by Carrie Elks
“Yeah. He sent me his lawyer’s details. Asked me to get in touch about child support.” She swallowed.
Rich blinked. “Did you?”
Meghan shook her head. “I never filed any papers. But I sent a photo and her birth details after we got out of the hospital.”
“Did he reply?”
“No. His lawyer paid the hospital bills, but that was the last I heard from him.”
“What an asshole.” Rich shook his head, his fingers curling into his palm. “Who does that?”
“I guess I could have pushed it, but part of me didn’t want to. I don’t want to force somebody to be Isla’s father. And I don’t want to demand his money. I was lucky that my grandma left me a trust to help keep a roof over our heads and buy the business.”
“But Isla knows who he is?”
“She knows she has a daddy, and that he’s busy traveling the world. When she’s older I’ll explain more, and when she’s eighteen she can contact him if she wants to. In the meantime, I’ll try and be Mom and Dad to her.”
“Is that why you keep in touch with your parents? To give her some kind of father figure?”
“One of the reasons. I told you that I needed to know she’d be safe if something happened to me. That’s one of my biggest fears. Knowing they love her makes it a little easier.”
“Yeah. I completely understand that.” He inhaled softly. “Single parents are amazing.”
She blinked. “Thank you. That means a lot. I know everybody expected me to fail. Not just my parents, but the women I was in the hospital with, the grandparents who would visit and send sympathetic looks at me, the nurses, even. But when it comes to having a kid you can’t fail. Because they’re the ones who pay the price.”
“Can I ask you something else?” He put his wine glass on the table.
“Of course.”
“Why were you so embarrassed when Isla asked about me being her dad? Some of my friends who work on the pediatric floor get that a lot, especially from kids who don’t have a dad. It’s normal, nothing to be embarrassed about.”
She looked down at her hands. “I guess I was worried you’d think I’d primed her or something. That I was trying to corner you into something you didn’t want. Maybe I was scared you’d think I was like Carlyn.”
“You’re absolutely nothing like Carlyn. And I didn’t think that at all. I thought it was sweet. I like Isla, she’s a good kid. I like spending time with you both.”
“You do?” Their eyes met. He felt a warmth wash over him. She was as afraid of this thing as he was. No wonder, all she’d experienced in life was people trying to control her or abandon her. Nothing in between. They were two sides of the same coin. She was afraid of relationships because they meant being controlled. And he was afraid because they meant being out of control.
Maybe Belle was right. It was time to say the way he felt.
“Yeah, I do. And I want to spend more time with you.”
She smiled shyly. “I want to spend more time with you, too. But I have to think of Isla. She’s already confused and I don’t want to confuse her anymore.”
“We can take it slow.” He could feel the need for her building inside him. Not just a sexual need, though that was strong enough. The need to be with her. To talk with her. To know that she was his. It was like his talk with Belle had flipped a switch, and now he was all in.
“It’d have to be tortoise paced. I don’t know if that’s fair on you.” Her cheeks flushed. “I feel really stupid saying that, since we’ve already had sex. But it’s true. I have to guard her heart, and guard my own.”
“This isn’t just about sex for me.” His voice was low. “If it was purely about sex, I wouldn’t be here now, because I know how complicated this could get.”
“You do?”
“Yeah. And it scares me to death.”
She laughed. “It scares me, too.”
He put his hand on the table between them, palm down. “The thing that scares me most is letting you down. I’ve got a history of that. So going slow seems right. And if I fuck up, I want you to walk away. You’re too good to deal with bullshit from people like me.”
She slid her fingers through his, and it made his body clench. “You have a really low opinion of yourself. Look at what you did for your sister. You helped take care of her when you weren’t much more than a kid yourself.”
“I had no choice.”
“There’s always a choice. People walk away from things that scare them all the time. But you don’t, no matter how bad your opinion is of yourself. You stay and face the things that scare you most.” There was heat in her eyes. It was as though she could see through the façade he’d built to protect himself, to the real person that lay behind. And it touched him more than he could say.
