Mr Majeika Joins the Circus

by Humphrey Carpenter

Poor Billy! He had gone, as they say, from the frying pan into the fire. He knew very well that his amazing flying performance had been made to happen by somebody else, probably somebody in the audience. And he thought he might know who.

  He remembered one of the schoolchildren talking to a man with glasses and a beard about magic. And Billy had been in the circus long enough to recognize a magician when he saw one! If only they could meet, then maybe Billy could find out what was going on.

  Then Billy had a stroke of luck. He went for a walk, to help him think things over. And, sure enough, who should he see but the man who had been sitting with the children.

  ‘Hello, Mr Magician!’ said Billy.

  Class Three were all ready for morning school, but there was no sign of Mr Majeika, so they turned the classroom into a circus.

  ‘My lords, ladies and gentlemen, girls and boys,’ called out Thomas, who had decided to be the ringmaster, ‘St Barty’s School Circus is proud to present the most elegant equestrian act in the United Kingdom – please put your hands together to welcome… Miss Jody!’

  ‘What’s an “equestrian act”?’ asked Pete.

  ‘It means an act with horses,’ said Jody.

  ‘But we don’t have any horses,’ said Pete.

  ‘Yes we do,’ said Jody. ‘Get down on your knees!’

  Pete grumbled, but in the end he agreed to be the horse. He trotted round the classroom with Jody on his back. ‘Dance a bit more!’ said Jody, and Pete tried to. But Jody was so heavy that he soon fell in a heap and tipped her on to the floor.

  ‘Never mind the little accident there, my lords, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls,’ said Thomas in his ringmaster voice. ‘It’s time to bring on the clowns. So please put your hands together and give a big warm welcome to the chief clown at St Barty’s Circus – yes, here he is, it’s Smelly!’

  ‘It’s who?’ asked Pete, amazed. ‘You can’t have a clown called Smelly!’

  ‘Why not?’ asked Thomas. ‘The clown at Tottle’s Circus is called Scratchy. What’s the difference?’

  ‘Anyway,’ said Pete, ‘who’s going to be this clown?’

  ‘I am,’ said Thomas.

  ‘But you’re the ringmaster,’ objected Pete. ‘You can’t be the clown as well.’

  ‘Why not? I’m in charge of this circus.’

  ‘No you’re not.’

  ‘Yes I am.’ And they had a fight, with Pete calling Thomas ‘smelly’, and Thomas being just as rude in return. Then suddenly the classroom door opened, and in jumped a lion.

  Afterwards, Jody said that she had known all along that the lion was really Hamish Bigmore. In that case, Thomas had asked, why had she screamed her head off, and jumped up on the table, knocking over piles of books and nearly sending the classroom fish tank crashing to the floor?

  In fact they were all terrified at first, and it wasn’t until they began to realize that the lion was roaring in rather a squeaky voice that somebody called out, ‘It’s all right, it’s only Hamish Bigmore in a silly old lion costume.’ Hamish was roaring and jumping round the classroom, knocking everything over and creating a terrible mess.

  The door opened and in came Mr Potter.

  All at once, the circus screeched to a halt. ‘My lords, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls,’ shouted Thomas in his ringmaster’s voice, ‘that’s the end of this performance by the St Barty’s School Circus, and I’m sorry about the mess, Mr Potter, I really am, and we’ll clear it all up right away’

  ‘You certainly will,’ said Mr Potter. ‘Remind me of your name, boy’

  ‘Smelly,’ said Thomas, and everyone collapsed in helpless laughter.

  ‘Don’t be cheeky,’ said Mr Potter. ‘You’re all going to have to do detention. And where on earth has Mr Majeika got to? It’s not like him to be as late as this.’

  5. Mr Majeika Says No

  Mr Majeika was walking hurriedly to school. He usually walked, although if it was a very sunny day he sometimes flew. He had first arrived at St Barty’s School on a magic carpet. But, as a very experienced wizard, he didn’t need a carpet to fly on. It was just a more comfortable way of travelling long distances.

