These Foolish Things

by Thatcher, Susan

  Liz still blocked the front door as she came and went, only to remember that Beanie wouldn’t try to escape ever again. She needed him now, needed his playfulness and affection to ease her heartache. His absence was part of her heartache and a part that made it even more painful.

  She couldn’t remember the last time she’d eaten a square meal. Since she’d left Wellesley, Liz had existed in a gray twilight of anxiety and depression. She went in early to the office, stayed late, politely declined to join the other clerks for Friday afternoon drinks or socializing. She sleepwalked through life.

  Millie and John’s wedding had been beautiful. The only awkward moment had come during the bouquet toss. Liz had been pushed onto the floor by well-meaning friends, intending to just stand there and applaud. Liz had caught the spray of lilies and roses when she’d put up her hands to protect her face. Millie and Liz had exchanged a long look as Liz handed the flowers to Millie’s 8 year old niece and excused herself. She’d had to run outside to compose herself. Maybe it was too soon or maybe it ran too deep, but instead of subsiding, the pain and grief increased.

  A split second before she opened the door, Liz took a deep breath to gain composure and to mentally utter a curse on whomever was interrupting her work. Big, pleasant smile plastered on her face (she hoped), Liz opened the door. What she saw caused the smile to disappear.

  It was Ty.

  Liz just stood and stared. Tyrone, her Tyrone, stood on the front step tanned, bearded and holding a kitten.

  He had a homemade sign around his neck that read “In Need of a Good Home (Both of Us).”

  “Can we come in?” he asked. Liz opened the door, still too stunned for words. At least, as Ty passed her, he didn’t try to kiss her, thank God. She couldn’t have handled it. Two months since she’d left him and not a word, no phone calls, letters, nothing. Now here he was, casual, relaxed, looking far better than he had the last time she’d seen him and as irresistible as ever.

  Liz, as usual, was at a disadvantage: sweaty, no makeup, wild hair, two months of bad sleep showing on her face and she was dressed in her house cleaning uniform of gym shorts and ratty T-shirt. Liz closed the door after Ty and braced herself. She wasn’t ready for this confrontation, not by a long shot. She had half-expected never to see him again and had been fighting to put him out of her mind.

  “Ty.”

  That was all she could manage. What do you say to a man you love desperately, but had to leave to save yourself?

  “Liz.” The tone was casual enough, even mocking hers slightly, but Ty was watching her face closely. Liz knew that look. Keen observation carefully hidden behind a casual exterior. His litigator’s face. Apparently, though, some tension in his body was making its way into his hands. The kitten began to squeak and mew at being squeezed.

  Liz looked at him. “What’s that? The Trojan kitten?”

  Ty held the kitten out to Liz. “I’d like you to meet Norton.” Liz accepted Norton, who wrapped oversized paws around her hand and began licking her fingers, purring loudly. Just like Beanie. She had to bite back her angry tears.

  “He’s beautiful, Ty, but I don’t want…”

  “Fine. I have a huge scratching post that needs a cat.” Still the close examination. Liz couldn’t meet his gaze. She knew she’d throw herself into his arms and sob hysterically if he made one wrong move. Like smiling again. Or touching her.

  “Look, why don’t we let him go play while we talk?” Ty carefully took Norton from Liz’s hands and put him on the floor. Norton scampered upstairs to explore. Once he disappeared from sight, the uncomfortable silence returned.

  “You look good, Ty.” An understatement. Liz could feel the knot forming in her stomach. It was half dread and half an emotion she’d been trying to purge herself of over the past months. Control was going to be hard to maintain. “How’ve you been?”

  “Is that all you have to say?” he asked.

  Liz felt her temper begin to slip. “Look, I didn’t expect to see you today and I don’t have time to waste here, so why don’t you tell me what you want me to say, I’ll say it, you’ll leave and I’ll continue getting over you.” Liz surprised herself at the sharpness of her tone.

  “Okay,” Ty kept a casual tone. “I don’t remember everything that happened the last time we saw each other.”

  “Lucky you,” she retorted. “I’ve been reliving it. Where should I start? Beanie’s last hour of life or a blow by blow description of Jimmy trying to rape me? I still have screaming nightmares.”

