by J L Belcher
Max asks if she has any dreams to one day start her own business. Right now she knows she can’t think about that. When he asks why, all she could say is, I can’t just yet. Maybe one day.
After the kids eat their cake and Leo has opened his presents they run back into the back yard. Max pulls out a beer for himself and some pretty purple drink for Claire.
Claire is feeling more relaxed when she finishes her first drink.
She puts the rest of the pizzas in the oven before returning outside, leaning back in her chair and laughs at Max’s jokes and stories.
“Do you mind if I ask about Dillon’s mother?”
“Sure, I don’t mind. There were a few complications during Dillon’s birth. Jane had become quite sick over her last few days of pregnancy and the doctors had to rush her in for an emergency caesarean delivery.” Max glances out into the yard, watching his son playing and laughing with Claire’s boys.
“I’m sorry. We don’t need to talk about it.”
“It’s ok. I really don’t mind. It was seven years ago. We were engaged for four years and every time I suggested a date for our wedding, she’d put it off longer.”
Claire remains quiet and hung on every word Max was saying.
“The day I had taken Jane in for her regular thirty-three-week pregnancy check-up was the day I found out she was very sick with stage four stomach cancer.” He walks over to the handrail and takes in the fresh air. “She died within twenty-four hours of giving birth to Dillon. I was furious with her for not telling me. She knew… She had known for three years and didn’t say anything. Apparently, she had no plans on ever telling me.”
Claire stands beside him resting a hand on his forearm. The tears run freely down her face for this man in front of her and
his son.
“Max…” She takes his hand and leads him inside. Claire wipes the tear from his cheek.
“I’m ok. It’s just that I’ve never said those words out loud before. I’ve never really admitted that I was furious with her before, not even to myself.” Max stands, scraping the chair along the lino floor. “Come on, let get back out there… Thank you, Claire. Thanks for the talk. It feels good finally being able to get it off my chest.”
“You’re very welcome. I could see it was getting to you outside.”
The timer on the oven beeps with the last two pizzas ready. Max take the hot tray out of the oven then places the pizza on the plate.
The second they walk out onto the
patio, the kids come running for more food. She had to admit, they were the best pizzas she’s ever tasted. Which was saying something because she grew up in the city and had many, many pizzas.
Claire asks Max about being a small-town cop. Every time the conversation was turned toward her, she would ask him another question. She was determined, no matter what, she was going to keep her secret locked away.
Claire covers her mouth as she yawned. “I am so sorry. That was extremely rude of me.”
Max checks his watch. “It’s after nine o’clock, where did the time go? I should get Dillon home, and let you go to bed. It has been a long day.”
They both get up and Max carries his esky to his car while Claire grabs the bowls and plates. She asks him if he wants
to take some cake home.
“If it’s ok, I’d like to drop by tomorrow to see you and I’m sure Dillon would like to play with Leo and Kane again.”
“I think that would be fine,” she replies.
Max explains that he needs to work first thing in the morning, but he can come over around just after lunch.
“That’s fine. Thanks for coming to Leo’s birthday party today, and thanks for all the pizzas. You’re right, you do make a pretty mean pizza.”
Max gives Claire a cocky lopsided grin. “Told you so. So now I can call them famous.”
“Yeah, yeah,” she rolls her eyes and giggles.
Claire and her sons follow Max and Dillon out the front door and wave as they drive away.
Then Claire walks around, checking every door and window twice out of habit before she sends the boys to bed.
As she lays in her bed, she realises Max is breaking down her emotional wall. The wall she built the night her husband was murdered right in front of her eyes. The very night she built the walls around her family to keep them safe.
Missing the comfort of a warm body beside her, Claire rolls over onto her side and holds the spare pillow close to her chest before falling asleep.
Chapter 4
Claire wakes drenched in a sweat, shaking and sobbing. Kane comes into her room, climbs into her bed, without saying anything he just cuddles into her.
“Hey baby, what’s wrong?” she asks when she feels him convulse as he silently cries.
Even though he is only seven years old, he has taken it upon himself to be the man of the house. He’s been trying to be her rock. A young seven-year-old boy going on thirty.
“I’m sorry mummy,” he bursts out crying. “I hate you having those nightmares. I heard you crying out in your sleep again.”
“Oh baby, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you.” She pulls him into her chest and kisses the top of his head.
“I miss daddy too,” he sobs.
Hearing the hurt in his sweet innocent voice breaks her heart. “I know. It’s okay to miss your daddy. And it’s okay to cry. You know your dad still loves you. He still loves all of us.” She leans back a little so she can see his face, his trembling lips and tear-filled eyes. “Even though he isn’t here with us in person.” She places her hand over his heart. “He will always be in here.” She wipes his hair from his forehead, “and in here.”
“Can I please stay in here with you? I don’t wat to go back to my room.”
“Of course you can. Come here.” When she encloses his tiny body in her arms, it’s a reminder of just how young he is.
Claire looks at the clock on the bedside table and its only three fifty-five in the morning. She lays in bed with Kane curled up beside her.
