Liz was astonished. “You’re kidding. Don’t you have to conduct interviews or something like that?”
McCafferty waved his hand, “I’m a fucking loon, remember? I do as I damn well please and I want to have you on my team. Listen, you work with me for a year or two until I retire and I guarantee you can write your own ticket. I know, I know, most lawyers look at this as entry-level and it is. But, you’re going nowhere with Dennis, he’s not paying you anywhere near what he should – I know, I checked and he’s exploiting you. I’d be exploiting you, too, but at much better pay, you’d be more visible as my clerk and actually laying the foundation for a good career instead of a dead-end job covering Danny Boy’s hairy white ass for a wage that’s downright insulting. What do you say?”
Liz blinked. “I’d need to think about it. Judge, to be honest, I’m really not all that fond of practicing law.”
McCafferty was not dissuaded. “How about teaching? Think you could train the up-and-comers to do it right? You’d still be in the catbird seat if you come with me.” He patted her shoulder. “Think about it, Lass. You’d get to do the parts of the law you enjoy, leave the dirty work to me and you’d have fun on the job. One more thing,” he pointed upwards. Liz followed the line of his finger and saw the mistletoe. McCafferty gave her a quick peck on the cheek. He leaned back, “You look lovely tonight, Elizabeth. I hope that man’s got the eyes to see it.” And he left.
Liz stood still for a moment and absorbed what had just happened. Instead of the door-to-door begging she had done to secure the crappy position she had, someone in a position of power and influence had just offered Liz a golden opportunity. The thought crossed her mind that maybe she ought to buy a lottery ticket.
Liz made her way back towards the bandstand only to be intercepted by excited and agitated committee members.
“Liz,” Larry began, “we’ve got a problem.” Liz felt cold dread clutch her stomach.
“What kind of problem? Is the auctioneer here?”
“Yeah,” said Jack, “all set, warmed up and ready to go. It’s the emcees.”
“What about the emcees? Didn’t they make it?” Liz asked warily.
Larry had been upset before, but now, “They’re here, all right, but they’re puking their guts out in the men’s room.”
“Bad sushi,” Jack added.
Liz closed her eyes. “Oh, God. Where are we gonna get someone else? The auction’s supposed to start in five minutes. One of you guys’ll have to do it.”
Larry turned grayish-white, “Liz, you’re joking. Just the idea has me ready to go into the men’s room and join the hurling.” Liz looked at Jack, who shook his head. “No way, Liz, I’m not good at thinking on my feet.”
“Jack, you’re a trial attorney and you can’t think on your
feet? How do your clients feel about that?” She was amazed at the cowardice. Nevertheless, Jack was adamant. “I’ll stutter. You do it, Liz.”
Liz was even more amazed. “Me? I wasn’t planning on attending until a few weeks ago.” The cold dread got colder. “No, no, a thousand times no.”
“You can do it,” said a familiar deep voice behind her.
Liz spun at hearing Ty, startled. “What?”
He smiled. “I said, ‘you can do it.’ Hell,” he sipped from the glass in his hand. “You just smile and flash those baby blues of yours and all those hard hearted shysters will be eating out of your hand.”
“Not after they watch me throw up on stage,” Liz retorted. She shook her head. “I can’t. I don’t want to. Please, find someone else and leave me alone.”
She started to turn back when he spoke again.
“I’ll go up there with you.”
“What?”
Ty repeated his offer with Jack and Larry adding their encouragement. “C’mon, Liz. You can do this.” “Look, we really need you right now.” “Seriously, Liz, you’ve gotta get up there.”
It took a few minutes, but they wore her down and Liz finally agreed to go onstage with Ty.
She looked at Ty as he downed the last of his drink and handed off the glass. “You give me your hand and we’ll do this thing together. Okay? Trust me.” He took her arm. She felt the charge from the touch of his skin to hers, so powerful her knees almost buckled.
Liz gulped and nodded. “I guess so.”
“Right.” And he led her onto the stage.
Ty laughed and Liz relaxed somewhat. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad after all.
