Salt water seared my eyes and invaded my lungs as another wave pulled me under against my will. I fought the current, kicking and paddling in a direction I prayed was up. Hoping my life jacket would be enough to get me back to the surface.
I burst through the foaming chaos with just enough time to flip to my back, suck in a huge gulp of air, and then roll as another wave pounded into me like concrete fists, pushing me back into the silt-churned waters.
The undertow felt alive as it grabbed ahold of me and pulled, slamming me into a heap of coral. The little bit of air I had managed to intake whooshed out of me, lost within the swirling waters.
Panic set in as my lungs burned and constricted, desperate for air. I tried to make a break for the surface, but the water was churning, twisting me in uncoordinated circles, until I was completely disoriented. Each time I made it back up, it was only to inhale right before the process repeated itself. I wasn’t sure how many times I rolled. How many times I thought my end had come.
The world began to blur as I fought for my life.
But I wasn’t going to give up. I refused to. Not when there was still so much left to do.
Not when there were still so many things left unsaid.
The light came and went, and then I broke through the watery surface, bobbing like a cork. Rolling over onto my back, I tried to conserve as much energy as possible as my lungs chugged down as much air as they could.
Tired. I was so damn tired.
I could barely keep my swollen eyes open. Barely make out the water from the clouds, and then another wove broke right on top of me, yanking me back into the depths of its churning fury. My body bounced along the seabed. Pain, sharp and searing, licked up the backside of my legs as the undertow dragged me through a bed of coral.
Like single strokes of a razor blade, the coral cut into me, making it feel like I was being peeled all the way down to my bones.
Get back up. Get to the top, I told myself, kicking and pawing at the raging undertow despite my burning muscles depleted of fuel. I tugged and pulled, and tugged some more, but I couldn’t break free no matter how hard I tried.
Fear constricted my lungs as I realized what had happened. I was stuck, trapped against a piece of coral by my own life vest.
Trapped by the very thing that was supposed to help save me.
“MAGGIE!” I SHOUTED INTO THE wind, pointing at the wall of water racing at her.
She couldn’t see it with her head turned in my direction.
Horror. Absolute, soul-shocking horror rolled through me when the wave caught her broadside, tipping her boat so that the keel almost came out of the water.
Oh, Jesus, no….
Dread rolled through me as I watched her slide over the side rail of the boat and disappear under the water.
Turning in a full circle, I looked for help, but with the storm blowing in, everyone had taken shelter to ride it out. Everyone except for Maggie and me.
A rouge wave rolled up, curling right before the end of the dock, and broke as I caught a flash of orange from the corner of my eye.
I spun on my heel, unbuckled a life vest from where it had been hooked on the railing, and put it on as the water from the wave lifted me up and dragged me from the dock.
I rolled in a tumble of arms and legs as the storm surge sucked me into its watery arms, threatening to drown me.
Kicking my legs, I broke the surface and gasped for air as I scanned the water and, in the distance, saw her boat roll over, keel sticking up in the air.
Cutting through a wave, I pushed my body to its limit, trying to get as far away from the dock as I could before the next wave could push me back into it. Visions of dying before I could get to Maggie fueled my protesting muscles.
The wave sets were almost back to back, tossing in a monster now and then that rolled me in a spinning vortex, slamming me into beds of coral that ripped my skin, flaying me alive.
Each time that happened, I’d fight my way back to the surface, more panicked than before to find Maggie.
It didn’t matter how many times I was tumbled, or how many times the ocean tried to drown me. I wasn’t leaving the water until I found her. And if it was fate’s twisted sense of humor to kill us both, then at least we’d die together.
Another wave lifted me as it boiled up, raising me high enough to see Maggie’s boat, upside-down, unmoving as if caught up on something, wedging it tightly to the ocean floor.
And then I saw her, no more than five feet away from me, before another wave broke, dragging her under.
I didn’t think twice about it. I just dove into the next wave and used the momentum of the water to help propel me closer to where I’d last seen her.
Salt water and sand stung my eyes, making everything blur so badly I could hardly see, but there was no missing the sight of Maggie struggling to free herself from her life jacket, which was somehow caught up on a tube-like piece of coral.
She kicked and twisted, fumbling with the buckle that would set her free.
And all at once, she was.
Her hair floated out around her like orange flames as she turned under the water, eyes bulging when she saw me.
Time stilled, but only briefly, because another wave had broken over her and the rip current caught her in its grip, bashing her body against the coral.
Red lines streaked the water like ribbons caught in a stiff breeze.
Silvery bubbles rolled around her. Her body had unnaturally stilled, being tossed back and forth like a ragdoll with every pull of the undertow.
No.
All I could do was swim to her as fast as I could. I had to get her up to the surface before she drowned.
The wave’s pull brought me closer to her, threatening to take me out on the coral too. Maneuvering myself to take the hit feet first, I waited until I was within reach of Maggie and grabbed the only thing close enough to reach, jerking her toward me as the wave shifted, pushing us away from the coral.
My hand was tangled tight in her hair as I pulled her in close enough to wrap my arms around her and kick us to the surface, praying with everything in me I wasn’t too late.
