by Trish Morey
She produced a batch of oven-fried chicken that was as good as anything the colonel made, along with crispy biscuits and a nice green salad. Even Teddy took a few bites. She’d also made some rubbery green gelatin squares that were so tough, they could play catch with them. Once he saw those, Teddy suddenly had an appetite. He came over to watch, hanging on his mother’s leg and leaning his head on her knee, and when Max tossed a square into the air and caught it with his mouth, Teddy couldn’t help it—he just had to laugh.
When it was time for bed, Teddy went down fairly easily.
“Help me tuck him in,” Kayla urged.
“Why?”
She gave him a look and he reluctantly followed her into the bedroom. When Teddy saw Max, he hid his face in the covers.
“You see,” Max whispered to her. “He doesn’t want me to be here when you tuck him in.”
“He’s a child,” she muttered back. “You’re a grown-up. You’re the one in charge of the situation. Don’t let him con you.”
So he helped tuck Teddy in. But the kid still seemed to hate him. He wasn’t sure why that should be—or why he cared. He’d known other kids who didn’t seem to adore him and it had never bothered him before. Maybe it was the fact that he’d expected to have instant rapport with Eddie’s boy. That hadn’t happened.
He came out into the kitchen and helped her with the dishes, taking a towel and drying them as she put them up on the counter, sparkling clean. They talked about old times and laughed about old stories. And Kayla realized that Max was really her only link to Eddie, physical or emotional. The memories were all in his head, like they were in her heart. Was that what drew her to him so strongly? Was that what made her feel something very close to love whenever she looked into his eyes?
No. It was more than that. Much more. If only she could pin down exactly what it was.
She got him a beer and she made herself a cup of hot tea and they sat on the couch and talked softly.
She stretched and smiled at him. “You know what? In this very moment, in spite of everything, I’m very happy.”
“Why?”
“Because you’re here. And because you seem to be at peace in a way. Not quite as tense and restless as you usually are.”
She was right. It was good being with her this way. She made him happy, too. He looked at her pretty face, her soft brown eyes, her beautiful lips and he felt an ache where his heart should be.
“You need to be kissed,” he murmured, looking at her mouth a bit hungrily.
She shook her head and began to appear wary. “No, I don’t.”
“Yes, you do.” Reaching out, he touched her chin, then curled his hand around her jawline. “Or maybe I should say, I need to kiss you. That might be more honest.”
Searching into his deep, mysterious eyes, she laughed softly. His hand felt so warm on her skin and his breath was even warmer on her face. She needed to pull away, let him know she couldn’t let him keep the promise that was smoldering in his eyes. But somehow, that just wasn’t happening.
“You don’t need to kiss me,” she said. “Kisses are for lovers. We’re not going to do that.”
A slight frown creased his brow. “You don’t get it. I do need to kiss you. And you need to kiss me. Just me and you. And nothing about Eddie.”
She closed her eyes for a moment, and then she looked into his again with a tiny, sad smile.
“I don’t want you to do anything that you’ll regret,” she told him, half joking.
He frowned. “What is it that you regret?”
She shook her head, letting her sleek blond hair brush against his hand. “I don’t regret anything. There was a time when I did. But I got over that quickly enough.” Turning her face, she caught the palm of his hand against her lips and put a kiss there. “One look into my baby’s eyes, and regrets faded away,” she added softly.
He stared at her and a look of pain flashed in his eyes. “Kayla …”
“Hush.” She put a finger to his lips. “Just kiss me.”
And he did.
His mouth was hot and hard on hers and she moaned low in her throat, a deep, primal sound of pleasure. She’d been so lonely for so long, to feel his arms around her, to feel the joy of his true affection, seemed to bring her out of a long sleep and into the sunlight. Their tongues met, caressed, tangled, then seemed to meld together into one smoldering focus of heat and her whole body was ready to burst into flames.