They met with the auctioneer and reviewed the procedures for conducting the auction. The guests of the Ball began to move from the various corners of the room to the area in front of the bandstand. While discussing logistics with the auctioneer, Liz watched the throng out of the corner of her eye. It looked like the entire population of Boston was in the room. Larry handed Liz a packet of cards with lot numbers and descriptions of offered items. As she glanced through them, Larry whispered, “Thanks for doing this, Liz. You’ll be fine.” Liz fought the wave of panic that hit her.
She paused in her reading just long enough to give him a dirty look to go with, “Payback is a bitch, Larry. How are the AMbeciles?” She held out faint hope that they’d recovered.
He shook his head, “Still in the men’s room and still sick as hell.”
Ty put his arm around Liz and gave her a squeeze. “We don’t need them,” he said, “We can handle this, right, Counselor?” Liz didn’t even look at him as she said, “From your mouth to God’s ear, Counselor.”
Since Liz wasn’t looking at Ty, she felt instead of saw him brush his lips against her cheek and put his mouth near her ear to whisper, “Lighten up, Elizabeth. You’re not facing a firing squad and I know you can do this. If you lose your nerve you lose the game, remember?” He kissed her cheek, softly and warmly, and said aloud, “For good luck. Ready?”
Liz had felt the first light kiss all the way to the soles of her feet. The second kiss had made itself felt in her stomach and heart. The arm around her shoulders was just a warm and friendly gesture, Liz told herself. She was fighting an urge to turn and wrap her arms around Ty and return his kiss.
“Okay, it’s time,” from the auctioneer.
Microphones were handed to Liz and Ty and they were on. Liz stepped forward and smiled at the faceless crowd. “Good evening and welcome to the 5th annual Barrister’s Ball and Auction.” This brought applause from the crowd and she was able to relax slightly.
“For those of you who were expecting the AMbeciles, we’re sorry but they’re under the weather…”
Ty jumped in, “…and probably in need of an attorney. Is there a personal injury lawyer in the house?” This got laughs. He continued, “For those of you who don’t know us, I’m Tyrone Hadley of Brooks, Washburn, Hadley and Dunn and my lovely colleague here,” There was thunderous applause, especially from the women present. He gestured to Liz, “Is Elizabeth Gardner of Lovell, Hoffman and Dennis.” This got even more applause. Liz picked up the patter, inspired. She turned to Ty.
“You know, Counselor,” she said, “This is where they’ve been holding the bar exam for the past few Julys.”
“That’s true,” Ty replied. He looked at her curiously, knowing she had a point, but unsure of what it was.
“Well, I noticed some folks out there pointing out where they’d sat to take the exam,” Liz continued, “Some of them were taking their friends to more than one spot, saying ‘Okay, I was here the first time and the second time…’” she imitated someone giving a tour of spots on the floor. The audience laughed. “I noticed one guy, however, who almost covered the entire floor, but, you made it finally, didn’t you?” She looked up and pretended to peer into the crowd for one particular face. Surprisingly, one man yelled back, “You’re damned skippy! Five times and I made it!” This was met with more laughter and applause for the determined lawyer. Ty was chuckling beside her. Liz turned to him and he picked up the cue, reading from a card.
“The proceeds from tonight’s sale w
ill be going to the Bay State Breast Cancer Foundation. One in eight women will be diagnosed with this disease and the rate is increasing. Please bid high and bid often.” The applause was louder. Liz exhaled slowly. This wasn’t going to be so bad, after all. Then she heard the shouts.
“Hey, if this is for breast cancer, we want to see boobs! Show us your boobs!” came the drunken voices from the back of the crowd. Liz recognized one of them as Jimmy, the young lawyer from Ty’s office. Ty started to say something but Liz cut him off.
“You want to see boobs, I’ll get you boys a mirror,” she retorted. This got appreciative laughter, applause and whistles from the rest of the crowd. The hecklers fell silent but Liz heard “Bitch” come from the back of the room. It was a female voice.
“Atta Girl. Don’t mind Jimmy, he’s loaded.” Ty said in her ear. She felt him inhale deeply. She also smelled the Scotch on his breath. “You’re wearing that great perfume again.” His nearness was overpowering.