THE PLASTIC CHAIR CREAKED AS I stood up and did my best not to limp across the worn waiting room floor. I’d been waiting for what seemed like forever to fill out the necessary paperwork that would release me from my overnight stay at the hospital.
None of it mattered though. Not a damn bit of it. Not the fact that my chest felt like a hammer had been taken to it, preventing me from being able to take a deep breath. Or the burn of my throat that felt like I’d swallowed a handful of razor blades.
Physical pain was nothing compared to the possible loss of the woman whose heart I knew to be mine. A heart I had broken. A heart I still needed to mend.
The waiting room door swished open as a chaplain, holding his bible to his chest, stepped into the room and was ushered by an elderly nurse straight back to the area only designated for family in the wing Maggie was in.
Swallowing hard, I bit back a strangled cry as the nurse behind the counter called my name again. I remembered signing my name a few times, and that was about it. Whatever medical costs incurred didn’t matter.
None of it mattered without Maggie.
Outside, the sun beat down on me, its brilliance lost to the numbness I couldn’t shake myself from. People talked and moved around me, as if the world hadn’t just caved in. As if life still held the beauty of what Rum Cay had promised me not so long ago.
Of what it took away from me instead.
I chose to sit on a bench just outside the hospital doors. I wasn’t ready to leave Maggie. Wasn’t prepared for the goodbye I had been bracing myself for the moment they rolled her away from me, asking me to get in touch with her next of kin.
They wouldn’t tell me a damn thing either, except they’d do everything they could to save her. I’d begged them over and over to let me do something, anything to help, but I was met with weary eyes, filled with something
close to sorrow, or maybe even pity.
I carried on until one of the nurses tugged me across the waiting room and pushed me into a chair. Her thick accent rolled around me, wrapping me in as she said, “You wanna do sometin’ to help dat gurl?”
I nodded vigorously as she bent down to look into my eyes.
“Pray. ‘Cause God, he gon’ do what he sees best fa her. But maybe he’ll listen if ya loud enough.”
Behind me, the doors swished open, letting out a cold burst of air as visitors came and went. I’d sat so still for so long that the sound had become background noise to the vicious cycle of images barreling through my mind.
I’d gone to someplace outside of myself and was quite content to stay that way.
“Phillip?” A gruff voice broke through the bleakness.
I turned my head up, seeing Sean standing over me, and wished with everything in me that I could just disappear. He looked tired, with lines of sadness weighted at the corners of his eyes. I jerked my gaze away, but not fast enough, because his face was burned into my mind, just like the memory of the blue tinge of Maggie’s skin when we washed up on the beach and I’d fought with everything in me to save her.
“I talked to the hospital director, and they’ll allow you in now,” he said, reaching out to squeeze my shoulder.
I nodded, unable to answer him back.
He dropped his hand and stepped back. “Whenever you’re ready, son, just let the nurse at the front desk know and they’ll bring you back.”
The time had come.
DEATH WAS WORSE THAN I had imagined it would be.
It was dark. Hollow. Endless.
I wasn’t sure how long I had been out, but when my brain finally decided to kick back into gear, I immediately wished for it to shut back off.
Pain was the first thing I remembered. Death sat on my taste buds and clung to my aching limbs. My mouth felt like it had been stuffed full of cotton balls. My body like it had been injected with lead.
“She’s awake!” I heard a woman’s voice say, but no matter how hard I blinked, my eyes wouldn’t clear. “Don’t fight it,” the woman said, her hand smoothing against my forehead. “Sleep, gurl. You’re alive. You’re gonna make it. Sleep.”
So I did.
MY MOTHER REACHED OUT TO me.
I rolled and rolled through the water, and then I saw her, like an angel, with her hand stretched out, beckoning me. The moment our fingers touched, the water stilled and, together, we walked out onto the sunny shore.
“You had me worried for a minute there,” she said, brushing the wet hair from my face.
“I had myself worried,” I said, thinking about the wave striking the boat and the fear of never making it back to the surface.
“You know your father’s getting old. He can’t handle shocks like this, Magdeline Rosalie Fairchild.”
I dipped my head, taking her scolding with a deep swallow. She was right. My dad and I, we were all we had left of each other. I couldn’t leave him yet.
Her fingers brushed under my chin until my eyes met hers. “I love you,” she said, smiling as the sun shone like wings behind her.
“I love you too, Momma,” I said as I threw my hands around her waist, and then spun to find myself standing alone.
“Wake up,” I heard her voice say, and then my eyes flittered open.
“Maggie girl?”
It was my dad, his hands held tight around mine. His watery eyes gazed down on me, hope filling them.
“Dad?” I rasped out, wishing I had just remained silent. The back of my throat was raw. “Water?”
He quickly nodded, and then he reached over to the nightstand for the small cup with a straw. After taking a small, searing sip, I leaned my head back against the pillow, begging the room to stop spinning.
“You sure had us scared,” my dad said, holding my hand again. “With stitches in the triple digits, a fractured collarbone, and a collapsed lung, there was a moment where we weren’t sure you were going to make it… and…”
He stopped, his chest hitching as tears slipped past his eyes.
