"I know all I need to know."
Ainsley took his hand and placed it against her cheek. "I only want what is best for you."
"I know that, Mother." He cupped her face with his large hand. "She's a pretty lass that has captured my eye. It will pass."'Tis not a bad meal you've eaten, Ian. The woman has captured more than your eye she has your heart. Do you think when you've bed her you will no longer be so taken with her?"
He turned away. "'Tis no way for a mother to speak."
She turned Ian back to her. "That is what you are thinking, isn't it? Do not think that because I am your mother that I do not know the ways of men. Be careful. You'll not rid your mind nor your heart of Lynn once you've made love to her, Ian. Most likely you'll embed her in your soul." "You're making too much of this." Ian felt uncomfortable with her talk. He made to leave, but stopped when he saw her look, that of a mother unhappy with her child.
"Is she worth the risk?" Ainsley asked. "What risk is that?" Ainsley looked down at her hands, remembrance bringing her own pain. "The risk of being betrayed . . . of the pain and heartbreak?'' "Aye," Ian said softly, his voice deepening with emotion. "She's awakened a need in me I cannot deny. I must see this to the end, whatever it may be."
Ian walked from his room. It was true, he couldn't walk away from Lynn. It had been a long time since he had allowed himself to feel anything for a woman, and now it was beyond his control. Sometime during their strange and rocky relationship, his desire had developed into something elsesomething stronger, something irresistible. Maybe it was love, he didn't know. Whatever it was, he couldn't stop it, anymore than he could stop the seasons from passing or the sun from rising.
He would see this to the end.
Kolyn pulled the ring from around her neck and placed it under her pillow, careful to tuck the old string she had hung it on underneath as well. She had felt it best that no one see it, even Ronald and Jean. Picking up a candle, she made her way down the ladder and to the kitchen on the lower floor. It was Sunday night and everyone had retired, leaving Kolyn a few private hours. Molly had said she could bathe in the kitchen, that no one would bother her. Like a child at Christmas she anticipated the quiet time, longed for the heat of the water to soothe her aching bones.
Within minutes she was soaking in the hot water, tiredness easing from her. Visions floated across her mind torturing her heart with emotion. Ian's golden eyes haunted her. Had she thought that killing a man would be easy?
She should hate him. Hate him with every fiber of her being. He had killed her father, her brothers, even wounded her. Yet she was having a difficult time remembering all those things. Especially when he touched her. One touch and she was lost.
A sick feeling twisted her stomach. She should hate him. How could she desire him? Unable to deal with the shame any longer, Kolyn slid beneath the water to dampen her hair, then proceeded to scrub it with a vengeance. She would kill him. She must. Ian heard soft footsteps on the stairwell and stepped outside his room. When Lynn reached the top of the stairs, she stopped.
"Good evening, Lynn."
Lynn stood very still. "Good evening, Lord Blackstone." "I thought we had decided you would call me Ian." Ian stepped closer, noticing her wet hair and the blanket she huddled beneath. "If I had known you were bathing below, I might have taken advantage of the situation." Kolyn knew he was teasing, but her emotional state was too tense to take it as such. "I must go." She started to turn, but Ian reached out to stop her, his hand touching her cheek. His thumb ran over the fullness of her lips, bringing a frown to his face.
"You're trembling," he whispered.
"I'm cold," Kolyn replied honestly, her legs shaking beneath her. "You need to warm by a fire." Ian took her hand and started to guide her to his room. She pulled back. "No, I'll go to my room, thank you." "Is there a fire in your room?" She thought he must know they had no heat up in the attic, and frustration undermined her already fragile emotions. "I have no need of a fire."
He seemed not to take her comments to heart. Instead he forcibly moved her to his room, then pushed her down in the chair that sat in front of the fire. Without further comment he grabbed one bare foot and began to rub the chill from it. She just stared at his bent head, clutching the blanket about her. "Give me your dress, Lynn."
"What?"
Ian pried her finger from the wet dress she held, then laid it near the fire. "It should be dry by morning."
