Nathan didn’t say anything at all. Despite the oppressive heat, he looked frozen. Pale, cold, and unmoving. She didn’t wait for him to spout out any more lies, she just kept going.
“You know, I underestimated you, too. You put together one impressive magic trick. You know which part floored me? When you gave my mom cancer just to distract my Dad so you could kidnap Evangeline. I mean, that’s really, really cold. And that’s coming from someone who’s supposed to be nothing but ice all the way down. Yeah, you’re a powerful wizard, but you know what? I think, in the end, it doesn’t matter. I think your brains and blood will splatter all over the dirt, just like they would if you were a Mundane. What do you think?”
“I…I’m sorry your Mom has cancer. I didn’t know that. And I didn’t know about the fire either. I’m sorry about that, too.”
“Are you fucking kidding me? That’s all you have to say?”
“You’re wrong about me. I didn’t do any of those things you’re accusing me of. And part of you knows that, so you’re not going to shoot me.”
“You know, you’re not as good at that mind-control thing as you think you are. I can break it.”
“I know. I’m not commanding you not to shoot me, I trust you won’t shoot me.”
“Why not? Isn’t that what winter wizards do? We’re hopelessly evil, remember? We need to be cleansed from the earth.”
“I don’t believe that,” he said.
Emmy laughed as coldly as she could.
“Hold a gun to my head all you want. I’m never going to confess to something I didn’t do. You’re wrong about me…but you’re not wrong.”
“What do you mean?”
“You’re just not wrong. You should stay away from me. Your family should leave town.”
“Are you threatening me?”
“No. I mean, yes. Whatever you want me to say. Whatever gets you away from me.” His voice had fallen flat now.
The apathy made her want to shoot him more. As natural enemies, he should at least fight her. After everything he had done, he should at least be honest. If he was the enemy, at least things would make sense.
She approached him and put the gun against his temple. He tensed up and closed his eyes. She thought at least in that moment, he feared for his life. But she had never intended to kill him. She refused to be the villain he wanted her to be. She reached into his pocket and took his phone and his keys and then turned away from him.
She got into the driver’s seat of his truck, drove back to the Starbucks, parked it, and drove back to the hotel in her own.
The air conditioner in the motel room blasted defiantly and enveloped Emmy in frigid air as she entered. Despite the wintery coolness, the room smelled of fire. No matter how many showers they had taken, or how much laundry they had done, the smell of the fire haunted them.
“Are you all right?” Mom lay alone in bed, watching the weather channel, a depressing spread of record breaking highs—each day marked with a cheerful looking sun, that was anything but. No rain. No break. No change.
The question surprised Emmy. She had left several hours ago. And she had grown accustomed to a greeting of, “Where have you been?” or some variation thereof.
“I told you, I went to Starbucks to meet a friend,” Emmy said, answering the unasked question out of habit.
“And how did it go?”
“Fine.”
“Are you sure? That’s not the face of ‘fine’. Tell me, did he admit to anything, or did he keep on lying? I’m guessing the latter.”
“What?”
“Sweetheart, you’re not as sneaky as you think you are.”
“So, you…”
“I know you’ve been sneaking around with that summer wizard.”
“How?”
“You’re not going to like the answer. But you didn’t leave me much choice.”
“How?”
“You wouldn’t tell the truth, so I took it for myself. I looked at some of your memories while you were sleeping.”
Emmy knew what her face might look like. Her eyebrows in a “V,” her mouth in an “O.” For once, she had no words. Most girls just had to worry about their Mom reading their diary. This was so, so, so much worse.
“I understand you’re upset,” Mom said, sitting up slowly. “But I only did it because you wouldn’t tell me anything about where you were sneaking off to. And I was worried about you. If it makes you feel better, it’s not something I do often. It’s difficult, and I find I’m better at removing darkness than finding light. I may not have seen him at all, if you hadn’t been thinking about him a lot.”
That last part made her madder. So, Mom knew how stupid she had been. How much she had liked him. How much hope and happiness she had wrapped up into a guy she barely knew, and a summer wizard at that.
“Why didn’t you say anything? Why didn’t you stop me?” For some reason, her words came out more sad than angry.
“Because if I told you not to see him, you would have married him just to spite me. Instead, you figured it out on your own. Besides, I don’t mean to bruise your teen ego, but I have bigger things to worry about than you having a secret boyfriend. Honestly, I was relieved to find out that was all it was.”
“He was never my boyfriend. And you should have said something. You let me do this. This is all my fault.”
“Oh honey, it is not.”
Mom seemed oddly complacent. Peaceful, but in a bad way, as if she had already given up. Emmy hated it.
“Does Dad know?”
“No. I guess I should have said you’re not sneaky enough to fool me.”
Emmy felt tears burning in her eyes and she fought to keep them back. She had no use for crying, but she’d tried to keep from crying ever since she left Nathan handcuffed to the fence. And she had reached her limit.
Emmy sat on the edge of the bed and Mom put her arm around her. “I’m sorry, honey.”