She has decided sometime over the weekend, she’s going to ask Max to see if he and Dillon would like to join them for a picnic.
It breaks her heart knowing her children are missing out on a normal childhood. If this is what she needs to do to see Kane and Leo laughing and having fun while playing with their friend, well then that’s exactly what’s she is going to do.
* * * * * * * * * *
Finally the sun peeks through the curtains and Claire crawls carefully out of bed, not wanting to wake Kane just yet.
She checks in on Leo as she does every morning before she starts her day cleaning up.
She sends a quick message to Max, asking if he and Dillon would like to join them for a picnic lunch today.
Her phone pings with his reply before she even put the phone down.
‘ We would love to. Thank you. xx ’
Claire stares at the message from Max and giggles to herself.
Max realises what he has done. ‘What the hell was that?... xx?’ he mumbles to himself.
He drops his mobile phone on the kitchen table, hoping the ‘xx’ slips by her. He makes himself a cuppa coffee then sits at the dining table with his phone in front of him. He picks up his mobile, starts typing out a message, apologizing for the mishap. But instead, delete, delete, delete, and puts his mobile down again.
The minutes pass and the retraction for the invitation didn’t come, so maybe she didn’t notice.
Max grabs a bottle from the wine rack and places it in the fridge to chill. Knowing he shouldn’t turn up empty handed, he decides to make his favourite Vanilla Slice.
When Max calls out for Dillon to come for his breakfast. He tells him they are going for a picnic lunch with Claire, Kane and Leo.
Dillon jumps up and down, excited to
be seeing his friends again. Max grins as he watches his son run down the hallway to his bedroom.
Over the years, Dillon has always had friends, good friends
. But not like the kind of friendship with Kane and Leo. Looking at the three boys playing together, you’d think they’ve been best friends all their lives.
* * * * * * * * * *
Claire prepares a platter of mixed sandwiches for everyone. Afterwards, while she is baking some cupcakes, Kane insisted on making some fairy bread.
Leo is asked to gather a blanket from the linen cupboard and a few floor cushions then collects a frisbee and football from the toybox.
“Knock knock. Anyone there?” Max calls out from the door with his hands full. A container full of vanilla slice in one hand, and the other, a cooler bag with a bottle of wine with two wine glasses.
Leo sprints to the door and opens the door for them. “Hi Constable Larson. Mum is in the kitchen.”
Kane comes out with the frisbee and football and ask Claire if they can go outside to play.
“Um,” she hesitates for a moment, not wanting to draw too much attention to her worries.
“Can you wait a couple of minutes until we are all ready to go out there too.”
“Nothing will happen to them out there,” Max insists. “They’ll be all right alone.”
“Okay, but don’t leave the yard and stay close to the house.”
All three boys run out the back door
calling out, “We will.”
Max step alongside Claire as she watches the boys out the kitchen window. “Thank you for inviting us today. It’s a perfect day for a picnic. Claire?”
“Sorry. Yeah, it is.”
“What’s going on? What are you so worried about? What do you think is going to happen to the kids outside?”
Claire doesn’t answer, but instead changes the subject. She looks at the time on the oven, “You’re early. Its only ten fifty.”
“Yeah, I know. Dillon couldn’t wait any longer to come over to start playing with Leo and Kane.” Max glances out the window again, “Look at them out there. I’m glad they have become best friends. It can be easy to make a friend, but to find a special friendship is something
different. That’s what our boys have.”
“I know, and I’m excited for them. It has been just over three years since they’ve had a friend. They’ve always had each other, but they’ve needed more.”
He looks at her confused. “Three years? How can that be? They are good boys.”
“I better finish decorating these cupcakes so we can get this picnic started.”
“Is there anything you’d like me to pack in the car yet?”
Claire looks to Max confused and explained that they were having the picnic in the back yard.
When he suggests the rock pools twenty minutes out of town, he sees her shoulders stiffen and a nervousness in her eyes.
“It’s fine. Maybe next time. I would love to show you around my town someday soon, but when you’re ready.”
He sits at the kitchen table and watches Claire finish decorating the last few cupcakes.
“Those look amazing. You really should think about starting up a business here. There is nothing like these anywhere around here, and I think you’d make a killing with them.”
“Maybe.”
Claire knows he’s right. People pay a fortune for artsy created cakes.
Max is salivating just thinking about taking a bite from one of the cupcakes. He quickly snatches one and bites into the freshly baked fluffy cake and moans.
“Jeez Claire,” he mumbles with a mouth full cake. “Marry me.” He teases.
“Oh, stop it,” she giggles while her face blushes as she places the last cake down on the plate ready to take outside for their picnic.
Claire grabs the sandwiches and cheese and kabana platter from the fridge. She’s grateful to the team from the Witness Protection Program for organising her groceries to be delivered very late at night and left at her back door.
Every so often she finds a nice surprise in the grocery boxes. Last week it was the soft cheeses and kabana, that’s when she decided to have a nice picnic. Hoping to add a bit of normality in their lives.