He returned to rub her other foot, his hands gently massaging up her calves. The chills finally left Kolyn and in their place came drowsiness. She fought to stay awake, to keep her senses alert. The Devil charms, then disarms. She must stay awake.
Kolyn came awake with a start, the room dark and quiet. Too quiet. It took a minute for her eyes to adjust to the dimness, the faint light the embers provided allowing her to see shadows of the furnishings. Slowly she inched across to the bed, Ian's even breathing telling her he slept. She started to leave, then stopped, her gaze resting on the dagger that lay upon his nightstand. They were alone, and the knife was within her grasp. Taking a deep breath, she reached out.
Ian's hand seized Kolyn's, sending her heart to her throat. Her gaze met his. She understood what he wanted. What he needed. Suddenly, she had no fear. She understood what she had to do.
Without words, she let the blanket drop away. His gaze was hot upon her, sliding over every inch of her. She allowed Ian to look at her nakedness before she climbed into the bed. Kolyn felt the long, muscled length of his body as she pressed against him, his flesh heating hers. A strange warmth stirred deep in the pit of her belly teasing her with its power.
Hesitant, yet determined, Kolyn ran her hand along the taut ridge of muscles in his arm, her touch causing them to bunch in reflex. Shyly, she explored the broad width of his chest with the sensitive tips of her fingers, the
fine hair causing them to tingle. She was pale compared to his tanned skin, smooth against his scarred flesh. Gently, she kissed the old wounds, wanting only the feel of Ian beneath her lips. Her tongue tasted his flesh, her nose smelled his scent, musky and male. Her mind filled with Ian, his short, heavy breathing a melody. Nature guided Kolyn and she wanted to get closer, to claim his lips with her own.
Ian pulled her face up and kissed her, long and deep. No longer was there any denial, any hesitancy. Lynn returned his kiss, her tongue stroking, twisting with his. He wondered if he was dreaming, but knew it was too good to be fantasy. She was alive and in his arms, giving of herself.
He moved his lips to feel her cheek, soft and velvety. The scent of heather mingled in her freshly washed hair, as it did on the gentle curve of her neck. He studied the contour with his lips, moving along the length of her arm and on to the tips of her fingers. Her hands pulled his face back to hers, her lips searching for his. He responded willingly. Longingly.
The heat broke into fire, and he thought he might have died, gone to heaven. Lynn's body moved beneath him, innocent, yet seductive. Her hands clutched his back, pulling him closer, her hips arching to him, telling him of her need, of her desire. His attention moved downward, captured by a tender nipple, taut and erect. His tongue
glided over it. Ian claimed it with his lips, causing Lynn to moan. He kissed a line down to her belly, the pink flesh quivering with each wet touch. She smelled sweet, delicate.
Kolyn trembled from the delightful torture his lips inflicted on her. He moved to the sensitive skin of her thighs, then on to the ticklish backs of her knees. Ian discovered her toes, nibbling and licking till she could take no more. She wrapped her legs about his, pulling him closer, the full length of him touching her body, his hardness promising pleasure. She moaned and arched to meet him, to take his fullness inside her. Newly awakened sensations gathered inside her, and she feared she might explode from wanting.
His golden eyes met hers, the gentleness in them touching her, stilling the beating of her heart. He pulled back, a sudden question in their depths. She smiled and drew him back to her, guiding
him within her. His eyes closed, and she felt him tremble as he drove past her maidenhead. The flash of pain only added to her need, and she accepted him fully, clinging to him. Again and again he lunged, bringing her beyond and above the realm of reality, satisfying her aching need. Never had she expected such pleasure as he gave to her. Never had she expected the Black Wolf to be such a gentle lover.
Kolyn lay curled within the warmth of his strong arms, a satisfied, lazy feeling permeating her. He lay for a long time holding her, neither of them talking, neither moving. She waited for him to sleep, but sleep found her instead. For the second time that night, Kolyn awoke with a start. Holding her breath, she listened, then breathed with relief when she found him asleep. Carefully, slowly, she left the bed.
