“It’s okay, Serena. I shouldn’t just spring everything on you. I didn’t realize you didn’t know about how our society worked.” He scratches the back of his neck.
Guilt sours my stomach as I feel his various emotions washing through me. I’d hurt him by not accepting him. He knows this is still a massive shock, but I can’t help but feel what I feel. “Dane, as much as I know about you and the guys, I’m still learning. You’ve known each other for years, and I’ve known you all for less than a week. Please don’t take everything to heart when I don’t know something. And besides,” I grin, “I think it’s kind of hot.”
His eyes widen at my words and a snicker pulls from my lips. And that’s what you get for springing it onto me. Spinning around, I turn to the group, my eyes roaming over each of them. I wonder who…
Paxton’s eyes meet mine, and I can feel Dane’s amusement through our connection. “You do know you can’t judge a book by its cover, right?”
I smirk as I glance over my shoulder. “Maybe. But now I’m going to keep a close eye on all of you until I discover who your dirty little secret is.”
A loud shriek breaks us apart, and we both turn to look at our table where Sabrina is verbally abusing Declan. Her fingers jabs in my direction, then back to him, and I can only imagine what she’s saying.
A soft tug on my hand precedes a warmth descending over my right shoulder. “What do you say we get out of here?” Dane whispers. His breath brushes over my skin, making me shiver.
But he’s right. Everyone’s focus is on Sabrina and the show she’s putting on. I turn to face Dane and grin.
He pulls me away by my hand and we quickly make it to the tree line. I hold his hand more tightly as we pass under the fairy lights and the darkness sinks in around me. A lump forms in my throat.
It’s not the Forest. Everything is fine.
I repeat that to myself over and over again, but flashes of the trial seep into my thoughts, hazy from the amount of alcohol I’d consumed. But even though the images are clouded, the terror and pain I’d felt floods my system, reminding me of what it was like that night.
Distantly, I can see the warm glow of street lamps poking through the trees, so I focus on them until a tug on my arm brings me to a stop in a beam of moonlight filtering through the canopy above. I try to conceal my panic as I turn to see Dane has stopped walking. His eyes are filled with worry as he glances between the surrounding shadows and me.
“Why are you so scared? You don’t usually react like that when we’re walking to class…” he trails off, scanning the forest, then moving his attention back to me. “Serena, what happened to you?” he asks, and I close my eyes and turn away, wishing to un-hear the kindness in his voice. Why do they have to be so nice?
Guilt chokes me—or it might be the simmering anxiety—and I look up to the moon glowing brightly against the black sky, thankfully just visible between the branches. I take strength from it but also will for it to wash away my sins. All I’m going to do is betray them.
I shiver as a light breeze blows against my skin, bringing with it the coolness of the night and the smell of damp earth. Dane moves in close behind me, shielding me from the wind. I allow the moon’s glow to sink into my skin, and with the warming comfort flowing from Dane, the dark parts overtaking my mind retreat, and the heaviness in my chest lessens.
Self-deprivation consumes me, “I guess even darkness has a soul…” and I pull back, not wanting to admit my past, my betrayal, everything that made it possible for me to be here.
“Serena?” Dane whispers, as he shuffles behind me. I lean back against his chest, and he tucks me in against him, both our eyes trained on the moon. “Serena, I don’t know what’s going on, or what happened to you, but you have us. And we’ll be here for you, no matter what. You’re one of us now—we have your back.”
He wouldn’t say that if he knew… I shake my head as I spin around to stare into his eyes, my fear still a persistent crawling sensation up my back.
“Dane, there’s so much you don’t know about me. I don’t think you’d like what you’d find if you…” I trail off and look away from his earnest expression and the longing flowing between us.
He tilts my head back to meet his eyes. “I can feel your emotions, Serena. I can feel the goodness inside you, even though sometimes you don’t think it’s there. I can feel the pain that makes its way through you whether you’re asleep or awake. I know that whatever it is haunts you. Someone terrible, someone bad, wouldn’t feel regret or pain or be as kind as you are. Even if you do try to hide it.” His lips quirk up at one corner, and the fluttering in my chest grows at how naked I feel under his gaze. “No matter what you think, you are good, Serena. You’re a survivor, and all that matters is that you survived.”
