Madi could feel the warmth of the sun on her face. Her body felt comfortable and very at ease. Before she opened her eyes she could smell him. She peaked out just enough to see she was still wrapped in Jake’s arms and still laying on his chest. She had fallen asleep quickly last night even though she had tried to stay awake to take in the moment. Now she didn’t want to move an inch. She took stock of where every part of her body was near his.
Her head was on his chest. He smelled like Jake. It was a smell she would never get enough of. Her bare leg was draped over his. Her hand was on his stomach. It was firm and she could almost feel his abs. She wanted to move her hand and touch him, but she also didn’t want to wake him. She wanted to stay like this for as long as she could. This was exactly where she wanted to be. She could feel his chest rise and fall with every breath he took and her heart ached for more of him. Could she ever be close enough to him? Would she ever be able to get enough of him? Being with him was a need, not a want. Being near him felt right. She loved him. She loved him so much her heart hurt. She wanted to tell him, but he wasn’t ready. She would have to wait.
She stared at her hand. The covers were twisted around them and she could see the strings of his sweats. Madi felt her heart rate increase as she imagined sliding her hand down his stomach into his sweats and touching him. Surely he couldn’t resist that. He was a man. She could sit up and take off her shirt. She could climb on top of him. She could feel herself getting wetter by the second. She was turned on just by being near him. She longed to feel his hands on her. Would he ever touch her? Would he even consider it after what happened yesterday? She had to remind herself that the only reason he was in her bed was because he felt guilty. Did she want to use his guilt to stay near him? No, she wanted him to talk to her. She wanted to help him.
Jake began to stir. Madi moved her hand along his stomach. She couldn’t help herself. It was now or never. His stomach was hard as a rock. She wondered if anything else was as hard.
“G’morning,” he said as he moved slightly.
“You know what I was thinking?” she asked.
“I’m afraid to ask,” he said with a yawn.
“I was thinking that your stomach is really tight and that I like the way it feels under my fingers.” She started to rub her hand over him and he grabbed her arm.
“Don’t… don’t do that,” he laughed.
“Why not, Jake?” She looked up at him through her big eyelashes and he was looking down at her intently.
“Because, it’s morning… and I don’t want you to embarrass yourself.”
“How could I possibly be embarrassed?”
“You’re right… I don’t want to be embarrassed.” He sat up and moved his arm in a circle, trying to get the blood flowing in it again.”
“So was it as good for you as it was for me?” she asked contently.
“Madison Ryan? I’m surprised by your candor this morning. Are you always so outspoken at…” Jake looked at the clock, “10 a.m.?”
“I’m outspoken when I wake up next to a very hot man in the morning.”
Jake chuckled as he rubbed his hair. “I’m pretty sure I’m not too hot right now.”
Madi looked down and felt she needed to say more to him. “Thank you. Thank you for staying with me. I know we’re just friends and that my sleeping on you all night is not really a thing a friend would do, but I want you to know that it meant a lot to me. I couldn’t have done this without you, Jake. I couldn’t have made it through the night. I need you to know… I… I...” Madi wanted to tell him she loved him, but she worried he would run.
“Hey…” Jake leaned down and raised her chin up to look into her eyes. I was glad there was something I could do. It’s not like waking up next to you is that bad.”
She hit him playfully.
“Seriously, I’d do anything for you. This… this was nothing.”
“Did you say anything?” Madi laughed and ran her hand along his thigh.
“Madi! God, you’re such a flirt! I need to get out of this bed right now before I do something we’ll both regret.” Jake stood up and looked down at her. She pouted and he rolled his head back and laughed. “What am I supposed to do with that look?”
“I don’t know, but I told you that I wasn’t giving up on you. At some point you are going to have to stop fighting me and just kiss me already. You’re lucky I’m patient and that I didn’t do what I was thinking of doing before you woke up.”
Jake looked down at her and scanned her body as he took a deep breath. Her legs were bare and intertwined in the sheets.
“I know you’re thinking about it,” she said with a smirk.
“Madi…” Jake said in an exasperated huff as he walked out of the room and into the hall with his hands on his head. Maybe she had gone too far, but damn, she wanted him.
She sat up in bed and every inch of her ached. She looked at her arms. There were more bruises than yesterday and the ones on the insides of her wrists had turned a deeper shade of purple. She instantly wanted to hide them from Jake. He didn’t need to see her that way. Then she heard his voice. He was on the phone. She slowly pulled herself up and put on her robe. She walked toward the kitchen and Jake was pacing.
“She doesn’t need to come down to the station. Why? Wasn’t Trey’s account enough? I don’t give a shit what they want. I’m not putting her through that.”
“Jake?” Madi wanted to know what was going on.
Jake put his hand over the phone.
“Do they need a statement from me?”
“No, I’m not having you do that,” he replied adamantly.
