“I haven’t seen them in a month. Please Toby.” He grabbed my hand and pulled me from my chair, causing it to fall to the floor with a clatter.
“I said no Belle.” He pulled me towards the cupboard under the stairs and pushed me into it. He slammed the door behind me and latched it, locking me in the dark with my tears.
Chapter 56
Every bruise, every night in the dark, and every argument, played through my mind as I lay whimpering on the floor. I almost couldn’t cope with the avalanche of memories that seeing Toby had seemed to bring on. My breathing was ragged and the sense of panic was only making me worse. I’d found before that once a panic attack got a hold of me it ended in a vicious cycle. The sound, and feeling, of gasping for breath only made me panic more, causing yet more gasping. My face was a patchwork of damp tears and tight places where they’d dried. My stomach cramped and I felt like I was about to be sick. Luckily, that wasn’t normally something that happened when I panicked.
Even though there was a tiny, sane, part of my mind that was telling me Toby wasn’t here and that he was probably still hunched over in pain, I still found myself flinching away from the invisible hand that came towards me. I cried out in phantom pain, remembering all the times I’d had to cover up black eyes and bruises on my cheeks and neck. I wanted to cower in a corner and never move. After all, if I never said or did anything ever again then he wouldn’t hurt me. Or I could be a good girlfriend. Make sure his dinner was on the table at eight on the dot, have his shirts washed and ironed. I could make sure I always looked good, but not slutty. Be available for him whenever he wanted. Yes, that’s what I’d do. I’d make sure I was perfect for him. Then he wouldn’t hurt me.
Except that’s never what happened. Could he really change? Somewhere in the back of my mind my inner voice was screaming at me to remember someone. Someone that loved me. But all I could focus on was trying to make sure that Toby didn’t want to hurt me again. He’d look after me. Except he hadn’t the last time.
Chapter 57
3 Years Ago.
The sensations of screaming and falling were all I could remember of what happened. That, and a loud crack as my head hit the floor at the bottom of our stairs. The next thing I knew I was in the back of an ambulance. The siren was blaring outside and I could imagine the flash of blue lights in the dark. There were two paramedics with me in the back of the ambulance as well as Toby, holding my hand but sitting in silence.
“Welcome back Honey.” One of the paramedics said cheerfully; she was a tall woman with dark skin and the eyes and hair to match. She smiled reassuringly at me and I almost felt safe, but then with Toby around that was never really possible anymore.
“What happened?” I croaked.
“You slipped.” Toby said with very little emotion, almost as if I wasn’t lying in an ambulance. He certainly didn’t sound worried. The word ‘slipped’ went around in my head, something seemed off about it, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. I looked back at the female paramedic and she placed a hand gently on my left shoulder.
“Your lower arm is broken and we’re worried that you may have concussion.” She told me. Though she was only telling me facts there was something comforting in her voice. The other paramedic, a man with pale skin and frizzy hair even more orange than my own, was watching Toby warily, as if he suspected him of something. “Can you tell me your name?”
“Annabelle.”
“And your surname?”
“Phillips.” She continued asking me questions; my address, my date of birth, my mother’s name, what the date was. She grew visibly less worried as I answered, the risk of concussion seemingly diminished. When we arrived at the hospital she ushered me out and checked me into the ER. Then came the wait. It took what seemed like hours but eventually a nurse came and called my name to take me to have an X-ray done. When Toby tried to follow, she shook her head.
“You can’t come in here.”
“Why not?” He demanded. Despite his tone the nurse seemed to stay calm.
“Only patients and staff can come in here.”
“But she’s my girlfriend.”
“I’m sorry sir, only Miss Phillips is allowed in.”
“Belle. Tell her to let me come with you.” I cowered ever so slightly and the nurse stepped in front of me.
“I’m sorry sir you can’t come in. If you want to wait for Miss Phillips, then you’re welcome to stay in the waiting area.” She turned and guided me towards the X-Ray room. “Miss Phillips, how did you break your arm?”
“I don’t know.” I shook my head, tears building in my eyes.
“You don’t have to protect him. We can help.” Her eyes pleaded with me, clearly she’d noticed me flinching from Toby. I shook my head again.
“I don’t know how I broke my arm.” I repeated. The nurse sighed.
“The paramedics at the scene flagged your injuries as suspicious, Miss Phillips. We can help you if you need it.” I shook my head again. “Do you want me to get him once you’re done?” I thought for a moment.
“No.” I almost couldn’t believe I’d said it. But enough was enough. I couldn’t recall how I’d injured myself but I knew that I needed to get away before I suffered something worse than a broken arm.
“Okay. Who would you like me to get for you?” The nurse smiled slightly, looking relieved.
“Hayley McCarthy.” I said it without hesitation. “But I don’t have her number.” I sounded dejected even to myself.
“Do you have an address?” I nodded enthusiastically and jostled my left arm sending shooting pain through me. I hadn’t felt much pain up until that moment, and it had been easy to forget that my arm was broken. The nurse took down Hayley’s address and within 24 hours I had my best friend back, and faced the rest of my life away from Toby.
