“I suppose that’s true, but I do have one other concern. You want the surrogate to live with you in your home, that’s a little bit unorthodox. Most of these women have families and jobs, not to mention that they might not be comfortable moving into a strange man’s house,” the woman said, a frown on her face.
“I’m not willing to budge on that condition. I’m willing to pay whatever it takes to make this happen, and it’s not like I live in a two-bedroom house. She’ll have plenty of privacy, an entire wing of the house all to herself.”
“Hmm, I suppose we could get past that, but there’s something else that I’m worried about,” she said, forcing another sigh from Theo, which she clearly heard. “Mr. Taylor, I understand your frustration, but it’s my job to match you with a surrogate and I’d hate to waste both your time and mine when I’m not sure we can find someone who matches what you’re looking for.”
“I didn’t think this was going to be so complicated,” Theo said, trying to find some patience.
“Mr. Taylor, any surrogacy is a complicated situation, but what you’re asking for makes it even more complicated. I don’t know if I can find a woman who would be willing to carry your baby for nine months and then just walk away. We encourage a close relationship between the surrogate and the family, it makes the transition easier for everyone,” the woman explained.
“But I’m not interested in that kind of relationship, once the baby is born I have no interest in continuing the relationship,” he said, thinking that he’d hit another dead end.
“I’ll see what I can do, but I’m not making any promises,” the woman said, turning to her computer. After a lengthy search, she finally pulled one file out of the cabinet behind her. “I do have one candidate that might fit your criteria, she hasn’t been through the full screening yet since I didn’t think we’d be able to match her with a family.”
“Why? What’s wrong with her?” Theo asked, immediately suspicious.
“Well, nothing’s wrong with her, it’s just that she’s single and her answers to our questionnaire weren’t exactly what we look for,” the woman said, then began flipping through the pages of Amanda’s questionnaire. “Now I remember, she states in here that she doesn’t want a long-term relationship with the surrogate family, and as I said before that’s something we encourage. But she might just be the perfect match for you.”
Theo felt a bit of hope for the first time since he’d started the surrogacy process. “Then set up a meeting with her or whatever it is we’re supposed to do,” he said, suddenly impatient.
“It’s a bit too soon for that, we have to finish the screening process. She still needs to meet with the psychologist, have a background check done, and a full physical. It will take at least two weeks to get all that done, then if everything goes right I’ll set up a meeting.”
“I’ll pay whatever it costs to get this done,” Theo said, thinking to grease the wheels.
“I’m afraid it’s not a matter of money, Mr. Taylor. This process is very important, it gives the surrogate the time she needs to really understand what she’d getting herself into, there’s no rushing the process. But I will call her as soon as you leave and see how quickly I can get her in here.”
Theo got to his feet. “Then I’ll let you get to it,” he said, holding out his hand.
The woman shook his hand, thinking that it seemed impossible that this handsome man couldn’t find a woman who was willing to spend her life with him. There had to be hundreds who would have been happy to call this man theirs, but that was none of her business, he wanted a surrogate and she’d do all that she could for him just as she would have for any other client. With the money he had, the child would certainly grow up with everything it needed and more.
Chapter 2
Amanda sat down on the couch again wishing that she hadn’t been so early, but she’d wanted to make a good impression on the couple who were interested in her so she’d given herself plenty of time to get here. Now she’d been alternating between looking out the window and sitting nervously on the couch, neither doing much good to calm her pounding heart. There was so much riding on the next few hours, and she’d been through so much to get here that it was impossible not to be nervous.
When the door finally opened, she jumped to her feet disappointed when it wasn’t the couple she was supposed to meet but a single man. They stood looking at each other from across the room for a few long minutes, and the first thing she noticed was how handsome he was, and a little thrill of attraction gave her goosebumps. Thinking how silly she was, after all she was about to be impregnated with another couple’s child, the last thing she should be thinking about was men, she stepped closer to him.
“I’m waiting to meet the couple I’ve been matched with,” she said, then added. “I’m Amada Grady.”
The man was still staring at her. “But you’re… I mean…. You’re African American, but I guess it doesn’t matter,” the man stammered. Then he seemed to collect his thoughts. “I’m sorry. I’m Theo Taylor and I think I’m who you’re supposed to be meeting.”
Amanda stared at him, his comment about the color of her skin instantly putting her on her guard. “You? Where is your wife? I thought I was meeting a couple,” she said, trying to make sense of what was happening.
“I don’t have a wife,” Theo said, a scowl on his face, then realized that it wasn’t the woman’s fault that no one had told him that she was dark skinned.
“No one told me,” Amada said, feeling a bit uncomfortable all of a sudden, but then she realized that the man was probably gay. It made perfect sense. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you, I just didn’t think, that, well.” She didn’t finish, not sure how to say what she was thinking.
“That a single man would want a child?” Theo asked, beginning to enjoy the way the woman’s embarrassment was making her cheeks turn pink.
Amanda could feel how hot her cheeks were and cursed her tendency to blush. “I guess it’s none of my business,” she said, hoping he’d take that as an apology.