  When he flew to school, he was usually careful to make himself invisible, just in case he ran into – or flew into - anyone who might recognize him. Often, he flew invisibly along a crowded shopping street. But, of course, no one could see him, so they had no idea that one of their children’s teachers was zooming along the street, just above their heads.

  Once or twice, Mr Majeika had forgotten to make himself invisible, and he had flown into Mr Potter. But the head teacher never seemed to notice if Mr Majeika did magic things. When Mr Majeika flew into him, Mr Potter just said: ‘Now, Majeika, you really must look where you’re going.’

  I should perhaps explain to you that, although Mr Majeika wasn’t supposed to do any magic now that he had become a teacher, the same rule didn’t apply when he was at home and entirely by himself. When he knew no one could see him, he could certainly do magic without getting into trouble. And, in fact, he very often did.

  For example, Mr Majeika’s alarm clock was actually a magic clock, and it woke him up every morning by releasing a huge black crow, which flew up and down his bedroom, cawing loudly until he got out of bed.

  Mr Majeika cleaned his teeth with a magic toothbrush. Or rather, the toothbrush did the cleaning for him. When it saw him coming, it would jump up and down on the edge of the washbasin, and shout in a squeaky voice:

  ‘Don’t forget your teeth! Don’t forget your teeth!’ Then, it would squeeze the toothpaste from the tube and on to its bristles. All that Mr Majeika had to do was open his mouth. The brush did all the hard work.

  His clothes dressed him, his shoes tied neat little bows with their laces, and his front-door key turned itself in the lock, so that burglars couldn’t get in. Then his hat and coat – not his pointed wizard’s hat – put themselves on him, and off he walked, or flew, to school.

  He was very careful that nobody ever saw these strange goings-on.

  But this morning, Mr Majeika wasn’t flying to school, and when Billy Balance came looking for him, he saw Mr Majeika walking through the streets like any ordinary person.

  ‘Hello, Mr Magician!’ Billy called, and at first Mr Majeika paid no attention. Ever since the circus performance, he had been worried that Billy Balance would come looking for him like this, to ask about the magic that Mr Majeika had used to rescue him. Mr Majeika didn’t want to admit to Billy that there had been some magic. He was certainly disobeying orders by doing magic in such a public place as the circus, with hundreds of people sitting in the audience and watching. But he had felt sorry for Billy.

  ‘Hello, Mr Magician!’ called Billy again.

  ‘Hello, Billy,’ said Mr Majeika. ‘But, sshh!’ he warned. ‘I’m not supposed to do anything magical. I’m glad that I was able to help you, but please don’t expect me to do it again. And now I really must go to teach my class at school.’

  Billy looked miserable. ‘But you saved my life,’ he said. ‘Or at least you saved me from losing my job at the circus, which is almost the same thing.’

  ‘Does the circus mean that much to you?’ Mr Majeika asked.

  ‘You bet it does,’ said Billy Balance. ‘It’s the most exciting place in the whole world.’

  ‘It must be very hard work,’ said Mr Majeika.

  Billy nodded. ‘Yes, it is,’ he said, ‘but it’s also like being on holiday all year! I’ll try to explain.

  ‘Every year,’ Billy went on, ‘you’re on the road, travelling from one end of the country to the other. Not just driving in a boring old motor car, oh no! You’re riding in a lovely old-fashioned, hand-painted showman’s caravan, pulled by a magnificent horse.

  ‘Sometimes you come to a new town or village at night, and when the morning sun comes up, you see this new place for the first time.

  ‘After that, everybody joins in the enormous job of putting up the tent – the Big To
p. We lay it out on the grass, and Mr Tottle calls out orders. Slowly, very slowly, but steadily, the Big Top rises from the ground, like a big striped castle, with flags of all colours flying on the top of it.

  ‘The circus has come to town! We march through the streets, playing musical instruments, to make sure that everyone who lives there knows that we’ve arrived.

  ‘And then it’s time for the show to begin! When the music starts, you feel a thrill that’s like nothing on earth – a funny mixture of nerves and excitement, and you can hardly wait till your own act begins. Suddenly you’re out there, a great roar comes out from the audience, and you feel happier and more proud than you ever felt in your life.