Chapter 58
My sobs slowed slightly, but I felt far too drained to do anything but lie still. My thoughts began to clear and I remembered that, after the day of the accident, I’d had nothing to do with Toby at all. I hadn’t even gone back to our house to collect my belongings; basically, I started again. Hayley helped of course, she moved me in with her and made sure I wasn’t on my own if I didn’t have to be. Almost before I knew it, I’d started to feel safe again; that was until Toby showed up here. He pushed his way into the show, into something I loved, and ruined it for me. Honestly, if it hadn’t been for Hayley and Jack then I don’t think I’d have even stuck it out this long.
I hated the fact that I’d let Toby affect me again. It had been three years and I’d come so far, even as far as having a serious relationship with Jack; Jack who was on stage now singing to me and I wasn’t there to see it. My eyes watered again and I began to cry. I’d missed out on something important to us both because of Toby and there was no way I could ever get it back. We’d never open The Phantom of the Opera ever again. My tears turned into sobs again and I began to hyperventilate, and while I was exhausted from reliving my past, it seemed that my panic attack hadn’t quite finished. I tried to reason with myself, after all I was alone in a dark room and no one actually knew where I was. In fact, it was likely that no one even knew I was missing. There’d only be Hayley and Jack who’d notice, and the evening had been planned so I wouldn’t see either of them until after the show was finished. The thought of being alone for so long had me crying again and I hated myself for it.
After what felt like hours, but probably wasn’t, I thought I heard movement and noise above me, but dismissed it as nothing more than my imagination. If I pushed away the voices, then I wouldn’t have to live through anymore memories; or at least I hoped that was the case.
“Annabelle!” I thought I heard Jack shout my name, but that couldn’t be right. Jack was on stage. Whoever it was, they sounded worried about me. But Jack wouldn’t be worried. He was always calm and steady; it was one of the many things I loved about him. “Annabelle!” The voice shouted again, closer this time. I tried pushing it away again, b
ut this time there was more noise, like footsteps and lots of people shuffling. A door banged somewhere and I flinched before realising it was nowhere near. “Annabelle!” This time, I tried to push myself up, but slipped back down to the floor. The events of the past couple of hours had drained me more than I wanted to truly admit.
“Here!” My voice was a hoarse croak rather than the shout I wanted it to be. “I’m here.” I wasn’t sure whether I was still crying from before, or if I was crying because I couldn’t make my voice heard. Either way I was surprised I even had more tears left at all.
“Annabelle!” The footsteps were on the stairs this time and I almost sighed in relief. They’d find me. Jack would find me. He had to.
“Here. Here. Here. Here. Here.” I croaked the word repeatedly in the hope that this time whoever it was would hear me. The door opened and I tried to look up but the light hurt my eyes and I had to look away again.
“Annabelle,” this time the voice was soft, almost like a whisper, and full of relief. I felt rather than saw the person the voice belonged to sinking onto the floor next to me. Gently, the person pulled me to him and cradled my head against his chest. It was only then that my brain finally cleared and I understood that Jack had found me.
“You’re here.” I croaked.
“Shhh. I’m here.” He stroked my hair which soothed me slightly.
“Oh God, what happened?” A second voice, one that after a moment or two I recognised as Hayley, sounded worried.
“I don’t know.” Jack said softly.
“Toby.” I croaked. Jack inhaled sharply and balled the hand at my back into a fist.
“I’m going to kill him.” Hayley sounded as if she would as well.
“No. He’s not worth that.” Jack was still talking softly, as if he was trying to soothe a baby.
“You don’t understand Jack. Last time he hurt her she ended up in hospital.” She sounded really angry now.
“What?” There was a definite edge to his question.
“He pushed her down the stairs. She won’t tell me why.”
“He pushed me?” I asked, my words garbled from being pressed against Jack’s chest. Not that I wanted to move right now.
“That’s what the paramedics thought.” Hayley’s voice softened slightly and I felt her sit down beside us. “You had concussion and broken arm, Belle. That’s not normal from a fall down the stairs.”
“I don’t remember falling.” I admit quietly.
“It’s okay, he won’t hurt you again.” Jack said to me softly, though I can imagine him glaring at Hayley as if to tell her to stop talking about this.
“He didn’t hurt me this time.”
“What did he do then?” Hayley almost spat. I knew she didn’t like Toby, but this was a level of hatred I’d never seen from her before.
“He scared me. I ran. I tripped.” Even the effort of saying the little I had had me exhausted, but I was already breathing easier, and with Jack beside me I was calming down more every minute.
“Are you hurt?” Jack asked. I nodded.
“My ankle.”
“Want me to carry you back up to the theatre?” I nodded. Hayley moved to support me while Jack stood up. Slowly he scooped me into his arms and I automatically moved my hands around his neck to get closer to him.
“The show!” I suddenly thought and felt Jack’s chuckle.
“It went amazing; your staging is all anyone can talk about.” He assured me.
“And it’s driving Merry crazy!” Hayley added. I smiled gently. I’d be alright with the two of them beside me.
Chapter 59
“You’re not allowed to get up.” Jack ordered me sternly.
“You’re not a doctor Jack!” I reminded him, though I was secretly pleased that he wanted to take care of me.