  That remark really got to him. She saw the pain cross his face.

  “My God, you’re determined not to give me an inch, aren’t you?” he asked.

  “I told you, you had the power to destroy me. And you did. I trusted you, I put my fears behind me because you promised you’d never hurt me, you’d always take care of me and protect me. If that was your idea of loving and caring, then I’m better off on my own. I have nothing to say to you. So if you don’t mind,” she started to lead him back to the door, “please gather up your kitten and go.”

  Ty stood his ground. He grabbed Liz’s arm and pulled her to stand close in front of him. His grip was steely, long fingers digging into her upper arm. Ty’s free hand went under Liz’s chin and forced it up so that she was looking into his eyes.

  “I do mind,” he said, softly, with an edge. “I’m not leaving until we’ve had this out. You’ve got plenty to say, I can see it in your eyes. And you’re going to hear me out. So let’s cut the bullshit and start talking.”

  “Okay, fine, sure, I’ll play,” She took on a sarcastically bright tone. “Ty! What a pleasant surprise! How nice of you to come by! How’s the hand you smashed into the wall? Oh, by the way, Ty, where the hell have you been for two months?”

  “Drying out.”

  The answer was quiet, matter of fact. The steely edge to his voice was gone. “I found a place that took me right after you left.”

  Liz knew Ty well enough to know the truth. She felt her rage subside somewhat, but…

  “You’ve got one hell of a tan. Where were you, Betty Ford at Club Med?”

  Ty’s gaze remained steadily on her face, still watching closely, but slightly relieved at provoking her. “I was in the Caribbean. Good place, not likely to run into a lot of people I knew and they had a bed available right away. It seemed like a good idea to put some distance between us for a while.”

  The words ripped into Liz’s heart. “You’d already done that by the time I moved out, Ty. We didn’t have a relationship anymore. Let’s just admit we made a huge mistake, apologize and end it.”

  “No.”

  Ty grasped Liz’s wrist gently, but firmly. He started towards the nearest chair from the dining room, but Liz resisted being pulled. Without a word, Ty scooped her up and continued for the chair. In the process of seating himself, his grip loosened and Liz managed to get free and stand up. Again, silently, he grasped her wrist and successfully pulled her into his lap, facing him. Liz found herself straddling Ty, her bare legs dangling over his, his hands resting in the small of her back. She knew better than to try to break free again. Something in the back of her mind noted that he was still wearing the “In Need of a Good Home” sign around his neck.

  Moving one hand to the back of her neck, Ty gently but firmly bent Liz’s head closer to his and softly, slowly kissed her forehead, lingering over it, murmuring, “My God, I’ve missed this.” She closed her eyes, reveling once again in the warmth of him, the sensual pleasure of his lips on her skin, the joy his kisses always brought, the unfamiliar sensation of his beard against her skin and the love she had for this man, no matter what. Ty fished in his shirt pocket and handed something to Liz. “Here.”

  Liz looked at the plastic disk in her hand. “What is it?”

  “It’s an Alcoholics Anonymous first day disk.” Ty cupped her face, stroking her cheek with his thumb. “I got it the day after you left. That card that Joe gave me was the Bar Association Crisis Hotlin
e. I got on the phone and they got me into rehab. You said I was killing myself and you were right.”

  Liz turned over the disk in her hand, looking at the printing. “So you came to apologize? Okay, you’ve apologized. I forgive you. Please leave.” She tried to get out of Ty’s lap again, but he tightened his grip.

  “I’ll leave, Elizabeth, if you can look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t want me anymore. If you can do that, I’ll go and never bother you again,” he spoke softly. “Can you do it? Can you honestly say you don’t want me?”

  Liz looked him in the eye. “I can’t,” she whispered.

  “I may not remember much from the last time I saw you,” he said, “but I do remember you telling me you wanted something. Well, I brought it to you today.”

  “What’s that?” she whispered.

  “The man who loves you,” he said, emotion beginning to choke him, “and who desperately wants you to love him again.” He began to shake as he said it. “You called me the handsome prince once, but I’m the one in distress. You are my rescuer and I don’t want the story to end without winning you back.”