“Okay, Lot #1,” Liz read from her card, voice shaking, “Donated by Cetaceans Unlimited of Gloucester, is a whale watch for four out of historic Gloucester Harbor. Let the stars of Stellwaggen Bank put on a show for you,” Liz looked up from the card, “Bid high enough and they’ll throw in the Dramamine.” More laughter. And the auction was underway.
For the next two hours, Liz and Ty introduced items for sale, usually with some quip or joke to go with the item. Judge McCafferty, who had positioned himself near the foot of the stage, added to his donation at the last minute. He had originally given a trip for four, joining him in his box seats, for a Boston Red Sox home game against the New York Yankees. When Liz was announcing the package, McCafferty motioned Ty over and handed him an envelope. Ty grinned as he read what it contained.
“If the highest bid on this package goes over $2,500, His Honor, Judge Frank McCafferty, will include a free pass good to excuse the bearer from one contempt charge in his courtroom.” This was met with enormous laughter and the Judge looked pleased. The lot went for $5,000 to a young lawyer who blurted, “I hope to God I don’t need this” and Judge McCafferty said, “You will, Son, you will.” The audience laughed and applauded.
Ty introduced the next item. “Lot Number 24, donated by Elizabeth Gardner,” he looked at Liz who nodded, “is a tiramisu made by Attorney Gardner,” here he looked at Liz again, “with her own two lovely hands.” Ty picked up Liz’s hand and kissed it. Photo flashes went off, capturing the moment. The audience whistled and hooted its approval. Ty kissed her hand again. Liz was too startled to do anything but smile.
Liz expected the tiramisu to fetch somewhere around $40 or $50, the usual. Liz stood back, expecting a brief round of bidding. Someone handed her a glass of water and she sipped while she waited.
As expected, the bidding started at $25 from someone Liz didn’t know. Joey advanced the bid to $40.
“$100,” said Ty in a firm voice. Liz almost choked on her water.
“Hey! You can’t bid!” Joey protested. He glanced at Liz, who shrugged and looked bewildered.
Ty looked at him coolly. “I’m not the auctioneer, so yes I can.”
“Guys, don’t do this, please,” she pleaded. Joe ignored her.
“$125,” he said. He and the other members of Liz’s gang had clearly banded together to ward off this interloper. She could see them discussing strategy.
“$150,” from Frank McCafferty. There was a murmur from the non-bidding members of the audience. McCafferty’s face said he was up to something, although exactly what, Liz wasn’t sure.
“$250,” answered Ty. “It’s worth far more than that.”
“$300,” from Joe.
“$400,” from McCafferty. Liz could hear gasps in the audience.
“$450,” from Joe with the approval of his cohorts.
“$500,” Ty announced. Liz and the auctioneer looked to Joe, who shook his head, but, Liz noted, he looked pleased with himself instead of disappointed at losing the bidding. McCafferty, too, shook his head with a smile. “Going once, going twice.” No challenges. The auctioneer brought down his gavel with a crash, “Sold to the gentleman for $500. Congratulations, Sir.”
The remainder of the auction was a blur as Liz kept asking herself why Ty had done it.
One item came up that Liz had wanted for herself since the donation was made. One dozen roses per week for a year. Following Ty’s lead, she made a bid on it, but the item quickly went over her range to someone who had made arrangements for bidding by proxy. She applauded with the rest of the crowd and caught an odd look from Ty as she smiled.
Getaway weekends were sold and sports memorabilia. Corey’s donation of a homemade sushi dinner for two caused the AMbeciles, who had managed to recover enough to watch the auction, to run back to the men’s room at top speed, with an attorney in pursuit.
Without so much as a flicker of guilt, Dan Dennis bought Sal Randazzo’s golf clubs. The Bad News Barristers pitcher won Millie’s pitching lessons (“Good job!” yelled Ty, “Maybe we’ll actually win next year.” ). As expected, the Aerosmith album cover went for thousands of dollars.
There was only one small sour note as the auction wound down. The last lot was a getaway weekend for two to a romantic Cape Cod hotel. The Silicone Queen had managed to work her way to the foot of the stage and had mouthed “get it for us” at Ty. Liz couldn’t tell if he had noticed. The bidding was spirited, particularly among the men surrounding her, but Ty remained silent. Liz saw the rage building on the Silicone Queen’s face until the auctioneer’s gavel fell and Ty had not bid at all. She looked at Liz who noticed how ugly the Silicone Queen’s face became when it reflected a nasty mood. Liz saw the woman mouth one word at her. “Bitch.” Liz turned her attention to a tally sheet handed to her by one of the runners. She smiled and turned back to the audience.
