"Grandma, nobody is perfect and nobody expects you to be."
"What I'm trying to say is deep down I knew my daughter was in trouble and acting recklessly but I was more worried about trying to hide it from other people than fix it. I thought if I ignored whatever was going on with her then it would just go away eventually. Maybe if I actually accepted her imperfections and sat down and talked to her about them I could have saved her."
"Accidents happen; you can't blame yourself for Aunt Sandra's death."
"They do happen. But if my daughter thought she could confide in me and come to me for help she wouldn't have felt the need to steal a car she didn't know how to drive and go somewhere at three in the morning. Just humor me Alex, let's talk. Be completely honest and open with me, I'm not here to judge you or yell at you. What happened last weekend?"
Alex took a deep breath. She really didn't want to talk; she had tried to explain what happened multiple times. Her parents weren't interested in the truth. As far as they were concerned they had enough facts from the police officers. She didn't have the heart to say no to her Grandma though, maybe letting her think she was helping her would put her thoughts of not helping Sandra to rest.
"My friends picked me up from the school, I was in the library. This guy was driving the car, and he realized it had a busted headlight. Then he started freaking out because he was on probation and didn't want to get pulled over since he didn't have a license. We were sitting at a light and a cop pulled up behind us and turned his lights on. The guy driving was scared to pull over, so he drove a few blocks through town with the cop chasing him. Then he stopped and we all got out and ran. Obviously we got caught. The cop said if one of us didn't confess to driving we were all getting arrested, and I felt bad because my friend was going to go to jail so I lied and said I was driving. I knew they would just call Dad when they realized who I was. Either way I was going to get busted and grounded for life, I figured I might as well take the fall so my friend didn't go to jail."
Her Grandma looked a little lost, but nodded attentively. "So you're kind of like a modern day martyr? The boy that was driving, he's your boyfriend?"
"No. We've only hung out a couple times. I kind of like him, but he's not going to talk to me anymore."
"Why? You just saved his butt!"
Alex laughed; her Grandma was too cute sometimes. "Yeah, I did. But I didn't tell him or his sister who I was. Their Mom even asked me if I was related to um, the Rakers, and I said I wasn't. I didn't want them to treat me different because I was the mayor's daughter. They live in The Boxes, and they don't like private school kids. I can only imagine how they feel about me now that they know I not even go to Leighton Prep, but I’m daughter of the mayor of Leighton."
"Your Aunt Sandra went through a lot of that too. She didn't really fit in with the kids at Leighton Prep."
"Can't say that I blame her. Okay Gram, it's your turn."
"What do you mean sweetheart?"
"Can you be honest with me?"
"Of course, you were honest with me. You deserve the same."
"I read online that Aunt Sandra was arrested a few weeks before her accident, what happened?"
There was an awkward silence, and for a second Alex thought maybe she had taken it too far. Nobody wants to discuss anything bad about their dead daughter; they only want to remember the good things.
"Well, I’m not exactly sure. When it happened your grandfather said he would take care of it, then she passed away so it was never really brought up again."
"Do you know why she was arrested?"
"Yes. But she didn't do anything."
Alex cocked her eyebrow at her, as she took a drink of water.
"Grandma, nobody’s perfect, remember? If she did do something you can tell me, trust me I'm not in a position to judge anyone."
"No, really I don't think she did anything. She came downstairs one morning, and your Grandpa and I were in the kitchen. She looked startled and tried to cover up but it was too late. I saw bruises all over her neck. Sandra kept denying anything happened, but I wouldn't let her leave the kitchen until she told me. Finally, she admitted some boy she was seeing did it to her. Your Grandpa had the cops there within ten minutes and made her press charges against him."
"So how did she end up getting arrested?"
"That afternoon, she went to the police station and told them she made the whole thing up. They dropped the charges against the boy that hurt her. Then they charged her for lying to them. Telling the police lies is a big deal."
"So, you think she lied the first time she talked to the cops or the second time?"