“True. But even the doctor said you’re not allowed to put any weight on it for a few days.”
“It’s a sprain Jack, I’ll be fine.” I was lucky that that was the only injury I’d sustained during the events of last night.
“Yes, you will be.” He looked almost sad when he said that, and I wondered if he was trying to blame himself for what happened to me. “But for now, you have me to look after you.” I smiled at him. Really, he was being no more attentive than normal, I was just noticing it more because of my injury.
“Well why don’t you come sit with me and we’ll watch a film?” If he was going to offer to nurse me then I was going to take full advantage of the situation. He moved before he said anything and I pulled up my Netflix account to look for something to watch.
“Legally Blonde.” He said, pulling me into his arms. I smiled again, thinking about what Jill had said about him liking films with happy endings. “Have you heard back from Detective Jennings?” He sounded hesitant, as if he didn’t want to bring up the subject; I shook my head.
“No. But I’m not expecting much. There’s no evidence against Toby from last night. Or even from before. I feel so stupid for not taking pictures of my bruises or something.” He flinched at the reminder of what I’d endured, but I snuggled back into him to try and take his mind off it.
“The hospital report not count?” Though I couldn’t see his face I could picture him chewing his lip nervously, which was when I realised his sister did exactly the same.
“I don’t remember anything from before the ambulance, and without that it’s only the speculation of the paramedics.” I felt more at ease talking about my past now. As horrible as last night was, reliving my worst memories almost seemed to have a purging effect on them.
“Oh.” He sounded a mixture of disappointed and angry, though at what I didn’t really know.
“But it’s alright now.” I told him, though Jack just waited for me to explain what I meant. “Now I have you.” He froze behind me and I worried that I’d said something wrong.
“I make it better?” His voice sounded small, like a child who was worried they’d lose something they’d just been given. I turned to face him and looked into his eyes. There was barely any space between us and I could feel his breath on my lips.
“Yes Jack, you make it better.” He broke into a huge grin which made my heart skip a beat in happiness.
“I love you Annabelle.”
“Love you too Jack.” We didn’t get to watch much of the film after that.
Chapter 60
It was the last day of our week of performances, and each one had run as perfectly as the first. Against Hayley and Jack’s wishes, I’d been back since the third show doing what I was there to do, and I’d been relieved to find that I still loved it. We were just setting up for the first scene, when my phone rang. Confused about who it could be with Hayley and Jack in the room with me, I pulled it out of my pocket to find an unknown number calling me. It was probably just a cold call, but I found myself answering anyway.
“Hello, Annabelle Phillips.” I said down the line.
“Hi. My name’s Hal Fraser, I got your details from Jill Fenton.”
“Oh, hi Mr. Fraser, how can I help?” At the name both Jack and Hayley stopped what they were doing and came over to eavesdrop, despite me waving them away.
“Ms. Fenton gave me your portfolio and after seeing the show in person last night, I just knew that I had to have you on my team.”
“Okay…”
“Are you available at two tomorrow?” Both Jack and Hayley were nodding next to me, clearly excited by the possible news.
“Yes.”
“Good. I’m going to text you the address of the studio, I’d like it if you came to have a chat about a position here.”
“You want me to come for an interview?” I sounded excited even to myself. With all that had happened, I hadn’t given two thoughts to the fact Jill had said one of her clients was interested in me as a concept artist.
“Well, not an interview as such, I already know I want you on the team, but more to make sure the arrangement is beneficial to us both.”
“T
hank you Mr. Fraser, I look forward to meeting with you.” I could feel the grin on my face and it was mirrored by both Jack and Hayley. I ended the call before letting out a squeal and trying to jump up and down before Jack stopped me.
“No jumping!” He admonished and tapped me on the nose. “It’s bad for your ankle.” But at that moment I couldn’t care less.
Chapter 61
“We’re in the paper.” Jack was lying on his front on my bed reading the paper while I sketched him. I wasn’t sure if he actually realised I was doing it, but that was an artist’s prerogative; when inspiration strikes, it’s best to just go with it.
“What’s it say?” I said without looking up. I was concentrating on getting the shading just right. Jack cleared his throat before beginning to read.
“Last night, Halftime Players won new reality show, The Show Must Go On, with their production of The Phantom of the Opera, with particular praise going towards Hayley McCarthy for the costumes and Annabelle Phillips for the staging and effects. Yet Phillips was absent from the final awards episode, as was Jack Fenton, who played one of the lead roles in the production. It is rumoured among the cast that Fenton and Phillips are in a relationship, though that doesn’t explain their absence last night.” When Jack had heard that one of the people presenting the awards was Toby he’d refused to go last night. I can’t say I blamed him as I’d not really wanted to go either, so instead we’d ordered a takeaway and watched chick flicks. I can’t say that I was disappointed I didn’t go. “Star, Meredith Ryman, collected the winner’s award instead, and has been approached by an agent as a result. Other notable awards went to the Birmingham production of Calamity Jane for costumes, and a Welsh production of Wicked for effects, though if winners had been eligible to win other awards then it could have been a very different outcome.” I laughed.
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