A lump lodges itself in my throat. I continue to stare into his eyes and feel the barricade around everything that I’ve locked far away begin to crack. I guess even someone who’s done despicable things can be affected by words like that.
My lips tug into a small smile as he rolls his eyes. “I may not be able to hear your thoughts, but your emotions speak louder than words. We’ve all done things we regret, Serena. That doesn’t make you a bad person.”
I open my mouth to rebut, but his hand cups the back of my head and his lips crash against mine. For a moment, only he moves over me, and I’m frozen, paralyzed by the emotions rebounding between the two of us. I clutch at his sweater when my legs wobble underneath me. One emotion from him shouts above the rest: Why won’t you see what I see?
He draws me closer to his chest, to the hardness underneath my hands. But this is too much. I want him, but I shouldn’t…
“Dane,” I whisper against his lips. “Dane, I can’t—”
He growls and nips at my bottom lip, forcing a groan out of me. “Yes, you can.”
His kiss softens and slows as his hand slides up my back, beneath my shirt. Ah, fuck it. A sigh pulls from my lips at the feel of his roughened, gardener’s hands against my bare skin. I wrap my hand around the back of his neck and thread my fingers through his hair. If I’m going to die and go to hell, at least I’ll have this memory.
Dane smiles against my lips and finally pulls away just as I was beginning to really enjoy myself, his hooded eyes filled with mischief.
“Now let’s get back. I’m sure the others are wondering where we are.” He waggles his eyebrows and heat floods my face.
They wouldn’t think we’d be doing it out here, would they? Dane gives me a look that I can only interpret as “Of course they would if we’re out here for much longer.”
With a grin, Dane grabs hold of my hand and leads me back through the trees. My legs wobble like a newborn lambs as I come down from the high that is Dane, and I find myself tripping on roots every few steps. The fear I felt before remains in the background, overshadowed by my elation and the equally electrified smugness coming from Dane.
His deep laugh rings through the night as we reenter the clearing, hand in hand. We maneuver through the dispersing crowds and back toward our team, earning a dark glare from Sabrina.
I stick my tongue out at her, earning a disgusted scoff, then whisper to Dane, “Seriously. What’s her deal? She’s been on my ass since I got here.”
“You know she’s Dec’s fiancé, but ever since you arrived, you’ve drawn his attention, and she hates that. He’s had to pander to her needs for years because his father pawned her on him, but he’s never loved her. I think if he could end their engagement, he would do it in a heartbeat.”
Oh. As we enter the group, I can’t help but feel sorry for the guy as she clings to him like a baby koala to its mother. Needy, much?
Dane snickers behind me; he must have shared what I was feeling with the guys, as they begin to laugh too. Even Declan’s lips twitch as his eyes meet mine.
“We’re going to head back to the house. Do you guys want to come back with us or are you staying here for a bit longer?” Dane asks, and Paxton and
Rory immediately jump to their feet and walk away, their expressions ones of relief.
A shutter falls over Declan’s eyes as he pats Sabrina’s hand. “I’ll wait until you’re finished hosting the party, then I’ll walk you home.”
She shoots me a smug smile, and I give her a quizzical look before shaking my head. “Okay,” I sing as I turn on my heel to follow Paxton and Rory. “Just don’t blame yourself when you come back to a barren kitchen!”
He glares at me, and I grin back. “Just kidding, I’ll save you something. You’ll need something sweet after being with that sour patch. Or you could just roll in sugar, because—”
Dane clamps a hand over my mouth before pushing me forward at a breakneck speed, not before Sabrina’s eyes fill with hatred. Dane’s deep chuckle fills my ears when we’re a safe distance away from them. “You really don’t know when to call it quits, do you?”