“Oh!” she cried, pulling away and staring at him. “Oh, my gosh, Max. We can’t even kiss without setting the world on fire. What the heck?”
He lay back against the pillows on the couch and started to laugh. She batted at him, then started to laugh as well, falling on him and holding him close as they both enjoyed the moment.
“Just let me hold you,” he murmured, face buried in her hair. “I just want to feel you against me.”
She nodded. “Me, too.” And then she sighed. It took a while for her body to calm down. She knew in her heart that they would make love again and it would be soon. But not now. For now, this was enough. In fact, it was a certain brand of heaven.
A sound from Teddy’s room made her get up to check on him. She looked down at her sleeping child and her heart was so full, for a moment, she couldn’t breathe. She came out with a new determination. It was time.
“Max, we have to talk about it.”
He looked up, startled at her tone. “Talk about what?”
“That night. That night after Eddie died.”
His heart began to pound in his chest. “No. We don’t have anything to talk about.” His words were defensive and so was his tone. He was scared to talk about it. Anyone could see that.
She gestured for him to follow her. “Come here. I want you to look at this baby.”
“No. Kayla …”
Reaching out, she grabbed his arm. “Come here. Look at him. You have to.”
He came reluctantly, sure that this would do no good and make no difference. What was the point?
He looked down. Teddy really was a beautiful child. Something was fluttering in his chest.
“Look at him,” she was saying softly, almost whispering. “His face is so sweet when he’s asleep. Those big round cheeks.” She turned to look at him. “If his eyes were open, you would see how blue they are.”
“Kayla.” He winced.
“He’s an adorable, sweet little boy. And you’re not letting him into your heart.”
He closed his eyes, searching for an inner strength he wasn’t sure he was going to find.
“Is he mine?” His voice was tortured, vibrating with pain.
“You know the answer.”
He closed his eyes again and turned away, pushing his way back out to the living room. She followed, wondering if he’d felt what she wanted him to feel.
“How could we have done that, Kayla?” he was muttering angrily. “How could we have betrayed Eddie like that?”
“At the time we did it, it seemed like a sacrament. A tribute. An homage to his life. It was only later, in the sober light of day, that it seemed like a betrayal.”
He nodded. “I remember it well.”
Suddenly she turned on him. She threw a pillow at him and then cried fiercely, “Max, don’t you dare regret it! Don’t you dare!”
“Kayla …”
“That night, after we found out there was no hope of finding Eddie alive, we were in shock. The pain was so great—do you remember? We turned to each other to stem it. We told ourselves we were celebrating his life, but we were really trying to pay back the fates for what they’d done to us … to Eddie.”
He nodded but he didn’t say a word.
“All we could do was cry and hold on to each other. And somehow, we ended up doing something we never meant to do. But it happened.” She pulled on his arm. “Don’t deny it! It happened.”
He turned his head away.
“A miracle came out of that, despite everything. My sweet baby. Our sweet b
aby. Don’t you dare deny that.”
Max took a deep breath and turned back to look her full in her tearstained face.
“No. I won’t deny it. But I do regret it.”
He took her in his arms and she cried and cried.
It was a few hours later. Max was asleep on the couch. He raised his head, wondering what he’d heard, and then he realized it was Kayla. She was singing softly to her baby. He listened, staying very still. There was something in that voice, something in the love she had for her child, that gave him chills. It touched him like nothing else and tears came to his eyes, stinging.
He’d never thought it would happen. He was the perennial bachelor. He was famous for it. No woman had ever been able to make her way through that tough shield of reality and reach his heart. Only Kayla had. And yet, he couldn’t get around it. To love her was a betrayal of Eddie.
CHAPTER NINE
“LISTEN,” Max said as he left in the morning. “I won’t be able to stay with you tonight. Can you make arrangements to stay with Caroline?”
“Maybe.” Kayla knew she sounded defensive, but that was how she felt. She knew he was upset, that things said and done from the night before had thrown him off again, and she resented it. “We’ll see.”
