“You’re not going to lose anyone else,” Harriet said.
But she had. Already. She’d lost Jasper. She hadn’t told her friends about her brother’s blackmail, hadn’t been able to bear them knowing that her only relative had betrayed her in such a way. And she’d lost Merritt. Well, she’d never precisely had him, but she’d certainly lost her heart to him.
Iris swiped at her tears. “Enough of this foolishness. Find me a gown and let us get this evening over with.”
Agnes and Harriet eyed one another, then they both nodded, and Agnes went back to working on Iris’s hair.
“Oh, this is the one,” Harriet said as she pulled out one of Iris’s favorite gowns. It was a spectacular shade of gold and did not clash with her hair in the least.
Half an hour later, she was dressed and ready to go. Nerves battled inside her, making her palms damp and her breathing shallow. She could do this. She’d seen Merritt a couple of days before and not given in to the desire to say yes to his proposal, despite there not actually being a scandal to save her from. Despite him not loving her. She wanted to say yes. Desperately. She wanted to be his wife. To wake up beside him every day.
But she knew if she settled for a loveless marriage with Merritt, she would be miserable. She steeled herself with one last glance in the mirror, as if to remind herself that she was strong enough to walk away. She’d been on her own for years. She could continue that way. She certainly didn’t need a man to make her happy.
Chapter Thirteen
A footman escorted them from the entrance of Merritt’s townhome to the staircase that led to the second-floor ballroom.
“There weren’t many carriages out front. Do you suppose the short notice means that not many will attend?” Iris asked. She hated for Lucy to be disappointed.
“No, I think it was meant to be a small, intimate gathering,” Agnes said.
Her friends stepped in front of her and were introduced. Suddenly the music swelled for a few measures, then it stopped and the footman announced her.
“Introducing Lady Iris,” he said loudly.
As she stepped into the ballroom, she saw Merritt first, standing in the center of the room, hand extended toward her.
This wasn’t a ball for Lucy. This was an official coming out ball for her.
…
She was here. And she was stunning. The shimmering golden gown fit her every curve. He held his hand out to her, and she stepped forward.
“I was hoping you’d give me the honor of the first dance,” he said.
“You did this? For me?” she asked, her voice filled with emotion.
“I did. Not too many people were invited. Only the ones I know are most important to you,” he said.
She glanced around the room, her eyes widening as she recognized people. Lucy waved at her. Her brother offered her a bow.
Her lovely green eyes met Merritt’s. “Why did you do this?”
“Because you never had this, and you deserve to have everything a woman could want.” He took a sobering breath. “And because I wanted—no, I needed to apologize to you. Will you hear me out?”
Her eyes glistened, but she nodded. He led her onto a balcony off the far wall.
He was quiet for a moment once they reached the cool night air. He doubted this would work, but he owed it to her to explain, to tell her how he felt. “Iris, I know you are angry. You have every right to be. I betrayed you. I have no excuse, but I do have a reason.”
She nodded for him to continue.
“After all the time we’d spent together, I was terrified of how you made me feel, of the things you made me want. I spent my life loathing everything about the aristocracy, and I was determined that, despite my inheritance and my title, I would not be a part of them. Not truly. When I met you, for the first time since inheriting my title, I was tempted to become a part of that world. To put aside the standards I had set for myself and live like one of the aristocracy. Because, you see, I knew I could not have you if I didn’t. But, still I resisted.
“So when I saw you in action that night, then followed up and learned about the Ladies of Virtue, all I could think about was that if you were anyone else, I’d write and print the story. And to prove to myself that you meant nothing to me, that I hadn’t fallen under your spell, I printed it. I wanted so desperately to be a man I could be proud of. But I’ve realized now that none of that matters. That the only thing that truly matters is whether I can be a man that you can be proud of.”
“And so you hosted a ball for me?”
“I wanted to talk to you, and I wasn’t certain you’d listen to me under any other circumstances.”
“The ball is a little late, as I’m obviously no debutante. Still, I’m so grateful. This was exceptionally kind of you,” she said.
“One other reason, Iris,” he said.
“What’s that?”
“Because I love you.”
Her eyes narrowed, and she shook her head slightly. “I don’t understand.”
“I know. I know I told you that I couldn’t love you, and I didn’t think I could. Not because of you, but because of who I am. But the more I’m away from you, the more I have realized that I don’t want to marry you—”
“You don’t?”
He chuckled. “You didn’t allow me to finish. I don’t want to marry you because of any potential scandals. I want to marry you because I want to be with you. I want you by my side always. I don’t want another man to touch you or kiss you or even look at you in an untoward manner. I think about you every moment that I’m away from you, wondering when I will get to see you again. When will I get to hear your laugh, see you smile, make your eyes go dark with desire? I’m not an expert, but I do believe that’s love.”
She laughed. “You love me? You love me.”
“Yes, I do. Shall I say it loud enough so that everyone inside can hear as well?”
“No, of course not. It is perfect with just the two of us.” Then she paused. “Merritt, I’m scared.”
“Scared of what, love?”
“Of loving you. Of losing you. Of becoming my mother and losing myself.”
He pressed his forehead to hers. “Iris, you are the strongest woman I’ve ever known. There is nothing in the world that could cause you to lose yourself.” He kissed the tip of her nose. “And I’m not going anywhere.”
“Promise?” she whispered.
“Yes.” He glanced around them. “Now I’m rather annoyed that there are so many people around us, as I’d like to pull you into my arms and kiss you senseless. So I might ask you again, Iris Bennington, will you do me the honor of being my wife?”