Emmy didn’t like any of it. She wanted so badly to hate Mom. She was furious with her. But what if they would never speak again? And she hated Mom’s new calm, the way she spoke to Emmy like a stupid little girl who had had her stupid little heart broken for the first time. The fact that it was true made Emmy hate it all the more.
When Mom released her, she had the gun. She must have grabbed it from Emmy’s purse, when Emmy looked away. She examined it peacefully.
“It hasn’t been fired,” she said.
“I wasn’t really going to shoot him. I’m not a murderer.”
“I know. What did you do?”
“I um…handcuffed him to a fence and held the gun to his head.”
Mom laughed. “Wow, that is a bad break-up. Although, for a summer wizard and a winter witch, it sounds about right. Could have been worse.”
“I just wanted him to tell me the truth. I wanted him to feel bad about what he did. Or, at least feel scared. He was scared.” Emmy didn’t think she’d ever forget that moment when she put the gun to his temple, the way his whole body tensed, and he didn’t breathe. In that moment, he thought he might die. And she had made him feel that fear.
“And do you feel better now?” Mom asked.
“No,” Emmy said without having to think about it.
“That’s good. Remember that. When you hurt someone, you always damage your own soul, and it doesn’t feel good. A good person can feel it happening. A bad person doesn’t notice until it’s too late.”
More “death-bed” style wisdom Emmy didn’t like. No life lessons. No words to remember her by.
“So, you think I’m a good person?” Emmy asked.
“Emmy, you’re more than a good person. You’re a great person. You know you drive me crazy, and I don’t agree with a lot of things you do. You’re reckless and sometimes downright foolish, but you’re also brave. You put yourself in danger to help others, even others you have every right to hate. That’s what heroes do. I’m proud you’re my daughter.”
“Mom…” Emmy swelled with pr
ide, but also swelled with fear. She hated this. All these nice things Mom wanted to say now…in case she never got the chance later. It made Emmy’s stomach burn.
“I wanted him to tell me the truth,” Emmy said.
“What truth were you looking for?”
“The truth. That he never liked me at all. That it was all a trick. That he wants to light me on fire and watch me burn.” She quoted Xavier’s words. They had rattled around in her brain ever since he had said them.
“And if that’s not the truth?”
“Summer wizards lit that fire. They tried to kill us. And Xavier told me what summer wizards are really like. How they trick you. And the nicer they are, the more dangerous they really are. It all fits. Right?”
“Oh, I do think summer wizards lit that fire and tried to kill us. But that doesn’t mean it was your friend. I know how you feel. You want it to be simple. You want him to be wrong and you to be right. Him to be the bad guy, and you to be the good guy. But that’s not how it works. And no one should know that better than a winter witch. You wouldn’t want him to judge you by where you sit on the solar calendar, or by what people like you have done, so don’t do that to him.”
“So, what? You don’t think he did anything wrong?”
“Baby, I have no idea. He could be the mastermind behind it all, but it’s just as likely that he’s a nice kid mixed up in something bad.”
“Mom, this is not helpful at all. Why are you doing this to me? I already felt like shit. Either he’s completely innocent in all of this, and I’m a psycho bitch that left him handcuffed on a fence. Or, he’s the dangerous psycho that played me. Both of those things really, really suck.”
“But you showed him you’re not to be messed with. Whether or not he set that fire or is involved in Evangeline’s disappearance, he’s a summer wizard. Sooner or later, he would hurt you. I was afraid to give you this speech earlier, because I knew you would rebel and do the opposite. But maybe now you will listen. Whenever a summer and winter wizard cross paths, it never ends well for the winter wizard.”
“Don’t worry. I’m never going to see him again.”
Mom squeezed her hand. “I hope that’s true. I love you, baby.”
Emmy scowled. She knew her mother loved her, but did she have to sling it around all the time?
“I love you, too,” Emmy said.
avid’s younger brother James leaned against his car in the parking lot of the motel.
“When you called and said you needed help, this is not what I expected,” he said. “I thought you needed help with money, or with the kids, or with Amanda, or with getting a new place. I mean, you do need help with those things, you know.”
“It wasn’t easy for me to call you and ask you for help.”
“I don’t know what you think I can do. I’m not a practicing wizard.”
“But you were. And you remember it. I’m going to go after Prescott with or without your help. And he is a practicing wizard, and probably a good one. I don’t know shit about magic. You don’t have to do any actual magic if you don’t want to, just tell me what to do. Tell me how to beat him.”
“I didn’t come by the decision not to practice lightly. You can’t change my mind.”
“Oh, bullshit. If you’re like all the other supposedly non-practicing wizards I have known, you won’t be as hard to convince as you’d like to think. You, Amanda, Carson, you’re all dying to do magic. And you can find any excuse to break your beliefs.”
“Yeah, no kidding. You’re offering a drink to man who’s been sober for five years. You’re a real hero.”
“Five years? Are you saying you stopped practicing magic five years ago?”
“Yes.”
“Five? As in, 2009.”
“Yes, that’s what I said.”
“I…I assumed you had been younger, like I had been. I gave it up in college. Or, as Amanda tells me I did. 2009?” David wished James would take off his sunglasses so he could see his eyes, maybe then he could read him better.