“They need it to put him away. Don’t you watch any TV crime shows?” she said as she slid onto a stool at the island.
“No,” he said sternly with a shake of his head.
“Tell them I want to give a statement. It’s fine. I can do this.”
Jake looked at her hesitantly and sighed into the phone. If they want a statement they’ll have to come to her.
“Tell them I’ll meet them at the arena,” she continued.
He covered the phone once again. “You are not going to work.”
“Yes I am and you can’t stop me.”
Jake looked pissed and he rolled his eyes at her. “Tell them to meet us at the arena at noon.” He hung up the phone and glared at her.
“I want to do this. I want the police to know exactly what he did and I want to press charges.”
“Oh we’re pressing charges all right, but I made sure your name will not be involved. You will not be revealed in the report. No one will be able to search for you. The press will not be involved.”
“Good because the last thing I want is for my parents…” Madi stopped and thought of telling her parents or Kendra for that matter. They would force her to come home and there was no way in hell she was leaving Jake.
“I promised your father I would protect you. He’s going to kill me and rightly so. I believe he said he would rip out my vocal chords if you shed one tear. I’m pretty sure he needs to kill me ten times over by now.”
“No one is going to know, Jake. No one.”
Jake
He had driven her to the arena. Ang came running and threw her arms around her. She told Madi she’d wanted to call her but she wanted to give her some space. Madi nodded and said she was okay and not to worry. Ang asked her why she had come in and Madi said she wanted and needed to work. Jake hovered over her. He wouldn’t take his eyes off of her. He was worried that if he lost sight of her for one second she would get hurt again. Jake remembered how he felt when the security guard came running up to him and told him about Madi. He had never run so fast in his life. He would have died if something had happened to her. He reminded himself how once again, someone he cared about had gotten hurt. Sleeping with her was not a good idea, but she needed him and he couldn’t say no to her. Not last night, probably not ever, unless it meant he was protecting her. Then he would do or say whatever he had
to in order to keep her away from him and keep her safe. He thought of sending her home, but he couldn’t bear to be away from her so he put the thought out of his mind. The police sergeant and another officer came by and they walked into a private room to take her statement. Jake and Ang went with her. Ang sat next to her and held her hand while Jake paced behind the officer with his hands on his head.
“I know this is difficult for you Ms. Ryan, but it’s important we get all the facts so we can prepare a stronger case. This officer will be writing out your statement as you give it. We will also be recording it for accuracy. Once we are finished transcribing it, we will ask you to review and sign it. Okay?”
Madi nodded her head.
“Can you tell me what happened yesterday, from the beginning?”
Madi recounted how she had walked up to her desk with the thought of going home. She put her ID badge in her desk like she had done every night before leaving. She told him how and why Trey left the bus and what the guard looked like. She explained that she wanted to leave to get her ID, but that he wouldn’t let her. “I told him that Trey would be back in a minute and he said that it didn’t give him much time.” She looked up at Jake and he was staring at her. He could feel his face crease with concern.
She told the officer how the guard said she was pretty and smart and that he could see why “he” liked her. She also told him that he said he’d been watching her. Jake could feel himself tense. That was news. He wondered to himself if the threats he had received were related to the attack on Madi. If they were, it was his fault. He should have paid more attention to what Caleb had said. He should have put security on Madi and his family. Once again, he didn’t think.
Madi explained that when she asked who the “he” was, he had told her not to act dumb and that he was talking about Jake. She described how the whole time he spoke, he was looking her up and down and how nervous she felt. She recounted how he had said that Jake “sure had a thing for the pretty ones.” Madi looked up at Jake and he shook his head with disgust. What did he mean by that? How did the guard know who he had a thing for? Who was this guy and why did this feel personal?
Madi related how she had said that Jake was a friend of hers and that she knew he wouldn’t like the way he was speaking to her. She glanced at him and he tried his best to smile in agreement. Not only did he not like the way he had talked to her, he fucking hated it.
Madi paused and the officer asked her to continue, appearing to note how Madi looked to Jake for strength as she spoke. She told the officers how the guard had said that all the girls thought Jake was so great and how they really didn’t know him. The officer asked if those were his exact words. Madi looked down at her hand and Ang patted it reassuringly. She looked up to Jake and he nodded, trying to encourage her to repeat his words. Madi continued, “He said, ‘Do you really know anything about him and what kind of a man he really is?’” Jake felt a pain in his chest. What kind of a man did he think he was? Did he know how Jake had hurt everyone he’d ever cared for? He winced as he heard the words and Madi stood. He walked over to her and placed his hands on her shoulders. “Do you want to stop? Is this too hard for you?
“Is it too hard for you?” she asked through bated breath.
Jake let out a sigh as he looked into her big brown eyes. This amazing girl was replaying the most frightening moment of her life and she was worried about him.
