by Franci Neale
Chapter 10
Making Adjustments
Sarah landed in the stairwell where she had first left with the light. She wasn’t the same person she was on that first light voyage; she did, however, now have a much better idea of who she was though how that enlightenment came about was fuzzy. She was still outside her body and not sure if she could still think herself around the hospital but she still had the unusual sensation of euphoric wellbeing. It was best, she decided, to go back to her hospital room. Her thought, fortunately, propelled her there and when she arrived she knew that many things had happened in her absence as her physical body wasn’t there.
No one was there in the clean, empty room. No hint that she had ever been there. No clue as to where she might be or why she had been moved. She mentally moved herself to the hall near the nurses’ station and hoped that something would provide a morsel of information that would help find her body. She put up a big mental block to the idea that she might have died.
She just hung around the busy corridor watching the nurses come and go and feeling anxious. She began to think about the light and questioned why it didn’t return her to her body instead of the stairwell and then she realized that the dazzling light needed to return to where it started and it may not have any idea where her body was either.
Anyway, it didn’t really matter. Then she thought that she might have been in Intensive Care when she had first left her body and she must have been moved to a regular room.
No memory seemed certain but it was a good thought and much better than anything she had divined so far. She wondered why she was having a hard time remembering.
But where would they take her exactly? She knew that she was in the stairwell at the maternity floor when the white light first captured her so no sense in going back there; or maybe there was. Would they take her there because she was pregnant or was that floor just for babies and deliveries? She decided that maybe that was the place to start her search.
Back in the stairwell she thought herself into the hall and began to methodically move slowly past each door to see if she could find herself in one of the rooms. Most doors were open but she discovered that she could easily enter the ones with closed doors so she just kept going in hopes that she was on the right track.
After checking every room, even the empty ones, disappointment set in and she came to rest on an empty bench to rethink and possibly consider the unthinkable. It was a big hospital and she could be anywhere, she told herself, so there was no sense in giving up at this early stage. She continued to feel anxious and then had a new thought.
Maybe she should try to find her doctor and stick with him until he visited her room. But where would he be?
Maybe there was something obvious that she was missing. Could she have come out of her coma and actually left the hospital? The part of her that was drifting free in the hospital was a part of herself and it should be able to find the rest of her. It was doubtful that she could come out of the coma when a great part of her was still wandering in the hall. Maybe if she just thought, “Take me back to my body”; and sure enough it worked. She was in the room where the rest of her was. What a relief. She felt all the anxiety ebb away and she studied her body hoping to get some idea of her physical condition.
She was hooked up to machines by several different wires, there was a tube for oxygen, an IV bag of some kind of liquid and her head was tightly bandaged like it had been before she left. She looked very pale and her eyes were lightly closed and sunk deep into her head. She was pale and very still with only her breathing gently rising and falling in her chest. The room was clean and everything was neatly arranged. There was a small bouquet of garden flowers and a dish of peppermint candy on the side table and nothing else. Nothing in the room would tell anyone who she was except for the name on her wrist band.
Sarah knew that she needed to be back in her body and begin to help with the job of getting well and growing her baby. That knowledge moved her to slide her wandering self in with the rest of her. There was only a hint of pain now, and her body felt good; a powerful and reassuring sense of belonging took hold and she knew that she could nurture her body and the baby into wellness. It would take time, but she was confident.
Enveloped in her coma body and unseen or appreciated by anyone else, Sarah was aware of everything around her and was awake and asleep as if she was normal. She wished for music but that’s all she could do. Her mainstay was dreaming. In her dreams she was nearly as mobile as the white light traveler had been and enjoyed a rich and lively variety of experiences. She dreamed often of ES360 and the beautiful black and white cat. When she was not actually asleep she remembered little of her slumbering life but bits and pieces did filter through and she could entertain herself for hours trying to ferret out details of her Seymore Place friends from her dreams. And one of those periods of mining her dream life brought an added bonus. She smiled. Her whole face changed and as always she looked much prettier smiling.
As good luck would have it, her doctor saw her smile and took her hand and kissed it. He was overjoyed. After nearly 2 months in coma he saw the first indication that she was responding. Though he was not sure what brought about the smile, he knew it was a good turn in her situation and it buoyed his hopes.
He watched for another fifteen minutes or so but there was no other gesture or movement. So he left to call and tell her brother to say that Sarah appeared to be improving.
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Seymore, though appearing in Sarah’s dreams, had no knowledge of that visitation. He was still caught in the sense of loss from her departure. When Seymore saw Sarah instantly disappear in the light as it sped away, he couldn’t move for several minutes. It was hard for his whole self to accept the fact that she was gone for good. There was nothing that could change that and the finality was hurtful and sad.
He still held the cat and Fred also seemed upset and simply stared out the door window at the dome and hung limply over Seymore’s arm. Seymore lovingly stroked his head and murmured words of consolations as much for himself as for the cat.
He turned toward the library, still carrying Fred, and went across to the office to find Geralty sobbing in Mesa’s arms. Mesa, now in the guise of a kindly grandmother, didn’t look up or acknowledge him. Seymore sat on the magical bench and put Fred down beside him. He simply waited, having no idea what to say or do. Presently, Geralty looked up and gave Seymore a look that was heart breaking.
