by Sarah Noffke
My breathing is still bordering on hyperventilation. I push back on my heels. In the distance a figure breaks through the haze. I don’t jump, as I would have expected, fearing Zhuang has returned to finish me off. My sharp focus recognizes the figure as not human, but still my brain doesn’t fully register what I’m seeing. It lifts its veil of feathers a few inches in the air and shakes them into a vertical wall. I bow my head.
“So it was you.” It isn’t a question and there’s no answer. The peacock’s display glides back behind its body in one smooth movement and the bird slips behind a large tree.
“Thank you.” My voice falls short in the damp surroundings. It feels good to have no echo.
Chapter Forty-Seven
According to Ren, returning to my body is the best way to throw Zhuang off my scent. Maybe then I can track down Joseph and save him. Maybe I can start again and actually trap Zhuang. I hold onto this hope like a four-leaf clover and travel to one of the GAD-C locations.
Cramped darkness surrounds me like a heavy cloak when I arrive in the room. A faint red light shines over a labeled box. Inside I find something I expect—a flashlight—and something I don’t—a note. I switch on the light and open the note. I recognize the handwriting. Aiden’s.
Roya, if you’re reading this then you’re desperate. Don’t give up. A part of you which you’ve deemed defensive might be your greatest weapon. Use it. I need you to return to the Institute to complicate my world.
Desire fills my stomach, giving me an odd confidence. Emotions are great motivators. I push the note into my pocket. Without hesitation I focus on regenerating my body using the same procedures Amber taught me. I don’t have time to double check the readings though. I grab the button attached to the wire and pray for the second time that day. The button is stiff, most likely from disuse.
Nothing happens. It didn’t work. I brace myself for the complication, the result of not aligning one of the settings correctly. Then a flash of light assaults my vision, penetrating the deepest part of my retina. Like two polar magnets being drawn to each other, my body and consciousness pull together. The light radiates through the darkness, blinding me. I’ve never done this union in a darkened room. Is the light me? That flash, is it my consciousness? The way my physical form perceives it? It’s beautiful. The light fades like clouds receding after a storm.
I throw myself off the table and hurry down a dark hallway. I need to get away from the GAD-C and figure out a plan. The hallway ends without warning. A single push-bar door stands before me. Without a second thought I shove through it and into the night air. The walls of the building disappear, leaving me sprinting across a catwalk with water on either side. Scanning my location, I realize I’m in a water purification plant.
It isn’t until I near the end of the walkway that I turn, sensing his evil eyes lurking on my back. How did he track me so quickly? This is useless. I’m outmatched.
I don’t see Zhuang, though. I think I’m imagining things until he begins to take shape. His body fills in like pixels on a screen, layer upon layer until he stands solid. His opaque presence takes up space. Above him the sky shines orange and pink. The sun’s about to rise.
I turn and continue sprinting, not caring that I’m obviously running from this fight. I have to get away from Zhuang and find Joseph. Then we can return to the Institute.
“You’ll want to know,” his voice echoes behind me, “his wounds are fatal.”
I halt.
“I wish I could confirm he’s in fact dead,” Zhuang says from the far end of the catwalk. “I can’t. All I can say is I am pretty certain I hit a major organ. I could not stay to watch him die, since I needed to make sure you didn’t get back to your precious Institute.
“Unlucky for you, your death is going to be much more painful than I planned. I was trying to make it easy by putting you under while I sucked out your consciousness. Now I’ll have to do it while you’re fully awake and this is much more taxing for the both of us.” He grimaces. “I’m not sorry to tell you this is going to feel like I’m pulling your brain out through the pores of your skin. Any death you could have imagined would have been better than this.”
“Well, at least it will be strenuous on you as well,” I say, grinding my teeth together.
Cracking the knuckles of his left hand with his right he says, “Undeniably it could be quite the costly effort on my part, more so than any other I’ve had to endure thus far. But I do have another plan for how I can save myself too much mental anguish from the feat of acquiring your consciousness.”
