by Premchand
With a will to get even, Gopinath replied, ‘What have you decided about the licence for intoxicating substances?’
‘I haven’t been able to come to any decision yet, but I don’t feel convinced about this business as it would certainly taint my reputation somewhat.’
‘This would not just be a taint on someone who is a professor but something all the more shameful.’
‘No profession is shameful by virtue of its nature.’
‘I don’t agree with you on this issue. There are countless such professions which an educated person cannot adopt without becoming an object of censure.’
Gopinath went home and told his father, ‘I’m not willing to get married. If you insist any further, I will renounce the world.’
Agnihotri applied for the licence the next day.
3
Two years passed. Gopinath became the manager of a school for girls which he had established. He studied pedagogy and education in depth. He claimed to be incomparable in this field of philosophy. He wanted to convert his high ideals into reality through the school. This was a school which had been able to do away with the inhibitions that parents of girl children usually have. Respectable people of the city sent their daughters unhesitatingly to this school. The educational method practised there was so attractive that any girl who stepped into the school was charmed by it. She could not bear to stay back at home after that. She received a fine education and acquire womanly skills in a period of barely three to four years. Even more noteworthy was the fact that this school did not ignore religious studies either. The course contained an identical set of scriptures for all sects of Hindus but care was taken not to hurt any sentiments.
They had started English medium sections too that year. An English-speaking educated woman of Gujarati origin had been invited for this purpose from Bombay. Her name was Anandi Bai and she was a widow. She had written several books in Gujarati but did not know any Hindi. She was an expert in the area of education and its systems, and her presence enriched the school even more. Many distinguished families who would normally have sent their children to English medium schools in Nainital or Mussoorie had had them enrolled here. Anandi Bai visited people’s homes to draw them to education. Extremely graceful in appearance and hailing from a rich family, she earned a distinguished reputation for herself in the city. All the girls adored her and fondly addressed her as ‘Ma’.
Gopinath was beside himself with pride over his good choice in employing her and sang praises of her grace and beauty to all he met. If a famous personality were to visit the city, he would make sure to arrange a visit to the school. Praise for Anandi Bai gave him as much joy as praise for his own self. In fact, to him, praise for Anandi Bai meant indirect praise for himself.
Anandi Bai was also interested in philosophy, and what is more important, Gopinath was an inspirational figure for her. She respected him from the core of her heart. His patience and selfless social service had captivated her. Though she avoided praising Gopinath to his face, she sang paeans of his glory in the homes of the wealthy that she regularly visited. Where does one find such people these days? Everyone runs after name and fame. Who wants to dedicate himself to others? In her eyes, he was more than human—he was divine. How simple and lacking in extravagance were his ways! He had no personal interests or elaborate routines. Absorbed in work from morning till night, even his meals and bedtimes were not fixed. Neither was there anyone to take care of his needs. When he returned home after sweating out his blood, he would quietly accept whatever was placed before him to eat. He would then leave once again for work soon after that, picking up his cane resolutely.
It was the month of Kunwar. Preparations for Vijaya Dashami celebrations were in full swing at the girls’ school, where a play was to be performed. The building had been decorated with zest. All the well-to-do people of the city had been invited. It was difficult to say if Anandi Bai was more excited or Gopinath. While Gopinath was busy arranging for materials, Anandi Bai would put them to good use with full care and devotion. She was the author of the play too.
It was Dashami. Gopinath had been busy arranging for the floor mats and chairs for the show till the afternoon. It was one in the afternoon and Gopinath had still not gone home for lunch. Anandi then pleaded, ‘My dear sir, you are getting late for lunch. The work’s almost over now. I’ll take care of whatever little remains.’
Gopinath replied, ‘I’ll eat presently. I’m not bound by any fixed timings for meals. Who cares about going all the way home? It’ll take hours. One would feel tempted to take a short nap post lunch. It’ll become evening in the process.’
‘Food is ready at my place too. There’s a Brahmin lady who cooks. Come and eat lunch there.’