Her legs felt rubbery. Whether it was the aftermath of their lovemaking or her fear that robbed her of her strength, she wasn't certain. Kolyn licked her lips, the flesh sensitive from his kisses. Shame moved in, taking away the pleasure she had known only a short time before. How could she have enjoyed his touch so much? She felt a pain in her chest as her heart broke with each memory her mind conjured. Each touch, each kiss was forever branded in her mind.
With shaking hands she covered her eyes, tears hot on her flushed face. Angry, she wiped them away and gritted her teeth. She must stop acting like a woman and act like the MacGregor. Kolyn reached for the knife. The metal was cold in her hand as she pulled it from its sheath. She breathed deeply to still her trembling hands. She watched Ian, his sleep sound and undisturbed. Kolyn raised the knife above her head. Dark hair framed his face, a boyish innocence
softening his features. He was devilishly handsome, his dark looks and golden eyes enough to melt any woman's heart. "But not me," she whispered hoarsely, gripping the knife harder. "Not me." Still, Kolyn could not strike. She stood for the longest time, prepared. Yet she could not move. He lay before her, his heart bared, unprotected. She closed her eyes and clenched her jaw. He had killed her father!
Guilt collided with hesitancy. Confusion clouded her mind, flashes eating away at her. I promise to see the Black Wolf dead . . . Black Wolf dead . . .
Tears blinded her. Slowly she lowered the knife, her heart constricting from the shame of her failure, the pain of what that failure might mean to her, to Andrew, to her clan. Never had she expected Ian Blackstone to touch her as he had. Never. Kolyn set the knife back on the table and moved to where he had put her clothes to dry. She pulled them on, feeling numb. She intentionally willed her mind blank. To think was painful. Without looking back, she left Ian's room. It was time to go home to Andrew, to salvage what she could.
Ian rolled over and reached for Lynn, but found the bed empty. A small alarm went off inside his head, but he ignored it and pulled himself up. Her dress was gone. He grabbed a towel and wrapped it about him as he walked down the hall to the attic entrance. Quietly he climbed the ladder.
"Lynn," he called out. No answer came.
He looked about the small attic room and found it empty. Again the alarm sounded. This time he paid heed. Ian wasted no time in going downstairs and searching for Lynn. He realized she was nowhere to be found. By the time dawn came, Ian's anger was beyond control. "We've searched the entire village, Ian. She's gone."
He didn't want Geoffrey to tell him that. He wanted Lynn found. Something inside him snapped, and he grabbed his friend's arm. "Search again. She's got to be here." Geoffrey pulled free of Ian's grip and shook his head. "I dinna ken your anger, my friend. She's just a pretty lass. What has possessed you?" Ian sat down on the wood bench, pushing back his hair in frustration. He didn't know what possessed him only that he couldn't face Lynn being gone. "Why would she leave, Geoff? Without even a word."
Geoffrey laughed, trying to lighten the mood. "Who's to say why a woman does what she does?" Ian agreed, his attempt to laugh with his friend failing. He sighed instead. Geoffrey felt concerned about Ian's intense reaction to the girl's disappearance. This was exactly what he'd feared would happen. How could Ian become attached to the girl in so short a time? "You barely knew the lass, Ian. Why are you so upset?"
Darkened eyes looked up at Geoffrey, the look haunted. "I can't explain it, my friend. I thought it was just an infatuation with a pretty girl that made my blood run hot. All I could think of was having her in my arms and in my bed. But when I found her gone . . . I thought I'd never feel that kind of pain again." "Just shows you Blair didn't leave you dead inside. 'Tis time to go on with your life again." Geoffrey slapped Ian upon the back, trying to get a smile from him. "Come, let's take a ride."
The two men walked to the tavern door, but stopped when Molly called out to them.
"Just what am I t' do with these two?" She pointed to the goose and dog. "They've been carryin' on for that lass all day. Can I cook the goose now, my lord?" "Aye." Ian waved his hand through the air as if to clear it of the memories of Lynn. Again he started to leave, but thought better of what he had said. Without saying another word he walked over to where Molly stood, Lynn's goose at her feet. He picked up the goose and tucked it under his arm, then handed the dog to Geoff.