It would be so easy to fall in love with this woman. She made him feel like he could fly.
He circled her palm with his thumb, pulling at her hand until they were both standing. “So we’re friends?”
She smiled. “Friends plus. Like economy plus.”
“Does the plus include hugging?” The need to feel her against him was impossible to ignore.
“Friends hug,” she agreed.
He slid his arms around her back, pulling her to him, until her face rested against his shoulder, her slim body pressed into his. He sighed, loving the feeling of her against him. Her hands bunched against his shirt, holding him tight.
“Will you go to my sister’s show with me?” he asked her. “As a real date, not a pretend one?”
“I’d love to.” She looked up at him with those big eyes and he was a goner.
Neither of them moved, but it felt like everything was spinning around them. His lips parted, and hers did, too, like she was mirroring his moves. Her chest rose as she inhaled sharply, as though her need for him was as great as his own for her.
“Are you going to kiss me?” she whispered.
“Do friends kiss?” His voice was teasing. He felt like he’d been holding his breath for a lifetime, only to experience sweet, sweet relief.
“We’re friends plus. That means the occasional kiss when certain other friends are asleep in the apartment are permitted.”
“You’re going to have to write out all the rules, just so I know,” he murmured, his eyes still fixed on her pretty mouth. “And maybe give me a frequent flyer card or something.”
She cupped his jaw, studying his face with clear, observant eyes. “You’ll have to work your way up to platinum,” she told him.
“I’m goal oriented. I like a challenge.” He dropped his brow to hers, his lashes sweeping downward as he held her gaze. She had a row of tiny freckles across the bridge of her nose. He planned to memorize every last one of them. Her hair tickled at his cheek as he leaned closer, her fingers caressing his jaw, her eyes wide and intent and waiting for his next move.
He slid his hands down her back and pulled her in, teasing his lips against hers until she let out a soft sigh. Then he kissed her harder, tangling his hand into her hair until their faces were at the perfect angle.
His heart drummed against his chest as she arched her body against his, the softness of her breasts making him hard as hell. Their tongues slid, circled, caressed. Her hands moving from his face to his neck, her touch so arousing. And if she was anybody else, he’d lift her up right now and take her to bed.
But she wasn’t. She was Meghan. She was more.
Her lips were swollen when they parted, both panting for air. She reached up to brush her hair from her face, her eyes crinkling as she looked up at him.
“The first time we kissed you ran away,” she said.
“I know. And I want to kick my own ass for that.”
“And the second time we ended up in bed.”
Rich swallowed hard. “Yeah we did.” And the thought of it sent blood straight to his groin.
“So what’s going to happen the third time?” She bit down a smile.
“The third t
ime I’m going to go home, go to bed, and really try hard not to think about you laying the other side of the wall.”
21
“You keep glancing at your watch,” Jeannie said, as she passed two cones to a waiting customer. “Got somewhere else to be?”
Megan pulled her eyes away from her wrist, feeling guilty. “Nope. I was just wondering if my parents were going to be late picking Isla up.”
Jeannie smiled as her customer slipped a bill into the tip jar. “Thank you,” she said, then turned back to Meghan. “I thought they were picking her up at five.”
“They are.”
“That’s half an hour away. You’re going to get a sore wrist if you keep bending it like that.” With a smirk, Jeannie turned to clean up the scoops, leaving Meghan to serve the next customer.
She’d been jittery all day. Not because her parents were keeping Isla for the weekend again, but because of what would happen once her daughter had gone to White City.
A weekend of debauchery. That’s what her father would call it if he ever found out she intended to spend the next two nights in Rich’s bed.
Which was a very good reason for him not to find out.
Thankfully the next thirty minutes flew by, in a whirlwind of teenagers and children coming in after school was out. By the time her parents walked awkwardly through the door, she’d managed to get herself under control.
