Since they were acting strange anyway, Emmy went around the back of the gas station this time, a section she had avoided earlier since she couldn’t think of a normal reason to examine the area. She walked up and down the back wall, which appeared gray and dirty, and ordinary. While she looked at the wall, she felt the weight of the forest on her back, breathing on her. Emmy reminded herself she wasn’t afraid. Not of trees.
Emmy forced herself to turn and face the forest; she saw something glinting between the trees. The sun hit a piece of metal in a way she would have missed when the sun was lower in the sky. The bizarre sunlight glinting in between the trees filled her with a dread she could not explain. That is not scary. That is not scary. What could be scary about sunlight reflecting off of metal?
She walked toward the metal to investigate, a nearly impossible task. The fear threatened to paralyze her. Her throat became tight and she struggled to breathe. Her heart pummeled in her chest. She felt lightheaded at first, and then her head throbbed. But she kept walking toward the metal object. She had never felt anything so evil.
Her chest hurt now and her face dripped with both tears and sweat. She wiped away the moisture, half expecting blood. By the time she stood in front of the object, she felt as if she was at the bottom of the ocean. She couldn’t breathe and the pressure threatened to crush her bones. But it wasn’t cold and dark like the sea. It was hot and bright. Burning. She could barely open her eyes.
She covered her mouth to try and keep herself from vomiting, and forced her eyes to focus on whatever metal object lay before her. She kept blinking at it. She saw a mangled car bumper. By the level of rust, someone had tossed the bumper here years ago, from some long-past collision on the highway.
This object should not terrify her. It had been here too long to have anything to do with Julie’s disappearance. Nothing made any sense. This realization terrified her more. She hated things that didn’t make sense. And she hated feeling afraid. If she was afraid, there better be a damn good reason. She couldn’t take the fear anymore.
She turned and ran out of the forest at full speed. So fast, she tripped on a branch and scratched up her palms and knees yet again, but she hardly noticed the burning scrapes. She jumped up and kept running. The evil car bumper seemed to loom closer, following at her heels. She made it to the edge of the forest and had never been so happy to stand under the oppressive August sun. The forest still seemed to breathe it’s hot breath on her neck, so she pressed her back against the gas station so the forest couldn’t sneak up on her, and focused on breathing.
After a few minutes, she realized something was off. She had stood there drenched in sweat and hyperventilating loudly for at least two or three minutes, but no one came to check on her.
“Evangeline?”
The side of the parking lot was empty except for Patrick’s car. A different fear crept in now. A very real fear. One she could define. Don’t panic. Don’t panic. She probably just went inside. Reminding herself not to panic didn’t help much. Most people didn’t have to jump to the most terrible conclusion. They could think the more obvious thing could be true. But for dark wizards, the most terrible conclusion was almost always the right one.
Emmy practically flew around the pumps and into the store looking for her sister. She threw open the door to the station bathroom and darted up and down the aisles, ignoring the alarmed looks of the station attendants and patrons. Then she ran around the perimeter of the station calling for Evangeline. The reality creeping in…growing stronger and stronger…filling her with more and more dread.
With no sign of Evangeline anywhere around the station, she ran back into the forest. For some reason, the fear of losing her sister made the fear living in the forest less powerful, much less real.
“Evie!” She screeched the name with an intensity she didn’t know she was capable of. Her screech vibrated the air. She thought she could breathe fire if she wanted to, but didn’t know what good that would do anyone.
She kept running, deeper into the forest, with no idea which direction she ran. Whatever kept her out before, didn’t stop her now. Nothing could stop her now. Eventually, her lungs and legs failed her and she had to stop running. So she walked. And walked. And walked. She saw a clearing ahead and started running again, just to find herself running right back into the gas station parking lot. The forest had once again swallowed her and spit her right back out.
Furious, she ran back in, thrashing through the thick branches as if she hoped she could hurt them, but only getting her arms and legs covered in more scratches.
“Fuck you,” she yelled at nothing. “I’m right fucking here. Come on, take me too! Why won’t you take me too!?”
She threw a rock at a tree as hard as she could.
“Or are you too scared?” She held her hands out in welcome. “Come on, motherfucker! I’m right here!”
She sunk to her knees. Her sister was gone. And it was all her fault.
Emmy kept walking until the sun sunk low in the sky. She knew if she hadn’t found Evangeline yet, she wouldn’t. But she thought maybe she would fall into the same rabbit hole. Why not? Why Julie and Evangeline, and not her? If she could get the evil to take her too, she could follow Evangeline in. She could find her. She could bring her home.
But part of her knew that wouldn’t happen. She had walked through the forest several times, sometimes alone, at night, and nothing snatched her. Julie and Evangeline got within arms reach of the forest during the day, with someone else, and they vanished into thin air. If the darkness wanted her, it would have taken her.
Now, she just delayed the inevitable. As soon as she got in the car and left, it would be real. Official. She’d have to tell Dad. And Xavier. She’d have to tell them what she had done.
avid must have fallen asleep in the chair, because he found himself standing in front of Crystal—Xavier and Evangeline’s mother who had died last year. She glowed with happiness and health. Her black hair shone, and her skin looked tan and rosy. She had white teeth and bright red, sparkling lips. She didn’t look anything like he remembered her, perhaps a sign she was nothing more than an illusion, a Crystal that never existed anywhere but in his own head.