He hesitated, as though he wanted to argue with her, but then thought better of it. “Okay,” he said. “I’ll call you later.”
And he was gone. She stared at the door as it closed, a lump in her throat. He was regretting again. She was losing him.
She fixed breakfast for Teddy and took him to her sister’s, then hurried on to the office. Pellea was on a tear, racing from one project to another, barking out orders and ideas, and Kayla didn’t have time to find out what had been decided as a response to the Mercurians. And then, suddenly, Max was back and he didn’t have the scowl he’d had that morning.
“Look at this,” he said, his blue eyes sparkling with new energy. “Research has come up with a picture of the artifact.”
He had a thick book with beautiful photographic illustrations, and there was a huge picture of the item in question. They gathered around and stared at it and for a few minutes, no one said a word.
“Wow,” Pellea said at last. “No wonder they want it back.”
The historical artifact was a beautiful medallion on a thick gold chain. The background was encrusted with rubies and emeralds and the centerpiece was a huge, elongated, multi-faceted diamond. It took a moment or two to realize that the gems formed a picture of a green field and a tree with rubies as apples. The diamond in the center seemed to represent a huge waterfall. On the next page, the image of the backside showed a date almost four centuries old and the name Mercuria.
“Wow,” Kayla breathed, echoing the queen. “I’ve never seen anything so gorgeous.”
“And probably worth more than ten small countries thrown together,” Pellea said. “Max, did you ever have it in your possession?”
“Are you kidding? Do you think I could have forgotten something like this? Or mislaid it? I’ve never seen this before. And I damn well know I never held it in my hand.”
They looked at each other.
“How about this?” Max asked after a moment of silence. “Do we have some sort of video communication system set up with King Juomo? If so, I could tell him face-to-face that I didn’t take this and don’t have it, without actually going there.”
Pellea nodded. “We’ve got the capability. Heck, I could do it from my notebook. But as I understand it, it will take some time to set up the official, royal version that they can use, too,” she said. “I’ll try to have the technicians on it right away.” Then she frowned. “In the meantime, you be careful. People have been known to do some ugly things to get their hands on a piece of jewelry like that.”
“Don’t worry. I’ve got my eyes open.” He gave a simple bow to the queen and a faint smile to Kayla, and then he was out the door.
Kayla was glad to know he was now certain he had not taken the artifact, but she was not so happy with his new dismissive attitude. She was mulling over how to respond to it when Pellea walked up and leaned on her desk with both hands.
“What are we going to do about Max?” she said in a quiet voice, meant to stay clear of any eavesdroppers.
Kayla was startled. “Why? What’s wrong?”
“Nothing new. Just the usual. I’m still worried about his lack of commitment to becoming a prince. His heart isn’t in it. Not yet.”
She only hesitated a moment before taking the plunge. “I’m afraid you’re right. At least, in part. I think he’s coming around, but it’s going to take some time.”
Pellea sighed. “The others seemed to be able to make the adjustment to royal status quickly and easily. I don’t know if he’s just too rigid in his ways or what. I’m really afraid that he might not be able to do it.” She shook her head, looking worried. “There’s something wild and free in him. Something that resists rules and borders. I’m not sure he’ll be able to stay.”
Kayla knew the queen was emotionally invested in Max’s success, still, she was surprised to see she had tears in her eyes. Kayla reached for her hand and held it with genuine affection.
“Oh, Pellea, don’t give up on him.”
“Oh, I can’t. We need him. The family won’t be whole without him. Like a family portrait with one face cut out. Can you imagine? Impossible! It will kill Monte if he doesn’t stay. Now that the war is basically won, now that Leonardo Granvilli is dead, he has such plans for this country.”
“I’m sure he’ll stay,” she said, wishing she could sound more convincing. But that was hard when she wasn’t sure what she was saying was true. “He just needs seasoning.”