“Ladies and gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure to announce that, due to your generosity tonight, we have raised $75,000 for the Bay State Breast Cancer Foundation. Thank you, thank you and thank you.” The applause was thunderous. Ty held up his hand.
“In a few minutes, we’ll begin dancing. Until then, the bar’s open.” There was more applause and the crowd began to disperse to the food and drink stations.
Liz gratefully handed her microphone over to the auctioneer. “Thank God that’s over.” She felt a warm hand on her shoulder and knew it was Ty’s. She turned to look at him. He was smiling at her and gently rubbing her shoulder. There was an affectionate warmth in his eyes as he looked her over. The pleasure of his touch went far beyond the kindness of it.
“See, I knew you could do it, Liz,” he said. Before she could ask him why he had bought her tiramisu, Millie called to Liz. Reluctantly, Liz stepped away from the caressing hand. She offered her hand to him.
“Thank you so much for backing me up. Truly, I don’t know if I could have done it without your help.” Ty took her hand, but instead of shaking it, he lifted it to his lips and kissed it. On the stage, she’d been too distracted by the auction, but now, Liz had a hard time controlling her breathing.
“My pleasure,” he said, “By the way, Counselor, I meant to tell you, you look incredible tonight.” He kissed her hand again. “Is your dance card full or could you fit me in somewhere? I really want to talk to you.” His eyes were focused on her face and there was an intensity to his expression that Liz found both exciting and unsettling. He raised her hand back to his lips and said, “Please” against it, the word causing him to kiss it again. Liz’s heart nearly stopped.
“Of course,” Liz was surprised to hear how husky her voice sounded. Her heart was hammering and she could feel the blood rising to her cheeks. She gently pulled her hand away from Ty. “I really need to freshen up right now, but I promise I’ll come back.”
As she stepped away to join Millie, Liz heard Ty say, “The last dance is mine.” The two women made their way to the ladies’ room, their progress slowed by people wanting to congratulate Liz on a successful auction. Luckily, th
is had the happy effect of delaying their entry into the ladies’ room until after most of the crowd had left it.
“What was all that about?” Millie asked Liz. She handed Liz the purse she’d been holding for her. Liz was about to answer when they heard a loud sniffing sound coming from the handicapped access stall. This was followed by two more. Liz looked at Millie who held a finger to her lips. They remained silent and eavesdropped.
“Do you believe that bitch?” came the voice of the Silicone Queen. “That fat cow gets him onstage with her, he buys her shit, he won’t even look at me. I mean, what the fuck?” The snorting continued. “That is my man and she’s trying to steal him.”
Another voice piped up from the stall. “I know, what’s she got that you don’t?”
“Wrinkles,” someone said. They all giggled.
“I see her again, I’m gonna totally beat her ass,” said the Silicone Queen. “I’m tired of her fucking with me.” More sniffing. “This is really good shit. Jimmy gets totally awesome blow.” The other girls murmured agreement.
Liz had turned and started to leave as the stall door burst open. The Silicone Queen and her friends quickly blocked her exit. Liz had a sudden flashback to a darkened high school hallway. Somewhere, deep down, she found courage for the confrontation. Best defense, she thought.
“So, you’re going to beat my ass. Here?” She asked. “Your name is…” she groped for it, “Cheryl? I’m Elizabeth.” Liz held out her hand.
The Silicone Queen took a step forward and slapped away Liz’s proffered hand. Liz could see how raw the underside of the other woman’s nose was and how her heavy makeup was beginning to smear. Liz felt Millie step in behind her.
Cheryl pushed Liz, who was stopped from falling by Millie. “I don’t give a shit what your name is,” she hissed. “That is my man and you just keep your fat ass away from him or I will fuck you up. He’s mine, got it?”
“That’s not what he told me.” Liz heard her own voice but it was as if someone else had spoken. Even Millie blinked.
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