The gravity of the situation simultaneously drains my morale and my strength. “And what’s that?” I ask.
“I’ll beat you until you’re senseless.” He sneers. “You won’t relinquish your mental faculties easily, but if you’re bleeding internally I think you’ll be more inclined to let go.”
Suddenly the sleeping potion he gave me earlier sounds like a picnic. I’m not certain I should have thanked my spirit animal or cursed it. I swallow down my revulsion and push my words out like pieces of flesh I’ve been forced to regurgitate. “Well, get on with it then.”
Chlorine laced with algae hits my nose, reminding me of the lake where I grew up. The slick catwalk under my feet greets me oddly. And the detail of every object within 300 yards intensifies in my vision. In that instant I have no doubt I should rush forward, meeting this demon halfway. If I’m going to die then I need to fight first. And if he’s going to take my power then he’s going to damn well earn it.
I charge, feeling the wind on my face, seeing the glow of the sunrise, and tasting the pureness of the water under my feet. Zhuang soars through the air with a flying kick. I brace myself with a two-handed block. My blocks are strong. I should be able to take his strength, or at least hold my ground. Instead it slams me to the catwalk in a mass of disorder and I slide several feet.
Lying numb and lame on the ground, too ashamed to pull my head from the metal where I rest, I confirm what I suspected: Joseph is gone. A cave opens in my chest, swallowing my heart in one giant breath.
My energy level, strength, and speed are all significantly less. I’m no better than a Middling at this point. Still, I must fight. I force myself into a fighting stance.
Before I’m ready Zhuang charges. His punches assault me all over. I fail to parry any of his attacks at first. But my training is still intact and so once I regain my footing, even after being battered multiple times, I’m able to block a few of his blows. His movements are quick, like the spark that ignites a match, rapid and dangerous.
My slow reflexes witness every attack a second too late, giving my body zero time to defend. A single punch launches from his fist and jars my teeth as it connects. It’s impossible to keep up with the directions of his arms, let alone plan offensives. This is a joke. I take blows all over. The pain sears in my head. Each strike makes my body weaker and gives my consciousness another reason to dream travel away from all of this. I want to, but I can’t do anything except try to maintain my footing. Besides, I know he’ll just follow me.
Disappointment swells in my gut as I realize I’ll fail the Lucidites as their challenger. I’d known this on some level all along. Of course I can’t kill Zhuang. I’m just Roya Stark. I was born for lesser purposes than banishing evil. I’d squat and pee on evil. I’d make it recoil. I’d challenge it. Sure, that’s possible. But my job isn’t to rid the world of its problems. That’s better served by those with superior bloodlines and purer hearts and intelligent minds. I’m Roya Stark, hardly anyone at all. Truthfully I don’t know who I am. I didn’t know my mother, hardly knew my brother, and everything else is as much a mystery as this facade I’ve been living in for the last few weeks.
Blood now covers my face. The heat rises to the top of my head. I wish I’d died in the forest from the poison. That would have been better than dancing around in a drunken haze while Zhuang bruised every inch of my skin. The only thing I commend myself on is I push up after every
blow or remain in a somewhat standing position. I take each attack as honorably as I can.
At long last Zhuang grips my throat in his hands and presses his palms down firmly, cutting off my air. Finally.
The blackness begins to take over my vision. First in spots, creeping in from the edges and spreading until it meets itself. Everything goes black. I hear him breathe. Feel the air on my skin. But my vision is walled behind my heavy eyelids, the first symptom I’m about to slip away. My last bit of consciousness recognizes a shock radiating from my bracelet. It feels like electricity as it courses through my blood. Aiden’s words rush through me: A part of you which you’ve deemed defensive might be your greatest weapon. Use it.
Zhuang’s hands tighten on my neck. My eyelids fly open. With a jerk I reach out for him. My hands claw against his face. The voltage intensifies in my bracelet.
Seconds before I’m about to pass out, Zhuang lets me slide from his hands and tumble to the ground. Standing over me laughing, almost giddy, and unscathed from our battle, he toes my lifeless form. “You’re a pitiful warrior.” He spits. A dozen sarcastic retorts come to my mind, but they all remain buried in me as I lay on the ground in a heap of desolation.