Theo opened his mouth to reply, but just then the woman they’d been working with at the agency came through the door. “Well, I see you two have met,” she said, setting the tray she’d been carrying down on the table. “I’ve brought coffee or tea and some sandwiches. I thought a little snack might be nice while you’re getting to know one another.”
Amanda looked at the food and knew that she’d never be able to eat a single bite, her stomach was so tied in knots it would probably come right back up if she tried. “Thank you, but I think I’ll just have some tea for now,” she said, relieved to have someone else in the room.
“I’ll have coffee,” Theo said, waving his hand at the woman. “Cream, no sugar.”
Amanda wasn’t sure she liked the way he was treating the woman, the man seemed cold and she wondered again why a single man would be using a surrogate. But she let the woman settle her in a comfortable chair across from the one she’d put Theo in. After she’d gotten herself a cup of coffee, she sat down with them, shuffled through some papers, then with a satisfied smile looked from one of them to the other.
“First, let me formally introduce you two. Amanda Grady, I’d like you to meet Theo Taylor,” she said, putting a lot of emphasis on Theo’s name as if Amanda should recognize it. When she didn’t, the woman added, “He’s the CEO of Taylor Fisheries and Shipping.”
The name still didn’t mean anything to Amanda but she smiled and nodded her head. “That’s nice,” she said, not sure what else to say.
“Amanda works in publishing,” the woman said to Theo.
“That’s nice. Do you think we might be able to speed this up just a bit? I have other appointments today,” Theo said, looking at his watch.
Amanda considered getting up and walking out of the room right then; the man was more than just a little bit rude and there was no way she’d be able to put up with that for nine months. She’d expected to come to this meeting toda
y and meet a nice couple who would be thankful to her, not this rude man who clearly shouldn’t have a child. But then she remembered why she was there and took a calming breath, it’s not like she’d been spending that much time with him.
“I’m sorry, Mr. Taylor, but these things take time, but I will leave you two alone now to get to know one another. If you need anything just pick up the phone on the desk and ask for me, they’ll ring you through to my office,” the woman said, then walked out the door, closing it softly behind her.
The silence in the room after the woman left was growing uncomfortable when Theo finally said, “I’m going to be brutally honest with you, Ms. Grady. I’m here because I want a child, which I’m sure is obvious, but I’m not your normal surrogate parent, which I’m sure is also clear to you.” He paused, trying to remember the speech he’d prepared.
With Amanda’s brown eyes on him, he suddenly found himself tongue tied. “What I’m trying to say is that I’m not looking for a huge emotional bond with my surrogate. I don’t want the warm fuzzy life-long bond that they keep talking about,” he finally managed to say, wincing when it came out much colder than he’d planned.
Amanda shivered a little at the harshness of his voice, but had to admit that what he was proposing was exactly what she wanted as well. “That is perfectly fine with me, Mr. Taylor. We can have as little contact as you’d like.”
Theo studied her for a long time, then seemed to come to some kind of a conclusion because he nodded his head. “Good, I’m glad we agree. But it does make me wonder why you’ve chosen to do this. Most of the questionnaires I’ve read say lots of gushy stuff about making a family whole and creating a life-long bond with the surrogate parents. You don’t mention anything like that in yours, in fact I noticed that you sidestepped that question.”
Amanda considered not answering but decided that he had a right to know what her motivation was, not matter how stupid it was going to sound to him. “I want to write a novel and this will finance at least of year of time for me to do that,” she said, meeting his eyes, then wishing she hadn’t when her heart began to pitter-patter and not from nerves.
He looked her up and down as if it would tell him more about her. “I see, you’re a writer? Is this some kind of research? I wouldn’t want my life showing up on bookshelves in a couple of years.”
Amanda hadn’t even thought of writing about her experience. “I don’t write those kinds of books, my books are historical murder mysteries,” she said, making it sound like she’d written lots of books.
“I see,” he said again, making her want to scream.
Instead, she said, “I, like you, want to keep this purely professional, when it’s all over we’ll go our separate ways.”
“Good. Then let’s discuss my other requirements,” Theo said, handing her a sheet of paper. “I think you’ll see that most of them are common sense.”
Amanda looked over the list, thinking that he must think that she was an idiot, otherwise he wouldn’t have made the list. But then the last item on the page caught her eye. “You want me to move into your house?” she asked, shocked; that had certainly never been part of the plan.
“Yes, I’d like to keep an eye on you, an eye on my child. I think it makes perfect sense,” he said, shrugging his shoulders.
“I don’t even know you,” Amanda said, thinking about how uncomfortable it would be to share a house with a man she didn’t even know.
“If your concerned with your safety, I promise you that you’ll be perfectly safe, my housekeeper Angel will be there most of the time and the house is quite large. You’ll have plenty of privacy and if you like I can have a room set up as an office so you can write,” Theo said, as if the whole thing made perfect sense.
“I don’t know, I didn’t think I would…” Amanda needed some time to process this latest snag in her plan.
“Here’s the contract I’ve drawn up,” Theo said, handing her another sheet of paper.