Where to begin to pick up the pieces? Seymore had to find a way. Finally he leaned forward and put his arms and clasped hands on the beautiful table and said, “This is hard and it may be difficult for a while, but we have as much to be happy about as we do to mourn. Sarah’s home and the dome gathered and returned a light force. It is amazing that we were able to do that and I’m not totally sure how we did it; but we did. We all love Sarah and to honor her we must be sure to build on our achievement and I think we should start soon.”
“I, for one, am going to begin to gather up and organize all the details and information we have about the brilliant white light so we can review it and be sure that the next light is managed in a way that is both understood and effective. I will need lots of help to get it right. ”His audience didn’t respond and remained still and deeply unhappy.
After a short interval he elaborated, “So, Mesa, I want you to use your incredible skills to completely review the whole of Seymore Place and, as you suggested earlier, begin the process of making it permanent. And Geralty, I will need a protégé, an assistant, who can learn and review my findings on our results as we go along. You have shown that you have good skills of observation as well as creative potential and a talent for planning. Your work in creating the celebration for Sarah was perfect and has given us all a wonderful memory that will last forever. You have a vital role to play because someday I will return to Middle Mind and ES360 will need new and experienced leadership.”
/> Geralty was totally surprised by Seymore’s endorsement of his abilities and both flattered and frightened at the prospect of ever replacing him as the leader at ES360.
Mesa was glad to know that she could now make Seymore Place more stable and permanent. There would need to be a number of changes before the final establishing of ES360, but it wouldn’t be long now before a very important and valuable new addition to the services for The Rim would be firmly in place. She was delighted.
Mesa, beyond being pleased about the coming permanency of ES360, knew that some less substantial matters had to be handled as well and that it was up to her to see that they were tended to with care. She shifted into her schoolmarm self and with a very serious look began, “Gentlemen, there are some things that I am compelled to pass long to you before we move toward making Seymore Place permanent. Gradually and sometimes without any of us noticing, sensitive changes have occurred and are occurring that will need to be accommodated in the final version of ES360."
She paused to gather her thoughts and then continued, “As all of us have just experienced emotions that have been running high around Sarah’s departure. Though not always pleasant they are needed here so that we can understand, empathize and have unwavering consideration for the needs and issues of the light travelers that will be coming our way. While it is unlikely that any of them will evoke the kind of feelings both wonderful and distressing that were revealed in our relationships with Sarah, we do need to have a full range of emotions available. So as not to surprise you, I wanted you to know that emotions will become part and parcel of Seymore Place.
“We have also all experienced touch and sound; a nice variety of both, don’t you think?” she paused and smiled prettily to a totally unresponsive audience of two. It was evident that large parts of both Geralty and Seymore were still saying goodbye to Sarah. She rolled her eyes and went on, “There are other sensations that we need to add and they include smell, intuition, humor, and best of all dreaming.” She stopped because the look on Seymore’s face was one of wide-eyed astonishment. She couldn’t resist. “What does that look mean, Seymore?”
“Are we going to be humans? ”His loud guffaw made Geralty giggle and was exasperating for Mesa. She interjected, “Apparently sarcasm was on the menu of coming as well!” which sent Seymore in to gales of laughter.
Mesa smiled, shook her head and muttered, “It seems we don’t have to wonder about humor’s arrival any more.” Then she realized that part of Seymore’s hilarity was a nervous response to pent up energy from Sarah leaving. She then felt more kindly disposed and gave up her frustration in favor of continuing with the possible changes and adjustments that would precede making ES360 permanent. After Seymore’s outburst she decided to pass over mentioning that time was also on the agenda of incoming enhancements. Just as well because it’s a hard concept even at The Rim.
“According to the original instructions from the Great Psyche, as I recall, we need to make a powerful provision for the light travelers to be met by personalities and information that is both familiar and persuasive to assist them in wanting to return to The Rim, preferably promptly. I don’t have any experience that would be useful in this part of the process. It could be tricky.”
Seymore, now returning to a modicum of order, agreed that he would need to give that part of the process his best consideration. “But,” he said, “I would like to get everything caught up and in good order before taking on something that important. Can we conclude this first review of what is needed and pick up after we have a complete survey?” Mesa said that that was fine with her and Geralty just nodded his agreement as he was apparently in information overload.
Fred had not stayed around for the discussion of ES360’s future so Seymore went to find him. After a few minutes of calling and searching he was found sitting by the door to the covered walkway, hunkered down with his tail wrapped around him, and his head nearly touching the floor. His sadness was terrible to see. Seymore went to pick him up, but we wiggled out of his arms and jumped to the floor to return to the spot where Sarah had last stood. Seymore had no idea how to comfort a despondent cat, so he leaned down and stroked his back and told the cat that it would be OK. He then went to sit in his big chair to gather his own wits.
Seymore had nearly dozed off when Fred jumped up into his lap and curled up in a tight ball. Seymore gently put his arms around the troubled animal and they rested and longed for their Sarah.