I shrug as he slows down our pace when we catch up with the guys. “Eh. She deserved it. Even though Declan can be a bit of a hard ass, he doesn’t deserve to be with someone like that. I wouldn’t wish her on my most hated—” My words are cut off as his lips brush against mine once again, and I’m helpless to stop him. I mean, who would?
Idiots. That’s who. I may not be a good person, but I’m certainly not stupid.
A whisper of outrage escapes my lips as he pulls back too soon, and his eyes twinkle. Then he spins on his heel and whistles as he walks away, leaving me shivering with want in the moonlight.
How can someone feel so good and so bad at the same time? It’s like I’m being pulled in two different directions, and I don’t know what’s right or wrong anymore.
“Mistress, I really tried not to intrude on you tonight, and I didn’t want to butt in on your extracurricular night activities, but your emotions…” Lore trails off, and her amusement and worry flow through me. “You are in trouble.”
“Shut up.” I bite my lip and watch Dane continue his slow-paced walk, whereas I remain rooted to the ground.
I am so screwed.
Chapter 14
“So how was your night?” I ask with a wide grin as Declan pours himself a generous mug of coffee. His dry look says it all.
When we finally arrived home, we’d decided to have a slumber party in the living room. PJs, movies, and so much sugar, I’m pretty sure I’m sweating crystals out of my pores. The jokes, the laughter… It made me realize I’d never really had friends, especially ones my own age. Everything is so easy with the guys. There’s no need to try to be something I’m not. I don’t have to pretend to be good. I don’t have to hide. Well, not everything, anyway.
“Oh, it was peachy,” Declan mutters as he sips on his mug, leaning against the counter, and I can’t help but appreciate the way his muscles flex under his shirt.
Bad, Serena. Bad… Keep looking. I snicker to myself and hide my smile behind my own cup. Declan rolls his eyes and runs his hand through his unkempt hair.
“I spent the entire time being smothered to death, and when I finally come home, you’re all dead in the living room with popcorn scattered across the floor.” His eyes flick to the living room where Dane, Paxton, and Rory are still knocked out. Popcorn still litters much of the living room from our popcorn fight.
The entire night had been simple, easy fun. No one had to die. No one had to get hurt. It had been nice, and when I’d finally fallen asleep, I’d been cocooned in a sea of blankets and so many emotions, I’m surprised Dane could even sleep so close to me.
The clatter of a mug being set down on the bench draws my attention back to Declan, his eyes taking in my smile. “You look happy.”
I tilt my head to the side and digest his words. “Maybe? I guess I didn’t expect to be happy here. But I think it might be possible.” Heat floods my cheeks as he raises his eyebrow, and the memory Dane’s lips on mine fills my mind.
Warmth spreads across my back, and a familiar earthy smell swirls around me. Speak of the devil.
Dane’s arms wrap around me as he rests his cheek on my head. “Why didn’t you wake me?”
“Because you were out like a light? And I figured you’d need the sleep, seeing as it’s training day today,” I reply, my eyes lifting to Declan’s as he watches us closely.
Dane harrumphs before walking around the counter to pour himself a cup of coffee, only to pout like a stubborn child upon realizing there’s none left. After peering into Declan’s cup, he picks it up and downs the rest, earning an eye roll from Declan before he turns to the machine to make another pot.
They’re so comfortable with each other… My mouth falls open as my gaze flicks between them, and their easy-going nature. No freaking way. Dane and Declan? Is that who he’s been freaky between the sheets with?
Sensing my surprise, Dane barks out a laugh, his dark hair falling around his face. “A wise man never kisses and tells.” His smirk grows as I narrow my eyes, glancing between them every few moments. Declan watches us for a few beats, then Dane wraps his arm around Dec’s waist, dropping his head onto his shoulder.
“What are you doing?” Paxton asks through a yawn. His eyes move from Declan and Dane’s warm embrace to the pot of coffee before giving me a soft smile. “Morning, Serena.”
I grin as he turns away to get himself a mug, loving the fact that he’s becoming comfortable enough to talk to me—or it could also be the fact he doesn’t sleep with a shirt on.
Heat flares through me as Paxton peers over his shoulder, catching me ogling at his muscled back. Yep, I’m going straight to hell. I kiss one guy and appreciate the next.