“You do not first wish to know if I love you in return?”
“I would marry you without you loving me, but also, you talk in your sleep, and you told me that night in your bed.”
She popped him on the arm with the fan dangling from her wrist.
“I do love you, Merritt.”
“I don’t believe I shall ever tire of hearing that,” he said.
“Ask me again,” she said with a wicked grin.
“Will you marry me?”
“Yes!” She tossed her arms around his neck and clung to him, not caring about the people surrounding them. They were all friends and family. Certainly they knew why they were here.
“Are you going to require I ask you that on a regular basis?”
“Your proposals get better and better, so I just might.”
“I love you, Iris.”
Epilogue
Six months later
“Good morning, wife,” Merritt said as he came up behind Iris and wrapped his arms around her. “Are you finished packing?”
She leaned into him and smiled. “No, and I never will be if you keep interrupting me.” Her heart swelled. Oh, how she loved this man. They’d been married for nearly three months, and still the sight of him stole her breath. And it still frightened her, too, loving him so deeply and knowing that if she ever
lost him, the pain would be unbearable. Still, loving him and being loved by him was worth the risk.
He nibbled at her neck, and she swatted him away. “Merritt, I’m quite serious. I cannot pack with you distracting me. And you know how important this trip is. I’ll be doing research for my book.”
“That is not all you’ll be doing.” He chuckled and turned her to face him. “I am ready to begin our honeymoon.” He pulled her to him in a passionate kiss.
She pushed gently at his chest.
“You are not supposed to be packing yourself. Where is your maid?”
“I sent her to gather some books.”
He shook his head.
“I’ll allow her to fold everything, but I wanted to select the items myself.”
“Of course, you did.”
She ignored his comment. “I nearly forgot to tell you. Last night Lucy told me a secret.”
His eyes glimmered. “Are you going to make me seduce it out of you?”
“You are the worst sort of cad, husband of mine.”
“Indeed. But only because my wife has turned me into a randy schoolboy.”
She smiled. “Lucy has agreed to let Rand start courting her.”
Merritt’s eyes narrowed. “She told you that?”
“She did.”
“I thought she was entertaining the attentions of Lord Brookfield,” Merritt said.
“Evidently, she found him tiresome.” Iris kissed him gently then moved away from him to continue packing. “I think she’s finally recognized that Rand is a man. You know, a man who could be a potential suitor.”
He reclined across their bed and watched her move from the armoire to the trunk. “Just in time for me to leave him in charge of the paper while we’re gone for a month.” Then he sat up abruptly. “If he defiles her, I’ll kill him.”
“He’s you’re dearest friend.”
“And she is my sister.”
“You’ve wanted them together. You admitted that much to me.” She closed the trunk and moved to gather the personal items she kept on her dressing table. “They might fall in love, just as we have. Don’t you want that for her?”
He frowned. “I don’t think I do.”
“You are being ridiculous. You mustn’t worry so much about your sister. She is her own woman now and needs to make her own choices. And mistakes.”
His brows rose. “I suppose you’re an expert on such matters?”
“In fact, I am. I allowed my brother to fail spectacularly.”
“I do believe he is maturing. Benedict reported to me that he has switched games and drink and is doing less of both.”
She smiled. “I do love that you check in on him.”
“It would seem he is my brother now, too. Though, I still believe him to be a complete idiot.”
“We’re in agreement with that. But you must remember that I sheltered Jasper. I kept him home too long. Spoiled him out of concern that he’d miss our parents too much. I indulged him.” She shook her head. “Perhaps it just means he’ll grow up slower than most.”
“Has he called on Mr. Fernish yet to claim control of the family coffers?”
“No.” Then she laughed. “It will be nice to have a break from all of this. London. Our family. All of it.”
“The investigation into the mysterious Lady X? You are ready to leave that behind?”
“Of course not. So far, she’s managed to paralyze our entire organization. But we have others working to seek her out, so hopefully we’ll discover her identity soon. Agnes is exceptionally clever, and I gave her all of our notes.”
“We will find her, that I promise you.”
She went over to where he sat on the edge of the bed and stood between his legs. “Still, I am very much looking forward to it being just the two of us.”
“You are going to exhaust me with your wanton ways.”
“Absolutely.”
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About the Author
National Bestselling author, Robyn DeHart’s novels have appeared in the top bestselling romance and historical romance lists. Her books have been translated into nearly a dozen languages. Her historical romantic adventure series, The Legend Hunters, were not only bestsellers, but also award-winners, snagging a Reader’s Crown and a Reviewer’s Choice award. She’s had more than a dozen books published, all set in the popular historical romance Regency and Victorian eras, and they’ve been translated into nearly that many languages.
Known for her “strong dialogue and characters that leap off the page” (RT Bookclub) and her “sizzling romance” (Publishers Weekly), her books have been featured in USA Today and the Chicago Tribune. A popular writing instructor, she has given speeches at writing conferences in Los Angeles, DC, New York, Dallas, Nashville, and Toronto, among many others.
When not writing, you can find Robyn hanging out with her family, husband (The Professor) a university professor of Political Science and their two ridiculously beautiful and smart daughters, Busybee and Babybee as well as two spoiled-rotten cats. They live in the hill country of Texas where it’s hot eight months of the year, but those big blue skies make it worth it.
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A Little Bit Wicked
A Little Bit Sinful
A Little Bit Scandalous
No Ordinary Mistress
For Her Spy Only
Misadventures in Seduction
Undercover with the Earl
Dueling with the Duke
Eloping with the Princess
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