Pellea dried her eyes and gave Kayla a watery smile. “I still have hope. I do have one ace in the hole, you know. You see, I have one piece of bait, one promise, one prize that just might keep him here.”
Kayla looked innocent. “What is that?”
Pellea laughed. “You!”
“Me? Oh, no, no, no, no.”
“Yes, you my dear. It obvious the two of you are in love. Or hadn’t you noticed?”
Luckily, a visitor arrived in time to save Kayla from having to answer that. She went back to work, typing as fast as she could, her cheeks hot and rosy. What Pellea was suggesting was insane. She knew Max well enough to know he wasn’t husband material. He wasn’t even father material. He was a wild man. And after last night, she was afraid there was no hope of anything taming him.
Kayla sent a message asking Max to come for dinner, and to her surprise, he showed up, despite the fact that he hadn’t contacted her all day. It was funny how lonely that had made her. In just a few days she’d become used to hearing from him constantly and she missed it when it wasn’t there. She served meat loaf and mashed potatoes and he had two helpings. Though he started out seeming a bit distant, he soon warmed up as he told her about talking to the king of Mercuria on the video phone connection.
“We weren’t exactly buddies when I was working on organizing the air force last year,” he said. “But we did work together often and we got along well. Unfortunately, he doesn’t seem to remember all that.”
“What did he say?”
“He insists I have the artifact. He says he has proof.”
“Proof? What sort of proof?”
Max hesitated. Then he made a wry, apologetic face and told her the truth. “He says that Princess Nadine gave it to me personally when she knew I was leaving. She supposedly gave it to me so that it would bring me back to her.” He looked at a loss. “Believe me, I barely ever spoke to the girl. And she never gave me anything. I was hardly ever that close to her.”
Kayla nodded, thinking hard. She had no doubt at all that Max was telling the truth. But how could the princess have thought she was giving it to him when she wasn’t at all? And where was it now?
Teddy was playing about their feet as they finished their dinner. He had a large, open plastic bus and a small plastic ho
rse and he was very intent on making the horse drive the bus. It seemed to make perfect sense to him that a horse would be driving. But at one point the horse fell out and the bus ran right over him.
Teddy gasped. Max reacted without thinking, reaching down to save the horse. “Poor little horsey,” he said, pretending to make the animal neigh back at him. “The horsey wants to go back in the bus,” he told Teddy, as though he’d understood the neigh. “Here.” He put him back in the driver’s seat.
Teddy stared up at him, eyes wide. Then, suddenly, he grinned right up at Max. It was a bright grin, a complete grin, full of joy, no holds barred. Max’s heart almost stopped. He’d never known. No one had ever told him what a baby’s smile could do. It knocked him out and then some. He felt something explode in his chest and realized it was his heart starting up again.
Teddy had already forgotten the moment and gone back to playing with the bus. Max turned and looked at Kayla. She smiled at him.
“Wonderful, isn’t it?” she murmured.
She understood. He didn’t have to say anything and she understood. He glanced back at Teddy, at his own sweet baby. A baby who didn’t hate him after all. He could hardly breathe, he was so happy.
They talked softly for a while longer, and the euphoria faded. He still didn’t feel right about how Teddy had come to be. It had been wrong and he feared he would have to pay for that wrong, somehow.
“Are you okay?” Kayla asked.
He looked at her. She was so beautiful with the lamplight making a halo behind her beautiful hair. He wanted her—wanted her in his life and in his bed and in his dreams. Wanted her with an ache that throbbed inside and almost made him crazy. But he wasn’t ready to tell her so. He had so many things to think about and he was having trouble keeping it all straight.
He might leave. Just go. He’d done it before. In fact, it was the way he normally operated. Stay in one place as long as it pleased him, then, when things got tough, just go. He might do it again. He didn’t want it to happen. He was trying, really trying to change his ways, to find meaning in life and stick to it. But he knew himself well enough to know it might not work that way. He might just go.