Chapter 5
Max has stopped by Claire’s place every day over the last four weeks. Not just picking the kids up and taking them to and from school, but Claire has made him and Dillon dinners a few times during the first two weeks. And now, he goes over every night and they cook together in the kitchen.
Kane, Leo and Dillon get along like a house on fire. Getting closer every day, like brothers.
Lately, Claire has been feeling more
comfortable, about Max breaking down her walls .
While Dillon is asleep on the floor of Kane and Leo’s room, Max and Claire sit on the back patio having a few drinks under the bright moonlight.
“Do you want your glass refilled? I’m going in for another beer.”
“Fuck it. Sure, why the hell not,” Claire slightly slurs and giggles.
“Maybe you’ve had enough. I’ve never heard you swear before.”
“Another drink ain’t gonna do me any harm. I’m not driving anywhere.”
“Are you sure? You’ve nearly polished off your bottle.”
“I’m a big girl. I promise I have ID, Constable,” Claire giggles.
Over these years being on the Witness
Protection Program, she hasn’t let alcohol get the better of her.
Many times she wanted to drown her sorrows. When her husband died, she was left with a hole in her heart. Claire was all her children had left, and they were all she had in the world. So, staying sober and not giving in to drinking was something she would do to help keep her sons safe.
So this one bottle has gone to her head, making her feeling giddy like a school girl around a boy she is attracted to.
Max walks inside and returns with her glass of wine and a bottle of beer. He sees a couple of flashes from beyond the trees in the back yard. Something is unnerving and doesn’t feel right. He sits beside Claire, staring out and waiting for another flash.
Claire crawls into his lap, kissing his collarbone and leaving a trail of light kisses up his neck. She takes his earlobe between her lips and sucks.
“Jeez Claire. You’re killing me here,” he groans. He runs his hands up and down her back, pressing her breasts against his chest.
“I want you,” she moans into his neck.
“Claire… I don’t think we should do this tonight.”
“You don’t want me?”
Max breathes in the sweet smell of her shampoo. “I do, more than you know. I have since the first time I laid eyes on you. But I can’t right now. Not
when you’ve had too much to drink.”
It might be the three glasses of wine talking but she still wants him. It has been a little over three years since she has had any male contact. Being in Max’s arms at this moment is all she can think about. It’s what she needs.
Claire presses her lips to his and Max deepens the kiss. He slides his tongue along the seam of her lips and Claire opens for him. Max moans into her mouth as their tongues wrestle.
Then suddenly he quickly pulls away and groans. “I can’t. I can’t do this. Not tonight.” He grabs her around the waist and lifts her off his lap.
Claire stares down at the wooden panel on the patio, thankful the moon isn’t as bright and has gone behind some clouds. Embarrassed, she stands and says she better clean up a little so there won’t be such a mess in the morning.
“Wait.” Max reaches for her hand to stop her from walking away. “Claire, please. I’m sorry. It’s just__”
She glances down at his hand holding hers. “I’m fine. Really.”
She starts to walk away, and his hand drops into his lap. Max knew she was hurting, and he felt so bad for making her feel that way.
Max looks out into the trees in the distance and notices a few more flashes. He walks to the handrail and mumbles under his breath. “What the hell is that?” Then he thinks it’s probably just some of the kids around here walking around the bush out the back. He r
emembers the fun times he
had doing that when he was young.
Max stands in the doorway watching Claire with her back to him. She’s wiping down a bench that is already spotless.
“Claire? Is everything alright?”
She takes a deep breath and smiles
before turning to face him. “Yeah. I’m fine. Just a bit tired.”
He knows that’s not true, or at least not completely true and understands she wishes to be alone. Not wanting to upset her any more than he already has, he decides it might be best to leave with Dillon.
“Okay. We better be going and let you gets some sleep.” Max desperately wants to close the distance between them, wrap his arms around her and comforts her. “I’ll drop in tomorrow to see how you are.”
Max carries his sleeping son to his car then glances back to the house to wave bye. He was expecting to see Claire standing in the doorway. But when she is nowhere to be seen, and her front door is probably already locked. Disappointed, he feels his heart drop to the pit of his
stomach.
As he reverses out her driveway, he takes one last look at her house.
“Dammit. I need to fix this when I talk to her tomorrow,” he mutters under his breath to himself.
Claire peers out the window and watches Max drive away. She wanders around the house checking and double checking the doors and windows before going to bed.
She lays there and the events of the night run through her head. Her eyes well up with tears.
“I’m such a fool. What was I thinking?” Claire whimpers to herself and wipes her tears away. She rolls over onto her side, hugging her pillow to her chest, “Jeremy… I wish you were still here with me. I… I need you Jeremy. Please help me understand, why he rejected me? Is there something wrong with me?”
Claire brings the pillow to cover her mouth and cries herself asleep.
Chapter 6
Dillon runs into the kitchen when he smells the bacon and egg max is cooking.
“Hey buddy. You’re just in time for breakfast.” Max pours Dillon a glass of juice then plates up their food.