2009…the year their parents had died. Their father of an aneurysm, and then their mother committed suicide four months later. David wanted to know if any of that had anything to do with why James gave it up…if maybe he had something to do with their father’s death… But he also didn’t want to know. “You started dating Justin that year,” David said.
“Yeah.”
“So you went from being a full-fledged practicing wizard, to giving up magic completely and moving in with a Mundane?”
“How many times are you going to ask me the same question?”
“I’m sorry. It bothers me when I learn something that big. Something I should have known.”
“It’s one of the main reasons we haven’t been close as adults. I was practicing, and you weren’t. You disapproved. At least, I had thought that was why. What’s your excuse now? Is it the gay thing?”
“No, it’s not the gay thing. Hell, I don’t know why we haven’t been close. I’m sorry. But now it’s the other way around. So, you should have more sympathy for me. You were me.”
“Look at what has happened to your life since you found out you were a wizard. Look at what’s happened to your family. In less than a year. Your life is barely recognizable.”
“It’s not like I haven’t fucking noticed. You don’t need to tell me. Don’t act as if everything that has happened has been my choice. None of this had anything to do with me practicing magic. I barely can. I don’t know shit about it. If I could have done anything to prevent my family from being hurt, I would have done it. And don’t think I haven’t already tried to do everything a normal man can…to try to find Evangeline…to save my wife. It’s not going to be enough. I agree with you, magic is shit. Magic caused all of this. A wizard took my daughter. A wizard burned down my house. Magic made my wife sick.” His voice cracked and he had to stop talking. “I need magic to make it better,” he added after a pause.
“Magic might not make it better,” James said. “It could make it worse.”
David laughed a watery laugh. “I know it’s bad luck to say this, but really? How much worse could it get? I’ve lost almost everything I have.”
“Okay, David.”
“Okay?”
“I’ll help you. With magic.”
James stepped away to call Justin.
“What did you tell him?” David asked when James walked back to the car. He wanted to get out of the heat and move on with this. His skin had already grown an extra ten years older, wading through the sun and heat every day looking for Evangeline in that godforsaken forest. He could feel the sunburn on the back of his neck burning hotter.
“I didn’t lie. I said my brother was a total fuck-up and I had to save his ass.”
“I see.”
“I pick which part of the truth I want to share.”
“I don’t understand how wizards don’t get found out. You’d think eventually a Mundane would see something they shouldn’t.”
“I’m sure some Mundanes know,” James said. “But as powerful as magic is, the Mundane is powerful, too.”
“What do you mean?”
“Like, you know, how Mom used to describe it.”
“No, I don’t know,” he said through gritted teeth.
“Right. Well, she said that even though magic is all around, it’s hard for the Mundanes to see it. Magic seeps into Mundane culture all the time, but it doesn’t often make enough of a mark to be taken seriously. It’s so hard to break out of that Mundane world. The drudgery of day after normal day, deep in the mire of ordinary and bland. It sucks you in—blinds you, suffocates you. Even those who want to see the magic have to fight through a thick fog of humanity to even catch a glimpse before falling back into the mire.”
“Yikes,” David said.
“What?”
“You really paint a picture. You sure you’re okay with not practicing magic?”
“Just get in the car.”
“Let me driv
e.”
“It’s my car.”
“Please. I can’t just sit there the whole way. I have to be doing something.”
On their drive to Sugar Land, David spotted a dark-haired woman walking on the side of the highway. She drew his eye for two reasons. For one, he could tell she was a witch from a distance. And two, she looked like Evangeline. Something about the way she walked and the way her long dark hair fell down her back. As he got closer, he could tell she wasn’t Evangeline, but still…so familiar.
He slowed as he passed her. She turned and looked at him. David’s entire body froze. He had never felt so cold. He slammed on the brakes, which caused the car to skid and veer off the highway into the median.
“Son of a bitch,” yelled James as the car skidded to a dusty stop.
David looked back and saw no one. He searched the dry dusty roadside and didn’t see her lying on the ground either, so he didn’t hit her. She had never been there at all. Those sad brown eyes hadn’t looked right at him.
“Ghost,” David said, barely able to catch his breath.
“What?” James said.
“Did you see her?”
“Who?”
“The woman on the side of the road.”
James turned around in his seat and scanned the highway. “Uh…no.”
“Wizards are real. Are ghosts real?”
“I don’t…think so.” He didn’t sound sure.
David pressed his hands to his eyes. He didn’t know if he wanted to scrub her image from his mind or memorize every detail.
“You’re really not okay, are you?” James asked.
“No, James. I am not okay. I don’t think I’ve ever been less okay.”
“Let me drive. You’re too distracted.”
David paused. Something James said shimmered in his brain.
“What?”
“Give me the keys,” James said. “You’re going to wreck my car. You probably already messed it up randomly driving off the highway.”
“No, what else did you say?”
“Uh, I said you seem distracted.”
“Oh, God.”
“What?”
“Oh, no.”
“David, what?”
Watch Me Burn: The December People, Book Two Page 16