"I think he threatened her so she went to the police station later that day and dropped the charges."
Alex nodded, that's what the note she found upstairs was about. Her Grandma was probably right, she was scared of the guy, she even said in the note he was going to kill her. She couldn't imagine what it must have been like to have someone you cared about physically hurt you so badly.
"Poor Aunt Sandra."
Her Grandma nodded blankly. She looked exhausted, like she had drained all her energy on their conversation. In a way she looked relieved too, maybe talking about Sandra so openly really was helping her. Alex felt guilty though, like she had hidden motives for talking to her Grandma. Not that she didn't want to help her, of course she did. But, was she taking advantage of her Grandma's quest for open communication, and using it to further her own quest for answers.
"Yes, my poor baby. Well, I'm going to head upstairs and take a long bath. Then I'll be turning in for the night. Sorry I'm not much company, I'm just exhausted. I made the bed in the guestroom for you, and there are some frozen dinners in the freezer."
As she passed Alex she bent down and hugged her, and added, "For the record, I think what you did to for your friend was very brave and loyal of you."
"Thanks, Grandma. Good night." Alex tried to hide her wide toothy grin. That was the first praise she had received since she got arrested.
She waited until she heard her Grandma running water in the bathroom, then she got up and grabbed the cordless phone off the kitchen counter. She paused for a second as if her parents knew what she was doing, then shrugged to herself and dialed Kenzie's number. She was at the point where she really could care less if her parents knew she was calling her friends, what else could they possibly take from her?
"Hello?"
"Hi, it's Alex."
"Oh my God! I've left you like twenty messages! I thought your parents sent you away or something."
"No, not yet. That's definitely still a possibility though. They took my phone, so I haven't been able to talk to anyone. You're not mad at me?"
"Mad at you? Are you crazy girl? You saved our asses!"
"No, I mean because I didn't tell you who I was."
"Well, yeah I was hurt that you didn't trust me. But, after what we went through last weekend I think we all have a little new-found trust for each other. You know?"
"Even Karter?"
"Oh so you do like Karter? Too bad we don't live in West Virginia."
Alex laughed, "I didn't say I like him like that."
"Right. Can you escape from Raker's Island tonight? You should try to come over, I miss you!"
"Umm ... I can get out for a bit. But I'm at my Grandma's and it's kind of far. I would have to walk through the woods past Lost Creek and I'm scared, it’s so dark out."
"Oh damn, well maybe tomorrow?"
"I can come over tomorrow. I would tonight I just don't want to walk that far through the woods in the dark. Wait, what do you mean 'too bad we don't live in West Virginia'?"
Kenzie let out her raspy laugh, "Cause ya know kissing cousins?"
"No, I don't know? Who is kissing their cousin?"
The other line got quiet for a moment; the laughter disappeared from Kenzie's voice. "When we got home I told my Mom she was right, you were a Raker. And, she said that she knew you were Sandra's daughter the day sh
e saw you. And your parents must have taken you in as their own when she passed away."
Alex's heart raced, there had to be some kind of misunderstanding. No one ever mentioned Sandra having a baby. How could everyone keep that a secret? Unless they kept it a secret because they didn't want her to know she was the baby. "What are you talking about?" she stammered into the phone.
"You have no idea what I'm talking about, do you? Shit..."
"I need to talk to your Mom."
"Ugh I don't know Alex. She's kind of out of it"
"I don't care, she’s always out of it, give her the phone," she snapped.
Alex waited, while she heard shuffling and whispering on the other end. Her mind was jumbled; none of this was making sense. No one ever mentioned Sandra having a baby, or even getting pregnant. The obituary didn't mention her leaving behind any children. And, the article in the paper said she died Halloween night, October 31st 1997. Alex's birthday was April 11th of 1998. She was born six months after her Aunt was put in the ground.
A sleepy voice crackled into the phone, “Hello|?”
"Hi, Mrs. James, it's Alex."