She and Rich had been messaging all week, but it was no substitute for actually seeing each other. On Wednesday, when she’d taken the trash out, he’d walked out of his apartment at the same time and stalked over to her with dark eyes, taking the trash bag easily from her hands and pushing her into the elevator.
Their kiss had been full of pent up frustration. He’d been hard against her as his lips plundered her mouth, his hand lightly holding her neck as though he was afraid she’d run away.
And then the doors had opened and it was over. He’d stalked away with a half smile and headed to his car while she’d shakingly put her trash into the dumpster.
Talk about love them and leave them.
“Isla, Granny and Gramps are here,” Meghan called into the office where Isla was coloring at the desk. Isla immediately jumped up, her face shining as she grabbed her weekend bag.
“Oh boy!” Isla cried out, giving her bag to her gramps and throwing herself into her grandma’s arms. “We are going to have F.U.N. this weekend.”
“We sure are, little one.” Meghan’s mom ruffled Isla’s hair. She was so different as a grandma. And Meghan was glad, because she never wanted Isla to go through what she went through as a child.
But it also made her feel wistful. Like they’d missed an opportunity for a different life.
“Mommy, you’ll have fun without me, right?” Isla said, as though she was worried about leaving Meghan.
“Of course, sweetheart.” Meghan nodded. “I’ll be working here tomorrow, that’s always fun.”
“If you get bored you could have Rich over for dinner. He loves tater tots.” She looked at her grandparents. “Do you like tater tots?”
Meghan’s dad frowned. “I have no idea what they are.”
“You guys should get going. I’m guessing the roads are busy out there.” Meghan wasn’t planning on extolling the virtue of tater tots to her traditional father. “And I need to help Jeannie serve some customers. Come here, sweetheart.” She reached for Isla, giving her a big hug. Her daughter rested her soft cheek against Meghan’s, and for a moment tears stung at her eyes.
It was just a weekend and she’d see her again. It wasn’t the first time Isla had gone to stay with her grandparents, after all.
But it was the first time Meghan couldn’t wait for them to leave. And that made her feel like a bad mother.
“Bye Mommy,” Isla said, pulling herself out of Meghan’s grasp. “Be good.”
Jeannie caught her eye, biting down a smile.
“I’ll try,” Meghan promised.
“So will I,” Isla said seriously.
When they left, Jeannie put down the cloth she’d been cleaning the tables with and gave Meghan an interested stare. “So what’s going on this weekend?”
Meghan blinked. “What do you mean? I’m working. You know that.”
Jeannie shook her head. “Nah, you’re edgy. You keep checking your watch. And when you said goodbye to Isla there was this weird guilty expression on your face.”
Exhaling heavily, Meghan leaned on the counter. “I’m meeting my neighbor for a date.”
A smile slowly lifted Jeannie’s mouth. “The hot doc?”
Meghan nodded.
“Oh boy. No wonder you’re all flustered.”
Well that was an understatement. “I’m doing the right thing, aren’t I?” she asked Jeannie.
“Of course you are. Why wouldn’t you be?”
“I’m a single mom. I don’t want to cause any problems for Isla.”
Jeannie sighed. “Look, I’m fifteen years older than you, so you can take this as a little bit of life experience from me. You’re not just a mom or a business owner or a daughter. You’re a woman. You have needs and desires and deserve to be happy. That doesn’t take away from the other parts in your life. You can still be a great mom and a great businesswoman and have passion in your life, too. So don’t feel guilty because you’re planning a weekend of love with the doc next door.”
Her words made Meghan grin. She was right. For so long she’d felt guilty about wanting things she thought she shouldn’t have. It was practically ingrained in her as a child. And then, when she’d thrown off the shackles of her upbringing, she’d paid the price in the biggest of ways.
Not that she regretted a moment of being Isla’s mom. But getting pregnant after her first fling had proved her parents right. And maybe she’d internalized that feeling for too long.