The real Crystal would not have appreciated what David had done with her in his subconscious mind. She might have tolerated the cheerleader smile and the ample amount of naked skin. But she wouldn’t have liked the gold sequined bikini and gold high heels, or the bizarre gold crest perched atop her head, like a Vegas showgirl. She twirled two chains around her, both with a fireball at each end. She danced and swung the fire in the air, making elaborate patterns, and just missing her bare flesh. The image, however ridiculous, mesmerized him.
She stopped her dance, and looked right at David, still twirling her lit chains. She shook her head and snickered at him.
“David, why are you looking at me?”
“How could I not?”
“You silly man. You shouldn’t look at me.”
“Why?”
“Because that’s what he wants.”
“Who?”
She looked into the darkness behind David. “The magician.”
David spun around. He saw a dark theater with only one occupied seat. The lone figure appeared as nothing but a mass of darkness. No face. No features. No body. Just darkness. The more David squinted toward the figure, the more the darkness swelled. The dim lights faded, until he could no longer make out the seats or the aisle. He turned back to Crystal, but she had disappeared too. The darkness became absolute, but he was not alone. Somewhere, in the darkness, lurked the magician.
Perhaps the fear woke David, because he jolted awake with his heart racing. He felt out of sorts, as if he hadn’t slept for three days but had drunk copious amounts of espresso. Exhausted and panicky at the same time. Despite a bad night’s sleep, he couldn’t believe he had drifted off. He couldn’t imagine ever sleeping again until he knew Amanda would be okay.
He and Jude waited outs
ide the radiology department for the doctors to run more tests on Amanda—an experience so surreal, he hung on to the hope this was all an elaborate nightmare.
As Janet or Janice had said, Jude looked good. Too good, if that was possible. As Crystal had looked in his dream. Seeing Crystal so healthy and happy reminded him she wasn’t real, and that’s how he felt now, looking at Jude. Of course, he was real. He had driven Amanda here. He had called David. He had talked to doctors and nurses. But something about him didn’t feel real. Altered.
“Did I really fall asleep?” David asked.
“Yeah.”
“I can’t believe I did that. I didn’t miss anything, did I?”
He shook his head. “I can’t believe how long this is taking.”
“Why are you here?” David asked.
“I’m waiting to hear what the doctor says.”
“No, I mean, why are you here? Why were you with her when she passed out?”
“Oh. That.”
“Yeah. That.”
“Maybe I should let Mom tell you.”
David turned and glared at his son. “I have no patience for bullshit right now. Tell me what’s going on.”
“I’m sorry, Dad.”
“Tell me now.”
“I wouldn’t have let her do it if I knew it would hurt her. She kept telling me she was fine. She hid it well.”
“Dammit Jude, start at the beginning of the story, not the end.”
“She was trying a spell. She thought she could remove the darkness…or whatever…from me with magic. Like she did with your memories.”
David didn’t say anything for a while. He had no doubt his son told the truth. It sounded like something Amanda would do.
“So, I guess that’s why you’re all…clean.” He said the word “clean” with distaste. He meant it as a euphemism for something terrible, although he didn’t know what.
“Her spell worked. Mom is incredible.”
“Of course, it fucking worked. All the crap that was in you went right into her. Energy can transform, but it can’t die. So, congratulations. You moved it to your mother. How could you be so selfish?” How could she be so selfish? How could she take herself from him?
“I told you, I didn’t know.” He averted his eyes. “I’m sorry.”
David’s throat felt dry. He wanted to fall asleep again.
“So what then, you’re fine now? Just a normal guy?” He asked it sardonically. He couldn’t believe that.
“Well, it’s more than that. I have something else.”
“What?”
“I met somebody.”
David didn’t respond.
“She’s amazing. She’s beyond amazing. I’d like for you and Mom to meet her.”
David shot his words at him. “You think I care about that right now? You killed your mother and you want to introduce me to your girlfriend? I—do—not—care.”
“I just…”
“Maybe your mother thought your life was worth more than hers, but I don’t. I’m sure that’s why she didn’t tell me. I would have stopped her. I would have never let her sacrifice herself for you. Your soul is not worth hers. Not by a long shot.”
“I didn’t…”
“Why are you still here? I’m going to have to tell your brothers and sisters about this, and then they’ll come up here. And you can’t be here. Get out.”
“You can’t do that. What if she gets worse? What if she… I want to be with her.”
“Get—out.”
Jude stood up and grabbed his keys and his phone like a ghost fumbling through long-forgotten tasks. David saw an elderly woman watching them from several seats over.
“Damn,” she muttered under her breath, giving David a sour look.
David felt as if he watched a giant wave swelling in front of him. He swam away as fast as he could, but he couldn’t swim forever. The wave would crash right on top of him. But for now, he swam away. He couldn’t accept that anything was wrong with Amanda. He couldn’t handle it. He didn’t have the strength or the courage. And as bad as it would be for a Mundane, the loss could devastate a dark wizard. She was his talisman. He needed her.