"I know Kenzie told me. Look I didn't want to start any problems honey, I was probably wrong."
"Why would you think I was Sandra's daughter?"
"Well when she died she was like seven or eight months pregnant. So I just thought that maybe they were able to save the baby."
"I was born in April though."
"Then see? I was wrong. I didn't mean nothing by it honey, you just are a spitting image of Sandra. So, I got a little confused..."
"Who got her pregnant?"
"Excuse me?"
"Who was going to be the father of Sandra's baby?"
"Maybe you should talk to your family bout this. I don't think it's really my place to get involved."
"My family couldn't tell the truth if their lives depended on it, please Mrs. James..."
"My brother, Omar, he was going to be the father of her baby."
Alex was quiet for a moment. She was still trying to take in everything she had just learned. Whenever she thought she figured out something about her Aunt, it turned out to be the tip of the iceberg and petty compared to the next thing she learned. Just twenty minutes ago she was stoked because her Grandma explained the mystery behind the strange note she found, then BOOM she finds out she had a baby?
"Alex? Alex are you there?" Kenzie had gotten back on the other line.
"Oh yeah sorry, I was just trying to figure this stuff out. Look I got to go. I'll talk to you tomorrow."
She heard Kenzie asking her if she was all right as she removed the phone from her ear and pressed the end button. She slumped down on the floor in the kitchen against the cabinets. She grabbed her purse and dug around in the inside pocket, and took out a stale half-smoked cigarette she had been carrying around wrapped in tissue with her hot pink lighter. She lit the end and inhaled deeply.
Was it possible she was Sandra's baby? The Rakers were rich and powerful members of the community. They had to know someone at the hospital that would fake a birth certificate, and back then there was no internet so no one would really be able to prove otherwise. That would explain why her Mom never seemed to bond with her the way she did Donavon, and why she hated Sandra so much. She got stuck raising her kid for her. She flicked her cigarette in the garbage can next to her. No wonder she looked and acted like her Aunt Sandra instead of her own Mom.
Alex stood up, and took her body spray out of her purse and spritzed it around the kitchen, half-heartedly covering up the stench of cigarette smoke. Honestly, she could care less at this moment if her Grandma caught her smoking. She leaned over the sink and splashed water on her face. She felt like a baby lying in her crib, with one of those mobiles with the tiny toys dangling above her head. The truth was dangling above her and no matter how many hours she spent kicking, squirming, and grasping, she couldn't get a hold of it. Adults just kept coming into her room and laughing at her kicking and flailing after the truth. It would only take one of them two seconds to pull down one of the tiny toys for her but they’d rather watch her struggle.
"Are you sick Alex?"
Her Grandma was standing behind her in her bathrobe with her soaked white-gray hair plastered to her head. She looked concerned and confused as she stood in the smoky kitchen looking at Alex bent over the sink.
She spun around aggressively and talked through her teeth, "I know...”
"You know what? You’re scaring me sweetie, come sit down."
"Cut the shit Grandma, I know! I know Aunt Sandra was my mom!"
Her Grandma almost looked like she was trying to hide a giggle, "Alex, what in God's name are you talking about? Do you have a fever?"
Alex was starting to second guess her theory. Her Grandma seemed genuinely confused. Maybe she had been left out the loop, and she was in as much of the dark as she was.
"Was Aunt Sandra pregnant?"
Her Grandma threw up her arms, obviously irritated.
"I don't know Alex!"
"How do you not know if your daughter was pregnant?"
Her Grandma lowered her voice, the argumentative tone slipping from her words, "She gained some weight, wore baggier clothes, all the tell-tale signs. I asked her a few times and every time I did she swore she wasn't. I didn't push the issue."
"Well she was. I just talked to her best friend, and she said she was seven or eight months pregnant when she died."
"I don't believe that."
"No, you don't WANT to believe that, there's a difference," Alex snapped.