‘What should I eat here? It won’t do any harm if I were to skip a meal.’
‘Why do you need to go hungry when food is available?’
‘I think you should go, no doubt you are getting late. I was so immersed in this that I forgot about you.’
‘If you go hungry often, what harm would skipping a meal just once cause me?’
‘No, no. You don’t need to do that. Honestly, having just one meal a day is quite routine for me.’
‘Now I know why you refuse. I’m surprised that I couldn’t understand such a simple thing earlier. I’m really stupid.’
‘What have you understood? You know very well that I don’t believe in untouchability.’
‘I know that. But as for the reason you are not eating at my place, let me tell you that I’m not just your employee. I’m your spiritual lover. Your refusal to eat at my place amounts to breaking the heart of a true devotee, which is the eye with which I view you.’
Gopinath could not make any further excuse and went and ate the food. Anandi fanned him silently the entire time that he sat for the meal.
Tribhuvan Nath and other close friends had something like the following observations about this incident: ‘Lala Sahib even eats his meals there now. And, why not, both are spiritually involved. Let’s wait and watch the outcome of this spirituality.’
4
The veil of self-discipline and morality began to lift. Gopinath had developed a passion for writing so that he could meet some financial needs. He would get the required expenses from home, but often, he would be hard pressed to find money for journals and books. Besides, his ego now came in the way of asking his brothers for small needs. He wanted to be capable enough to fulfil his own requirements. The children at home were noisy and a cause of disturbance for him. It seemed that his principles had not been able to affect the behavioural environment of the kids at home. As a result, whenever he felt disgusted with the atmosphere there, he would head straight for the girls’ school. Anandi Bai lived on the school premises. The silence in the environment helped him concentrate on his work. If he happened to be there at mealtimes, he would eat too. Anandi soon slipped into the role of his writer. She would write as Gopinath would speak. It was due to Gopinath’s efforts that Anandi had learnt Hindi. She soon acquired such expertise that she could write in it without hesitation. Sometimes, while writing, she would come up with such vocabulary or idioms that Gopinath was delighted, realizing that this would add great lustre to the writing. He would comment that Anandi would make a better writer than him if she took to writing. ‘I am just a useless writer while you are divinely gifted,’ he would say. The tongues of the respectable people of the town began to wag.
When have the conscience-clear lovers of philosophy cared for the evil tongues of the envious? In Anandi’s opinion, the world was free to insinuate what it may, but this would not make her refrain from interacting with one she was spiritually tied to. Gopinath was not as daring, for his dignity rested on the opinion of the masses. How could he possibly ignore them?
As a result, he changed the timings for his intellectual pursuits from daytime to the night. There wouldn’t be anyone around at night in the girls’ school. A lot of work would get done undisturbed. While he re
clined on the easy chair all along, Anandi would sit at the table, looking at him, pen in hand. Her gaze would be dripping respect and reverence, faith and love. After he had formulated a thought properly, he would glance at Anandi to check if she was ready before speaking it aloud. Their eyes would meet at that time. So habituated had Gopinath become to this practice that if, for some reason, he missed going there, he would become restless and uneasy.
Prior to Anandi’s entry in his life, Gopinath had had no first-hand experiences with the fairer sex. He had read past as well as contemporary philosophers on this issue. Almost all schools described a woman as a deterrent to spiritual evolution and an obstacle to a nation’s growth. She was portrayed as one who directed the heart towards backwardness and narrow-mindedness, and as a poisonous snake who led you towards carnal desire, a doubly charged wine and a double-edged sword. Western thinkers, too, entertained a similar opinion. These were some reasons which had prompted celibacy in him. But his personal experience was now telling him that a woman could also perform socially relevant tasks. She could also be a friend and companion on the path of Truth. Her company could lend support to good actions, too. The thought then crossed his mind that had Anandi been his proposed wife, he wouldn’t have had any issues in marrying. Rather, he would have sailed through life comfortably with her by his side.