My eyes flutter open every now and then, like a strobe light catching images. Zhuang paces the catwalk, impatience in his footsteps. I sense he’s measuring my resolve, deciding if he must inflict more physical damage to get at what he truly desires. I push my feet underneath me. Pride feeds my strength now. I know what he wants and I have to die protecting it, otherwise many more will be doomed.
He laughs. He growls. “Little girl, you’re out of options. There are no more weapons coming. Your friends have deserted you. You’re too weak to do anything. Die with integrity. Now it’s time.”
I flip my head up, mustering strength from the depths of my soul. Fire burns my eyes and I roar, “There’s always an option!” Then I run, harder and faster than ever before. I don’t care why they chose me or if they knew my tumultuous fate. I’ll die for these people. Willingly I’ll lay down my life for them. Because I’m a Lucidite. I must protect…
Music plays in my head, propelling me farther, faster. Zhuang cackles gruffly. I know he thinks I’ll run into him and crumble like a brick wall. Instead, when we collide I shoot my wrist forward, sending my bracelet into his chest. The pulse intensifies each fraction of a second until it’s all-encompassing. Electricity originating from my protective charm wraps all around us, like a cocoon built for two. I’m not sure why this happens, but for some reason when my bracelet connects with Zhuang it radiates electricity. Tons of electricity. We both fry under the charge.
With my last bit of momentum I thrust us through the barrier and we fall into one of the tanks. The water engulfs us, intensifying the overwhelming charge. My brain is on fire. Everything burns.
Zhuang tries to escape, wresting away from my grasp several times. I seize him each time, ensuring he stays connected to my bracelet—the epicenter of the electrical storm besieging us. After multiple attempts he stops fighting, probably because like me he’s dying from the shock. I watch Zhuang convulse and we sink deeper into the clear abyss. The water around us boils. It swims into my ears and nose. My bracelet, still on his chest, glows bright red. He’s burning from the inside out. So am I. If the electricity doesn’t kill me then the water will. In the end, just like the recurring dream, I’m going to drown…willingly. I entered this water knowing there was no coming out. I guess I always knew it would end this way.
I watch him fry for what feels like an eternity. If he’s watching the electricity course through me then I can’t see it. His black eyes are impossible to read. Finally, I unclasp my fingers from Zhuang. He floats away. Unable to move my aching limbs I drift, not up, just further from the sinking man’s body. The water doesn’t burn my eyes as they scan the large tank. The surface of the water is too far to reach in my current state. With only one thing left to do I close my eyes.
Although spasms run through my muscles, I force out the pain, the fire, the burning—and focus. Harder than ever before I replace the pain with focus. I replace the water in my mind with focus.
Unable to control it, my lips part and water pours in my mouth, down my throat, into my lungs. Still I remain focused. Now is not the time to panic. Now is the time to let go.
Just as I’m about to die, the waters around me recede. My bracelet is an instant anchor. My skin is still on fire, but it’s my eyes that burn the most. A blue light seeps into my consciousness, accompanied by a loud noise. A familiar jerk in my body, but I’m too far gone to place it. Forever and ever I want to float in the comfortable darkness that creeps into my mind and invites me to join it. I extend my hand to greet it, but a shock forces me to recoil.
First I hear music, then panicked words. I can’t open my eyes. The light is too agonizing even with my lids closed. How can I ever open them again?
Someone pumps my chest. Next their mouth is on mine. Urgent screams. My lungs inflate. Again and again and again and again someone compresses my chest. It isn’t working though. I’m going to die. I was in the water too long. I hadn’t traveled in time. I accept this. The darkness surrounding me is perfect, like a warm quilt on the coldest winter night. I reach out and grab it, wrap it around my body. It’s such a relief to finally die.
“No, Roya, you can’t give up! Don’t!” the voice cries from a distant part of a strange dream.