When she saw the dollar amount on the bottom line, she couldn’t help but gasp. “This is far more than the agency said I would get,” she said, beginning to feel suspicious.
“I can see that you’re still not sure, so let me assure you that you’re perfectly safe with me, all I want is a child of my own. There will be other people in the house with us and I’ll be away a lot so you won’t see me that much,” Theo said, beginning to think that this wasn’t going to work after all.
It was then that Amanda understood; the man was gay, the in the closet kind of gay. That explained everything, why he didn’t just adopt, why he didn’t want the surrogate in his life after the baby was born. Feeling much better now that she understood, her doubts began to fade, it might be nice to live in the kind of house this man must own, and the money he was offering was twice what she’d thought it would be.
“Okay, I’ll do it,” she said, surprising him with her abrupt change of attitude.
It took a second for her words to sink in, when he’d started this journey he’d never been completely sure that it would actually happen, but now it looked like he’d get what he wanted, a child to love. His only regret was the wave of desire that passed over him when Amanda smiled, he’d been fighting the feeling since he’d walked in the door, confused by its intensity of the feeling, and very aware that it wasn’t an appropriate way to be feeling.
The last thing he needed was to become emotionally involved with her, she was his surrogate and nothing more, but that didn’t stop his body to responding when she got up and walked across the room. Her generous curves filled out the dress pants and blouse she wore, the gauzy fabric of the shirt concealing just enough to have him wondering what was underneath.
Her voice brought him back from the thoughts that had been forming in his mind. “What do we do now?” she asked.
“I think we have to tell that annoying woman what we’ve decided,” Theo said, pointing to the phone on the desk.
Two weeks later, Amanda sat nervously in her chair wondering why she hadn’t thought about what this part of the pregnancy would be like. Going to the doctor was uncomfortable enough, but Theo had insisted that he go with her, explaining that he didn’t want to miss anything. She had no choice but to agree, after all it was going to be his child and he was paying her to do this, but that didn’t mean that she had to like it.
When they called them back to the room, the first nurse started things out badly by asking how long they’d been married. “Oh, we’re not married,” Theo said, striding into the exam room like he owned it.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” the nurse said, blushing.
“It’s okay. Amanda is my surrogate,” Theo explained, not noticing the look the nurse shot Amanda.
“It’s a bit of an unusual situation, but it’s what works best for Theo,” Amanda said, wondering how many times they were going to have to explain.
The nurse looked at him, then her eyes got big. “I understand,” she said, nodding at Amanda.
After explaining the whole thing again to the doctor, Amada wished that Theo would just say that he was gay, it would make things so much easier. But it was clear that he wasn’t going to do that, so she’d have to play along with his ruse, there was nothing else she could do. As comforting as it was to know that Theo wasn’t attracted to women, it didn’t make it any less embarrassing when they began talking about her period, her uterine lining, or her sexual history.
By the time it was over she was so embarrassed, it was all she could do not to cry. Then the doctor got out an exam gown and handed it to her. “Okay, now for the yucky part. Change into that and I’ll be back in a few minutes,” he said, then slipped out the door.
Amanda looked at the gown in her lap, then at Theo. “There’s no way that you’re staying for this part,” she said, pointing to the door.
“Why not? I have every intention of being in the delivery room,” Theo said, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning again the wall.
“We’ll cross that bridge
when we come to it, but for now I’d like to retain at a little of my dignity,” she said, then added, “Please.”
Theo realized what he was asking of her, and showed his human side for the first time. “Okay, I’ll wait out in the hall, but I want back in before you talk to the doctor,” he said, slipping through the door.
Theo stood in the hallway wondering why he’d pushed so hard to stay in the room, he didn’t really want to be in there, wasn’t sure he was going to be in the delivery room. But this had suddenly become so real that he’d panicked for a second and reacted the only way he knew how, by trying to control the situation. His staying in the room wouldn’t have changed anything and only made things worse, made the two of them even more uncomfortable than they already were.
Sitting in the doctor’s office while he questioned Amanda about the most intimate details of her life had not only made him feel like he was intruding but had aroused him. It was the thought of Amanda having sex that had done it, that had gotten him thinking about what it might be like to do this baby thing the old-fashioned way with her. Then the doctor had handed her that gown and for a second all he could think about was getting a glimpse of her ample curves including her full breasts.
Feeling like an idiot, he promised himself that that he’d stay as far away from Amanda as he could, this attraction could ruin the entire thing if he let it get away from him. He had plenty of women in his life, and the first thing he was going to do when they were finished was get a date for that night, remind himself that Amanda was his surrogate and nothing more. When the doctor finally called him into the room, he’d managed to get his libido under control, the stirring in his groin had quieted and he could face Amanda again.
When he walked into the room, the doctor had a huge smile on his face and Amanda looked pale. “I’ve got great news, we can do the implantation in as soon as two weeks. By the end of the month if we’re lucky, you’re little one will be on the way,” he said, patting Theo on the back. “Now you just have to do your part.”
Carry My Baby Page 2