Once, when he reached Anandi’s, he had a headache and didn’t find himself inclined towards writing anything. Anandi began to massage his head with oil. Much as he tried to find ways to resist her ministrations, she still managed to pour the oil on to his head. Gopinath felt a strange feeling of comfort and happiness envelop him and his emotions urged him towards speech but he did not allow a single syllable of pain or yearning to escape. Yes, he stopped visiting Anandi’s place from that day. An entire week passed without him visiting there. Anandi wrote to him. I really need you to come over. I have to consult you over certain administrative decisions regarding the school. Gopinath did not reply. Anandi wrote again. Your book is lying unfinished. It can soon go to the press if you complete it. He didn’t go over even then. She wrote a third time. It seems you are upset with me. I haven’t done anything against your wishes on purpose. However, I regard it below my dignity to stay here any more if you are angry with me. I will hand over charge to the school teacher and leave if you still don’t come.
Gopinath still did not relent. After two months of indifference towards Anandi, it came to light that she was ill and hadn’t been attending school for the past two days. He then found himself unable to offer any pretence or excuse and approached her with some sense of hesitation and embarrassment. Stepping into her room, he found her lying silently in bed with a pale face and spent body. Seeing him, she tried to get up, complaint writ large on her face. Gopinath told her to lie still, saying,
‘I’m sitting down. Did the doctor visit or not?’ The attendant woman replied in the affirmative, saying that the doctor had visited twice and had prescribed the medicine.
Going over the prescription, Gopinath guessed that the ailment seemed to have something to do with the heart. Most of the medicines prescribed were tranquilizers or resistance-building tonics. When he looked again at Anandi, her face was streaming with tears. His heart brimmed over and finding himself in the grip of strong emotion, he said, ‘Why didn’t you inform me earlier? Things wouldn’t have taken such a bad turn had you done so.’
‘Never mind, I’ll get well. I’ll get well soon. And even if I were to die, who would mourn me?’ She started sobbing loudly.
Gopinath may have been a philosopher, but his emotions hadn’t dried up entirely yet. He said in a quivering voice, ‘There’s at least one person in this world who can give up his life for you.’
He halted even as he uttered these words, finding his speech a little out of tune. He would have preferred something far more profound and sophisticated than the common vulgar statement he had made to express his feelings. But all such words eluded him.
Anandi gave him a complaining look and said, ‘In whose care did you leave me for the past two months?’
‘I didn’t abandon you, I was lamenting my destiny. I don’t know how I managed to stop myself from committing suicide. I hadn’t realized that it would be so difficult to remain true to my commitment. I didn’t write a single word during this time or turn over a single leaf of a journal. I hardly slept a wink at night. It was just one thought, one image. Just one desire had lodged itself in my heart, day and night.’
Anandi took Gopinath’s hand in hers and said, ‘You won’t neglect me in this manner ever again?’
‘What would be the outcome?’
‘Whatever.’
‘Come what may?’
‘Yes, come what may.’
‘Scandal, humiliation, ill fame, loss of face.’
‘I can endure anything and everything. And for my sake, you too have to be willing to endure the same.’
‘I can put myself on offer for the sake of my love, but not so my good name. I can’t tolerate the raised eyebrows of those who point fingers at me and humiliate me with their insinuations.’
‘Then don’t, for you have earned your name through extreme sacrifice and I don’t want to deprive you of it.’ (Taking Gopinath’s hand.) ‘I just want this. I don’t harbour desire for anything more than this sacrifice.’
‘How can the two coexist?’
‘They can, for me, they can. I can even put my spirit on offer for your love.’