  ‘After a day or two, it’s time to move on again. Part of you is sad to be leaving a place where you’ve been happy, and the people are friendly, but another part of you is excited at moving on and seeing somewhere new.

  ‘It’s a wonderful life, the circus!’

  ‘It sounds it,’ said Mr Majeika, sighing a little.

  ‘So why don’t you come and join us, Mr Magician?’ asked Billy.

  ‘Join you?’

  ‘Yes,’ said Billy. ‘I need your help, to make my act work. You helped me by doing something magical. I need that help every time I get up on the rope. If you joined the circus, you could give me your magical help every day. And of course you could do your own act as well.’

  ‘My own act?’ asked Mr Majeika.

  ‘Yes,’ said Billy. ‘A magical conjuring act. You could make people in the audience disappear. Whatever you liked. Haven’t you ever wanted to join a circus?’

  ‘I’d never thought of it till now,’ said Mr Majeika. ‘But I can’t. I need to look after the children in my class.’

  ‘They can find another teacher,’ said Billy Balance. ‘Everyone wants to run away and join the circus.’

  Mr Majeika sighed again. ‘I’m sorry, but no,’ he said.

  Billy Balance looked as if he were going to cry. ‘How am I to do my act if you won’t help me?’ he asked.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ said Mr Majeika again, ‘but I’m already very late for school. I’m sure if you practised hard, you could get really good at your act again. And now I must say goodbye.’

  Billy Balance watched him go. Then he sat down gloomily on a bench, with his head in his hands.

  ‘Having a spot of trouble, are we?’ said a nasty-sounding voice. Billy looked up.

  ‘What are you doing here, Rubber Face?’ he asked.

  Rubber Face was a very strange person indeed. As his name suggested, his face seemed to be made of rubber, and he could make himself look exactly like anyone that he chose – from the Queen to a famous pop singer or film star.

  Rubber Face often turned up at the circus, and did an act in which he kept changing his appearance. But for much of the time he wasn’t there. He would come and go without warning. The circus people found him very creepy.

  ‘Never you mind what I’m doing here,’ said Rubber Face. ‘I see you have made friends with a certain wizard. Is he going to join the circus?’

  ‘No he isn’t,’ said Billy Balance. ‘He wants to stay as a teacher.’

  ‘We’ll see about that,’ said Rubber Face. And, as he spoke, his face began to change, until he looked exactly like Jody ‘We’ll see about that,’ he repeated, and set off down the road, to catch up with Mr Majeika.

  6. Two Jodys?

  Jody had run away to join the circus.

  Of course, sensible people like Jody don’t run away without telling anyone. But as soon as Mr Potter told Class Three that they would all be given detention, she slipped out of the room before he noticed. The circus was very near her home, so she decided to spend the morning there, and then go home before anyone had realized that she was missing from school.

  At least, that was what she was telling herself. In fact she hoped that the circus people would invite her to join them. Maybe she could look after the horses, or even take part in one of the equestrian acts. She knew that she would have to practise for a very long time to learn all the circus skills, but she was ready for some hard work.

  If she succeeded she would be dressed in a lovely spangled jacket, and a glittering top hat, and she would stand on one leg on the horse’s back, and canter round the ring while the band played thrilling music. And then, when the performance was over, she would help to pack up the Big Top, and travel on with the circus to its next town or village. She couldn’t wait!

  She was walking down the street on her way to the circus when suddenly she saw Mr Majeika coming towards her. Her first idea was to turn round and walk quickly in the opposite direction, in the hope that he wouldn’t see her. Then she thought that this would be dishonest. And she had just made up her mind to tell Mr Majeika what had happened – that Mr Potter had given Class Three detention, and she had decided to go off and join the circus – when something very strange happened.

  She saw herself walking up to Mr Majeika, and saying hello to him.

  Jody could see at once that it was herself. Or rather, she could see that it was somebody who looked exactly like her. The clothes weren’t hers, but the face of this new Jody was exactly the face that the real Jody saw in the mirror every morning when she brushed her hair.

  She was furious! Who dared to go around pretending to be her? On the other hand it was very clever. She decided to hide in a shop doorway so that she could hear what they were saying.