"I'll see to them, Molly." 'Are you goin' t' cook him?" she asked, her eyes round with surprise. "No. He's not to be a meal upon our table." Geoffrey laughed, drawing Ian's menacing glare. "Now I've seen everything!"
Geoffrey left before Ian could say anything in return, the wiggling dog firmly in hand.
Leslie turned and went back up the ladder to her room. She had heard Geoffrey return and couldn't help eavesdropping. She had liked Lynn, but jealousy hit her hard, twisting inside her, creating anger and hurt. Why had Ian taken to Lynn and not her? She had given him every opportunity to have her. She had made it very clear she desired him. Yet he'd always remained politely distant.
She kicked out, striking the mattress Lynn had used. Then, with a carefully placed foot, she hurled her pillow across the room. Something fell onto the floor at her feet, and Leslie bent to pick it up. Her eyes grew big with surprise as she held the ring up to examine it.
"Blessed be," she murmured in awe. It looked expensive, and this made Leslie smile. She placed the cord around her neck. "Thanks, Lynn, or whoever you are." Leslie dropped the ring down her blouse between her breasts. She yawned and sprawled out on her bed. Maybe she could get a coin or two for it.
Chapter Thirteen
"Where have you been, Kolyn?" Dwight moved to stand directly in front of Kolyn where she sat curled up in front of the fire. Dwight's question was not unexpected. In fact, Kolyn had marveled at his restraint all that day until they were alone and Andrew was tucked in his bed. As if to make up for lost time, she had spent every minute with Andrew. He looked to her as if he had grown during the six weeks she was gone.
Kolyn took a sip of the wine from the goblet she held, trying to find the right words. All day long memories had stifled her, tearing at her heart and soul like demons from hell. Surely it was what she deserved. She had lain with him, like a common whore, giving of herself and loving him. Shame assaulted the reasons she had so steadfastly held onto the feud, Emmett's threats. Even now, under Dwight's angry glare, she remembered the pleasure of Ian's touch, the desire he so easily aroused in her. How could she explain that she found him attractive, that he was gentle and loving? How was she to live with the fact she couldn't kill him, even to save Andrew from her brother's threats? How was she to live with the fact that she had even tried?
"I'm waiting." As if to stress his point, Dwight sat across from her, the fire crackling loudly in the silence that followed. She drew a deep breath, wishing she could draw courage from the air to still the harried beating of her heart and keep her hands from shaking. "I'm sorry you've been so worried, Dwight. I had hoped you would not be."
"Would not be worried? You disappeared that night of the fire. Your horse showed up the next day. You did not. What happened?" His look was fierce. Kolyn had to give him some sort of explanation. "I stayed to put the fire out and two men rode there from the village. One wa
s Ian Blackstone."
"The Black Wolf," Dwight muttered, his look incredulous. "Yes," Kolyn said, "the Black Wolf himself. We argued, and I foolishly challenged him. He laughed at me, and it angered me. I struck out, and he reacted in self-defense, wounding me in the shoulder. He rode off, and I followed. I don't think he even knew I did, it was raining hard and stormy. I got lost, Dwight."
Her story came out stilted, without emotion. She could not let him hear the truth, not even in her voice.
"You lost your way?" "I lost a lot of blood. It was dark and I found myself in forests I'd never been in before. Blackstone's land. I decided to wait till light to find my way out, but by dawn I was fevered and unconscious. The boy I sent to Father McCloud found me, and his mother nursed me back to health."
Her uncle was silent for a long moment, as if taking in her story. He watched her, his eyes doubting. Was her own guilt showing? Could he see that she had betrayed her father and the clan? "What else happened, lass?"
"Nothing else, Uncle. You know I wouldn't stay away from Andrew any longer than I had to." The lie was difficult, but to tell the truth was impossible. What she had hoped would bring this horrible nightmare to an end only complicated it. What would she do now?
Dwight didn't believe her. There was something . . . something different about Kolyn. He couldn't place words to it, couldn't define it or explain it. He just knew. "Aye, Kolyn. Andrew's missed you fiercely."
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