5
From then, Gopinath started speaking ill of Anandi. ‘She doesn’t pay attention to work,’ he would tell his friends. ‘The earlier devotion is lacking.’ To someone else, he’d say, ‘She’s not satisfied with this place now and wants to move on. She is desirous of yearly increments, which this place can’t afford.’ He made several inspections of the school and prepared a bad report. It was a sad state of affairs, be it the administrative aspect or the academic. When some members proposed advancements for Anandi in the annual meeting of the management, Gopinath opposed it tooth and nail. Meanwhile, Anandi too had started making noises about Gopinath. She would refer to him as a stone idol that lacked human touch. It was impossible to please him. ‘I’m glad he never married, the poor woman would have been sacrificed at the altar of his finicky ways. To what extent can one show perfection in neatness and the general management of things? He gets annoyed and frowns at me for the slightest patch on the wall, a hint of cobwebs on a window or even a scrap of paper found lying in the veranda. I’ve put up with him for two years but Lala Sahib’s intolerance is increasing by the day! At this rate, I won’t be able to survive here much longer. I receive summons from different quarters every other day. I can quit whenever I want. Its only that I’ve become attached to such people as you all, and I care for the girls here, so I don’t feel like leaving this place.’ What was surprising was that no one else found any trace of careless management or bad teaching in the place. Rather, things were decidedly better now.
He happened to meet Tribhuvan Nath one day. Tribhuvan Nath asked, ‘How are things at the school these days?’
‘Don’t ask. The situation is deteriorating day by day.’
‘Anandi Bai has become negligent.’
‘Yes, absolutely. She’s not interested in work any longer and spends most of the time reading books on religion and yoga. When I point it out to her, she retorts, “I can’t do any more than this. One should worry about the hereafter and not hanker after daily bread and butter all the time. Five hours are enough to spend on one’s livelihood. Not any more than that. I used to devote up to twelve hours earlier. But I can’t maintain that kind of schedule forever; I even ruined my health. I had fallen seriously ill once. Did the management ever bother about my treatment? No one ever looked me up. Why then, should I slog away?” I believe she also talks ill of me to other women.’
Tribhuvan Nath replied, smiling knowingly, ‘These are the miracles of spirituality. I had foreseen this earlier.’
Two years pas
sed. It was night-time. In a room on the upper storey of the girls’ school, Gopinath sat on the chair facing a table. On an easy chair close by reclined Anandi, her face wan and pale. After a long silence, Gopinath said, ‘I had told you so in the first month itself. You should go to Mathura.’
Anandi responded, ‘Where did I have that kind of money? Neither could you arrange for it. As a result, I thought of staying on for a few more months and putting together some money in the process. We were also expecting some money for your book. I would have left for Mathura but who would have known that I would fall ill just at this time. I had recovered slightly for a week but could not leave then. Right now, it’s almost impossible for me to travel in this condition.’
‘What I’m worried about is that your illness will extend too long. I’m afraid that if you were to stay even a couple of months longer, it will be like spilling the beans.’
Anandi was annoyed. ‘I’m afraid, I’m afraid. How long can one continue to live in fear?’
‘I too wouldn’t have cared had many of the movements in the city not stood to lose because of my bad name. This is why I care for a good reputation. I regard these shackles of society to be utterly nonsensical and irrelevant. You are well aware of my opinion on these matters. But I’m helpless. Unfortunately, I have burdened myself with the task of serving the community. The result of this is that I have to flout my own principles, and there is no way out except removing that which is dearer to me than life in this manner, in order to protect it.’
Instead of improving, Anandi’s health kept deteriorating day by day. She became so weak that she could hardly move about. She couldn’t possibly have seen a doctor or vaid for fear of giving away her closely guarded secret. Gopinath would get medicines, which Anandi would take in the privacy of her room. Having grown weaker and weaker, she had resigned from the school and gone into seclusion. Time and again she would resolve, ‘I’ll go away to Mathura. But how will I live in an unknown city without any friend or accomplice?’ There was virtually no one there to offer her even a cup of water. Another two months passed in this confusion and dilemma. Anandi finally took the decision that she would leave come what may. We tend to find succour in the postponement of painful decisions. She now thought, ‘There’s no harm even if I were to die on the way. His name will remain untarnished. I will escape ignominy. He will be spared taint and disrepute on my account. No one would jeer at him.’ She began her preparations. Had she made them about two months earlier, she might have succeeded in her plans. Now it was only a case of saving a lost battle.