“And damn it if it didn’t about break me clean in half, Maggie girl. Getting a phone call telling me my daughter had been capsized in a hurricane, and then arriving, seeing you like this…”
I squeezed his hand as hard as I could, gritting my teeth against the pain racing up my arm. “I’m… sorry… Dad,” I managed to get out, feeling my stomach turn for the fear he must have been under.
I didn’t mean to scare him. Didn’t mean for any of what had happened. It was just a storm… the same thing I had faced time and time again, and I thought I had everything under control up until… until…
“Phillip.”
My dad’s eyes cleared a little at the name. “Yes, Phillip. He’s here… waiting for his chance to see you.”
I rolled my head away from my dad as best as I could, letting that be my answer.
He tapped my hand, chuckling a little. “Don’t be stubborn, Maggie girl. He’s the one who saved your life.”
I looked back over at him.
“Yes. He saved you, Maggie. Dove right in like the crazy man he is and pulled your lifeless body back to shore. It’s a miracle that he was even able to with the storm striking as hard as it had. Angels had to have been on his side. On both of your sides.”
My eyes felt warm as I thought about the dream I had of my mother. Of her wings.
“He’s pretty banged up too, so, when you see him, go easy on him.”
“What… happened… to him?” I managed to get out.
“He was raked across a coral reef pretty good. Swallowed a lot of salt water too, but other than that and a few bangs and bruises, he’s okay.”
Relief rushed out of me on an exhale, and then a horrible cough set in that nearly knocked me back out from the blinding pain.
“Here,” my dad said, pressing the button to something connected to the IV running through my veins. A moment later, the pain was nearly gone, dulled by medication.
After I calmed, I grabbed my dad’s hand and said, “I’d like… to… see him.”
He nodded, dipping out of the room. Time passed by just as slowly as it always did, until Phillip’s bruised and battered form was standing in the doorway, eyes wide with tears.
“You’re alive!” he said, rushing over to my side. “I didn’t know… wasn’t sure,” he went on, picking my hand up in his. “I was so worried, Maggie. You were so blue, and nothing I did changed that. I thought… I thought I had lost you.”
Despite my heart breaking and my throat constricting with tears I didn’t want to spill, I managed to find enough strength to pull my hand from his. “You… lost me… way before… that, Phillip,” I croaked out, determined to tell him how I felt. Determined not to get caught up in any more moments with him. I might have been bedridden, but I wouldn’t be weak. I wouldn’t give in.
I waited for him to leave. Waited for him to say he was sorry. Waited for anything, just like I’d always done with him, but he didn’t move. He just stared down at me as if I were made of the finest glass. As if I were a shooting star he was scared of disappearing.
“I didn’t sleep with Sophia,” he said with resolution in his voice.
I felt my face go blank as confusion set in.
“You hate me, and I expect nothing less, but I came here to tell you this, and I’m not leaving until I do. I never slept with her. She drugged me, and then she planted herself in my bed. A little over a month later, she showed up with a fake ultrasound, and being gullible, I believed it without question. If it wasn’t for Ed’s persistence…” He broke off, his hand coming up to his mouth.
A moment later, he sat in the chair by my bed and pulled it as close as he could. “If it wasn’t for Ed, I may not have discovered all the lies. And I might not have… might not have made it here in time… to save you.”
I looked away from him, too overcome with emotion to say anything. My head was swimming in medication and
pain. It was too much to process. It was all a lie. A lie that had nearly cost me my life.
A lie that had nearly cost his.
“I need… time,” I choked out, refusing to look back at him. I knew that if I did, all my strength would leave me and I would beg him to stay.
But he couldn’t.
Not yet at least.
I needed to heal. Needed to be alert so I could talk with him.
I needed time.
PHILLIP’S PERSISTANCE MATCHED MINE.
Every day, for the entire week and a half that I was detained to my bed in the small hospital on the island of Rum Cay, Phillip came to visit, some days spilling his heart out to me, and others just sitting in silence, watching the Bahamian soap operas that played on the small TV in the corner of the room.
It was on those days that I felt my reins loosening.
Sophia would never again be a part of his life. Through her lies and manipulations, Phillip had come to discover who he was as a man… something I had wanted for him all along.
And I realized that sometimes it took colossal mistakes, like the one he’d almost walked into, to truly learn who we were as humans.
I felt proud seeing him standing before me on his own two feet, ready for the world and all it had to offer.
But most importantly… ready for me.
“Two more hours, and you’ll be signed out of here. How do you feel about that?” Phillip asked as his feet bounced against the floor.
I inhaled deeply, glad I could finally breathe normally again. “Stupendous,” I said, matching his smile.
“I spoke to your dad while you were with the doctor. He said he landed safely and to tell you to call him tonight when you get a chance.”
“You and him,” I said, grinning. “You two really get along now, don’t you?”
“I’d hope so. I groveled enough.”
I swatted at the air, but he caught my hand mid-motion, eyes turning serious.
“I love you, Maggie, with all my heart.”
My heart fluttered against my chest. I knew I couldn’t make him wait any longer. He had never meant to hurt me, and since that moment, he’d done everything in his power to fix it. Even saving my life.
Love Always, Page 24