"Regardless of whether she was or wasn't pregnant, trust me you're not her child. I saw your mother every day when she was pregnant with you, went to sonograms with her, and I sat in the waiting room at the hospital while she gave birth to you. Alex, you are Keri's daughter."
Alex stared at her defiantly, "Well, I don't believe that."
"Or you don't WANT to believe that? Just because you and your mother aren't getting along right now doesn't mean she's not your mother Alex."
Alex let her shoulders sag a little in defeat, but she wasn't ready to let go. She loved her Grandma to death, but there were obviously a lot of things her Grandma didn't know about her daughter and this could be one of them. "I'm going to bed,” she announced and headed up stairs to the guest-room.
DNA DOESN’T LIE
Alex knew her Grandma was awake; she listened to her moving around downstairs for about an hour. She kept forcing herself back to sleep, hoping that eventually she would leave the house and she could sneak downstairs and use the bathroom without having to see her. She wasn't angry at her, she just felt awkward after their argument last night. Despite their new open-door policy, it probably wouldn't have hurt to wait until she got a little more supporting evidence before she revealed her "I'm Sandra's Baby” theory.
The guest-room door opened, and Alex squeezed her eyes shut, hoping her Grandma would assume she was still sleeping and just leave her be. She didn’t leave though; she sat down next to her and shook her gently.
"Alex, honey, get up. You're not going to sleep the day away."
"Why not," she mumbled without opening her eyes.
"Well for the obvious reasons, it's a beautiful day outside. And because we're going to deal with this situation, let's nip this in the bud before it turns into another huge web of lies and secrets. I don't think this family can handle any more drama."
"What are you talking about?"
"Don't act like I'm the crazy one Alex. You were the one shouting at me about being your dead Aunt's daughter. Why do you think she had a baby?"
Alex sat up and leaned against the headboard. She should have known she couldn't avoid this conversation. You can't really drop a bomb like that on someone and go to bed and expect it to go away. She combed her fingers through strands of her thick black hair trying to appear somewhat presentable, while she carefully chose her words.
"After you went upstairs I called my frien
d Kenzie, the one that lives in The Boxes. Her Mom thought that since I was a Raker, I must be Sandra's daughter. She got on the phone and said Aunt Sandra was like eight months pregnant when she died, and when she seen me she thought they were able to save the baby."
Her Grandma nodded; apparently she had made peace very quickly with the idea that her teenage daughter was pregnant when she passed away. Then again it's probably pretty easy to make peace with something that deep down you knew all along, and just pretended it wasn't true.
"Who is this woman that told you this? She didn't think that maybe it wasn't her place to put crazy ideas like that in your head? How did she know your Aunt Sandra?"
"Don't be mad at her, I made her tell me. Kenzie is actually the one that slipped up. I don't even know her first name, her last name is James. She said Aunt Sandra was her best friend, she's Omar's sister." Alex watched her Grandma's reaction closely as she dropped the name 'Omar.' She had a sneaking suspicion he was the one that beat up Sandra.
"Well, like I said last night I don't know if that's true about your Aunt Sandra. But I can prove to you that you are Keri's daughter, and if that means putting an end to this nonsense, then I will. Get dressed; Dr. Trist will be here any minute."
Dr. Trist had to be over seventy by now, and had been the Raker's family physician since before Alex was born. He had grown very close to the family over the years, and even provided them with house calls. It was no secret that after her Grandpa passed away he even took her Grandma out to dinner a few times.
"Grandma, a doctor can't just come over and look at me and be able to tell who my biological mother is."
Her Grandma smiled at her as she took clothes out of her trash-bag on the floor and laid them out on the foot of the bed for her.
"Why don't you have a little faith in your old Grandma? I'm not senile, I know that! But there is a way he can help us without sending anything out to a lab."
"What if my Mom finds out?"
"How is she going to find out? I'm the one that pays Dr. Trist. If I tell him it's confidential, it is going to be kept confidential."
The Wrong Side Of The Tracks (Leighton) Page 7