  Elizabeth Gardner, for the first time in two months, wrapped her arms around the love of her life, Tyrone Hadley. She was shaking, too. Liz buried her face in Ty’s shoulder, feeling the texture of his shirt and the muscles underneath as they moved his arms to hold her close. She could smell the fabric softener he’d used. Ty’s skin had the aroma of soap clinging to it from a recent shower, the sexiest fragrance on Earth. Liz inhaled and clung even tighter.

  “Are you really here?” Liz dreaded the answer. If this was a dream, she couldn’t stand the disappointment.

  Ty’s arms tightened to the point where Liz had trouble breathing. He moved his lips closer to her ear. “Swear to God, Babe. It’s really me. I’ve missed you so.” He buried his face in her neck again. Liz could feel the sensation all the way down her spine. His words were muffled against her shirt.

  “I wanted you badly, but my sponsor told me to wait; I wasn’t ready and you probably weren’t, either. It was like a knife in my gut. I don’t know how many times I picked up the phone to call anyway, but I was so afraid you didn’t want me anymore, I just chickened out. I’m still afraid.” Ty lifted his head and Liz could see the fear, something she’d never seen in his eyes.

  His voice was a hoarse whisper. “I only want you to be happy, Liz and I know I should only want you to be with the right man, but Liz,” here, his voice dropped so low, she almost couldn’t hear him. “I’d give half my life to be that man. I’ll do whatever it takes to make you love and trust me again. I don’t want to go on without you. Please don’t throw me out, Darling.”

  He put his lips to Liz’s and said,” Please.”

  Liz couldn’t hold out any longer. She returned the stealthy kiss with all the love she felt. And then, she began to really cry. Ty gently guided her head back to his shoulder, stroking her hair as he would a child.

  Ty kissed her cheek again and Liz could feel tears on his face. She tightened her arms around him to comfort him and they held each other as if the intertwined circle of their arms could banish the bad memories and the pain they brought.

  At length, Ty kissed Liz again, gently, softly, sweetly with a promise of greater things to come. His fingers found the spot on the nape of her neck that could send shivers all the way down to her toes and he deepened the kiss until Liz clung tighter to him because her senses were too overloaded for her to sit up by herself. Ty stopped kissing her long enough to speak. He was breathing hard and his eyes were soft and dark as they looked into Liz’s.

  “Liz, Honey, may I take you to bed?” He stroked her ear. “I need you, need to feel your warm, soft body under mine. Please?”

  Liz wanted exactly that but it was too fast. Her face was still wet with tears and some of them were from anger. There was something magic in his touch, but it wasn’t enough to erase all the pain with one kiss.

  Liz lifted the hem of her shirt to brush the tears from Ty’s face. Ty’s body tensed up as his eyes searched her face. She gently removed the sign from his neck and smiled at it. Holding the sign with one hand, Liz touched his beard with her free hand. “Furry face and a hard luck story.”

  Ty nodded, smiling, but he watched her closely.

  “You were paying attention,” she said as she put the sign on the table behind them.

  “I always did,” he answered.

  “No,” she said quietly, “that’s not completely true. The past few months, we weren’t even on the same planet. I couldn’t take it.”

  Liz could feel the tension returning to his hands. How well he knew her. She looked into his eyes and gently laid her hands on his shoulders.

  “I love you, Ty. But, Darling, I’m not ready to go back to where we were. We were two fools who rushed in where angels feared to tread and it cost us.”

  Here, she felt Ty pulling her close again, trying to comfort her. Against the wishes of her body, she resisted.

  Liz smiled sadly, “I know you’re the one man I could spend the rest of my life with. And you know it, too. But you took me for granted. We didn’t share a home. I occupied space in your house and bed. I deserve better.” Ty opened his mouth to protest and Liz gently closed it with her fingertips. “I felt like my presence was more for your convenience than for closeness. I wanted to be there to love you, to help you through good and bad, but you pulled away from me and hid yourself in your office or in a bottle of Scotch. Beanie’s death was the last straw. I can’t go back to living like that. Especially with you. I want to be more important to you than that.”