It felt good to be desired by Rich. It made her feel warm and beautiful and all the things he kept telling her she was. This weekend was for her and him, and nobody else. Either she let the guilt consume her, or she enjoyed it.
She chose enjoyment.
“It’s getting quieter in here,” Jeannie said, nodding her head at the half-empty tables. “Why don’t I close up tonight? You go home and start your weekend.”
“Are you sure?”
Jeannie grinned. “I’m sure. And the next time I have a hot date you can return the favor.”
Meghan hugged her tightly. “Thank you. And I definitely will.”
He was waiting for her when she pulled into the parking lot, leaning on the white wall of their building, his arms crossed, biceps pushed out, a half smile on his face.
Her stomach lurched because he looked so good. He was wearing a pair of light jeans and a black t-shirt that molded to his chest. His hair was slicked back and he had a pair of dark sunglasses covering his eyes. As soon as he saw her car he lifted them up and walked toward her, his eyes intent on hers as he strode across the blacktop.
He’d swapped shifts this weekend so he could spend it with her, even though she had to work tomorrow. When she’d tried to apologize for not finding a stand in at the ice cream parlor he’d told her he was looking forward to helping her there. He was so sweet she was afraid her teeth might break.
“Hey.” He pulled open her door. “How was your day, darling?”
She grinned. “Better now.”
He held her hand as she climbed out, then pulled her into his arms, pressing his lips to hers. She could smell the warm, deep notes of his cologne. It made her feel heady.
“So we’re kissing in public now?” she asked him.
“It definitely feels like it to me.” He slid his hand into hers, closing the door to her car as she slid her purse over her shoulder.
“I thought I was coming over to yours at seven,” she said as they walked into the lobby. “Isn’t that the plan?”
“It is. But then you texted and said you were leaving early, so I thought I’d say hi.” He pushed the button for the elevator.
“And remind you to pack a weekend bag. No going back to your place until Sunday night.”
“But I live next door.”
“Yeah, but this weekend you live with me.”
A strange thrill tickled at her skin. The elevator arrived and they stepped in, Rich pressing the button for their floor. As the doors closed, he pulled her against him, so her back was pressed against his chest. He swept her hair over her shoulder and pressed soft kisses to her neck. She could feel the hard ridge of him pressed against her behind.
When she turned to try to capture his lips with hers, he shook his head softly and kissed her throat again. “If I kiss you, I’ll drag you into my apartment and then our date will never happen,” he told her.
“I can live with that.” Her voice was a gasp.
“No.” A smile played on his lips. “Date first, everything else later. I’m a gentleman.”
It took her less than an hour to shower, wash her hair, and dry it again, then stuff a pile of clothes into her overnight bag. It was so weird, packing to spend the weekend next door, and yet it was thrilling, too.
Not just because it was their secret, but because it meant she’d be spending the weekend with him. The man she couldn’t get out of her mind.
When she knocked on his door at exactly seven o’clock, Rich was wearing a pair of navy pants and a white shirt, unbuttoned at the collar. His hair was brushed back from his face, and he’d shaved the shadow from his jaw, revealing tanned, smooth skin.
And the way he smelled? It made her legs ache. Soft, woody notes that enticed her in.
“You look beautiful,” he told her, his eyes dark as he took in her pretty blue dress.
“So do you.”
He took her bag from her and placed it on his hall floor, then held his hand out to draw her inside. His palm was soft and warm against hers as he led her through his expansive living room to the sliding doors that overlooked the beach.
“I thought we’d eat outside,” he told her.
Meghan blinked as they stepped onto his wraparound balcony. It was so much bigger than hers. Huge pots of flowering plants were clustered on the tiled floor, and in the center of it all was a table for two, covered with a pristine white tablecloth, topped with a vase full of roses. Beside it was a bottle of champagne resting in an ice bucket, and two long stemmed crystal champagne glasses.