“Madi, please don’t worry about me. I’m fine. I just hate that this happened to you. I hate that you’re afraid. I just want to make it all go away.” He reached up and cupped her face her in hand. She turned into his touch and closed her eyes. The officer cleared his throat and Jake remembered there were other people in the room. He removed his hand and looked to Ang. She gave him a comforting wink as Madi sat back down.
“Ms. Ryan, do you think you can continue?” the officer questioned.
Madi nodded her head as her eyes searched Jake’s. He smiled at her, nodded, and then walked back to where he had been standing. Ang handed her a paper cup filled with water and Madi took a sip. “Okay, I’m ready.” She was so damn strong. He felt his heart break as he watched her.
Madi explained how she tried to act like he wasn’t getting to her and how she tried to walk past him to get to the door when he kissed her and she slapped him.
Jake grinned at the idea of Madi hitting the guard. “Then he asked me if I liked it rough and if Jake had given it to me rough, too.” Jake clenched his fists. He wanted to beat him. He wished he had.
She told them how she told him to back off and that he said that he wanted what Jake had and that it included her. She explained how she tried to run past him and that he grabbed her, how he had tried to kiss her, and how she kneed him in the groin. Then, how he called her a little bitch and backhanded her. How she fell on her stomach and he climbed on top of her.
She looked to Jake and he was trying to look supportive, but he was fighting within himself. With every word out of her mouth he felt worse and worse. The officer asked her to continue.
She told him how he had held her hands, and put his elbow into her head. How she had tried to fight and scream, but he was too strong. Jake was in pain. He felt sick. He wanted to run to her and hold her and take care of her. Where were you yesterday, you selfish prick? Where were you when she needed you the most? Jake cringed at every word of his internal dialogue and with every look of nervousness on Madi’s face.
The officer asked her what happened next. Ang squeezed her hand. She explained how he had lifted her skirt and pulled off her underwear with his free hand and how she could hear his pants unzip.
“And then he said…” Madi stopped and her eyes turned toward Jake. Jake was out of breath. He had held his breath at some point and forgot to let it out. His hands were on his head and he was leaning against the wall. He could see in Madi’s face that she was holding something back. What did she not want for him to hear? What did he say to her?
“Ms. Ryan, please finish. What did he say?”
“I… I can’t.”
“Ms. Ryan, I know this is hard but we need to get the whole story. We know this man has a vendetta against Mr. Morgan and we need to know what he said to you. It’s important.”
Madi stared at Jake in pure desperation. He could see it on her face and wanted to ease her worry. He walked over to her and bent down. He looked into her eyes and tried to smile. “Whatever it is, you need to tell them. I’m right here. It’s going to be okay.”
“Do you promise me, Jake? Do you promise it will be okay?”
“I promise you,” he said, knowing it was what she needed to hear.
She glanced at the officer and back to Jake in front of her as a tear rolled down her cheek. “He said, ‘I’ll give you a fuck that you’ll never forget.’” She sniffled and her voice cracked as she continued, “’Just call me Jake. It’s time he felt some pain.’”
Madi’s eyes fell to the floor. She slowly lifted her head and her eyes searched his. Jake tried not to show that the words had cut him deeply. “Just call me Jake.” He squeezed her hand and stood. He walked over to the wall and he saw Ang and Madi staring at him. He nodded his head for her to persevere. So he wanted Jake to feel pain? Jake cursed himself for bringing Madi into his world. He cursed himself for caring for her and for allowing someone to think they could hurt him through her. No matter how he tried, he would always hurt her. The pain of that realization coupled with his love for her, set him over the edge.
He patiently waited as Madi finished telling them what happened when Trey came onto the bus. She gave them all the details and the officer asked her to review her statement. Jake flew out of the room as soon as she had finished. He needed to run. He didn’t want anyone to see him in the shape he was in, least of all Madi. He needed to get away from her. He’d hurt her. He’d caused her pain and he was the reason for her tears. He jumped in his car and took off. He needed to be alone and he needed to think about what he had done. He’d done it again. No matt
er how much he tried, he always hurt the people he loved, including Madi.
Chapter 38
Madi
She’d left the room and searched for him but he was nowhere to be found. She called his cell and he didn’t answer. Madi felt frantic. Where was he? She didn’t want to say the last words. She had forgotten what the guard had said to her until just before she had to say it. She knew it would hurt Jake and it killed her to say it. She knew he was blaming himself, and she didn’t know what to do. She had to find him.
Dave saw her and asked what he could do to help. When she told him she needed to find Jake, he told her he had seen him take off in his car. Madi felt her heart sink. She tried to think of where he would go to hide; not his place, not his parents. Then it hit her, the hill. The hill he had shown her, where he went when he was fifteen. Madi thought about the age Gina was when she was abused, and the age difference between them. He had gone there after Gina. Could he be there again? Could she find it? She raced to Ang.
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