While David waited, he tried to pray, but it didn’t work. He ended up yelling at God in his mind. He tried to ask God to protect her, but ended up making demands. No. This is unacceptable. You can’t do this. I won’t accept it. Don’t even think about it. Who do you think you’re kidding? Un-freaking-acceptable. No. No. No. Not happening. Amen.
A nurse finally came out and said they’d moved Amanda back to her room and she was waiting for him.
When he came to her bedside, she’d never looked so happy to see him. Her whole body melted in a sigh. She reached for him eagerly. This shook David more than anything else. He had never seen her look so frightened. She was the strong one.
“David,” she whispered his name like a poem. “I’m so glad you’re here.”
He did the best he could to gather her in his arms with her hooked up to several tubes and contraptions. She pressed her face into his shoulder and wrapped her arms around his back so hard, it hurt.
“It’s going to be okay,” David said, aware that the platitude meant nothing.
“Where is Jude?”
David swallowed a growl. She had reached for David so desperately, but mere seconds later she asked for Jude, the one who had done this to her.
“I asked him to leave.”
“David” she chided.
“I don’t want to talk about him. I only want to talk about you.”
“I suppose he told you.”
“Yes.”
“I know you’re angry. That’s why I didn’t tell you. I’m sorry this happened, but I won’t say I’m sorry I did it. He’s our son.”
David couldn’t say anything without sounding selfish. What he had said to Jude about him not being worth saving had been cruel and untrue, but he still wouldn’t have traded Amanda for him. A horrible thing to think about his own son, but true. Jude had done something terrible, something he could never take back. Amanda sat at the center of his universe. Without her, everything hurtled out into space.
“Did you tell the kids?”
“Not yet.” David glanced at his phone as he said it, and wondered why none of them had called. Not that they longed for parental supervision, but dinnertime had come and gone, and they had yet to call to demand food. Or to ask why he and Amanda hadn’t come home yet. Or…anything. “I don’t know what to tell them.”
A doctor came in and introduced himself as an oncologist. David wondered if somewhere in his degree-laden mind, he realized he spilled his guts as soon as he introduced himself.
David’s stomach coiled into a hard ball as he listened to the man talk. He tried to listen. Like Xavier, he sensed he could slip out of this conversation if he wanted to, and had to work hard to resist the temptation. He realized that was how he “fell asleep” in the lobby. He could turn himself off. He didn’t know if he could control it.
Amanda had advanced breast cancer that had already spread to her liver and lungs. Amanda argued she had gotten a mammogram four months ago that came up clean. She also said breast cancer didn’t run in her family. Of course Amanda would want to argue with cancer. As if she believed that if she came up with a rational argument against cancer, it would disappear.
But David knew none of those arguments mattered. He knew the darkness she had taken from Jude had invaded her body – and it had already taken root.
t had taken several hours, instead of several weeks, but Patrick had called Emmy twice and texted her, “YOU STOLE MY CAR.” Then, “Eve with you?” And later, “Are you okay? Where are you? TEXT ME BACK.”
Dad must still be occupied with his mysterious, urgent task because he hadn’t called. Neither had Mom. 99.9% of the time, Emmy would have relished their sudden lack of stifling attention, but now it infuriated and frightened her. Not because she was mad at them for turning a blind eye, but because the magic ha
d tricked her. Their inattention and the timing of Dad’s sudden departure were way too convenient to be a coincidence. And as Evangeline said, there were no coincidences. Somehow magic called them away, but she didn’t know if something dark had called them away so Evangeline would be free for the taking, or if she herself had managed to will them away for her own ends.
Even if Emmy could find Evangeline, she knew she couldn’t go on for any longer. She felt dizzy, and had even venturing into the forest a few feet confused her. She sat on the side of the road, the dry pine needles and twigs digging into her thighs. Her head throbbed as if her brain might start oozing out of her ears.
She had already stalled way too long. She had to get it over with and call someone. Do something. Stop being selfish. Evangeline needed help and she couldn’t provide it on her own. After staring at her favorites list for a while, in a state of paralyzing indecision, she took a far right turn and pulled up Nathan’s number. She had never called it, but had liked knowing she could. And as soon as she thought of it, she didn’t have to sit in a pool of worry and indecision. She pressed call.
“Hello?”
“Nathan?”
“Hang on. Let me go somewhere else.”
“Wait, just…”
“Hang on.”
Emmy heard chatter in the background. Nathan must be with people, and didn’t want to get caught talking to a winter witch. She had to sit there and wait while he made some excuse and walked to the ends of the earth to find a place to talk to her.
“Nathan…Nathan…Nathan!”
“Okay, now I can talk.”
“Nathan, something happened.”
“What’s wrong?” His tone shifted in a heartbeat.
Emmy could feel heat in her eyes but tears didn’t come. She willed herself to form words.
“Emmy? Talk to me.”
Watch Me Burn: The December People, Book Two Page 10