  Ty kept one arm around Liz and covered her hand with his. Closing his eyes, Ty began kissing Liz’s hand, starting with her fingertips and lingering over her palm. Liz hardly breathed. He finished with a long, lingering kiss on her inner wrist. Guiding her arm around his neck, Ty gently pulled Liz close, molding her body to his. This time, she didn’t resist. He nestled his cheek against her hair and began to stroke her back. Liz could feel herself relax. They sat like this for a minute or two, then Ty spoke.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t know what I was doing. I knew I wanted you in my life, but I forgot to make room for you. You’re right. You were right when you said I thought you’d melt when you saw me this morning. You were right when you said I took your love for granted,” here she could feel him laugh a little, “even after I’d had to work so hard to get it.” Liz felt him rub his cheek against her forehead. “Hell, you were even right to leave me when you did.”

  Ty sat Liz back up and held her by the shoulders. Again, his eyes locked with hers as he spoke softly, but firmly, “But I get to be right, too. Coming here today was the right thing for me to do and you know it. We belong together, Liz. I know this without question. Do you remember when I told you that we’d have no idea what was coming, that you’d have to trust me?”

  Liz nodded. Ty kissed her forehead. “Okay. Anytime things get sticky for you, Liz, you run. When it’s fight or flight, Liz chooses flight. And I keep running after you. You know why?” Liz didn’t answer. Ty stroked a finger across her lips, “This,” he said very softly, “The two of us is worth fighting for.” He lightly kissed her lips and whispered, “I don’t care who I have to take on. You got away but that was temporary. I’m back in the game. I’ve had two months of missing you and that was more than enough. I’ve found the love of my life and she’s not getting away from me again. I’ll get on my knees and beg, if you want, Liz. I love you that much.” Ty’s voice dropped into a deep, dark whisper, “You said you still love me. Enough to try again?”

  Liz didn’t say anything. Ty tried another tack. “Look, I’m on a serious losing streak with you. Softball game, court case, contempt charge; if word gets out, I’m gonna start losing clients. Throw me a bone, Liz, let me win once in a while. It’s a guy thing.”

  Despite herself, Liz giggled for the first time in months.

  Ty kissed her forehead again. “All hope is not lost if I can m
ake you laugh. Will you take me back?” He leaned his forehead against hers. “Name your terms, Counselor.”

  Liz leaned forward and kissed Ty, slowly reacquainting herself with that particular pleasure. Ty let her take charge of the moment. Liz leaned back and said huskily, “I guess you still want me.”

  With a wicked grin, Ty grabbed her backside and pulled her as tightly as he could against himself. She could feel his erection. “What do you think?”

  Liz was blushing softly. She leaned into his embrace, savoring the sensual warmth of him and his arms tightening around her, feeling more at home and relaxed than she had since she’d last seen him.

  She felt and heard Ty sniffing her neck. “Mmmm. Who’d have thought Lysol could be such a turn-on?” she heard him murmur.

  Lysol. “As much as I want to make love to you right now, Ty, my love, I have to finish cleaning the house since I no longer have a housekeeper.” Liz tried to sit up and remove herself from his lap. He held her in place.

  “It’s spotless. I bet you’ve been up since about 5 this morning cleaning it. Am I right?” Liz nodded. Ty continued, “In that case, I think you’d better get back to bed for a while and,” he paused to kiss her again, “I’m coming with you.” He emphasized the “coming.”

  Liz raised her eyebrows. “Are you inviting yourself into my bed?”

  “Into your bed, your house, your arms, your heart, your dreams, anywhere I can be with you,” Ty replied. “Told you I wasn’t letting you go again.”

  “I haven’t said I’m taking you back,” Liz said teasingly. “Yes, you are,” he countered, “or you would have slammed the door in my face.”

  Liz bent her head and kissed him lightly. “Answer one question for me and then...”

  He returned the kiss. “What?”

  “How much did Corey overcharge you for Norton?”

  Ty looked innocent. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “Oh yeah? He’s a purebred Maine Coon Cat and Corey’s the only local breeder.” Liz turned her head and called, “Here, kitty, kitty.”