A familiar snicker fills the air, drawing everyone’s attention to Dane, but his sole focus is on me as he waggles his eyebrows. “Am I not enough for you, Serena?” he purrs, and I want to sink through the bar stool and into the ground as the others look on with a mixture of amusement and embarrassment.
What I would give to be able to curse him again.
As if reading my thoughts, Dane pushes Declan in front of him, and I roll my eyes. “That wouldn’t stop me from cursing you. Not by a long shot.”
I hop from the stool and skirt around the group to place my cup in the dishwasher, Dane continuing to use Declan as a human shield. I call to the curse itching on my fingertips, project an image of what I want, and allow for it to float down to lie dormant in the ground.
“Why aren’t you coming to today’s training session?” Declan asks.
I look away from his prying gaze. “I need to head to the library this morning with Lore and Keaira to do some research.” I hate lying to them, but it’s for their own good this time. I need to do this.
Three sets of eyes narrow on me, and from the hard set of their jaws, I know they heard the lie in my words. But Declan nods first. “Okay. But be back this afternoon by… one? We need to discuss a few things and work on training together as a team.”
“Will do,” I reply and carefully release the breath I’d been holding. Picking up my backpack from where I’d dropped it after yesterday’s studying session, I head toward the front door, pausing only to watch Keaira slope down the stairs toward me.
God she’s getting big. Gone was the small kitten that could sit and curl up on my shoulder, in her place, a small panther. I wonder how much more she’s going to grow. It’s not like we have the room for a lion.
“So, what happened between you and Serena last night?” Declan asks, and I pause as I wait to hear Dane’s reply.
“Serena is an odd woman,” he says softly, and I frown as I struggle to listen in. “She didn’t know we aren’t entirely monogamous or that we aren’t hung up on gender. She fears the forest at night. And she doesn’t think she deserves to be happy because of all the bad things she’s had to do to survive.”
The kitchen grows quiet, but the pounding of the blood rushing through my ears is deafening. Why would he tell them that?
“And Paxton? Put a shirt on around my girl. I’m the only one she should be looking at,” he jokes, and the others laug
h.
His girl? I’m no one’s. Not yet, anyway. I call to the curse beneath the ground and will for it to enter Dane, which it does happily.
A smirk pulls at my lips as I softly open the door and shut it behind me. “Serves him right,” I mutter as I loop my thumbs through the shoulder straps of my bag and head up the path toward the academy.
“Serena!” Dane yells from the house, and I hurry far away from the house with Keaira hot on my heels. The heat in my cheeks begins to die as the cool morning air swirls around me.
“Mistress,” Lore sighs. “Did you really have to do that?”
The image I’d used to create my curse pops into my mind, and my laughter helps to ease the burden I carry on my soul. “What’s funnier than Dane with no dick? Dane with boobs.”
She sighs and mutters, “You’re such a child.” But I can hear the amusement in her words as we run up the stairs of the school and down the hall toward the library.
“I’m not a toy that can be claimed… And besides,” I grin as I picture Dane with his new assets. “He’s his own woman now.”
Lore and Keaira laugh as I open the library door, and a sense of dread fills me when I’m reminded of our true purpose.
I sit in the library, watching Lore as she pours over book after book, until I’m sure the boys are well in the midst of training. Then I pick up my bag, untouched since I entered, and quietly slip out of the academy and back home.
I slow to a creep as I make it to our street and watch the house carefully, making sure no heads pop up over the garden wall to see me, or peer out of the curtains to watch me approach the porch. I can hear commotion coming from our backyard; shouts and the clang of metal on metal and metal on wood.
When I reach the front door, I place both hands on it as I twist the handle slowly and open it. Keaira shoots inside first, and I follow her, timing my close of the door with the clash of swords, then head up the stairs, once again avoiding all of the creaking floorboards, until I’m at my room. I slip inside and lock the door.
Cursed Magic: A Paranormal Academy Romance (Daughter of Nyx Series Book 1) Page 14