I ignore the voice. I ignore the intense burning in my core. And float away. I’m tired, so tired of fighting.
“Please…” he pleads erratically before pumping my chest and blowing sweet air into my mouth.
I taste his breath, but only in the ethereal sense. I’m already halfway down the staircase to the valley of death. The darkness cloaks me and I begin to float…
Chapter Forty-Eight
I’ve died and been sentenced to hell. The darkness has delivered me to an unbearable fate, where I’ll burn in torment. One in which fire radiates from my chest and sears up my throat. If I was alive and could scream I would, but instead I explode into the darkness, clawing at it, trying to free myself.
My mind and heart barrel forward, begging to be pardoned. I am at the altar asking for forgiveness or penance or whatever will rescue me from the agonizing pain. I strike against the darkness, certain I’ve been unfairly damned. My fists repeatedly strike a wall until it relents. Water explodes through the cracks. Astonished and confused, I witness the water burst, but not from the wall, from me. It shoots from my lungs, through my throat, and out. Time ceases to exist. I urge the water to stop exploding, but still I erupt like a volcano, burning and engulfed by the flames within me.
The fire smolders until my eyelids flutter open and I recognize the world around me. A human one. Everything’s completely out of focus but still I recognize it. Blurry shapes move far away and then closer. My eyes shut and I fall into a dreamless sleep.
♦
The music isn’t what wakes me. It’s the fingers on my pulse. He’s a stranger. Through blurry vision I see him hold my wrist and then eye his watch. His cold stethoscope makes my chest feel bare, vulnerable. He says something, but I can’t process it, not yet. I fight to push up from the hard surface underneath me. The man turns and speaks, his voice deep. “She’s awake. I’ll send in the others.” He disappears.
With excruciating effort, I sit up and force my eyes to focus. Gradually the blurry masses of colors take shape, until the details of the room are clear. From the corner of my vision I see him advancing on me. Aiden’s movements are gradual, but swift. He rushes without running. I push up as he closes the last bit of space between us. His eyes are urgent, mixed with relief. It’s a sobering expression.
I’ve just dug my way out of a steep grave. And it isn’t until he wraps his arms around me that I truly know I’m alive. Maybe I haven’t lived until this moment, because I don’t remember ever feeling my heart so intensely. It thumps against Aiden’s chest. Each beat surreal.
Aiden draws back. He brushes a rogue piece of hair away from my face. “I told you I’d be here when you awoke.”
Biting my lip, I try to locate my missing breath. “Aiden,” I whisper.
He leans into me, and like I’m possessed by a magnetic force I simultaneously lean into him, erasing all boundaries. He stops only an inch from my face, his expression intense. Never before has one look communicated so much. Longing. Attraction. The definition of all those words explained perfectly in his gaze. He draws his hand up and cups my face, pulling me into him.
Our lips are less than half an inch apart. He pauses, but it isn’t because he’s asking permission or uncertain of his next move. He’s making every second count. Closing his blue eyes he softly lays his lips against mine. My aching lungs gasps as my heart races. His mouth tastes like desire. His lips dull the ache. His touch masks my pain and I’m undeserving, but I don’t care. I selfishly pull him in closer, needing this intimate moment to refill my soul. My hands find his hair and with greedy fingers gently tug. Each movement is both tender and wild, making me breathless for more. His lips kiss the corner of my mouth, my jaw, my neck. There he freezes. I listen to his breath. Feel it tickle my skin. A second later he levels his gaze to mine and I have to fight the urge to pull him closer. He looks to be fighting a similar impulse, which is maybe why he edges away. Immediately I want him back, close to me, making me warm with his arms, his passion. Aiden glances nervously over his shoulder. Someone’s coming. That’s what the voice had said when I awoke.
My senses are gradually returning. I’m in Aiden’s lab, perched on the GAD-C. Squeezing my eyes shut, I allow the most recent events to drift back to me. He generated my body. His were the lips that breathed air into my lungs. His hands were the ones that pushed into my chest. He was the one who wouldn’t give up, although I was dying.