  ‘Hello, Jody,’ said Mr Majeika. ‘What are you doing out of school?’

  ‘I’m sorry, Mr Majeika,’ said the Pretend Jody – and the voice was exactly like her own. ‘You see, we had a message sent to school saying that Billy Balance has had an accident at the circus, and they need your magic powers to make him better. I’ve been sent to find you and to tell you to come to the circus right away,’

  ‘But I was talking to Billy just a moment ago,’ said Mr Majeika, looking very puzzled. ‘He seemed fine, and he didn’t say anything about an accident.’

  ‘Well, that’s what I was told,’ said the Pretend Jody. ‘And I think you really ought to go to the circus and see for yourself.’

  ‘All right,’ said Mr Majeika. ‘But who is going to look after Class Three?’

  ‘We’ll be all right,’ said the Pretend Jody. ‘Mr Potter has told us that we should practise our circus acts in PE. We are all going to try and have a go on the trapeze.’

  Mr Majeika thought for a moment. ‘I don’t feel very happy about you doing that,’ he said. ‘You might have an accident too.’

  ‘Oh no, we won’t,’ said the Pretend Jody. ‘We’ll be very careful.’

  Mr Majeika thought again. ‘All right,’ he said. ‘But I’ll give you a spell to help you when you practise, and promise me you won’t get up on to the trapeze until you are sure it’s working. It’s a simple flying rhyme – you just say:

  Those magnificent folk on the flying trapeze,

  They fly through the air with the greatest of ease.

  Never ask how, and never ask why,

  But believe in yourself – you’ll be able to fly.

  That should work very well,’ said Mr Majeika. ‘Go back and try it with everyone else. And I must hurry off to the circus to see what’s the matter with poor Billy.’

  The real Jody waited while he walked off in the direction of the circus – and the Pretend Jody simply vanished!

  Jody thought about following Mr Majeika to see that he wasn’t being led into a trap, but she decided that he could always use his magic if he got into a sticky situation. And the thought of using Mr Majeika’s spell to practise her own circus act was far too exciting!

  So she ran back to the school and went into the classroom. The first person she saw there was Thomas.

  ‘We thought you had run away,’ said Thomas.

  ‘I did mean to,’ said Jody. ‘But I’ve come back because I saw Mr Majeika, and someone is pretending to be me. It’s all very odd. But I also know that Mr Majeika has sent us a spell t
o help us do circus acts. It might make us just like Billy Balance. Shall we try it?’

  ‘Of course,’ said Pete. ‘We’ll try it right away.’

  And all of Class Three stood in a circle, holding hands. Jody chanted the spell, and then the others chanted it too:

  ‘Those magnificent folk on the flying trapeze,

  They fly through the air with the greatest of ease.

  Never ask how, and never ask why,

  But believe in yourself – you’ll be able to fly.’

  ‘Now,’ said Jody, let’s see if it works.’

  7. Circus Magic

  Mr Majeika had been tricked.

  He sat unhappily in Billy Balance’s caravan, staring gloomily out of the window. He wanted to get back to school, to see how Class Three were getting on with the spell. He was worried about leaving them with only Mr Potter in charge. But he couldn’t escape. He got up and rattled the door handle. The door was locked. He tried the window. It wouldn’t open. He was a prisoner.

  When he had got to the circus, Billy -of course – was perfectly all right. Nobody could explain why Mr Majeika had been given that message, but as he was now here, Billy persuaded Mr Majeika to sit in one of the seats in the empty Big Top, and try out his magic.

  Billy climbed up the ladder to the slack rope, and stepped gingerly on to it. ‘Now!’ he called to Mr Majeika. ‘Do your magic now!’

  Mr Majeika tried. He tried very, very hard. But no magic would come.

  ‘It’s not working!’ shouted Billy. ‘Try harder!’

  Mr Majeika tried as hard as he could. He muttered the words of the spell that had saved Billy at the circus performance, but all his magic powers had somehow disappeared. The spell wouldn’t work. Billy wobbled and fell.

  Billy grabbed the slack rope as he fell past it, and held on tight, dangling by his arms. Then he managed to get himself to the ladder, and come down safely.