please; we'll call you back in if we need you.' I suspected that my day was over. I hadn't anticipated Jake calling Daniel whilst I was still on stage. I hated to be lied to and imagined how Sabina would react when she found out the truth.
I sat down on the corridor floor and the young man who'd expressed his admiration for my leathers flopped down next to me.
'She's a tough audience, huh? Don't take it to heart, she just doesn't let anybody get away with less than perfection. When I auditioned to join the company two years ago she screamed at me for my enunciation. I thought it was the end of the world. She called me back, told me I was in and gave me a lecture about sloppy speech for the next two hours. She's a pussy cat when you get to know her. It's Eve, right? I'm Xander. That hair colour is divine. Who's it by?'
'Um, that's just my natural colour.'
'Get out of here! I just love it. And that accent, you're Australian right?'
'English.' Xander squealed at me and then hugged me in a way that made me grin from ear to ear. I held back a laugh; he was a caricature of a sitcom character.
Jake poked his head out of the door and called me back in. I stood up and held my hand out to Xander. 'It was a pleasure meeting you Xander. If I'm in California long enough I'll try to come and see you on stage.'
'Don't say goodbye yet, I'm sneaking in to see what she says.'
'I wouldn't bother, honestly, I suspect it will be brief and humiliating.' Xander wasn't taking me quite literally enough. He squeezed my hand and pushed me through the door, following close behind.
'Oh, honey, we all feel like that when we audition. Just keep smiling and believe in yourself.' I walked back down onto the stage. Before anyone could say anything I thought I should apologise.
'I just want to say I'm sorry. I wasn't ready for today and I handled it badly.'
'No need to apologise, my dear,' Sabina cut across me. 'Daniel explained that you've had no time to prepare or have any head shots taken since you arrived in the States. I was in your situation myself, many years ago, so I understand how hard it is to move half way across the world to pursue a career. He also said that you have his full backing. He asked me to tell you that he'll do all the paperwork, nothing to worry about. He really is an excellent agent, you're very lucky.' I stood with my mouth open. Words completely failed me. Far from being found out, Daniel had apparently taken a leap of faith and backed up my story.
'Thank you.'
'Don't thank me, thank yourself. You read beautifully and you're a perfect choice for the role of Kate. If Daniel Fortune says you're up to the job then I have no doubt that you are. He'll prepare contracts; Xander can give you the tour now if you have time. I'd like to meet here again tomorrow, ten o'clock if that suits you?'
Jake was tapping his foot by then, quite loudly, on the stage. 'I'm sorry Miss Roman, we still have a lot of people to see for the other roles. If you don't mind we should get started again.' He led me off the stage. My face must have been a picture.
As Xander pushed me through the exit door I managed to say, 'I'm not quite sure how all this happened. She's made a mistake.'
'Oh, have more faith in yourself.' Xander picked me up and whirled me around. 'Welcome, welcome, beautiful English Eve. I'm so excited, come on, I've got to show you your new
home!' I pleaded a need for the restroom and hid myself in a cubicle. I finally stripped off the leather trousers and took stock of what had happened. In the space of an hour I had an agent and a job in a professional theatre company. I rummaged in my bag for a comb to sort out my hair and found Daniel's card. I would call him later and sort out the technicalities. For now, I wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth. If I were honest, I loved the feeling of being on stage, immersing myself in a different character, forgetting my own problems. People would pay their life savings for the chance I'd just been given.
Xander showed me around the whole theatre, from the offices and bar to the backstage areas, dressing rooms and green room. The Circle Theatre puts on plays in the round and the Golden Bough itself, with a traditional theatre layout holds an audience of up to three hundred. More impressive than both of those were the photos Xander was showing me of the Forest Theatre, outdoors on Santa Rita and Mountain View. Built in 1910, the amphitheatre can hold an audience of five hundred and forty people at a time. It looked breath-taking. I was totally and utterly terrified. What the hell had I got myself into? Performing the lead in one of Shakespeare's best loved plays in front of that many people? I really had to go back and tell the truth.
'Xander, I have to go. I can't do this. I'm just going to let everybody down. I don't have the training or the experience. I need to see Sabina right now.'
The bubbly blonde beside me looked serious for the first time. 'What you need is to come with me,' he said. 'Give me an hour of your time. Then if you really want to, I'll take you back so that you can give up the best opportunity of your life.' Put like that, I felt like an idiot. Xander was being so sweet that the least I could do was let him show me whatever he had in mind. We left the theatre and hopped into a little car parked outside on Casanova Street. Xander drove as if he were about to fall off a cliff. It was odd seeing someone so confident suddenly look so afraid. We drove a few blocks inland out of the town then started to climb a hill at the edge of Carmel. We soon pulled up next to a sign for the Forest Theatre. We walked some way to the auditorium and Xander motioned for me to sit down. A semicircle of tiered seating looked down onto a bare stage. I whistled appreciatively. It was big and scary, but also magnificent.